Finally! After a long wait, we have calculated the results and finalized the ranking of our My Time To Shine category!

We want to thank the esteemed Throne Community and their judge  rinaXhazurina for their time and for lending us their expertise in adjudicating.

I am sure you all have been waiting with bated breath, and so... without further ado... here are the winners of the My Time To Shine Category!

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MY TIME TO SHINE {ACTION}

1. THE VISIONS OF GRANDEUR AWARDS - Action Genre Judging Conclusion

1. The Saga of Mafioso (Book 1- Mafia-verse) by JohanLiebert33

Title: 5/5
A very cool title for an action scene centralized on the genre of mafia. At first, I suspected the word ‘Mafioso’ was the protagonist’s name or nickname, or a mafia group name, but in reading the book (the first chapters, at least), I didn’t find any meaning alluding to it. Maybe it’s going to be a label alluded to someone or something but personally, I suggest that the titles should also be coherent with any elements in the story but in general, it’s an epic word with an epic pronunciation to it.

Cover: 5/5
An awesome cover for a cool-naming book. I gotta say, it lived up to the vibe of the story with the dark but sharp colors. I like the details of the shadows creeping in behind the man indicating darkness in his trail and the flaming city below him which, from what I can conjure, is an allegory–probably even literal-to the chaotic nature of Harran City where the story takes place.

Blurb: 4/5
The blurb immediately hits off with what the readers are to expect from the story. It kindles curiosity, gives us a reason why we should care about the protagonist, and provides a view into what the world will be and the conflict tied to the characters. It also gave off a unique writing proposition that introduces something new or rare outside of the common story elements–the reality of mafia worlds. I would’ve given it a perfect score but there are major grammatical issues that need to be dealt with.

Mechanics: 12/20
Now the reason why I gave it such a low score on the mechanics is quite clear: there are significant, apparent writing mistakes AND there are some particular scenes that made me feel like it was AI-generated. I do not want to accuse anyone of using AI-generated content but there are two things I’m inquisitive about that further deepens my suspicion. One is why is it that most of the scenes have major grammatical errors but not on the fight/action scenes? This is mostly alluding to the cage fight between Angelo and Jordan wherein after that scene, we get to the moment Angelo, John, and Louise celebrate and the presence of writing errors comes back. And two, if there are scenes that have normal, correct writing mechanics, why are there more grammatical errors in the writing than normal ones or why not bother fixing the major grammatical errors while writing/editing? I’m sorry if this sounds critical but if you have any issues regarding this part of the judging, you can personally message me in my message board and not bother the community. It’s also odd how the scenes lacking these grammatical errors suddenly have creative descriptions while the others heavily tend to be more on the tell than show way of describing a subject.

Plot: 19/25
A pretty good plot, so far. We were able to understand Angelo and his motives and struggles, and the world of chaos he is in. There are some questionable scenes that appeared redundant to me like, why did John have to drug Angelo to tell him to get to a group of men to retrieve a cassette when he still has leverage over him by the money he is offering? He could’ve simply asked him to do that as a last requisite before allowing him to fight in the fight club, so I find the drugging moment to be unnecessary. I also feel like there’s a lack of emotional depth for Angelo and his relationship with his mother. I don’t remember any scene of him seeing his mother in the hospital or interacting with her at all, or how deep their relationship is by describing how much she meant to him not just because she is his mother. Reveal to us some scenes of why his mother meant that much to him so readers can have an idea to a great degree about Angelo and his determination to pay her hospital bills. There were dialogues that sounded unnatural too when John offered Angelo to fight for him.

Flow & Pacing: 11/15
The scenes have achieved quite the intended pacing rates. The fight scenes are fast, the emotional ones appropriately gradual but a little too fast. Though it just needs a few touches of show and not tell details that can make the emotional scenes almost perfectly gradual. A big point to that. The same goes to the flow, however, it is often disturbed by the grammatical flaws, kindling an awkward reading flow. It would be almost perfect if those were fixed.

Character Development: 8/10
As far as I can interpret it, Angelo is shown to be struggling with the conflict of resorting to extreme violence than necessary, which resonates with the city he is living in and already gives him an opportunity for a character development. I like it; it aligns with his external and internal conflict. It also establishes him to have the helper kind of flaw. Since I just read several of the first chapters, I’m not going to be too speculative on this. I do find it hard to believe in his strength that he can take down multiple men and a fight club champion in one swoop when all we’re given is that he’s a taekwondo master. Let the readers see the gruelling training he has undergone to achieve that much power.

Creativity & Originality: 3/5
I don’t think many mafia genres, or because I don’t generally read them, incorporate the reality of mafia worlds into their worlds because most of them would just be about romanticizing them. I also give it a really big point because it’s not common to see in stories that an everyday, common man is thrusted into the world of danger instead of the rough childhood who grew up in a rough similar neighborhood which is what stories usually build their protagonists up. A fresh take with the additional reality-check component of the story. I do think that the mafia structures need a little touch up to amplify the creativity of the story like, what new elements can be added to their world/community that make them stand out among the other typical mafia genre gangs. Characters entering fight clubs to enhance their strength has also become a common trope. Not saying I don’t like it, but I think there are better action scene formats that let the protagonist display a huge part of their strength.

Emotions: 7/10
I really like that even the side characters, John and Louise, have deep background stories that struck a heartstring. The depth of the brutality behind it makes it emotional. I really love the protagonist’s main objective is centered on his mother, which is something you do not see everyday in a strong man in stories usually motivated by revenge or a lover, but here, we can see Angelo is a mama’s boy and it openly shows there’s nothing to be ashamed of a character label like that, adding more emotional depth to his goals and the pain he is going through. However, there is a dire need for an interaction between them or at least Angelo interacting with his mother in the hospital for readers to get a glimpse of how their relationship is presented. The violence behind the fight scenes are also kindling emotional senses there.

Total: 74/100

Almost all the story elements are great. What really brought it down was the frequent presence of grammatical errors and how much the inconsistencies and unnatural components like the dialogue flow made the writing and the characters in some particular scenes feel like it was written by AI.

2. ETERNAL by Xynite_345

Title: 5/5
I do like how the story implies the theme of eternal elements in the universe in both the physical and spiritual worlds when read, of how eternal suffering and eternal peace are pinpointed in the story. It’s coherent with the story and the theme so well done on that.

Cover: 3/5
I like the contrasting colors and minimalistic art, aligning with the sense of eternity the story gives out just by title alone. Although, the title text is overshadowed by this contrast which makes it vague in appearance despite its giant font-size. I also believe the cover can be better by adding a bit more of fantasy or sci-fi elements based on its world components to make the cover more enticing.

Blurb: 2/5
First, the pros include the reason why we should care for the character and the theme centralized around the story, giving us an idea of the story’s direction and what to expect. However, it fell behind the sense of kindling readers’ curiosity: first, the main conflict is not mentioned. Second, there’s no hint at the setting where and when the story will take place. Third, there is the absence of a unique writing proposition, which is the key element in the blurb that gives the readers the main reason why they should consider reading this story out of all the other genres or stories out there with similar elements.

Mechanics: 6/20
I’m sorry but the heavily consistent writing syntax errors had a huge impact on the overall semantics, flow, and understanding of the story. There are often misspelled words, words mistaken with another similar sounding term, broken grammars, the consistent presence of dashes that become tiring and the inconsistent reading POVs, writing format like the dialogue format is underlined in the prologue, among others, and the inconsistent spaces between the paragraphs. I had to read most of the paragraphs two to three times to get a meaning out of them but only found words crumpled together. Try as I might to reread the paragraphs, I’m afraid I really do not understand most of what the paragraphs are trying to convey. And if I did, it just goes on to repeat the same message about people honed from hardship turning to become morally ambiguous people to avenge what they lost, in general. The writing style gave me a feeling it was heavily inspired by manhwa/manga storytelling styles, and it may be that the writer is trying to go for the purple prose of writing, which may exactly be the root cause behind this writing flaw: though both mediums tell a story, there is still a clear line between telling a story through visual mediums and through words alone which gave me the impression this is more like writing a screenplay for a movie or manhwa than telling a story through a novel. And that writers should always be aware of the boundary of reality between the writer’s writing and what they’re trying to imply (tone) and what the readers may interpret/understand from their writing (mood). Of the boundary where writers are aware that maybe they’re getting too lost/out of touch in their writing that they forget to consider the possible meanings it may bring to the readers or consider themselves to be in the shoes of the readers when they read it because remember, the readers can range from people wholly different from the writers and are individuals with different, anonymous backgrounds. Also, it is not a practice to add emojis when it comes to writing stories. This is the area that should be primarily focused on because it really affected how the story was understood. Do avoid putting in dictionary components there as well because most of the terms are actually known by most readers, and the presence of these ‘dictionaries’ may come off as annoying because the book is telling them what common readers already know the meaning of a term, in exception to the Indios term, making the chapter count unnecessary lengthy too.

Plot: 12/25
Again, this is mostly affected by the broken writing mechanics so I didn’t understand some of what was happening. I was only able to understand them by the meaning of the words itself rather than the subtle descriptions describing a particular action or place. I do, however, admire the consistent tracking of the characters and the events and how these conflicts align with the story’s theme of being in a morally grey belief. I also got confused when a chapter told of Lucy’s sacrifice, pertaining to her death, from what I interpreted, but in the next chapter she seemed alive and fine? Fixing the writing mechanics will surely fix this too, is all I can recommend for this.

Flow & Pacing: 8/15
In general, the pacing of the story was too fast even for the action scenes. And when it comes to the emotional or self-reflection moments, they’re too slow. Too fast, in which there is a lack of enough reaction moments to action moments like when Lucy suddenly attacks Leonard but Leonard did not have enough time to comprehend what was going on. Too slow wherein the repeated conveyance of a particular subject in the story like Lucy’s origin and the story’s theme keeps on having additional sentences without any sense of progress. There is also a major lack of slow pacing for the characters’ emotional moments to give readers a breathing space to relax and instead get to know the characters and sympathize and empathize with them.

Character Development: 6/10
Establishing the characters’ external and internal conflicts in the first few chapters gives it a big point, giving them an opportunity for growth. What really gave it a major setback was the fact that the main protagonist, Leonard, was wholly passive in the first few chapters, leaving Lucy to do the active actions and steal the spotlight when the blurb declared Leonard to be the main character. He was shown to be rather Lucy’s lap dog than an ally, and there was no further emphasis on his grief on his dead family since the start of their journey, making it appear as if he forgot about that one crucial event that made him set on this journey in the first place. It did significantly compensate, however, for Lucy’s moral ambiguity when it came to saving the family and how she felt guilty over it and I like her line of when she said she’d save many at the expense of a few lives.

Creativity & Originality: 4/5
I like that the protagonist is established to be a father, which is something uncommon, at least for me. I also like the worldbuilding where it gave me the impression of a 19th historic Filipino world under the colonization of the Spanish but with the presence of sci-fi elements with the mecha stuff. It did seem like two wholly different worlds skipping a crucial technological milestone but in considering it as a world itself without comparing it to our world, it’s a pretty awesome world combining 19s aesthetic and pre-existing sci-fi elements. It would be a perfect score if the worldbuilding gave specific details on the culture of the people like their clothes and foods to make the world believable. However, I do think the reincarnation trope is overused and I still haven’t seen any new directions where this trope is going as used in this story.

Emotions: 6/10
The flawed mechanics and frequently fast pacing of the story stripped the reading flow of the need to pause and take a moment to get to know the character more at an adequate depth. The intendedly slow scenes hung on longer than necessary. I do appreciate that the characters were given a deep backstory that gave them a strong resolve to achieve their objectives. It resonated with the emotions expected for readers to feel for the characters, for their origin story, at least. But overall, fixing the fast pacing, writing mechanics, and repetitive formats are the keys to fixing this.

Total: 52/100

The pros I can appreciate in this story was the establishment of the characters’ backstory, how the world they live in strongly supports their resolve and internal conflicts, and the protagonist who began as a father. I’m sorry if I sounded harsh, but writing mechanics (spellings, grammars, etc…) are very critical. If you want to discuss this matter with me, do message me in my message board. If there’s a need to translate it in FIlipino, do let me know, since I think the author is Filipino considering they know the word Indio and read a particular book written in Tagalog in their reading list.

3. When Legends Cross by SpartanCatlord

Title: 5/5
I like it. It aligns perfectly with the direction the story is going for just by reading the blurb and makes for a good hook to read an action-oriented story.

Cover: 5/5
It stays true to the title and main plot of the story as well as the world of pirates the story takes place in. The dim blue colors already greatly set the atmospheric expectation for the story which did not disappoint.

Blurb: 5/5
Enough was already said about the world and characters with just an adequate amount of blurb. It sparks curiosity to want to know the adventures of the characters and the intrigue as well as the presence of a unique aspect of the story where the main perspective is focused on the character who is in a greater power, and is instead feeling actually threatened by an underdog.

Mechanics: 19/20
Not only is the writing syntax clear of any error, the writing style is also neat. I enjoyed it though I do find myself sometimes getting lost on where the character is at a specific point and time and what they look like, making it hard for readers to visualize the characters’ appearance but the descriptions of the world compensate for it.

Plot: 23/25
The plot gives a clear flow of the events that makes readers aware of the sequences of the actions. I did enjoy it with the chain of action, monologue, suspense, the establishment of the characters and the dialogue is so well splayed the elements in the story felt natural. However, the lack of more particular descriptions of where the characters’ positions are with the scarce description of objects in reference to their position gave it a little setback for readers to fully flesh into their current standpoint.

Flow & Pacing: 15/15
Smooth. Easy to go along with. No errors noted and the dialogue and descriptions are laid out in a pretty neat pace, giving it a good reading flow.

Character Development: 10/10
The characters are established very well. Their desires, fears, and misbeliefs are laid out in the first few chapters, allowing it to become open for interpretations for readers on what to expect for the characters and allow them to engage in thinking about what the characters actually need for them to grow.

Creativity & Originality: 3/5
The unique or rare element I find is that the two characters are set in two polar sides: one is from the highest possible position of an official under the law, which is usually assumed to be the ideal principle society should confine to, and the other a mere deckhand from a band of pirates, the presumably bad guys. Building them up to be in these huge contrasting points, but also the way how they were established where the deckhand was the first to break the sheriff’s unbreakable record puts a balance in their power, making them set at equilibrium with each other. I do, however, feel like there’s not one element outstanding enough that makes it distinguishable from the rest of the genres or similar stories.

Emotions: 6/10
In reading the first few chapters, starting off with suspense does make it the main hook to captivate readers and sparing the sentiment for later, and personally, there’s nothing wrong with that. There were also hints given about Arrakas’ backstory where he seemed to come from a noble home, and from his inner monologue, I can interpret that he left it because he wants to prove that he is something more. A great way to connect the readers with the characters, as well as the ambition Def highly upholds, however, I feel like it held back on giving readers enough reasons of why they should care about the characters deeper not just because of what the want but also because of the pain/burden they carry, which I wasn’t able to derive from either of them, at least in the first chapters. But for the general audience, this presence of the character’s pain/burden in the first chapters is a critical essence for them because it subconsciously further hooks them into caring for the characters more.

Total: 91/100

I found myself enjoying it throughout the reading process in the first chapters. There are no flaws overall, but I do feel like it has many potentials it can live up to such as establishing a more distinguished world. Allowing readers to get a glimpse into the characters’ pain could also make it for a more captivating hook in empathizing with the characters, if not sympathize.

4. Hero Villain by xSan_Derx

Title: 2/5
A great title with expectations already set, but I’m sorry to say that the expectations were quite disappointing. This is majorly because of the lack of chapter length, which I will be discussing more at the end of this part of the judging.

Cover: 2/5
The cover is something but the same analysis goes with the title: the cover is incoherent with the story when read because of the short chapter length. The design needs a huge touch-up, and the title does not align with the cover, as it seems to be giving more of a romance vibe instead of an action or anything related to the words ‘hero’ or ‘villain’ for that matter.

Blurb: 4/5
Big points to kindling curiosity in readers by providing them the reason why we should care for the protagonist and giving a unique writing proposition by presenting the concept of automatons and how they only listen to people’s hearts regardless of the differences. It’d be a perfect score when the few spelling mistakes are managed.

Mechanics: 11/20
Frequent spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and the unnecessary exclamation points have a huge drawback in the writing mechanics. The inconsistent spacing and dashes before some lines were also redundant, disturbing the flow of the read.

Plot: 5/25
I’m sorry but that is the best I can really give, considering that the genre is action-focused, there is not one scene about action so it’s a major deduction, I’m afraid. I really was hoping I’d eventually find at least one because of the shortage of the chapters. What compensated for it was that the readers are given a background story for the protagonist. Another big factor for this drawback is the lack of trigger warning about mentions of suicide and abuse. It wasn’t also able to reach into the main conflict where the automatons will be encountered.

Flow & Pacing: 7/15
Again, this is significantly affected by the shortage of the chapters. The pros about the pacing is that it is appropriately slow in the moments where the protagonist is self-reflecting and having an inner monologue, and how almost every instance in his life he can connect it to a dire part of his life, which is well-done and understandable for its slow pace. However, since that’s the only considerable event the chapters have ended, lacking the necessary fast-paced scenes, most importantly the action, to balance the pacing, I’m afraid this is how high I can only give this element of the story.

Character Development: 6/10
One of the few things that compensated for the story was that it takes a dive first into the protagonist’s backstory, allowing readers to have that connection to sympathize and empathize with them. While others may regard it as an edgy story, personally, I think it’s still a great trope to develop a character considering that psychological pain cannot always be fully explained. Silas’ sense of pity is fleshed out and his mind spiralling into dark thoughts also gives it a huge point for me, however, his lack of being an active character also heavily pulls that down due to the shortage of chapters, slow pacing, or it may be intended that way, which is not recommended since characters need to be active for readers to engage with them as soon as appropriately as possible.

Creativity & Originality: 3/5
A big point to introducing right away the unique element of the story, which again, is the automaton and the concept behind it. The backstory of having an abusive childhood can be modified by being further specific on how rough Silas’ childhood was or adding more details that reinforce his rough upbringing. I don’t regard these types of backstories as typical or predictable because these situations tend to actually bring out the bad sides of an individual in various ways. I’m suggesting that the backstory should be more specific and should introduce a unique detail that makes it stand out among the other tragic backstories.

Emotions: 8/10
The biggest compensation for the story was the emotional impact it leaves in its tone. The character making an allegory of the everyday objects and his pain and past experiences allows readers to have deeper insights into Silas’ thoughts, such as the innocence of the children playing in the park. The slow pacing did a good job in this part, but it successfully delivered the intended emotions.

Total: 48/100

The major contributing factor for this score is the absolute lack of action scenes, where this book is participating in a genre contest in, the dire shortage of chapters, the lack of diving into the main conflict, and the absence of trigger warnings. But I see the huge potential it has with how the story is more character-focused and the unique element, the automatons, are mentioned. I suggest learning just the simple essence of storytelling and writing mechanics, then I’m sure this story will be given higher points on these particular narrative elements.

🤺∘─Results of Action─∘🤺

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🥇First Position

When Legends Cross
by SpartanCatlord

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🥈Second Position

The Saga of Mafioso
by JohanLiebert33

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🥉Third Position

Eternal
by Xynite_345

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Congratulations 🎉 to all winners. Keep up the good work. And to those who didn't win, don't lose hope you will win the next time.

Prizes like certificates, stickers and all other will be given at the end.

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We thank everyone who participated in the Visions of Grandeur Awards.
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Time for a tribute to the Judges.

rinaXhazurina

Thanks for your great contribution, we couldn't find any words to describe your hard work and good service.
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