Taylor's P.O.V

"I'm sorry..." I murmured, as the bell for lunch rang out and we exited our classroom to go to the cafeteria. Sam rose an eyebrow, oblivious as to why I was apologizing to her.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"For being so damn awkward and just randomly touching your face. A few people laughed..." I croaked. Again, Sam rolled those green eyes of hers as she responded.

"I still don't get why you're apologizing, Tay. I get it, you wanted to be caring, as friends are." She said.

Why did my heart sink when she said that?

"Here's a tip, Taylor. Don't always care what people think of you. I know it's easier said than done, you're still allowed to have your down days. But don't let every little comment get to you. Otherwise they'll always walk all over you."

"How did you end up to be so inspiring?" I joked, getting a small laugh from Sam in response. She shrugged.

"I don't know. I wasn't always like this - positive, I mean. I once remember a time when I felt like the world was just out to get me and I felt like I was just everyone's mat to walk on." She admitted. "But... I found a way to turn things around. I guess I found some sort of purpose, or something to keep me motivated. To keep me going."

What is that thing that is supposed to keep me going? Even Sam has it, something to keep her alive and motivated. So why do I still feel like I haven't found my sort of purpose. Or my thing to stick around for.

We reached the cafeteria, and me and Sam saw two girls waving at us from a table. They were also sitting with some boy. I felt Sam's hand suddenly grab my wrist, and she dragged me towards their table. For some reason, I didn't even protest.

When we got up close, I recognized two of the people sitting there. Laura and Beth, now I instantly felt nervous. Worrying they were going to ask questions about whatever exactly Sam had told them about that hospital visit.

We sat at the table, me beside Sam as she sat next to the boy, who I had surprisingly never got to know. I recognized him as a friend of Laura's and Beth's, but I never once thought of learning his name, seeing as I've never had to actually socialize with him.

"Hey, Taylor. It's good to see you up and well." Laura smiled, making me frown. But all I did was nod my head, not wanting to be rude as I understood she was just trying to be nice.

"I don't think I've actually spoken to you before." The boy pointed out, looking in my direction. "I'm Jack, just so you know."

So that's his name.

"Uh... Right..." I muttered, not really knowing how to respond. What could I say to these three other people I had never really ever spoken to? I'd only spoken to Beth and Laura on a few occasions, only to trash them because I didn't want to get involved with them. I felt so terrible for it afterwards, just brushing them off like that. But then I always just looked at them as two more people who just wanted to know rather than help.

"How did you guys meet, anyway?' I tried.

"Sam was in our History class." Beth pointed out. "She sits next to me."

"Oh right. In front of Jack and Laura." I said. She nodded.

"Wait, where do you sit in our History class?" Sam asked.

"At the back... In the corner... Alone." I admitted.

"O-Oh... Well, you could always sit near us. There's an empty seat behind us, next to Josh." Jack tried.

Josh - he was one of Mackenzie's friends. He was the douchebag who Sam ended up giving a knuckle sandwich to. He was tall as fuck, and honestly thought he was all that. I hated him. He was such a jerk.

"Fuck that. I'm not sitting next to that asshole." I spat, earning a small nod from Laura.

"I don't blame you. He's a prick. Only reason he's popular is because he can pretty much intimidate everyone. Well, almost everyone." Laura grinned at Sam, before looking back at me.

"And because he and MacKenzie used to date." I sighed.

"That too."

Wait. Was I really having an actual conversation with these people? Was I actually sitting down and making... Friends? It felt... Weird... Like I had forgotten what it was like to actually socialize and gossip with your buddies... In a way, I had kinda missed it.

"But anyway, enough with drama of our school. What was your old school like, Sam?" Beth asked. Sam chuckled and shrugged.

"Was pretty much the same, I guess. Though, it was a lot easier to stay out of drama. Here - I didn't expect to get picked up by the bitches on my very first day." She joked.

"Yeah, that's true." Beth said.

"Did you have a boyfriend?" Laura casually wondered, getting a slight elbow in the side from Beth, only for Laura to swat her hand away.

"Well..." Sam started. "Yeah, actually. But I had to break up with him, sadly."

"Oh, sorry to hear that." Jack frowned. Again, she shrugged but smiled

"It's fine, it was on good terms. We just decided that it would be better for us, as long distance relationships can be really complex."

"Yeah, true."

I never knew Sam had a boyfriend.

It's sad to hear that they broke up.

But why do I feel kind of... Happy about that fact?

"So, got any crushes now? Jack's single." Laura joked.

"Lauraaaa!" Jack complained, getting a small giggle from Sam.

"Not really buuut..." Sam looked over to Jack. "I won't deny that you're kinda cute." She complimented.

"...I SHIP IT!" Laura shouted - a little too loud. People from other tables looked at us, and we all sat awkwardly for a few moments, until the eyes upon us had finally disappeared.

"Kiss!" Laura randomly cheered, causing both Sam and Jack to nervously laugh. It wasn't long before Laura started chanting it over and over, causing Sam to flail her arms at her to get her to shut up.

I hate this.

And I don't know why.

Without a word, I suddenly got up from my seat and just ran. I heard my name was called, but like any other time, I didn't want to look back.

I found myself in the girl's bathroom, crying in one of the stalls. Sam and the others hadn't really had the chance to stop me, so I easily got away. They were probably so confused as to why I was upset...

It was so stupid.
I don't get how this happened.
I didn't want this to happen.
I didn't want to get attached.
I still hardly knew her.

Yet...

I liked her...