The minute she left the room I told the girl to leave, cursing myself for causing Brianna any hurt. It wasn't my intention, I was only there for some release, only the gods know the tension that has been building over the last week or so. I am still a man, and there are some days that it builds to a breaking point, especially when she is around me. It was her scent mostly, that goddamn smell of roses and vanillas, I can't get it out of my head. It lures you in with intoxicating euphoria.

Once the girl realized I wasn't interested in our plans anymore she left the room with a short slap to my cheek. Yes I probably deserved that, it wasn't fair to her to be picturing someone else while you get off on another.

"Asshole." I whisper to myself as I walk the halls in search of Brianna. We need to get some things out in the air, we have both been holding back and maybe it is time to set some boundaries. Not like they would do any good, but at least I could apologize for my behavior. And maybe she could apologize for hers, it's not easy watching Vance with her. I just hope she is willing to talk, who knows what she had just been through with the life tree. But from the blood splattered across her armor and face, I can only tell it wasn't a clean fight and both sides had lost.

It still astonishes me knowing a woman so capable of defending herself in every aspect. I turn left down a hallway and bump into Garrett who is fiddling with a strange trinket covered in Druidic symbols.

"Kit Mercer! What brings you here? Are you lost?" He asks.

"Aha...no...well maybe, I am looking for Brianna."

He cocks an eye at me still fiddling with the trinket.
"Oh really, she asked that no one see her."

"Damn." I whisper, running a hand through my hair.

"That being said, I WON'T tell you that she is in the observatory." He smiles and winks.

I grin back.
"Thanks buddy." I reply and pat his shoulder as I walk by.

"Oh, Vance has been looking for her too, should I not tell him where she is as well?"

"Not even a hint." I reply. We need some time to get through some things without interruption.

"Good luck! She is not at all with it right now." He says waving his hand as he continues down the hall.

Not with it?
Great, that can mean a couple things, she either got the sense knocked out of her, or she's drunk. I gather my wits, and take a chance carrying on down the fire lit halls.

It wasn't long before I found the observatory, and when they say observatory they really mean it. This room was built in the shape of a star, with each point connecting to some of the major constellations in the sky. It being dusk, they are starting to peak out over the velvet sky as the sunlight disappears into the horizon. I bring my eyes to the black marble floor, polished so precariously it seems to create a mirror image of the sky, looking as if you were on slick ice. And there she is lying in the middle of it all looking up into the coming night.

"Go away!" She snaps, flipping me a middle finger.

I chuckle to myself, I will always love that hard edged attitude.

"Brianna." I begin and hear her breath hitch, then a cough and sputter as smoke pours from her mouth. "Uhhh...are you ok?...is that...skunk weed you're smoking?"

"Maybe...or it could be the coldness pouring from your heart, you brought in when you entered the room." She replies sarcastically. Ouch.

"Hey now, let's be nice...Is it any good?" Now I haven't smoked in awhile, and it would be nice to let loose if she is willing to share.

She turns over onto her stomach, her legs kicking over multiple empty bottles as she stares up at me.
"You smoke?" She asks, eyes glazed over. What a sight for a queen to be in, I am thankful Vance isn't here to see this, he would have a fit.

"Do you?"

She laughs.
"What do you think?"

Of course she does, Jed has a permanent look of smoking skunk weed on the daily, she must have partaken at some point in her life.

"May I join you? Or am I going to lose a limb?"

She laughs.
"Which is your "good" hand." She asks making quotation marks on the word good with her fingers.

"My right." I reply, waiting for another sarcastic lash back.

"Huh...really? I find it quite lazy actually, especially when using daggers." She replies in an undermining tone.

"Is that so? Well maybe as your official trainer I should show you what these hands can do." And the tension in the room fades as I walk towards her.

"My official trainer?  For what? The art of seducing younger breeds?"

Breeds? Double ouch, damn skunk weed makes her tongue even sharper than usual.

I shake my head and lay down beside her. She turns onto her back staring directly at the stars avoiding any type of eye contact. I sigh.

"Brianna, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." She interrupts.

"No, let me finish." I reply in an even tone.

She sighs and flicks her hand, which I am guessing that means to carry on.

"I am a man you know, I have needs such as yours. And if you keep walking into the room every day looking like Aphrodite I am going to have to do something about it."

She laughs.
"I most definitely do not look like a goddess, let's be real here."

"To me you do. I have never seen a woman grab the attention of an entire room before." I reply, and that was the honest truth.

I look over to her, she is still staring at the stars, nervously chewing on her bottom lip ...silently. I look up at the stars joining her view, it really was something out here and she takes another toke from her weed and passes it over. I take a big hull off it and let the feeling wash over me.

"You don't have to be sorry, I understand. I also understand why you hide your feelings from me. I get it, it is not your place and it is not mine. We are both on separate paths." She says breaking the silence, she sits up and finds a bottle laying on the floor with some wine left in it. I watch her down the rest of the bottle and throw it to the side. It clinks against the floor and rolls a few feet before hitting a pillar then she grabs another.

"We're at that level of emotional chaos are we?"

"You have no idea the shit I've seen in the last eight hours." She says taking another large swig from the bottle before laying back down.

She was right, I had no idea what she had been through, no one had yet.
"What did you see, Brianna?"

She takes a long breath in and blows it out hard, it shakes at the end as she remembers.

"The life tree tasked me with saving Isaac from Queen Evelyn and her mage Jewel. I took its leaf and was transported into Isotora's throne room. But they had already lost the battle, their army had been turned and the only people left were Isaac, his uncle, and seven of his guards. All of which were on their last legs..." she takes a deep breath in again, letting it out slowly. I stare at her in shock, not daring to say a word.

"It was one hundred to eight. Well nine including myself. I tried my best Kit I swear I did... I summoned a spirit bear but it wasn't enough. They had Centaurs, three of them. My beast took one down but... I lost him...maker...it felt like losing a piece of myself..." She begins to choke up. "The queen retreated, and I melted Jewels arm off with an arcane blast. Then...I watched my beast die and Isaacs uncle at the end of it all...The other men are gone now too." Her entire story was heartbreaking, it was strange to hear her tell it, she broke it down into random pieces sporadically put together as if it were too painful to tell in full. She was hurting more than anyone knew. I put out the weed and turn onto my side watching the tears stream down her cheeks.

"I failed Isaac, I failed my beast. I lost a battle and it's killing me inside." She covers her face with her hands.

"Bri, you haven't failed anyone. You were given a task, and fulfilled that task by saving a king from his enemy. Not just any king, he is a child, and he is alive because of you."

"Then why does it feel so bad?"

I sigh, knowing that my answers will never be enough to ease her pain. There are no words on earth that can mend the pain of loss.
"There is always loss in war. You can't save everyone, trust me I know. You are only accountable for your lack of mercy and caring. The fact that you care this much shows you did as much as you could, don't blame yourself for others' fate, they choose their own."

There was a long pause, which I decided not to interrupt. She needed to let what I said sink in for a minute. Finally she looks at me, eyes glistening in the fire light.
"Thank you." She whispers.

"Of course Bri, just remember, what we are facing is not going to be pretty. There are going to be some terrible things you will encounter or already have. It will change you, but please, don't let it break you. You are strong, you can do this, have faith in yourself." I hold a fist up to her and she bumps it with hers and that beautiful smile begins to cover up the sadness in her eyes.

"So you're really my official trainer?" She asks.

"Yup! You're stuck with me, sorry sweetheart." I reply, turning back over tucking my hands behind my head.

"And who decided this?"

"Your council did, on our way here. We all have our jobs for you."

"Oh really? And what "jobs" are those?"

"Well, I am your trainer, your father is...well..Vance calls it emotional guidance, whatever the hell that means, Vance is battle tactics, Gogo is stealth techniques, Harold and Grim are here for your social war tactics and to guard you, and Revish...did you know he was the leader of the Red Army and commander of the Black Dragon Brigade?"

"Of course, we share our memories together."

"You what?"

She laughs.
"He brought me my book, and was Lady Carens's lover at one point. we share everything...well almost everything... So what is his job?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure he is keeping us in line. We all got a good scolding from him. But he is here to guide you to victory is what he said."

"Hmm, he seems a little distracted lately. In fact I haven't spoken with him in a while." She ponders on that thought.

"Well you're here with me now, so why don't we focus on that." I reply.

And a small laugh leaves her lips as she breathes out.
"Is it really that meaningful?" She asks.

Her question was cold and to the point, meaning she's still pissed at me for attempting to sleep with another girl. This question was a hard one to answer, only because it is going to open up my feelings for her. Which I've been trying my best to hide.

Big sigh.
"I didn't mean to hurt you Bri."

"I know, we already established that. Why are you so ashamed of it?" She asks bluntly.

"Well..." I begin only to choke on my words. "It's just..."

She turns to me waiting eagerly for an answer.

"Kit." She says in monotone.

"I don't want you to stop loving me." And there I said it, well not exactly, but the point was made.

Silence...which was only broken after what seemed like minutes....
"I don't think I could." She whispers finally and I let out a long breath I was unaware I was holding, then she sits up taking another swig of wine wiping the excess off on her sleeve. "Believe me, I've tried for Vance's sake. But after Emeriss..."

She passes over the bottle of wine and I sit up with her to take a drink.
"Yeah I know... Speaking of Vance, he has been looking for you." I reply, reluctantly resetting the focus.

She sighs.
"I know, I should go to him, he's probably worried."

But there is a question in my mind that has been lingering there for weeks. One that both pains my heart for both of her and Vance. I suck in air, as the beat of my heart quickens.
"Do you love him Bri?" I ask quietly.

She glances at me then looks up at the stars.
"Yes, but differently now. Once we get to Ashura I'm going to tell him everything. But right now I need to focus on recruiting the rebels and Isaac."

"You sure about that? It's going to break his heart."

"It's even worse to let it go on." She replies.

"Yeah... Alright miss, go get some comfort from him. He's pretty good at that." I stand reaching out a hand to her.

She gets to her feet stumbling slightly from the wine.
"You going to make it?"

She laughs.
"I can handle a drink or two, Kit Mercer."

I smile and watch as she turns towards the door to leave, but for some reason I reach out and grab her arm. I sweep my other arm around her tiny waist and pull her into me embracing her with everything I have. The smell of roses and vanilla fill the air around me as if I had shaken a tree full of pollen. I run a hand through her soft hair and down her back letting the tips of my fingers course through it. She embraces me back with equal strength as she tightens her arms around my neck. I can feel the beat of her heart, her warm breath on my shoulder, the curve of her shape in my arms. This is the only place I want to be. I close my eyes and nuzzle into the softness in her hair, letting her scent take me to a better place.

This lasted much longer than I had intended and we are suddenly interrupted by a male voice causing us both to push away from each other.

"So this is where you're hiding." Jed says, eyeing us up as he walks into the room.

"Thank you Kit for taking care of my little girl. But if you don't mind, I'd like some daddy daughter time." He says as he pats my shoulder.

"Sure thing Jed." I smile at Bri." I'll see you in the morning, don't drink too much." I chuckle and leave the room replaying the way she felt in my arms.

———————————-

"So, you're drunk and high. Do you feel better?"
My father scolds.

"No." I reply with a tone.

He rolls his eyes and takes my arm leading me further into the middle of the observatory.
"Sit." He says jerking my arm down.

I sit down on my knees as he says to do and he joins me.

"What happened Bri? That boy you somehow managed to bring back with you is a mess."

I search the floor, remembering bits and pieces. It was chaos...absolute chaos...there were some things I couldn't remember, some things that were black with just sounds. I decide to put things simply, explaining it over in random detail, is.. well... it didn't come out all that well with Kit.

"I fought against our enemy, I lost, and precious lives were wasted."

He sighs deeply.
"I'm sorry Breezy, I had never wished this upon you. Not once. As for your mother? She knew already what you would become. She had always said you would be the one to change the world. And here you are doing just that." He replies, patting my head gently.

"I wish I knew her father."

He smiles.
"I'm sorry you weren't able to grow up with a mother. I'm sorry you weren't able to meet her. But I am proud of what you have become. You're a good girl, strong, and unmatched by anyone. Don't let others' sacrifices in this war go to waste. Their fates are not your control."

And that was the same thing Kit said, for the most part.
"Kit said the same thing."

He looks up at the stars.
"Ahh Kit Mercer, he is one of the good ones. It's unfortunate your path with him didn't cross before Vance's. You two would be great together. Don't get me wrong, Vance is a genuine guy and loves you with all his heart. But let's face it, he's very much about formalities and looks. That's not you Bri. You would be better off with a man who can teach you things rather than tell you."

"I know." I reply, replaying the feeling of Kit's arms curved around me and the way his voice says my name.

"But enough of that, let's talk about moving forward. Evanora has agreed to join you in this war. For your sacrifice in Emeriss and because she loves me that much."

"Really father?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, in twenty four hours my father had managed to gain an army of skilled soldiers with little to no effort.

"Yes, they will fight for you and for me with complete devotion. Because this is our future, we hold it together, just as all the realms do."

I leap into his arms, hugging him tightly.
"Thank you."

He pats my back and pushes me away.
"Now, let's talk about training, I want Kit to take over. He is the best fighter I have ever seen, even better than I. You will train with him everyday. Vance has agreed to practice magic with you until we get to Ashura and Dione will take over from there."

"Yes father." I reply.

He lowers his eyes sternly.
"As for your battle over love? I have no idea how to get you out of this mess. You're on your own with this one, all I can say is to be honest to everyone including yourself. You pledge to no man unless that is what you want, you hear me?"

"I know, I know...it's just so complicated. I will pledge to Vance. But I'm not sure about anything else. Our magus pledge is for the realms, not just us."

"Very well, just don't let anyone push you into something you are not ready for. Kick their asses if they try."

I laugh.
"Of course, because "they may be strong..."I begin.

And my father finishes.
"But we are stronger."

We both share a laugh.
"Let's get you some food, maybe some water to sober you up."

"I'm not THAT drunk father."

"Are you sure? I can send Kit back in to carry you out." He nudges me as we get to our feet.

"Oh fuck off." I reply, nudging him back.

He chuckles as we walk out of the room together.