Some time ago I had asked a question to my followers, here is the answer in 2 opuses

Good reading

This chapter is located between "Machination" and "The rabbit glade".

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Lan Zhan had just come out after Wei Wuxian. Xichen looked around at everyone in the room. He could not accept what he had just heard. Yet he could not doubt. Baochen had, by his own admission, manipulated Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan and especially HuaiSang. I looked at the latter. He said nothing.

Given his intelligence, which he had managed to hide from everyone, he must have suspected that someone was guiding him.

I still hadn't forgiven him for manipulating me into eliminating Jin GuangYao. I knew he deserved it, but I had hoped for a trial by his peers.

HuaiSang had known me for 18 years. He had been like a younger brother to me. Especially after Nie MingJue's death. I had looked after him, just as I had looked after Jin GuangYao.

They were so different! At least that's what I thought! But if you look at it, they were similar. They were both actors who knew how to hide their feelings and their real faces. Both of them had fooled me!

Meng Yao had used me to establish his power and HuaiSang to carry out his revenge. I felt stupid!

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to center myself to calm down. I couldn't afford to lose my temper. So far, I had managed to keep my cool. I opened them again. HuaiSang was looking at me. He had the same sad eyes, which I had often seen on him lately! Was he regretting what he had done?

When I think about it, for everyone else, he was an incompetent who owed his position only to the death of his brother and the help of the brothers by oath of his brother! What a joke! It was clear that despite the apparent frivolity he had always shown, he was extremely efficient. He had kept his Sect on the same level as the others and ensured its safety! Even though he didn't like wielding weapons, he was a first-rate strategist. As a clan leader, he was second to none.

"I think we've had our fill of revelations for this morning. I suggest we all go back to our lodges. We'll meet again at the meeting this afternoon," said Uncle, then turned to Baochen.

"Friend, I understand why you violated the sacred precincts of our sect and... I forgive you. But in the future I would like it not to happen again... this is the third time a member of your family has done this. Cangse, when she was a disciple, his son Wei Wuxian and you his brother! Your family really doesn't know what to invent to embarrass us!"

Baochen smiled. He bit his lips, you could tell he was holding back from saying something. He simply said...

"Very well QiRen, I will try to keep quiet, but as for my nephew, I can't promise you anything!

"That I know, to my chagrin!!!" Uncle rubbed his goatee. It's true that this one had had some setbacks not long ago!

Uncle left the room followed by SiZhui and Jiang Cheng. HuaiSang turned to me, hesitated and finally left the room too. I greeted Wen Ning and Baochen and did the same. Once I passed the door, I stopped and closed my eyes. The winter sun warmed my face. My complexion was naturally very pale, but at that moment, I think it was even paler.

I didn't really know where I stood anymore.

I had spent almost six months in the cold cave. I had tried to understand how I felt about Meng Yao. From the first time we met, I appreciated his gentleness, kindness and humility. I knew that he was Jin Guangshan's illegitimate child, but it didn't matter to me. He was gentle and helpful, pleasant to talk to... His life had not been easy and I made it a point to soften him up. When YunShen Buzhi was burned and I had to flee, he hid me. He was also the one who helped me to plan his infiltration of the Wen clan. Already at that time I should have understood this double personality that he had! To deceive Wen Ruohan in this way, he had to deploy all his talent as a comedian. To discover his secrets, he had to be clever and cunning! In fact, I should have seen all the talents he had from that moment on. But I didn't want to know! I didn't believe the rumors I had heard about him. I loved being with him. Today when I looked at my brother and Wei Wuxian, I wondered if I had not felt the same way about him? Unfortunately, I would never know the answer to this question.

I opened my eyes again. HuaiSang was standing in front of me. He looked like he had something to tell me. At that moment, I didn't know if I wanted to hear it. But, I probably had no choice!

"Second Brother, I would like to talk to you. I know you are angry with me, but there are some things I need to tell you. Please listen to me.

I really didn't want to. But as always my education took over. I forced myself to answer him.

"Very well, but not here. Come with me.

This was the only way I could save time. I guided him to my workroom. I let him in and invited him to sit down. I took a seat opposite him. The teapot was kept warm on a small brazier. I served him and pushed the cup towards my "guest".

HuaiSang did not leave my eyes! I could read the guilt in it. We hadn't seen each other much in the past few months. During my retreat, I had only gone out once to the summit my brother had organized here. HuaiSang and I had crossed paths, but we had only exchanged small courtesies! Since the Temple, we had never talked about the events that had taken place there! Neither had we talked about it two months ago! I had not wanted to spoil Wangji's wedding. I had preferred to put on a good face. But now it was time for us to put our cards on the table! The discussion promised to be, if not eventful, unpleasant for both of us!

"Second brother, I know I haven't been honest with you. But what could I do? You and Meng Yao were so close! The suspicions I had, you wouldn't have believed them!"

"What do you know?" I asked him.

"Did you believe the rumors about him? Most of them were true, yet you didn't pay attention! It's true, I played you, but it allowed me to observe him. Are you aware that he also used you? Even though he was considerate and protective, he used you and didn't hesitate to deprive you of your powers!"

HuaiSang stretched his face towards me. His eyes were pleading. But, just like Meng Yao in the temple, could I believe him or was he just playing a game on me again?

"How can I still trust you? You manipulated me into killing our Brother.

"He deserved to die! "he cried.

"He killed my Brother! My brother was all I had! We swore we would never be apart! And ... he took him from me and in the most heinous way possible! I don't regret being the one responsible for his death... my only regret is that I had to use you against him!

HuaiSang lowered his head again. He didn't dare to look at me.

"I knew your sense of honor and duty! I knew that if you thought he was breaking his word, you would be implacable! Unlike you who combines wisdom with the sword, I only know how to use letters and the pen as weapons. I am not a man of combat, I know how to orchestrate them but not to lead them. I used you as an armed arm for my revenge. But revenge, I must confess, was not my only reason ... I was jealous of Meng Yao. Jealous that you were so close..." HuaiSang uttered these last words while slowly raising his head.

"Jealous? But I paid so much attention to both of them! Especially to you after your brother's death!"

"You don't understand! I was jealous of the way you looked at him and of your feelings! Did you even realize it? Because he knew it and played with it! Second brother, even though Qin Su was his sister, he was married!!! ...not me!"

HuaiSang lowered his head. What was he trying to tell me?

"Lan Huan, I love you like your brother loves Wei Wuxian! That's why I was jealous of Meng Yao!

I stared at him in incomprehension. What had he just said? That he loved me as Wangji loved Wuxian?

I stood up. I could not accept what he had just said! I turned my back on him. How could I react to such a statement? It was impossible. I heard him stand up in turn.

"Second Brother, I told you what I had to tell you! I know you never suspected and I don't ask anything in return. Just to understand why I did what I did! I know that I am wrong and I assume it. I also know that I hurt you and that you can probably never forgive me. But you had to know. I won't try to see you again except at our official meetings, don't worry! I'll leave you. And once again, forgive me for the hurt I caused you... if you can.

I heard him walk away. I half turned and saw tears streaming down his cheeks as he left the room with his shoulders and head down.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)