A/N: It's a very long chapter, over 4000 words in fact, so yeah... you have been warned. Hopefully you like it, though 😊

*Lilia's P.O.V*

Monday

I pulled my denim jacket over the top of my black dungarees and stood in front of my mirror, smiling at my reflection and deciding I was ready to take on the day.

It was the 27th of February and today me, Zoe, Joe, Mark and Connor were going down to Wiltshire for the week. We were going for two reasons; one because it's Dad's birthday tomorrow and two because Mark and Connor said they've always wanted to go to Bath and Zoe, Joe and I decided that if anyone should take them down there, it should be us considering it's literally our territory. Our stomping ground, as Zoe puts it.

The last two months have been hard, I'm not going to lie, but they've been worth it. After weeks of court appearances and giving statements and other legal business, Callum has finally been sentenced to 5 months in a juvenile detention centre.

I'm doing a lot better than I was around Christmas as well, thanks to my weekly therapy sessions and having my nearest and dearest around me. It's taken me a while to get my confidence back, and I haven't fully achieved it yet, but I'm getting there. I'm definitely getting there and I'm proud of myself because three months ago I couldn't see myself being this happy again, but here I am. So happy, in fact, that I've decided to vlog today. For the first time in almost four months, I'm picking up my camera again.

"Hello, my lovely viewers," I smiled into the camera once I'd mustered up the courage to pick it up, "It's been a while, hasn't it?" I sighed, "I apologise for that, I've just been going through a lot these last few months. Without going into too much detail, it's been hard. It's been very hard and I've been dealing with a lot, but things are looking up now. Things are getting better and I'm much, much happier now, so I decided to pick up my vlogging camera after what feels like decades. It will take me a while to get back into the swing of things, to get back to normality, so do bare with me," I let out a laugh to lighten the mood after what I'd just explained, "But this week should be very fun and vlog-worthy, as we're going down to Bath!" I grinned as I grabbed my yellow cross body bag and made my way out of my room and downstairs, still vlogging.

"Joe's here, since he's coming to Wiltshire with us as it's Dad's birthday tomorrow and Mark and Connor will be here soon since they're coming as well." I explained as I walked into the kitchen, flipping my camera to film Joe who was at the dining table before flipping it back to me.

"Hey, you're vlogging." Zoe observed with a bright smile.

"That I am." I beamed. I turned my camera off for a while since nothing really exciting was happening and not long after that, Mark and Connor arrived.

"Hey, you." Connor smiled as I walked up to him.

"Hello." I giggled as he wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned in to kiss me. Our lips were inches apart when someone cleared their throat and we both jumped back to see Joe stood in the doorway, glaring at Connor, who just smiled awkwardly and settled for kissing me on the cheek instead. We then went into the kitchen since we were still by the front door.

As expected, everyone was pretty shocked when me and Connor started dating, since we've always "hated" each other. Except Zoe, I think she always knew we'd end up together.

I know, I'm taking a risk by dating again after everything that's happened, but it's different this time. I know Connor, I know what he's like, I know he would never hurt me or lay a finger on me. I love him, and he loves me, and as cheesy, cliche and silly as this makes me sound, I feel as though we're meant to be. Maybe it is a bit too soon for me to be jumping into another relationship after the last one ended so horrendously, but if that's the case, I believe the universe will let me know and since it hasn't yet given me any signs, I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing.

"So, Con, are you excited for your first trip to Wiltshire?" I asked, swinging my arm around his neck as I had my vlogging camera out again.

"I'm so excited." He laughed and I giggled as I had to stand on my tiptoes to wrap my arm around his neck and could hardly keep my balance. My viewers don't know that me and Connor are together. They know that we resolved our "hatred" for one another and they know that we're now good friends, they just don't know about the 'more than friends' part.

"Mark's here as well," I walked over to Mark and we both had a little giggle about how he had to bend down quite a bit to fit in the frame of my vlog, "And we're twins today." I grinned, gesturing to the fact we were both wearing dungarees. Although, his were blue denim and mine were black, plus he was wearing his undone unlike me.

"Oh yeah, I didn't even realise you were wearing dungarees!" He laughed.

It was soon time for us to leave so we said goodbye to Alfie, since he wouldn't be coming with us and Zoe made him promise not to destroy the house, although we both know he's not gonna promise anything. Knowing Alfie, we'll probably come home to find ball pits and trampolines inside or something. We also said goodbye to Nala before leaving. Zoe drove, Mark sat next to her up front while me, Joe and Connor were in the back. Joe insisted on sitting in the middle, probably so he could get in between me and Connor and make sure there was no "funny business" going on.

The car ride was actually so much fun. Usually, I'm not a fan of long distances in the car but I loved this one. We spent pretty much the entirety of the journey recreating Carpool Karaoke, singing/screaming the lyrics to our favourite songs and laughing to the point of crying.

Almost three hours later, we arrived in Bradford on Avon. We'd decided to stay here since it was the perfect halfway point between Bath and Lacock. We'd rented this adorable little cottage from Airbnb which only had two bedrooms, so I'd have to share with Zoe and Mark and Connor would have to share but that was okay. Since Joe was going to be staying with Dad, he didn't have to worry about where to sleep. Since Mum lives fairly near to where we were staying, she popped over with her dog, Hector not long after we arrived and we all decided to go for a walk since it was a lovely evening.

"So we've decided to come on a little evening stroll," I told my vlogging camera as we left the cottage, "Because the weather is lovely, although it hasn't been that way all day," I chuckled, "It's finally starting to feel like spring even though February's not even over yet, but I'm still excited." I beamed, "Mum's with us as well, and her adorable dog Hector." I filmed Mum who was holding Hector's lead and giggled when she gave a cute little wave. We walked through the streets of the adorable little town and I vlogged most of it, rambling on about whatever to my camera.

"Look, it's like something out of Harry Potter." I said, filming a narrow little alleyway with eerie gold lights that we came across. We did some more walking and exploring and at one point Connor snuck up and took hold of my hand.

"Connor!" I whined.

"What?" He chuckled.

"My viewers are going to see us holding hands." I said as I still had my camera out.

"Turn it off then." He laughed and I just rolled my eyes at his smartass response before turning my camera off and putting it in my bag. I did film a bit more after that, but made sure to keep our intertwined hands out of shot so it looked like we were just walking next to each other.

After our walk, Mum went home and we just relaxed in the cottage with Joe before he left to go to Dad's. Zoe did a little tour of the cottage for her vlog and we did a bit of unpacking before we all snuggled down in the living room to watch Broadchurch.

Tuesday

Today was going to be a fun day. It was Dad's birthday so we were going down to his place this morning, and after that, I believe me, Zoe, Mark and Connor are going to have a little wonder around Lacock and probably visit the abbey where Harry Potter was filmed, which I was very excited about. Even though I've already visited the abbey about one hundred times, it never gets old.

I woke up when Zoe got up, since we were sharing a bed and her moving around woke me up.

"Morning, sleepy head," Zoe chuckled when I groaned tiredly, "How did you sleep?"

"Quite well, actually." I groggily answered, sounding surprised. I wasn't expecting to sleep that well since me and Zoe were forced to share such a tiny bed and there wasn't a lot of room.

"I did as well, surprisingly." Zoe said, clearly thinking the same as me, "Anyway, do you mind if I go and get in the shower or did you want one first?"

"Uh, no, I had a shower last night so you can go ahead and I'll just get dressed." I replied.

"Alright." She smiled before picking up the clothes she'd put together and the towel she'd got out before leaving the bedroom.

I got out of bed and went over to the cute wardrobe that was against the wall opposite the bed and opened it to find something to wear. I eventually decided on a dark pinkish, blush red hoodie, a floral embroidered denim skirt, a pair of fishnet tights, a pair of dark mahogany Converse and a black leather jacket, although I didn't know if I'd need the jacket as the weather was looking quite sunny. I did my makeup and added my Too Faced Melted Matte Liquid Lipstick in the shade Suck It and put my hair in french braids. I swear, I live in french braids these days. For jewellery, I chose my three silver antique ring set, my Harry Potter charm bracelet and my Harry Potter glasses, which I thought were fitting since we're going to the place where it was filmed later. Lastly, I popped on my red rose phone case and grabbed my maroon Cara Delevingne embellished Mulberry bag before leaving the bedroom.

"Good morning, you." Connor smirked, meeting me in the hallway, probably having just got up himself.

"Good morning." I giggled as he pecked me on the lips.

"You look like you're on your way to Hogwarts." He stated, looking up and down my outfit.

"What pulls it off? The glasses?" I asked with a smile, bringing my hand up to adjust them.

"You pull it off, actually. You look adorable." He grinned, kissing my forehead and sending a frenzy of butterflies straight to my stomach.

"You are so sappy." I giggled, playfully pushing him by his chest. Connor just chuckled before taking my hand so we could walk down the stairs together.

Once we were all ready and dressed and had eaten a bit of breakfast, we left the cottage. We didn't have a very big breakfast, though, as we planned to make pancakes at Dad's. We ended up stopping off at Sainsbury's in a town called Chippenham (a/n: my real life hometown 😂☺️🙈) on our way there to get some bits and bobs.

"I wonder if this would fit me." I giggled while we were in the kids isle, holding up a child's Cinderella dress against my body.

"You don't need it," Connor said, taking it from me and putting it back on the hanger, "You're already a princess." I tried to glare at him for being so soppy again but I couldn't help but smile and blush as he pulled me into his arms and rested his chin on the top of my head.

"Can you two stop being so cute, I think I might be sick." Mark teased as he walked up to us with Zoe.

"Leave them alone, Mark." Zoe laughed.

"Yeah, leave us alone, Mark." I playfully scowled, Connor's arms still around my waist.

Once we'd gotten everything we needed, including a really cool laughing emoji birthday cake for Dad, we left and drove to his place. When we got there, we all gave Dad big hugs and told him happy birthday, and I gave Joe a huge hug as well even though I just saw him yesterday. We then got on with the pancakes; we made regular ones, a bear shaped one, a weird looking fish shaped one and we were really mature and made a penis shaped one... It was Joe's idea, okay?! But despite the vulgar shapes, they all tasted amazing, especially with the toppings we had. We also played around with Dad's leaf blower like a bunch of primary school kids but who cares, it was fun.

After Dad's, Zoe, Mark, Connor and I left and went on a little adventure around Lacock.

"So, we're just having a wander around our little village now," I told my vlogging camera, since I'd been vlogging today as well, I planned to vlog every day during this little holiday, "We've just been to look at the primary school and me and Zoe actually got a bit emotional because it made us feel so nostalgic." I giggled and so did Zoe, who was also vlogging. We went to some of our favourite childhood hangouts and took some good photos for Instagram. We also went into a greenhouse which was really cute and had some gorgeous flowers inside that smelt amazing. After the greenhouse, we made our way up to the abbey. On our way there, I was having a little look through the photos we'd taken on the camera and came across a particularly adorable one. It was taken in the greenhouse and Connor and I were mucking around. He was down on one knee in front of me, holding out a bunch of dark purple hyacinths and I was laughing, covering my blushing cheeks with my hands.

"Hey, Zo," I ran to catch up with her, "Did you take this?"

"Oh, yeah, I just thought it was too cute not to," She smiled, "Why? Do you not like the picture?"

"No, no, I love it, thank you for taking it." I grinned. We soon arrived at the abbey and I got my vlogging camera out once again.

"So, this, as many of you already probably know, is where they filmed Harry Potter." I said excitedly, filming as we walked in.

"This is actually the coolest thing." Connor claimed, looking around in awe. It was actually adorable seeing the look of amazement on his face.

"It is, isn't it?" I giggled. We took loads of pictures inside the abbey, of course, most of which would also be going in Instagram. I got Connor to take one of me pretending to cast a spell with an imaginary wand but I don't know if it looked cool or if I just looked like a moron. I guess I'll find out.

"As cool as it is in here," I began, still vlogging, "It is kinda creepy."

"Yeah, I wouldn't like to be in here at night." Connor agreed.

After a while we decided to head back to the cottage as it was getting late, so we left the abbey and got in Zoe's car to go back to Bradford on Avon. We didn't do much for the rest of the day, we just stayed in the cottage and chilled, really, until we decided to go to bed.

Wednesday

I could tell today would be really fun as well. It was our last full day in Wiltshire since we were leaving tomorrow, which was sad, but we planned to venture into Bristol and then Bath with Mum so I was excited for that.

I was feeling quite cute today in my light denim dungaree dress which had a cute pocket on the chest with a little flower embroidered in the middle and my light pink sweater underneath, as well as a pair of tights since the air was still quite chilly and my trusty old white Converse. I also had my hair in french braids again, what a surprise.

"You look cute today, Lils." Zoe basically read my mind as I walked into the kitchen of our temporary little cottage.

"Thank you." I giggled as Connor walked in.

"You look like a beautiful summer flower today." He told me, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"Thanks." I laughed at the sweet but slightly odd compliment while Zoe smiled at us.

"You guys are literally couple goals." She stated making Connor and I laugh.

"Even more so than you and Alfie?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, you're in second place for couple goals." She jokingly corrected herself and the three of us giggled.

Mark then walked in and we all had breakfast. Not long after that, Mum got here and we all left to head to Bristol.

"So, we're in Bristol now," I told my vlogging camera once we'd arrived, "And we're going to do a little Primark shop," I paused for a moment and thought about what I just said before laughing at myself, "Although, I don't think little shop is the appropriate term when it comes to me, Zoe and Primark. More like gigantic, monstrous Primark shop." That earned laughs from Zoe, Mum, Mark and Connor. We soon got to Primark and just looked around. I wandered off on my own for a little while and found myself by the jeans.

"Hey," An employee walked up to me and smiled. He looked around Connor's age.

"Uh, hi." I smiled back at him awkwardly.

"Can I help you with anything?" He asked me.

"Oh, um, no thanks, I think I'm good." I politely declined.

"Alright, well, just a heads up; these jeans are a lot better value than those jeans." He told me in a hushed tone, gesturing to one rack of jeans before gesturing to another a couple feet away.

"Noted." I giggled as Connor walked up to us.

"Hey, you." I grinned at him as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Hey." He replied and it looked like he was glaring at the guy who was trying to help me, "Come on, Zoe's looking for you." And with that, he dragged me away.

I was right when I said we'd end up doing a monstrous Primark shop, but eventually, we left and drove to Bath, where we did even more shopping. We went into some of my favourite shops, including Urban Outfitters, Anthropology, Superdrug, Lush, and we had some lunch in Jamie's.

Our epic shopping trip soon came to an end as Mum had to get home and so did we. Well, we had to get back to the cottage so we got in Zoe's car and we were on our way.

At around dinner time, Zoe and Mark popped out to get something to eat while Connor and I stayed behind. We were sat in the living room watching TV and honestly, you could cut the tension with a knife in here. He'd been acting hostile since we were in Primark so I decided to ask him about it.

"Con, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He replied sharply. He didn't even properly snap at me, but there was clearly anger, or at least annoyance in his voice and that scared me.

'Relax, Lilia,' I reminded myself, 'This is Connor you're dealing with, he is not going to hurt you.'

"There's something wrong, I can tell." I pushed.

"No there isn't." He insisted.

"There's no point in lying to me, Connor." I was getting a little impatient. Why wouldn't he just tell me?

"Okay, fine," He turned to look at me, "I didn't like the way you were talking to that guy in Primark. The sales guy or whatever he was." He huffed.

"Why? He was just being friendly." I shrugged naively.

"No, he was flirting with you and I didn't like it." Connor admitted. Oh god, he was jealous. I know, I should be flattered that he's jealous, but I couldn't help but feel anxious. We all remember what happened whenever Callum would get jealous.

'Connor is not Callum!'

"So, I'm not allowed to talk to other guys?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"No, that's not what I meant. I know you would never flirt back, I just didn't like the way he was acting."

"Well, I can't just avoid all others guys just because you don't like the way they talk to me."

"That's not what I'm saying!" He shouted, throwing his arms up in frustration. I flinched and cowered into the cushions on the sofa. Deep down, I knew he would never hurt me, he would never even touch me, but it was just force of habit.

Connor immediately noticed my reaction and his eyes softened, "Oh, Lils, god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare-"

"It's fine." I cut him off, my voice quiet and small as I got up and left the living room, running upstairs to mine and Zoe's room where I sat on my bed and let the tears out.

~~~

It wasn't long before Connor came up after me and him softly knocking on my open door made me look up to see him smiling sadly at me.

"Can I come in?" I just nodded at his question and so he came and sat next to me.

"I'm so sorry, Lils. I never should've gotten angry, I never should've acted like that." He told me softly.

"It's okay, Con," I assured him before taking a deep breath, "But I've been thinking and... I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"What... What do you mean?"

"I... I don't think I'm ready for another relationship. I thought I was, or at least, I though I was ready for a relationship with you, because I love you and you love me and I know that you'll never, ever hurt me but that didn't stop me from reacting the way I did when you just got a little mad. How am I supposed to be with someone if I get scared and think I'm gonna get hurt when we get into arguments, even if they're just tiny ones? I mean all couples argue, but I can't deal with arguments. I can't deal with the shouting or the anger or-"

"Hey," Connor cut me off when I started to ramble and tear up again, taking my hand and running his thumb over the back of it softly, "It's okay, I get it."

"I'm so sorry, Connor." My voice cracked and even though I didn't say it, he knew what we needed to do.

"I said I get it." He softly reminded me.

"Do you, though? Or are you just trying to make me feel better?"

"Would I lie to you, Lilia?" He asked and I shook my head, "Exactly, of course I get it, of course I understand. I'm not going to force you to do something you're not ready for after everything you've been through, but I am going to wait for you, because you were right. I love you, so much and I don't care how long it takes, I will wait until you're ready for this. For us."

"You're the best person ever." I smiled up at him.

"Really? Because this time last year you were saying I was the worst person ever." He said with a smirk.

"Well, things change." I giggled as he pulled me in for a hug and I snuggled into his chest.

Things do change. People change, feelings change, life changes, which means I'm going to change and eventually, every shitty thing that's happened this year will be nothing but a distant memory. It will take time, a lot of time, I know that, but I'm willing to wait and I'm willing to do the work to make that happen. I'm a strong believer in the theory that everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff, and as long as I remember that, and as long as I have my most loved ones by my side, I know I'll be okay.

End.