"What is going on here?" Pomona Sprout cried, her voice distant as though coming from the other end of the castle. "Potter, Malfoy, get up this instant!"

Spurred into action by the order, Potter struggled to get up, squirming on top of Draco and in the process shoving his hand more firmly against Draco's crotch.

Draco yelped and growled, "Stop groping me, Potter!" 

Laughter broke out at his words and Draco's cheeks flushed.

"Says the idiot who's fondling my arse!" Potter whispered furiously. 

Embarrassed, Draco tried to free his hand but all he managed to do was grip Potter's buttocks harder. It was Potter's turn to yelp and he did so loudly, bucking and squirming, undoubtedly trying to knock off Draco's hand. If Draco hadn't been so utterly mortified, he would have found Potter's behaviour hysterical. Potter was making things worse by squirming; the sight of them must have looked terribly wrong. Draco groaned and hit the back of his head against the floor, hoping he'd manage to knock himself unconscious. 

"Really now," Sprout said, sounding scandalized. 

Potter squirmed harder and Draco groaned again. "Stop that, Potter. Honestly, is this doing something for you? Go find someone else to molest."

Potter stopped struggling and glared down at Draco instead.

"This is your fault," Potter accused, his eyes narrowing.

Surprised, Draco noted that Potter didn't have his glasses; they must have fallen off as Potter landed on top of him. Potter looked strange without them; his myopic glare wasn't as threatening and convincing as it usually was. He looked like a kicked puppy, the image amplified because of the rope tied around his neck. 

Draco cocked his head and eyed the tight knot. "I bet if I twist just right, I could choke you to death," he pondered out loud.

"I bet if I squeeze hard enough, I could damage your precious manly equipment," Potter retorted and pushed his left hand a little higher up.

An undignified squeak escaped Draco's mouth and, not knowing what else to do, he quickly retaliated by squeezing Potter's arse savagely. Potter didn't make a sound, but he shut his eyes tightly, his head falling down in the crook of Draco's neck. In the next second they separated and gasped in horror, desperately trying to free themselves. 

"Relashio!" Sprout cried.

Draco nearly shouted in relief, expecting them to be freed, but no such thing happened. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sprout shake her wand and clear her throat before she tried again.

"Relashio!" she said firmly, but the ropes didn't budge.

Draco shut his eyes in misery. Merlin, he would die here; squished to death by Harry Potter's trollish weight.

"Let me try," a brisk voice said.

Draco's eyes snapped open. "No, not her!" he cried. "Don't you point your wand at me, Granger!"

Granger blinked at him and lowered her wand a little. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were having a good time. Should I leave you to it, then?"

"No!" Potter yelled, obviously distressed. "Please, Hermione, do try."

Draco rolled his eyes. Potter addressed her as though she was the answer to all his prayers.

"Oh, I'm having loads of fun, can't you tell?" Draco said sarcastically.

Granger's mouth twitched. "I can see that. I suppose that otherwise you'd remove your hand from Harry's arse."

"I can't, you idiot mu — ah, person," Draco wheezed as Potter pressed his hands against his balls again.

"Are you sure, Malfoy?" Granger asked, grinning.

"Yes, I'm bloody sure!" Draco snapped. "See?" He pulled his hand sharply and the ropes inexplicably released it.

Draco looked at his freed hand in shock. "Er, Professor Sprout's spell must have worked partially. Good job, Professor." He grinned at Sprout, trying to avoid looking at Potter's suspicious gaze and Granger's amused one. Students around them were giggling ceaselessly. Draco noticed tears of laughter running down Weasley's red face. "Maybe you should try again," Draco said quietly and then added, "Not you!" when Granger pointed her wand at them.

However, the spell had already rushed toward them, the piercing whoosh of it electrifying the air. The spell was as powerful as they get, but the ropes remained unimpressed.

"Hmm," Granger commented.

"Neville, dear," Sprout said sweetly. "Go and fetch Professor Flitwick, would you? He should be in the staffroom."

Chuckling, Longbottom nodded and left, but not before winking knowingly in Draco's direction.

Draco scowled at his back, then looked up at Potter and scowled again. "Would you mind getting off, Potter?"

Potter's eyes widened comically and Draco cried, "Get off me!" He pushed up just as Potter pushed down and they rolled together until Potter landed on his back and Draco's mouth hit Potter's chest with an "Omph!" of surprise. Using his free arm, Draco quickly pushed himself away, but he couldn't get very far. Potter was still gripping Draco's thigh and Draco's right hand was stuck beneath Potter's back. Draco was forced to lie on his side, struggling to keep his head up and prevent it from leaning onto Potter's shoulder as it clearly wanted.

"Get up, you two!" Sprout said exasperatedly as the entire hallway roared with laughter.

"Maybe we should try to cut the ropes with a knife." Pansy's voice rose above the noise.

Draco hoped no one heard her.

"There's an idea," Potter said promptly and grinned at Draco, then at his hand between Draco's thighs.

Draco stared at his crotch, horrified by the thought of someone going near it with a knife. Surprisingly, Granger came to his rescue.

"A mere knife won't work," she said, "but maybe a very powerful blade. Oh, I know! We could try using the Sword of Gryffindor!"

Draco paled in horror.

"That wouldn't work, Miss Granger," Sprout said, sounding surprised that Granger didn't know that. "Incarcerous can only be broken by the Relashio Charm."

Granger, the horrid girl, burst out laughing. "I know! Oh, Malfoy, you should have seen your face."

"I hate you all," Draco grumbled, miserable.

"Well, not me, obviously," Potter said, sounding amused. "Since you're hugging me so tightly and all."

Draco looked at him sharply, feeling oddly betrayed by Potter's behaviour. Honestly, Potter should have been as upset as Draco was, not ready to laugh with everyone else.

Sprout appeared directly next to them and pointed her wand at Draco's nose. "Up. Both of you. Now!" she said sharply with an uncharacteristically annoyed expression on her face.

Potter stopped grinning and they both struggled to get up, Sprout's unexpected ire sufficiently encouraging. Granger hovered next to them, biting her lip as though worried, but Draco suspected she was merely trying not to laugh too much. 

"Do you need a hand, Harry?" she asked.

"Yes, do you, Potter?" Draco growled. "You could touch me in so many more places."

Potter glared at him and then looked at Granger and shook his head. "We'll manage," he said stoutly, but stupidly, because Draco believed they would not, in fact, manage without assistance. He sneaked a glance at Pansy, but she quickly turned her head and pretended not to notice him. Her behaviour was hardly surprising — Draco knew she didn't dare to go near Potter.

Granger refused to give up. "Maybe I could Levitate . . ." She trailed off and shuffled her feet after Potter threw her a nasty glare.

"Come on!" Potter growled under his breath, trying to pull Draco upwards.

However, the only way they could get up was if Draco sat up first and pulled Potter with him. He did so, reluctantly, almost ending up with a lap full of Potter. 

Potter jerked away and almost choked himself.

"Bad doggy." Draco snickered.

Potter looked murderous — possibly psychotic — and fearing retaliation, Draco redoubled his efforts to get up. 

It wasn't an easy feat. They pulled on the ropes and Potter choked as Draco whimpered, but eventually they righted themselves and stood up awkwardly. Draco's right arm was still wrapped firmly around Potter's waist and Potter's hand was by then a familiar presence on Draco's thigh. Their position wasn't as bad as it had been when they were lying down, at least not until Draco's feet got tangled in the ropes. He flailed and clutched Potter's hip but eventually lost his balance and stumbled forward.

Potter yelled in surprise, but didn't fall as Draco smashed into him; instead, he used his free arm to catch Draco around the waist, preventing him from sliding back down to the ground. As Draco's forehead pressed against Potter's shoulder and their arms wrapped around their bodies in a firm embrace, the hallway resonated with shrieks of laughter and occasional whistles.

Draco pressed his eyes against Potter's shirt and wished the ground would open and swallow them.