Chapter 13
Cassie had been unnerved by Irene's return to the cabin. She knew Lillian was eating it up, staring at Irene happily as if she hadn't been the cause of so much suffering for everyone. Though Cherie had explained that Irene had passed the observation process, Cassie still had her suspicions about the blonde. She'd been trying to keep Elijah out of Irene's sight for that reason, afraid Irene would take him and flee back to the headquarters. It was hard for Cassie to tell which side Irene was on when she had shown allegiances to both sides at one point.
"I wouldn't let her get too close to Elijah either," Marc said as she shared these thoughts in their bedroom. He was folding his clothes while Cassie sat on the bed, speaking of Irene's return.
"I'm trying not to. I still see her looking at him all the time. Is that bad though? I feel guilty keeping a mother from her child," Cassie said.
"You've taken care of Elijah longer than her. If she really cared about him, she wouldn't have let you take him in the first place," Marc said.
"Well, I don't know if that's..." Cassie let her voice trail off. Irene still looked unwell after returning to the cabin. She hardly interacted with anyone besides Lillian, and even then, Lillian would only speak to her when Mitsuki wasn't around. Otherwise, Mitsuki would give a burning glare to Irene anytime they sat in the same room together.
As for Cassie, she had barely spoken a word to Irene since her return. She didn't feel it was necessary, considering she barely knew Irene in the first place. Marc had kept his distance as well, helping Cassie keep Elijah away from her.
Elijah had asked a few questions about Irene's presence the first few days, but Cassie had shushed his thoughts, telling him not to worry about it. Currently, he was taking an afternoon nap, hopefully dreaming soundly while Cassie and Marc worried for him.
"I think I'll go downstairs for a while and read," Cassie told Marc. She stood up and quickly kissed him.
"Okay. I'll be up here," Marc said, squeezing one of her hands.
Cassie gave him a tired grin and headed downstairs with a book in hand. She'd figured she'd sit on the couch near the window where she could see the snow glistening in the afternoon sunlight. It was one of her favorite spots to read in the house.
As she grew closer to that familiar spot, she realized someone was already occupying it. Irene had already realized that this seat came with a beautiful view of the woods outside. She was leaning back against the couch cushions, her head looking out the window.
At the sound of Cassie's footsteps, Irene spun around. Fear shone in her eyes before Cassie watched her shoulders relax.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," Cassie murmured, taking a seat on the couch opposite of Irene. She was hoping Irene would get up and leave once she sat, but the blonde remained there, watching droplets of water trickle down from the roof's icicles.
Cassie pulled out her book, beginning to turn through pages, but out of the corner of her eye, she could see Irene pivot her body so she was back sitting on the couch and facing Cassie. Something told Cassie that she wouldn't get her quiet reading time after all.
"Is Elijah well?" Irene asked.
"Yes," Cassie replied, staring back at the book. She didn't want to make conversation with Irene, and she was surprised Irene wanted to speak to her. Unlike the others, Cassie had never felt any resemblance of friendship when thinking of Irene. In fact, Cassie's life had seemed infinitely better once Irene had left it.
"I hope he wasn't too much trouble," Irene said quietly.
"He's thrown a few tantrums here and there, but he's been a pretty good kid," Cassie said, slowly closing her book.
"I'm glad. I was worried about him back at the headquarters, but I knew you all were taking good care of him," Irene breathed in relief.
"You wanted me to have him," Cassie realized. "Why?"
Irene glanced down at her knees. "If I had it my way, I would have kept him to myself. It was too dangerous for him in the headquarters. I didn't want them to brainwash him like they'd brainwashed everyone else. I...didn't mean to come back for him the first time I gave him to you."
Cassie nodded, realizing no one had told Irene that Elijah was a human-spirit. Cassie opened her mouth, about to say it herself, but she shut it once more. She still didn't trust Irene enough to even share the secrets of her own son with her.
"What happened?" Cassie asked quietly.
"A lot. Probably more than I remember. Miguel and I aren't together anymore. That's something that happened," Irene murmured.
"You don't seem too upset," Cassie realized.
"We had our differences. I don't agree with what he believes. I don't know what happened to him. I went back to the Preservers because I thought my son would be safe, but I didn't feel like he would be as long as Miguel was around," Irene murmured. "We fought often."
"I would assume. I didn't think you two got along extremely well the short time I lived with you guys," Cassie admitted.
"We didn't. I found myself falling out of love with him fast, but I stayed because I felt like I couldn't live on my own. I kept pushing off the marriage, kept giving him hope every now and then that maybe I still loved him. I was just lying to myself," Irene said, hugging her knees close to her chest.
Cassie was quiet, unsure how to respond, when Irene spoke up.
"One day, he told me that Elijah was replaceable, that if we couldn't get him back, we just could have more children," Irene said softly.
"That's terrible," Cassie said. She had never liked Miguel either, but she'd always viewed the two of them as equally evil. But looking at how fragile Irene appeared, she was beginning to wonder if she had misjudged her.
"I cut things off with him after that," Irene said.
"And that's why you came back?" Cassie wondered.
"No. I stayed and spied for months after that. Lynch had been keeping a close eye on me, ever since I had first arrived at the headquarters. One day, he called me into his office and..." Her voice trailed off. Cassie leaned forward, waiting to hear more.
"He...touched me. That was enough. After lashing out at him, I packed my things. Then you guys overthrew that military base, and I arranged to get away with the other allies. I always thought Lynch followed me around because he was suspicious of my loyalties, but I know that's no longer the case," Irene said, resting her head on her knees.
"I'm sorry," Cassie said quietly. "You didn't deserve to go through that."
"Yes, I did. I'm a bad person. I hate myself sometimes," Irene said, now shoving her head into her knees.
Cassie was not Lillian. She was not going to move forward and hug Irene or comfort her while she cried. Instead, she sat quietly, watching Irene slowly inhale and exhale.
"Why won't you let me see Elijah?" Irene asked at last. "I know you're keeping him away for protective measures, but out of all the harmful things I did to everyone, I loved my son. I love him. I did everything for his sake."
Cassie felt herself growing uneasy. She was trying so hard to block all sympathy toward Irene, but she could tell she was suffering deep down, that she had been for years.
"I won't forgive you just yet," Cassie told Irene. "I'm not Lillian." She took in a deep breath, wondering if she was insane. "But...I'll let you see him."
"Will you?" Irene asked, her eyes suddenly looking brighter.
Cassie slowly nodded. "I owe that to you at least. You lost everything. You came all the way here. But...he doesn't remember you, Irene. I told him I'm not his real mother, but I don't know how he'll react."
"I can just speak to him for a little bit. You can be in the room," Irene suggested.
Cassie nodded. "He's napping right now. I'll wake him up in a little bit if he's not already up. You can come with me."
"Thank you, Cassie," Irene breathed.
It seemed so strange having their roles reversed. Cassie always cowered in fear around Irene, but now, it seemed the opposite was true. Irene looked weak compared to Cassie these days. She lacked any of that authority Cassie felt she had once exerted.
"Congratulations on your engagement to Marc, by the way," Irene said. "Lillian told me you two were getting married."
"Oh, thank you," Cassie said, surprised she had learned. "I guess your suspicions weren't completely off when you thought something was going on between me and Marc all those years ago," Cassie stated. "Did Lillian tell you? We've been dating since I got my family back."
"I heard. I hope you have a nice wedding," Irene said.
"Thanks." Cassie glanced around awkwardly, not sure where the conversation should lead.
"I hope you're using protection," Irene added.
Cassie felt her cheeks redden. "W-We are!"
"Just making sure you two learn after my mistakes. Do you think we could go see Elijah now?" Irene asked. There was a bit of humor in her voice that Cassie had never detected before. Despite how fragile she appeared, she no longer was trying to keep up an act of intimidation or superiority. Was this the Irene Lillian once knew?
"He might be awake already," Cassie stated. "Follow me."
She reluctantly led Irene upstairs, walking down the hall to Elijah's room. Cassie carefully entered, assuming the child was still asleep, but he was sitting on the floor, playing with toys.
"You were supposed to be napping," Cassie spoke angrily. This only meant he was going to be grumpy later in the evening.
"I play now. I not tired anymore," Elijah stated, continuing to play with two action figures in his hands.
Cassie could hear Irene chuckling beside her.
"Mommy, who that?" he asked, turning his head to look at Irene.
Cassie carefully shut the door behind them. She knew Marc wasn't keen on letting the two interact and didn't want him to overhear them speaking.
"This is your real mommy," Cassie said.
Irene slowly walked forward and knelt down. "Hi. You don't remember me, huh?" she asked.
Elijah shook his head, growing quiet. He still was a bit shy around strangers. Cassie watched as he grasped the blue blanket near him and held it close to his body. Cassie hoped Irene wasn't being too let down by this interaction.
"I'm your mom," Irene said, sitting back on the heels of her feet. "I used to take care of you when you were a baby. I used to feed you and play with you and..." Cassie began to hear Irene's voice cracking.
"Where my real daddy then?" Elijah asked.
"He isn't here," Irene answered. "He's not a nice person."
"Your real mom is going to live with us for a while," Cassie told Elijah calmly.
"I have two Mommys now?" he asked.
Cassie chuckled. "Yes, I guess so."
"Your eyes are still very blue, huh?" Irene asked, staring at her son. "I would've thought they'd faded a bit by now. You have my eyes, see?" she said, pointing to hers.
"How come I don't know you?" Elijah asked.
"It was too dangerous to keep you where I was living, so Cassie took good care of you while I was gone. But now I'm back, and—"
Elijah cut her off with a tiny whimper. "But I don't wanna leave!"
"You're not going to," Cassie argued. "But now you have someone else to look after you. You can get to know your real mom."
"What game are you playing?" Irene asked, staring at the child in curiosity. She scooted closer, staring at the action figures. "Are you playing a superhero game?"
"Yeah! You wanna be Superman?" he asked.
"Sure," she said.
"Mommy, you can play too," Elijah said.
Cassie carefully sat down on the floor and grabbed an action figure. She did her best to pay attention to the game, but she was more focused on how Irene was interacting with her child. Despite her cold attitude, she had picked up her motherly role again in a flash. She made Elijah giggle a few times on occasion and seemed to be in a particularly good mood herself.
Perhaps Cassie had been too harsh. What Irene had said was most likely true. She clearly loved her son, judging by the way she sweetly interacted with him. She couldn't imagine what the three year separation had felt like on her end.
A knock on the door interrupted their playing session. Cassie glanced at the door as it opened, finding Marc step inside.
"What's going on?" he asked, staring at the three of them in confusion.
"We playing!" Elijah said excitedly.
Marc stared at Cassie, an unpleasant look on his face. She slowly stood up.
"I'll be back in a second," she told Irene as she exited the room with Marc. They walked down the hall a few feet before Marc let out a drawn-out sigh.
"What are you doing, Cassie?" he asked, anger in his tone.
"It felt wrong to not let her interact with him," Cassie murmured, glancing downward.
"I came into his room because I heard noises. I didn't realize Irene would be in there," Marc mumbled.
"We talked for a little bit," Cassie told Marc. "I know she's done some bad things, but Irene really loves Elijah. She wants to help care for him too. I don't want to separate them. I think Irene's lost a lot already."
"How do we know she's trustworthy?" Marc asked.
"If Cherie thinks so, then I think so too," Cassie answered. "Don't you feel bad, Marc?"
"He-he already has parent figures."
"Who was the one warning me not to get too attached?" Cassie stated, feeling her own frustration begin to rise. "Who was the one who told me over and over again how he wasn't my child?"
Marc was quiet for a few seconds. "What does this mean then when this is all over? Does he go back to her?" Marc asked bitterly.
"I don't know. We can figure that out when that day comes," Cassie said, beginning to fear the outcome herself. She wasn't quite willing to give Elijah up yet, but he wasn't hers. She had no say in the matter when it came down to it.
Cassie reached up to press her hand against Marc's cheek. "I think...I think it's right that Irene spend some time with her child. We did technically kidnap him from her after all."
Marc let out a sigh and leaned forward to hug her. Cassie shut her eyes and held him close to her for a few moments. She felt the slightest bit of heartbreak. She had loved caring for Elijah these past few years, but it was wrong to completely parent him when his actual mother was back, with a lot of love to share.
"You're right. I know you're right. I'm just going to be sad if we let him go," Marc murmured.
Cassie pulled away from him slightly and stared up at him, a few tears in her eyes. "You really love him, don't you?"
Marc nodded. "I know it took some time for me to get used to being a parent figure. You took on the job right away. But he's a really cool kid, and I just...I just want to make sure he has a good childhood, that he doesn't have to suffer any of the awful things we had to."
"I'll keep an eye on Irene, but just watching them play right now, I think she really cares for him. If anything, she probably feels even more love for Elijah than what I feel. She was the one who gave birth to him, after all."
"I'm sorry for being selfish," Marc murmured, kissing Cassie's cheek. "I shouldn't be this upset." He let out a sigh. "I think I'll go make some food, but you can keep playing."
"You don't want to join?" Cassie asked curiously.
Marc sighed. "I don't feel as comfortable around Irene yet. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay," she said. She stepped back into Elijah's bedroom. The two had barely noticed she had even left. Irene was continuing to play with her son, now chasing him on her knees. Cassie smiled weakly, glad to see them interacting, but frightened for what this would mean for the future.
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