[unedited]

Louis and Niall are currently taking the keys back to the front desk and Harry is putting our bags back into the car. I sit here watching him on the curb, as his muscles shift under his shirt. He looks up and looks to me, my cheeks flush and I look away from his gaze. He chuckles and shuts the trunk and sits next to me. 

"You know what I've noticed about you?" He questions as I pick at my fingernails. 

"What?" I almost whisper not looking at him, but I feel his gaze burning into my skull. 

"You're beautiful" his accent makes me shiver and I laugh. 

"Yeah okay" I chuckle running my fingers through my hair. "How many girls have you told that to?" I raise my eyebrow. 

"Does Niall ever tell you that?" He asks, disregarding my question. 

"What kind of question is that?" I say offensively getting up from the curb but he pulls me back down. 

"I'm sorry but I'm a body reader" he pauses. "Wow that sounded...that's not what I meant" his face turns red, rubbing his neck. "It's just that your body tensed when I told you that you are beautiful, the way your face turned a light shade of pink, and how you tried to hide your face. That tells me that he doesn't say it often" he breathes. He is right, but it really gives him no right to be poking around in my business. 

"Okay so what? he doesn't say it often" I huff crossing my arms. 

"Well if I had you I would say it everyday" he whispers, I feel his hand rest on my thigh and my breath stops. "If you were mine-"

"Well I'm not and I love Niall" I push his hand off of me and get up. 

"No you don't, at least not completely. Just look at the way you're acting!" He grabs my wrist. 

"Who are you to tell me how I feel?" I scoff trying to get out of his grip. "I do love Niall-" 

"Jesus just shut up Kate" he says grabbing my face in one swift motion and planting his lips on mine. I don't kiss him back, but his kiss is so soft, so gentle. He takes a little of cigarettes, almost like Ronan and that's when my own lips betray me and kiss him back. 

"Caitriona!" I hear thinking it's Niall, but when I look up, it's Aedan. "Harry get off my sister you prick!" He says punching him in the face. 

"Oh come on Aedan! Always the one to ruin a good time" he spits out the blood from his mouth and looks at me. 

"Stay away from her!" He yells. "Now where the hell is Horan!?"  

"This is gonna be good" Harry smiles evilly. 

"Caitriona where is Niall!" He says slowly, making me shiver. I've never seen Aedan this mad, well only once and that was when he found out I was pregnant. Which was followed by a whole "you are throwing your life away" speech. Every time I think about Emilia I think about how I am an awful mother. I am such a coward, I always let her down and I don't want to do that anymore, I love her. I love her more than I could love anyone else. She deserves better, she deserves a life without a mother who is constantly gone and who isn't financially stable to keep her. 

I'm a disgrace and a fool. 

I'm a disgrace for my shameful name on this town. I'm a disgrace to this town, my mother, and especially Emilia. I am shameful because I kissed Harry. I can't even begin to explain why. For a split second I thought it was Niall, how it felt so deep and lovely. I am a fool for even ending up in types of situations in the first place. I should've known things would get this way, one way or another. I'm an awful person who hurts everyone I come in contact with and Niall is so forgiving of me. Deep down I know after he see Emilia we're done. I don't expect him to stay with me. 

"I don't want kids" I am reminded by my thoughts. Does he even like them?  I mean I never asked, I shouldn't have been so curious to ask him that question anyway. I feel pain grow in my chest, along with sadness. 

As my eyes focus for the first time, my eyes can't believe the sight unraveled before me. Aedan has Niall by the collar of his shirt. 

"Aedan please don't!" I yell stepping in front of Niall. "I know this looks bad, but I promise nothing happened okay? Nothing happened" I say calmly as his face softens, but he doesn't let him go. 

"Why was there a blood soaked rag in the sink?" He questions, raising an eyebrow. 

"He got into a fight at the pub and he had a deep cut about his eyebrow. I just stitched him up and he went home" I shrug as Niall nods. "See" I point to his forehead. "Aedan he's your best friend, I promise nothing is going on" I lie as he lets Niall go. 

"So are you and Harry together?" He questions as Niall gives him a sour expression. Fuck. 

"Nooo.." 

"But you were just kissing him?-" 

"No I wasn't" I lie. 

"Yes you did" Harry pipes in. 

"What the hell?" Niall yells. 

"Hi I'm Louis!" Louis greets my brother. 

"Shut up!" We all say in unison to Louis. 

"Who's with who?" Aedan asks. 

"You kissed Harry!?" Niall yells. 

"Okayyy......" Louis whispers under his breath. 

"STOP!" I yell rubbing my temples as everyone falls silent. "Aedan I'm not with anyone okay! Harry kissed me okay?! And Louis I swear to god..." I trail off shutting my eyes. 

"How rich Kate! He's bound to know! You can't just sit here and tell him you're not with someone when I'm standing right here! Fuck I love you!" I tugs at the roots of his hair. 

I can tell my brother is disappointed, beyond disappointed. My mother would be behind thrilled, but I can't think about what my mother wants now at a time like this. 

"So you are with him! I can't believe you would stand right here and tell me you weren't!" He yells, not angry at Niall for the most part. "You've never lied to me..." he trails off as hurt spreads across his face. 

"I know Aedan I-" 

"Don't even start with that shit Kate!" He cries. "You don't know God...you don't know! Caitriona he's...this isn't what you think it is!! He doesn't love you!" He says. What?

What does he mean? Niall loves me, I'm sure of it. I know Niall enough to know that..don't I?

"What are you talking about?" I ask look at Niall. 

"Have you even told him about Emilia?" His tone harsh, like he's scolding me. 

"Yeah she babysits her" Niall chirps. 

"Babysits? Kate you can't be serious!" He yells.

Sometimes I wish my brother had a filter. 

"What do you mean?" He says. 

"I'm pretty sure she'll tell you" he rolls his eyes before walking to his car. 

"Where are you going!?" I yell after him. 

"I'm leaving. You got yourself into this mess and I don't want to be part of it" he purses his lips and gets into his car. Before I could say another word he's gone, just the way he came. 

"Kate what doesn he mean?" He asks impatiently. 

"I told you, it's something I must show you" I bite the inside of my cheek. "Let's go" I say shamefully not meeting his eyes. I know if I do, I'll turn into a puddle of sobs. I can't bare to look at anyone's face at the moment, not while if feel shameful of myself. 

He says nothing. 

"Okay" Louis smiles. "I call shotgun!" He chuckles as I crack a small smile. 

10 minutes till my life becomes a living hell. 

//

Hope you liked it 

As always, 

-ily xx