That Thursday Jessica's mother came into town. Jessica finally being in her mother's are was bittersweet. At a time like this, she needed her mother and her support. Dorthy being in town brightened Jessica's spirits and made things easier.

It was less than twenty-four hours before Jessica would go to the hospital and have her surgery. Her doctor had called to check on her and make sure she was ready for the operation. They also discussed putting in Jessica's chemo port while she was under. It all became more real to Jessica as she got closer and closer to her operation date and the first round of chemotherapy.

Camden sat on Jessica's lap as she bounced him up and down on the chair. 

"You're smiling makes me so happy little man." Jessica says as Camden giggles

Dorthy walks out onto the porch and sits next to Jessica.

"Thank you again for dropping everything and coming to help."

"I'm your mother, it's my job to be here."

"I told Ann, Jane, and George."

Dorthy takes Jessica's hand and holds it in her hands.

"I wish I could make things better. Like when you were a little girl home from school with the flu. You would say "Mom, can your magical kisses take away my bad cold?". If I could do anything I would."

"I can't stop thinking about what's going to happen when I leave. I think about how much I'll miss and how Camden will never really remember me when he's older. I'm scared to leave this earth and leave behind Sam, Camden, and Kennedy. I'm not ready to go."

"And you aren't going. Don't think about that right now. You will spend all your time worrying. Worrying will stop you from living and enjoying your life. Cherish everything."

"I've always worried, especially when it comes to my kids and husband. I wish this was all a dream."

**

The next morning Sam and Jessica woke up very early heading to the hospital for Jessica's lumpectomy and chemo port insertion.

Jessica paced around the house before she left she went into Camden's room to kiss him goodbye then Kennedy's room. She leaned over and kissed Kennedy's forehead. She slowly woke up and smiled.

"Good luck today." Kennedy gives Jessica a hug.

"Thank you."

Kennedy sat up and pulled something out from under her pillow.

"This is a good luck card I made for you because I know you will do great."

Jessica teared up and read the card. "Thank you, Kenny."

"I love you. When you get home I'll have brownies waiting for you."

"You have to go to school!" Jessica chuckles

"Well, when I get home I'll make them"

**

Jessica rested on the drive over since she didn't get much sleep that night. When they got to the hospital Jessica got checked in. She got her gown on and they began hooking Jessica up to IV's to prepare her for surgery.

"Don't be nervous... I'll be here when you get out." Sam tightly holds onto Jessica's hand.

"Okay..."

"When you get home we can lay in bed just cuddling, watching movies, and eating popcorn."

"That sounds like something nice to look forward to."

"I know right." Sam smiles

"They are ready for you Mrs. Shepard." The nurse says

Jessica takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. Sam leans down and gives her a kiss. 

"You'll do great." He runs his hand down her face and smiles

Jessica quivers her lip. "I guess this is where it starts."

The nurses got Jessica ready. 

"I love you, Jessica, I will see you when you get out."

"Don't be worried, go get some breakfast or watch the game."

Sam chuckles and kisses Jessica's hand as they wheel her to the OR.

It was impossible for Sam to get his mind off things. He wasn't able to go get breakfast or watch a game. His wife was in surgery. Knowing Jessica had cancer brought lots of things to Sam's attention. There was this sense of guilt that he couldn't get rid of. Sam wasn't usually an emotional guy, but when it came to the well-being of his wife and kids he changed. When Kennedy was in the hospital multiple times it was hard for Sam to see her so weak and frail. Sam wasn't strong when it came to Jessica, Camden, and Kennedy very sick. He felt weak himself. As the man of the house, he wanted to protect everyone and take away the pain.

I can't lose my soulmate. I know this is just the start, but I'm not ready for an end. We were supposed to grow old together. I'm supposed to die before her. I deserve to be where she is. She has always been the best wife. She never messed up. I'm the one the messed up, I'm the one who was unfaithful and gave her a hard time. I took advantage of our perfect relationship. How could I do that to her? Why did I do it? She's just so amazing. I don't know how I got so lucky. She gave me children and happiness. I have to do everything to make sure she's happy in such a hard time like this. She's the only women that can make me truly happy. God, I beg of you to make this horrible journey painless on my sweet Jessie. You know she's good.She's better than good, she's great. 

Forty-five minutes later the nurse came into the waiting room.

"Mr. Shepard. Jessica is finished with surgery. It went great, we removed the lump which was the size of a ping-pong ball. And her chemo port is inserted. She's in recovery right now."

"Can I see her?" Sam stands up and holds his jacket close to his side.

"Of course. She's a little out of it. As we see her I would like to tell you how these next few days will go."

Sam nods and walks beside the nurse.

"For women, experiences like this can change them, it can change their attitude, what they do during the day, and showing happiness. Now everyone's different. As her husband, I suggest that you have patience. Cancer is very scary, especially in Jessica's case. She'll become frustrated, angry, and sad. Just be there to support her. Her cancer meds will effect her and change her, so will chemotherapy and radiation when she begins treatment.

As for recovery, Jessica has a drain connected to her right now before she leaves we will remove it. Make sure she rest, doesn't lift heavy things, takes her pain meds and cancer med, and sponge baths only until her follow up on Monday. Make sure she does some arm exserisizes which we will show you how to do, and one last thing just make sure she is comfortable."

The nurse slides the door open. Jessica rested peacefully. Sam's eyes teared up as he rushed to her side grasping for her hand.

Jessica slowly began waking up. 

"Sammy, is that you?" Jessica says with her eyes closed. She moves her right hand trying to find his face. Sam takes her hand and holds it close to his face.

"Hey, baby... It's me. You did great, I knew you would."

"I missed you." Jessica mumbles

Jessica tried to move her left arm but hissed in pain. 

"Try not to move that arm right now." The nurse says checking her heart rate.

"When can I see my babies?" Jessica cries

"Soon, very soon. They just need to monitor you for a while." Sam whispers

"It hurts Sam. It hurts so bad."

"Jessica, we are going to send you home with some pain meds, okay?" The nurse says

After monitoring Jessica for a while she slowly starts to become more present and not as groggy from all the anesthesia. They then removed her drain and IV. Before they left the doctor went over once more what recovery would be like and went over exercises for Jessica's left arm.

Jessica was in lots of pain and very tired. The nurses wheeled her out to the car and helped her into the car.

On the car ride over Jessica put her hand over her upper chest feeling a hard bump. Sam looked over and her.

"Don't touch that Jess." Sam says concerned

"Is this the port?"

"Yes."

"It feels weird." Jessica moans.

** 

When they get home Dorthy and the kids waited at the door to greet Jessica.

"Mommy!" Kennedy runs over to Jessica but Sam stops her suddenly.

"Be gentle Ken." 

Jessica smiles and hugs Kennedy with her one arm.

"How did it go?" Dorthy says

"It hurts, a lot. That damn lump was the size of a ping-pong ball." Jessica hugs her mother

"Why don't you go upstairs and rest. I'll make an early dinner." Dorthy smiles.

"Mom, why do you look so sad?" Kennedy follows Jessica and examines her facial expressions.

"I'm just really worn down Kennedy."

"Oh.." Kennedy says sadly

"Why don't we give mom some space." Sam says

**

Jessica couldn't sleep that night from the amount of pain she was in. She cried and moaned unable to get comfortable.

"Sam." Jessica taps Sam with tears in her eyes.

Sam quickly woke up.

"Yes, are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, but can you please help me into the bath."

"Of course. I'll go start it for you."

It was 3 am, Sam was tired but he promised himself he would do anything for her.

Jessica's whole body was hurting from the medication and surgery. Her whole body felt off as if it wasn't hers. 

Jessica got into the tub. She had her knees to her chest and rested her chest lightly on her upper legs. Sam ran a warm towel down Jessica's back to sooth her and release some of the pain. 

"How do you feel?" Sam whispers

"I can't describe it."

The doctors also put Jessica on medicine for cancer which took a lot out of her and left her with side effects. 

Jessica sat up and looked at Sam. Sam sat on the floor and rested his head on the ledge of the tub.

"I don't want this to be my life."

"No matter what you need to make it better, I'll do it. You aren't alone."