𝖣𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 arrestthatqueen Tritty_pet T𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀♡

BREATHE.

Grabbing my robe, I step out of the bathroom. Today has been one of those days that start out calm, unsuspecting and by night, leaves you feeling like you've lived three hundred and sixty-six days in twenty-four hours.

Pyjamas.

I walk into the closet and select my favourite navy blue sweat pants. I feel like being shirtless so I walk back to the bed and lay down.

Being back home after so long feels strange-not in the way that it made me hate my life before-rather, like I'm living my real life for the first time.

I don't dislike the maids calling me sir, any less, I'm not anymore pleased by Mother's gigantic furnishings and Sangria, I don't think I'll ever forgive Tosin, he just went too far, and my bed is still too big. But I feel a different level of participation in learning to love it.

I pull my phone up to my face: 11:23pm

She must have settled in by now.

I turn off my lamp and hit call, waiting patiently as it rings. She picks up on the third one.

"Hey," I say.

"I'm sorry about today," she says.

"How are you now?"

"Drugged," she chuckles weakly.

"Did it help?"

"They just put the I.V in and so far, it's only making me high. The pain is stubborn. "

"Sounds familiar."

She laughs. A bit stronger than the chuckle.

"Finding it hard to fall asleep?" I ask.

"Kind of. I asked Mom to leave. So I'm alone and it's harder than I thought."

"She left?"

"Yeah. I told her I was going to die if she stayed, so she left."

I laugh, she laughs too.

"Are you good, alone?"

"I am now," her voice tapers off into a sniff.

"Talk to me, anything. Let's talk till you fall asleep. "

"What would you like to talk about?" she asks.

"Anything, everything you haven't already told me."

"Chinny blocked my number."

"Not that, something cute," I say.

She lets out a sniffy nasal laugh that makes me smile.

"I can't think of anything cute right now."

"Okay, I have one. You were telling me earlier about what you want to do most."

"Sunsets?" she asks.

"Yeah you said you had a top five?"

"Mhmm." she says. I imagine her nodding, I imagine her smiling, I imagine I was there in the hospital.

"I didn't know sunsets differed like that, so please educate me professor," I say.

She chuckles again. "It's not that big of a deal. There's Kenya, Tanzania, Italy, Greece, India, Seychelles, Boston-wait. That's seven. Sorry." she laughs.

I laugh too, going over the countries in my head. "Seychelles doesn't cut first five? That country is beautiful. "

"Admitting it feels like cheating on her, I know," she says. "But yes. Gosh, it's hard to pick."

I laugh harder. "So, Kenya, Tanzania, Italy, Greece and India?"

"Yes."

"I've been to Italy," I smile. "The rest are a mystery. I don't even remember seeing a sunset. Maybe I did, but then you had not infected me with opacarophilia, so I'm sorry, but I don't know what an italian sunset looks like."

"It's beautiful. I've seen it, only on paper though, iTravel profiles the best locations."

"So which country takes first place?"

"It's going to be between Greece and India."

I pick up my tablet and search Google for Greek Sunsets. "Santorini?" I ask.

"Yes, Santorini, Greece. I love that one."

"Taj Mahal?"

"Yes, for India. Are you browsing it?" she asks

"Yes." I say, "I feel sad that I thought the sunset at the park was something. Nothing beats a violet glow between angry oranges and yellows."

"I know right? When you say it like that, I want to appear there immediately. " I can tell she's smiling.

Silence fills up the call. "Are you sleeping already?" I ask.

"Nope."

"Is there something else you want to talk about?"

"Uhmm, let's see," she says. "Did I ever tell you about Daniel?"

Daniel.

"No, I don't think."

"Okay. So at Riverside, I knew him for about a year. We were both twelve and he was a sickler too. There was Kio too. He was also a sickler." She pauses as if to check that I was following.

"I'm listening," I say. "Don't stop."

"So I had a harmless crush on Daniel. . ."

I clear my throat.

She laughs. "It was harmless."

"I didn't disagree." I smile.

"Ivan, whatever. But he died, so did Kio."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I guess. The thing is that since he died, I've seen him twice. Not in real life, but weird realish dreams." A small stretch of silence follows, "I probably sound crazy," she exhales.

"If it makes you feel any better, I see my father in weird realish dreams too, so it's okay."

"That did make me feel better. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I reply.

"The thing is, every time, he tells me the same thing."

"What's that?" I ask

"That I'm his shooting star, and I have to burn."

I have nothing to say so I remain silent.

"And each time, it seems less, and less like a dream."

"He says shoot?"

"Yes, shoot."

"Shoot?" I repeat.

After a quiet pause, she laughs. "Shoot."

"Okay, then shoot." I say it in the way that makes two people become one, in the way that saying I do binds people in marriage.

"I think I feel sleepy now," she whispers.

I laugh. "Okay. I'll come around tomorrow."

"See you."

I breathe deep and drop my phone when she hangs up.

I have a good feeling.

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