"It was like when you make a move in chess and just as you take your finger off the piece, you see the mistake you've made, and there's this panic because you don't know yet the scale of disaster you've left yourself open to." ― Kazuo Ishiguro

++ C H A P T E R | N I N E T E E N ++

Elliott couldn't get far enough from the house. Mat had held him down long enough to calm him down, but when there was a knock as the door and a tall, blonde man was there with a smile, Elliott lost it.

He looked too much like his own father.

It had been Wes's father, there to pick up Anna for a date, and Elliott lost it. Completely lost everything.

Elliott could remember snippets of his father. He'd been so young when he pulled the trigger, and most of his memories were blurry. He had only been seven. But, he could remember his father's blonde hair, and his tall build. He could remember his smile, and the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed.

Those memories only made Elliott cry harder. He'd never once cried over his father - mother wouldn't let him mourn. She watched him all the time, keeping an eye on him, making sure no tears leaked out of his eyes.

He never had time. Now, he had tons of it.

Elliott could remember the feel of the gun in his hands. It was small and heavy, and the recoil had hurt his hands something fierce. He could remember with clarity the look in his father's eyes. Just remembering it made him cry harder and realize what he had done.

He killed his own father. He was only seven, but he killed his own father.

It was to save Adrian and Mat! He internalized, but that didn't make him feel any better. It only made him feel worse, because he had picked them over his father. He could have done something. He should have thrown the gun to his father, or done something so that he didn't have to kill the man.

There were other options. And Elliott hated himself every day for not choosing them. For not thinking of them.

He could remember Adrian's face, and the horror that was there for weeks. Adrian stopped talking to him. Adrian stopped looking at him. It made Elliott feel so bad about what had happened. It made him feel like scum.

Mat didn't know. And Elliott was doing everything in his power to keep it that way. Who would ever love a monster like himself? He was a murderer.

Elliott pushed his legs to run faster. He needed to run, to gain freedom. He needed freedom from everything he'd been through. Mother didn't control him anymore. That was the only thing Elliott could think of as he imagined his father's face looking at him with disappointment. "You don't have to listen to her."

Someone grabbed Elliott's shoulder, sending him into defense mode. He spun on his heels, ready to throw a punch when he saw the person.

"Brent? What are you doing here?"

Elliott was panting as he leaned against a tree, still confused over the sudden appearance of Brent. He attempted to wipe his tears away, but it was no use. He couldn't stop crying.

"Elliott, what's happening? Why are you crying?" Brent tried to sound concerned, but all he could think of was how Natasha broke up with him for this.

"Nothing is wrong! Leave me alone."

Brent rolled his eyes as Elliott tried to stumble away. "Elliott, I'm not stupid. What's going on? You can't just run away from your problems!"

Elliott looked behind him, taking in his words. They were the truth, and Elliott knew this, but there was nothing Brent could say to make him feel differently. He had to run - it was what kept him sane. He was dangerous. He couldn't be trusted. "You're just like mother!"

"If I don't run then how am I supposed to fight the demons, Brent? Have you seen me? I'm a wimp! I'm too short, too small, too wimpy to fight any demons. If I don't run, they'll consume me! Eat me for breakfast."

Brent had never met anyone so haunted before. Just hearing those words made shivers run up his spine. He had no clue how to handle Elliott - he was far too imbalanced. He was a ticking time bomb, just like Adrian said.

"Elliott, you don't have to fight them on your own."

Brent had no idea why he was offering his help. Natasha just broke up with him for Elliott, yet Brent felt the need to help him. To be his friend. Because if he wasn't who would be? Brent wasn't blind - he knew Elliott didn't like Natasha. Elliott needed a friend, and even if that meant he would have to deal with whatever demons Elliott had, Brent was up for the challenge.

Elliott was speechless. He couldn't believe what was happening.

"But I do! No one can know! No one!" Elliott was stumbling back, covering his face. His heart was beating too hard and his lungs were closing up. And those stubborn tears wouldn't stop falling down his cheeks.

"Listen, Elliott. I don't know what shit you have going on, but you have to breathe and go find help. Torturing yourself like this won't help anyone. It's not going to save anyone, least of all you."

Elliott wanted to disagree, but he knew Brent was right. Adrian had been saying the same exact thing, but he couldn't make himself believe that someone else could help him. How could anyone else deal with these demons? They were relentless and promised death.

He couldn't drag anyone else into his mess. Especially not Brent.

"I don't need anyone. I need people to leave me alone. I need to people to back off and realize that I'm fine."

But, he wasn't. He wasn't fine at all, and he knew this. He just needed to get far away from Brent and from everyone. He could leave his brothers with Anna, and they would be fine. No one needed him. Not a single person. Adrian was right - he was a bomb that was about to explode, and he needed to get away before he could hurt someone.

"Elliott, you are anything but fine!" Brent yelled. "Did you know Natasha just broke up with me? You want to take a stab at why she would do that?"

Elliott didn't answer.

"It's because she wants to date you! She cares about you, Elliott. So does Adrian. People care about you, okay? And you need to open your eyes and see that!"

It hurt Brent to talk about the recent break up, but if that was what made Elliott get away from the cliff he was on, then it would be worth it. Brent had never imagined that it was this bad. At school and practice, Elliott had always seemed so quiet. He was a little weird, but Brent had never imagined that it was this bad. That Elliott was so unstable.

He felt horrible. He'd been such a jerk to Elliott, never once knowing what he was going through. Or what any of the other kids he bullied was going through. He was careless about how he acted, and even though Brent didn't think his bullying had done much in driving Elliott off the edge, it could be driving the other's off.

"That can't be true." Elliott's words brought Brent back. "Natasha is beautiful, and she loves you. I mean, how can't she? You're the perfect guy. There isn't any way she likes me."

Brent ran a hand through his hair. He too wanted to know why Natasha picked Elliott over himself, but this wasn't about him. "You're wrong, Elliott. She likes you, a lot. And you need to realize that people care. You can't be so reckless. What would happen to Adrian if you did something stupid?"

Elliott didn't want to think about what would happen to Adrian or Mat.

"How about I walk with you back to your house, okay dude? Is anyone home?" Brent was trying really hard not to snap at Elliott. He was irritated, but at the same time, he was worried. If he said something out of line, Elliott could take it the wrong way.

Brent's words only made Elliott cry harder. "No! Adrian is at the dance, and Anna is going out with that stupid guy and Mat-"

Elliott froze. Mat. Mat was home, alone. Elliott had run out of the house right after Anna left. He was home alone, and something could have happened to him. This made Elliott's heart nearly stop with fright.

Suddenly, he was running back towards home, picturing the worst. What if Mother found him? What if Mother is there right now with him, taking him away?

"Who is Anna and Mat?" Brent yelled from behind, but Elliott was too concerned to even answer. How could he have been so stupid? Elliott couldn't believe he had left Mat home alone. Especially after Mother knew where they lived.

Elliott didn't stop until he was opening the front door and storming into the house. Brent followed right after him and into the living room, where Mat was sitting with his hand in a bowl of popcorn, looking frightened by the sudden appearance of his brother.

"Ellie, is something wrong?" Mat asked in that little voice of his.

Elliott shook his head. "No, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to check on you, make sure everything was fine. Which it is."

Brent was watching everything closely. He suspected that Mat was his brother, mostly due to the fact that the boy looked strikingly similar to Elliott. They all looked alike, with the same soft brown hair and the same wide eyes.

"Brent, this is Mat, my younger brother. Mat, this is Brent. He's a guy from school."

Mat's eyes lit up. "From school? You mean you're Elliott's friend?"

Brent was taken aback at the sudden outburst from the youngest brother. He looked eager and happy, almost excited.

"I guess you could say that," Brent said slowly, watching Elliott's reaction.

"And Anna," Elliott sighed, remembering Brent's questions. "Is our foster mother. She's out-"

"On a hot date!" Mat chimed in, finishing Elliott's sentence. This made Elliott narrow his eyes at him.

Brent had to laugh at Mat. He was nothing like Elliott or Adrian. He was so open and happy, compared to the other two. Things just weren't adding up, and Brent couldn't understand why the other two were so reserved. It was really none of his business, but he was curious, now. Elliott was clearly damaged from whatever abuse his mother had put him through, but Mat?

He looked like a happy puppy.

"So, now that you see I'm fine, you can leave now." Elliott crossed his arms, trying to look stern. He didn't need Brent snooping around his house. He also didn't need Brent getting curious and comfortable. He already knew too much.

"Okay, Elliott. I'll see you on Monday. Bye, Mat." Brent smiled at Mat, earning a grin in return. When he went to nod at Elliott, he noticed the pretty boy was fidgeting, clearly uncomfortable.

As Brent was leaving, he couldn't help but think about what Elliott was hiding, and why it was so important. He needed to know more, and instead of his interest being driven by curiosity, it was now driven by concern. Brent knew if he didn't figure out what was going on with Elliott soon, there was a chance Elliott would no longer be around.

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