Now Ryan heard everything and he's been giving me weird looks since he has.

Aren't I just the life of the party?

Ryan was slowly progressing what I had uncovered about myself. "So, that's why the cops came. So you let the rest of the school assume that they were going to arrest you? So that people could stay away from you?"

I locked eyes with him. His reaction tugged at my heartstrings. I muttered loud enough for him to hear in the quiet home of Gray and Ryan Miles. "I sat back and let the rumours do what they are known for, Ryan."

Ryan stared at me for the longest time. If I was being honest, my throat felt like it was closing up on itself and I tried to swallow without anyone noticing. Ryan was still looking at me and I pulled on my hair. I knew I looked horrible. My eyes were puffy and my nose was probably as red as my eyes were. I lowered my gaze from Ryan but even when I did, I shifted uncomfortably. I could still feel his stare.

"Can you stop that..." I whispered to him, looking down at my hands on my lap.

"I knew you were hiding something," Ryan muttered. He gripped his hair while looking up to the ceiling troubled with his eyes unfocused. "God, Julianna, I knew back when you told me the rough details it was bad and I knew I shouldn't push the matter further, but when you break down like that and freak out, I start to freak out-"

"Ryan." Grey cut in.

"-and I knew I shouldn't ask around because it wasn't anyone's business and they would probably start rumors again but it killed me sometimes when I would drift off to wonder what the hell happened to you and, Julianna, I'm still wondering why it occupied my thoughts so much but, I mean, working together kinda makes us friends and I don't know if you want to be my friend because I totally get it if you don't, I mean, I wouldn't hold it against you, I'm pretty bad sometimes-"

"Ryan." I almost laughed. So he rambles.

"Huh?" Ryan cut off his rant to look at me long enough to see my small smile. "What did I say?"

"S-Stop rambling." I smiled and looked off to the side to stop it from spreading across my face but the questions were: what did he not say? I sighed into the quietness of the house, a whisper of a smile left on my face. "Look. I'm not going to say I'm alright because that would be a lie but I will say that I'm dealing with my problems just like any other teenage kid. I've got it covered. No need to worry 'bout little ol' me."

Ryan fumed. I could see it. I angered him. What did I say wrong?

"Are you serious? Julianna! You just- I saw you- Are you being serious right now?" Even with his anger showing through his words, Ryan never raised his voice. He kept it levelled at the same volume.

I felt a flame form with that spark. "What do you mean 'Am I serious'? You think this is all just some act? Why do you care anyway?" My voice cracked as I asked but I cleared my throat hoping he wouldn't notice. "I've been going to school with you for years and all of a sudden you're going to care about me because you saw me have one of my minor panic attacks?"

Grey spoke up with his pointer finger aimed at me. "If I may, Ryan didn't know you before. As I've said, his world only revolves around one person."

I shrunk a little in Grey's words. I knew that already. He didn't have to remind me.

Ryan gave a side glare at his uncle but it didn't have as much anger behind it like the look he had given me when he asked if I was serious. Ryan sighed and surprised all of us when he looked up at the ceiling, turned around, and left.

I looked at Grey. Then I turned away shocked.

Grey gave me a sad smile. "Ryan doesn't get angry easily but I can tell you, as someone who's been by his side his entire life, Ryan is mad at himself for not seeing any of this sooner."

Is he blaming himself? For what?

Stacy rubbed my back in a soothing manner and I had to breathe in really slowly to keep the tears that were forming at bay.

"Hun, I understand when you say you've dealt with this before, albeit all alone for the past four years, but now you have Ryan, his uncle and I here. You can trust us enough with when you feel uncomfortable like this or overwhelmed. You can't bottle that up inside."

I gave her a watery smile. Her voice was enough to put me to sleep. It sounded so safe and caring, and.... Motherly-like.

I thanked Grey and Stacy again and again for being there for me. Stacy kept telling me she couldn't believe the life I've been through. I kept telling her I'm okay, they helped with being okay. From there, I was keeping my breathing even, listening to the random conversation between Grey and Stacy, laughing when Stacy made a mess in the kitchen and called Grey.

"This woman." Grey smiled before he went over to see what happened.

When I calmed down enough, I realised Ryan never came back...

I checked my phone. It was way past twelve o'clock.

"I'm going to talk to Ryan." I popped my head in the kitchen to see Grey and Stacy staring into each other's eyes and smiling. Grey was leaning back into Stacy and I had to keep myself from... from...

I dunno! I didn't know whether I should scream or laugh or cry but I ducked out really quickly before I could interrupt anything else. I was giggling to myself as I opened the door and bumped into something.

Um. Ouch.

"Julianna." Ryan laughed. "Why are you laughing at yourself?"

I closed the door and grabbed Ryans hands from my shoulders where he saved me from falling and squeezed. "I walked in on a kiss between Stacy and Grey! Oh my goodness, I am so happy right now, Ryan! Do you know how long I've wanted to find someone for your uncle? And he chooses Stacy?"

I'm just fangirling and the smile on my face could put any happy child to shame.

"You don't approve?"

"Are you kidding?" I almost squeezed the life out of his hands, but seriously doubted it. Ryan was strong. "I have viewed them as my parents ever since I met them! So, obviously, I shipped them," I giggled.

Ryan pulled one of his hands from mine to rub his forehead in confusion. "Why is it that it's when I leave.." Ryan looked back down at me, squeezed my hand and gave me a smile. "You're really happy aren't you?"

I nodded. "He did it. He kissed her."

I put up my free hand and put up two fingers.

Ryan's eyebrows furrowed. "Peace?"

Twice, I mouthed. If I had done it any other way, I think I would have screamed it to the world.

Ryan started to laugh and I let another chuckle slip. His eyes gleamed as he looked at me.

"I'm happy for them."

"Me too."

"That made my night."

"It made my life."

Squeeze. "I'm sorry I just left like that. You were telling me something extremely personal and I just left."

"It's fine. Trust me. Don't worry about it."

"I can't believe you experienced that."

"Still livin'."

"You're incredibly strong, Julianna."

"God, I hope so."

"Fire and Gold" blasted from my phone and I blushed a deep shade of scarlet. When I had to step back from Ryan in order to get my phone from my pocket, I realised I jumped extremely close to him out of excitement. I muttered an apology.

I picked up the phone. "OK. Darling-"

Darling?!?

"-the stepdaughter picked up!" I hear Amy whisper. A bunch of people who I guessed was her fashion team was muttering a string of curses. I almost hung up.

"Listen, Julianna, I have the team over and we are going to take pictures of the clothes here before we show them to Gabriel. Now, if you're not going to be home, seeing as to how you probably avoided me because I might tell your father about that phone call I got today, just make sure you stay out until tomorrow morning. We don't need to worry about you showing up in the background of our shot. Come tomorrow if you need anything for school." With that, it seems that I've taken up too much of her time that she had just dismissed me.

I hung my head and felt the familiar feeling of tears. "Yeah. Okay then-"

Before I knew it, my phone was snatched from my hands.

"Hey," Ryan yelled. I jumped, startled at the raise of his voice. Everything inside me rattled and I wanted to hide. "Listen. I don't know what you just said but I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to Julianna that way! I can't even begin to tell you how horrible it is to hear the way she talks about you. What kind of a parent are you?"

I grabbed the phone from Ryan, hung up, and started yelling. The start was soft but as I realized what happened, I started going hysterical. "Ryan! Do you know what you just did? She's going to give me hell! S-She's going to throw away the stuff I kept of my mother! She's going to throw away my art stuff! Oh. I need to get home. I need to get home."

He stayed still and quiet. Ryan was watching my every movement and was looking me in the eyes. "You need to be quiet," Ryan whispered.

"Excuse y-"

Everything was silent. Ryan was so close to me that he trapped me up against the screen door and sealed my lips with his.

Why didn't I push him away?

I, Julianna B. Jones, was kissing Ryan Miles back.

Or that's what you would've liked me to say, right?