Mukta was shocked when suddenly Arjun collapsed infront of her. She hurriedly got up and tried to wake up him. She put on her clothes hurriedly and sprinkled some water on his face. She started to rub his hands and after some times he opened his eyes and looked her.

She made him sit and helped him to wear his clothes. She insisted to go to doctor because she was horrified to see him like that.
"Arjun... come on get up... we have to go to doctor..."

"No... i am fine... don't freak out..."

Arjun POV

Darkness consumed my vision like always but today i felt if someone pulled me back. I could feel the hot breathe on my face... i could feel the sweet yet worried voices and i could feel the drops something cold and hot both.

I opened my eyes and caressed my face. My face was wet. Mukta was looking me with wet eyes. So the hot drops were her tears and i thought she sprinkled water on my face. I smiled towards her softly. She was worried for me... she was caring wife... i was feeling very happy to see her this side for me...

She wanted to go to doctor but i denied because i already knew the reason. I was again having a panic attack. It was as usual for me. Whenever my emotions escalated to some extent i started to have these type of attacks. But hell it was embarrassing for me that it happened infront of her. The mafia king Arjun Verma couldn't control himself infront of a mere girl. Now she got about my weakness which i didn't let anyone to know except my therapist.

She was looking me with tears in her eyes. i pulled her in my arms despite of my throbbing headache and kissed her lightly and tried to make the moment funny,
"Its really nothing... believe me... just give me some medicine from my drawer... "

She got up instantly and gave me the medicine box. She was trying to see yhe name of drug but i hurriedly closed the medicine kit and gulped the tablet with water.

I wanted to overcome from that embarrassment but nothing spontaneous came in my mind to ease the situation... i knew that i was talking stupid.
"My dear... don't worry i was just slept for some moments..."

She looked me if i grew horns on my head. I knew i was talking bullshit.
"Arjun are you getting hurt on your head... or you think me stupid... damnit you passed out infront of my eyes... i am worried...." she replied in frustration.

She was shivering and i could feel that. I didn't want her this much weak. I wanted to see her strong woman because she was mafia princess. My wife had to bear all the burnt of this cruel world and a fragile heart couldn't survive here.

I wanted to divert her mind so i asked again,
"So Mukta Arjun Verma... i asked you if you can forget my wrong deeds with you... "

She looked for some moments and replied,
"I think i already forgot Arjun Verma that's why i am here with you and still i didn't kill you ...."

I was confused if i had to be happy or feel anger because my dark part could be relieved by her answers but the good samaritan Arjun Verma could never be happy for her let go attitude. She awaken the old Arjun Verma inside me for some moments.

She looked me and said,
"Don't be confuse Arjun... i can't forget all things but i am somewhat relieved from my fears now... you are not that much bad... i loathed you because i thought you killed my father and snatched everything from me but when Das told me that you didn't killed him but someone else so there was no point to hate you for what you didn't do... if i lost my heaven that day... you also lost your only one family... your father so your pain... your anger was justified because your father killed by my father bullet... i don't know why father wanted to kill you... but i think someone messed up our lives really badly... he destroyed you and me... he destroyed us... only he made you monster... "

She paused for moments and spoke again, what was she saying that i didn't kill her father? But how could this possible... i remember i shot him...was seeing her and my breathe was stuck in my throat,
"You remember Arjun you were the only one whom i called my friend because you were so possessive and obsessed with me that you never let anyone came close to me... i was like a favorite toy for you for playing but with time you started to change because you got new friends and new world when you grew up ... but what was my mistake in that Arjun... you started to ignore me like you threw all your soft toys because you thought yourself as big boy... and according to you and your friends soft toys were not your things anymore... i left alone because earlier none dared to be close due you and now they didn't want to be friends with a outcast small girl like me... " she sighed and i felt if someone threw me in pit of guilt. My childhood behavior caused her so much pain and i never thought about that.

She looked me and said,
"Don't think if i want you make guilty... i just wanna tell you... we never talk this much so i just want to open my heart infront of you... may be i get my little Arjun back... so you left after your mother death and never tried to see me again... you were angry on me... you hated me and i tried to reach you through the cards and gifts... but i was just unfortunate so i lost my mother  and also lost my happiness... i turned into a meek scared girl for rest of my life... i couldn't be social and friendly to anyone... i knew people mocked me behind my back because of my weird and submissive behavior... but my father inspired me to be strong enough for myself... i didn't need anyone else... i  was trying to be happy soul when suddenly you came back and snatched my every hope... once again you showed me your obsession for me but in different way. This time you wanted to break me totally... i tried to run away from you... but it seems you are in my destiny..  you made me your toy once again... but this time you didn't leave me able to anything... anyone... whenever and wherever i will go... i will only have you in my mind... you trapped my body and soul... i don't know if this is called love or my obsession for you but Arjun Verma i am yours to break... i am only yours to heal... in everything... i don't have anyone else in my life just because of you... and just like you i am obsessed with you..."

She stopped and took deep breath... i was stilled at my place after hearing her words. I was agreed that i broke her but i never thought that her life could be stuck with me like that... now i was feeling helpless and trapped in guilt and i could get rid of that guilt if i could give her a happy life. If she was the reason of my damage then i also was the reason of her broken self.... i was feeling disgusting on myself. I lusted over her.... she shouldn't be the object of my physical pleasure. She deserved someone more better then me. I recalled how i used to hate if i ever heard our parents jokingly teased me on marriage with her... i could be her best friend... i could think myself like her older brother but back then i could never imagine her as a couple with me... it was creepy for me but now what i did... i robbed her innocence and forgot about all the respect and love i had for her....

I made her tainted... and i was feeling so much disgusting... how did i touch her... how did i get blind....

*********

Ok friends so it was a long update i know...

I know some of you will get confused over Arjun sudden guilt trip but i will give insight and reason of his behavior in next chapter....

Till then Please read and comment

Please please please comment...

I want to talk with you guys more and more... so come out from your silent zone....

*********