In the cold of the early Saturday, I asked Ryan what he wanted.

"Just get ready and open the door. I need your help."

I sat down on the edge of my bed staring at the window. The sky was still dark. Did I want to go? "Nah. I think I'll stay inside."

I heard a sharp breath. "You serious?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I'm serious. I'm not moving an inch."

Of course, this was a lie. I was already packing my backpack with my sketch book and some pencils in a plastic bag. I swapped my pyjamas for another baggy T-shirt with yet another pun on it and jumped into my jeans. I was slipping on my boots when I heard a fake sigh. "What do you want if you come help me?"

I thought for a minute. "Dippin Spots." I closed the door of my house as soon as I said Dippin.

He laughs. "O-kay. You come with me right now and I'll get you ice cream next week."

"Nah. I say we go right now. Open the car door," I said, smiling at Ryan in the driver's seat. "Where we goin'?"

In the early morning, the street lamps gave Ryan almost a halo above his head and it was almost comical. Ryan with a halo? Ha. I placed my bag on the floor of the car and hopped in.

Ryan gave me a knowing smile. "Didn't you want ice cream?"

"Mm-hm. But I feel like there's a catch here somewhere. " I took out my sketchbook and a pencil. I singsonged while tapping the end of the pencil to my forehead. "I ain't that stupid- Ow!"

Smooth, Julianna. I thought while rubbing my eye. I was laughing when I caught a whiff of Channel. My head snapped up a lot faster than I could close my mouth.

As nonchalance as I could I put a pencil in my hair while saying, "So, Christina was in here..."

I imagined Ryan gripping the wheel. "That's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about."

I reached for the door handle. What was I thinking? What- "You know, I think I'll miss out on the ice cream. I've been craving but I'll live."

"Wait. Julianna. I- I just need someone to talk to- someone other than my uncle. I was hoping you would hear me out but," Ryan sighs and I look at him as he fidgets with his phone on his lap. "I understand if you leave and tell me it's wrong of me to...ask that...of...you. "

Was it wrong? "Nah. Don't worry about it. We're cool. If you need to vent to me, go ahead. Your uncle has done a lot for me so it's okay. I'm all ears."

Ryan gave a guilty look. "Are you sure?"

I nodded.

Ryan pulled away from the curb and started driving. "We're going to the aquarium and we'll find your Dipping Spots there."

"Are they even open at this time?" I asked him, giving him a look.

He smiled and shrugged. "Ever been to 'Scales'?"

I shook my head but a flash of a commercial zipped through my head. "Uh. Is it the one that's opened to tourists 24/7 by the boardwalk?"

"Yeah." A moment of silence. All I heard was my breathing and the car accelerating.

I was playing with the corners of my sketchbook when I spoke up. "So, about Christina. Why- what happened?"

Ryan paused like he was thinking of how to word it. He had his eyes on the road but he gestured like he was going to say, "Well."

I felt like he didn't have the courage to say it so did I really want to push it? I didn't have to make a choice. He did it for me.

"Christina called me. Drunk. She went to a party with Jesus. She calls me, telling me how Jesus was talking to the guys about another girl and wanted me to take her home. I tried getting someone else to take her but no one answered."

I nodded. Great. "So, you ended up driving her home."

"Yeah," He sounded defeated.

"And she did something that made you upset when you did."

"Check me out, Julianna. I'm an open book."

I gave him a laugh. "What did she do? Mention another guy?"

"She says, 'I just knew you'd show up. You always do. All I have to do is cry on the phone and you're here.' Then, she laughed. Then, she kept saying,'Whoo. Aren't I lucky to have a guy like you at my beck and call! A personal Uber!' Really helps me out here." Ryan stops at a red light and looks at me.

I rolled the window down to hear the sea. We're almost by the beach. By just looking at the water the memories of the familiar feeling of the sand and the shockingly cool water hitting my ankles brought a smile to my face.

"I mean. I know she was right but, because of Unc, I know that it should bother me. It does. As soon as she said it, I wanted to tell her I wasn't going to do that anymore. I was just doing that one favor because I was a good person." Ryan parked the car and reached behind my chair for a jacket.

He waited until I opened my door to open his and then locked the car behind us.

"So it's finally come to your attention how much you do for her," I taunted him, trying to see his reaction. "I'm sorry to say this Ryan but you really do a lot for her even though she doesn't feel the same way back. I understand you guys were close and guys do a lot for their best friends anyway but at some point, we all knew it's gotten a lot farther than that."

"I know it's obvious. Trust me." He laughs and gives me a fake wounded look. "Gees, Julianna. A guy that pours his heart out about his girl problems doesn't get the benefit of the doubt with you, does he?"

I suddenly felt very guilty. "I'm sorry. I know it's been a long time with you liking her but it is the truth."

"Is that what you think?"

I blinked. "Huh?"

"You think I can't get over her because it's been so long?"

"Um. Yeah."

"Julianna. I haven't thought about Christina like I used to since...you came over-"

"And we almost kissed."

I wanted to slap myself. Julianna. Ever heard of awkward silence? Of course, you have. You're the one that brought it here.

Ryan looked out in front of us. "Exactly." He was blushing. I was flaming but tried to keep my cool.

We shared a look. You say you won't bring it up and you do anyway.

It was when we reached the doors of the walk through aquarium that I realised I left my backpack in the car. How am I supposed to pay for my ticket now? What use is my wallet in the car? I suddenly felt very guilty if Ryan bought my ticket for me. Would he still pay for the ice cream? There's no way I'd let him do both. "Ryan, forget the aquarium. I forgot my wallet-"

"Okay. Then come with me." Ryan was looking passed the aquarium doors. He had his hand held out.

"Uh." I stared at it dumbly.

Ryan was leaning forward and his smile was getting bigger. He motioned to hurry and take his hand- all without looking at me.

For some reason, time felt a lot slower than it was before. The last time I was with a guy alone-

I stepped around Ryan, faking a smile. "Going to get my promised ice cream? Let's go, Ryan."

I hated myself.

Even more so when Ryan wasn't smiling anymore. "Yeah. Ice cream. That's where we were heading anyway."