Tyler:
"Babe, you're a babe." The voice on the phone was drunk and it was Tyler. Matt had taken him for a celebratory drink after Tyler had gone through his fiftieth wolf change.
"Thanks," you laughed.
"I'm better than Jacob black, right?" His voice turns serious despite its drunken slur.
"Of course, much cuter," you answered.
"Okay," Tyler laughed.
"But I'm Team Edward forever," you laughed.
"No, that's a sin!" Tyler cried.
"Youd said you'd be back by five and it's eight so I may have to go Team Vampire..." You trailed off.
"Imma on ma way," Tyler slurred. "Screw the vampires, and no not literally that's my job."

Stefan:
"Hiiiiiiiiiii there Y/N!" The voice on the other end of the phone was none other than your boyfriend's: Stefan. And he was quite, scratch that, very drunk.
"Hey Stefan," you answered. It was the late afternoon and you weren't up to much.
"I'm a vampire and I think I killed Bambi this morning..." Stefan's voice got quieter. "And a squirrel which I shall now call Steve. And then a chipmunk asked me my name and I lied, Y/N! I told him it was Joe!"
You bit back a laugh and causally replied. "I'm sure he's okay in Heaven."
"Heaven, what if there's not a Heaven?! Chuck the chipmunk and Bambi and Steve will be in... In oblivion. This is horrid!"
You couldn't help but laugh then. Stefan drunk was hilarious especially right now.
"Why are you laughing?!" Stefan was now hysteric. "They're dead, gone what about Steve's wife?! How will she feed all of the kids and manage the mortgage with him gone, who will earn the money? And Bambi... His boyfriend won't know where he is and he'll look for him and run out in the road and then die too. Then there's Chuck, his little old mum will go and look for him and the weather will turn bad and she'll freeze to death and Y/N, it's a cycle of despair!"
"Stefan, come home and we'll go find Steve's wife and kids, Chuck's mum and Bambi's boyfriend, okay?" You smiled.
"Okay..." Stefan hung up. God, today was going to a long day...

Kol:
"And I-eeeeyyyyyiiiiii will always love yoooooooouuuu!"
You pulled the phone away from your ear, wincing. "Hi to you Kol."
"Work must be boring so I thought I'd make it fun," Kol chuckled from the other end of the line.
"You're drunk." You admired the pencil at your work desk.
"I'm in fun mode, darling."
"Mmmm... Well I best get back to work," you laughed.
"I'm on my way there darling. I'll make you smile and maybe you can have a quick drink." Kol hung up on you.
Your phone vibrated. You looked at your message: a selfie from Kol. In his underpants. Oh god no. Not that you'd mind. But your fifty year old married male boss may have a different mood towards Kol being half naked... And drunk.

Elijah:
"In all my years I have never encountered something so wonderful..." You waited for Elijah to continue. "Jäger bombs. OMG, are they not wonderful?"
"Well that took an unexpected turn," you laughed.
"Mmmm... They are my greatest love," Elijah sighed.
"Well, your second hand love is going to put the phone down now."
"Goodnight, Y/N you will be my last love."
"Yes but at least I won't give you the worst headache ever tomorrow." You hung up on him laughing.

Damon:
"Rose's are red and Violet's are blue, I'm drunk and I want to screw you," Damon sang into the phone.
"Well that was just beautiful." You rolled your eyes.
"Bunnies hop and crowns are meant for queens, I'm Damon and I'm sexy but mean," he continued down the phone. How much bourbon had he drunk? He was an awfully good poet right now though...
"Dogs bark and cats meow, get that hot arse of yours over here now." Loud music played in the background of the phone call. Well then...
"Where is here?" You asked.
"What's that I hear, it was a mouse, I'm drunk in the Salvatore boarding house," Damon slurred. "Y/N, you know you're a dear, so please bring some more beer."
"Who's there with you?" You picked up your car keys.
"'No one but I need my girlfriend to really start the party." And the rhyming stops. Boo.
"Why would I join a drunken Damon?" You stopped at the door.
"Because," Damon chuckled. "Said Damon is dancing around the house shirtless with amazing hip thrusts, it's not a maybe's, it's not a no, your presence is a must."
"Say no more, I'm on my way," you laughed.

Please vote and/or comment xx