Alasdair Bailey had been told he was oblivious many times throughout his life.

He didn't agree. It wasn't that he was oblivious. If anything, it was rather that he was scared.

His father had walked out on him when he had only been seven years old. After that, he had been forced to watch his mother crumble into a mere shell of what she had been. So it was no wonder he was downright terrified of losing those he cared about and insecure about if he was good enough.

It meant he sometimes turned a blind eye, both consciously and unconsciously, to things others thought were obvious. It was his way of keeping himself safe, to avoid confronting truths which could rattle his world.

Because of that, it had always irked him when people called him oblivious. He was both smart and creative, after all.

It wasn't until Errol Aitken called him an oblivious fool right before kissing him that Alasdair realised there might have been a bit of truth every time someone had called him that.

The kiss had been rather awful. When Alasdair had registered what happened, which had in itself taken a few moments, it had felt more as if Errol had been pushing him away, only using his lips instead of hands. So Alasdair had pushed back.

"There ye have it," Errol told him when the kiss was over, but Alasdair had barely heard him. Too lost in what had just transpired. But even though his head was a complete mess, he saw the tired resignation on Errol's face. "I love ye, Alasdair Bailey. Always have an' always will. But I know ye don't love me like I love ye. An' livin' with that knowledge an' stayin' yer friend. It's just become too painful. I can't do it anymore, an' that's why I'm leavin'."

And then Errol had done just that. He had left.

Left Alasdair still standing frozen and confused with his fingers on his lips where he could still feel the hard impact of Errol's lips. A feeling which in that moment felt like the only thing that existed.

After a minute, or several hours, Alasdair didn't know, Airlia and Ethan came out of the café kitchen.

"Alasdair," Airlia said in a soft voice as if she was talking to a wounded and scared animal. "What's wrong? What happened?"

The questions woke him up from his stupor. "He kissed me. Why would he kiss me?"

Airlia sighed and pulled him into a hug. The hug felt strange. He couldn't put his fingers on why. It was just awkward. Stiff. Not the hug he wanted during that moment.

Airlia and Ethan spoke some to one another, Alasdair didn't hear what about. His mind was too preoccupied but at the same time empty. Then he was left alone with his sister.

She made him sit. By the table Errol had been seated when Alasdair had entered the café. On the seat opposite where Errol had sat.

Looking at the now empty chair, Alasdair could still see Errol sitting there. The friend smiled, but there was an awful pain in his eyes. Alasdair wanted to reach over. Wanted to put his hand to the other man's cheek and tell him everything would be fine as long as they had each other.

A cup of tea was placed before him, and then Airlia took the seat which had been Errol's. And with that, the spell broke. Alasdair's confusion and shock disappeared.

"He's gay," Alasdair stated, and he was surprised at how steady his voice was. It didn't feel like it mirrored all the emotions swirling in him.

Airlia looked down briefly at her cup before answering. "Yes."

Just one word, but it carried so much weight.

"And he is in love with me," Alasdair went on stating facts he wasn't sure his mind had fully comprehended yet.

"Yes." That one word again which changed so much of what Alasdair knew.

A million memories flashed inside of Alasdair in a matter of seconds. A million memories which now changed shape with the new knowledge.

Every time he had said Errol should find himself a lassie.

Every time Errol had smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

Every time he had acted intimately with Flora in front of Errol.

Alasdair stood with such a rush his chair fell to the floor. "Where is he? I have to talk to him!"

"He and Ethan are already on their way to Edinburgh," Airlia answered calmly.

"No. No! We have to go after them!"

"To say what? Do you even know what you'll say to him?"

"I..." Truthfully, Alasdair had no idea. All he knew was that he needed his best friend. "I dunno, but I have to tell him something. I... I just let him leave without saying a thing."

Airlia didn't answer him, but she didn't need to. Alasdair knew he couldn't just storm after Errol. If he did without knowing what to say or do, odds were he'd just end up hurting his best friend even more.

Slowly, Alasdair sat back down again and asked a question which burned in his throat. A question which caused bile to rise and whose answer he knew would likely rip him apart. But he needed to know, and he deserved to be ripped to pieces.

"For how long? For how long has he been in love with me?"

"Since he was seventeen."

Seventeen? Over eight years?

That mere thought made Alasdair's insides contract and twist in painful guilt. Made everything burn and ache. Like the punch to his gut the knowledge was.

He rushed into the kitchen and made it just in time to empty the contents of his stomach into the sink.

For over eight years, Errol had been in love with him. For over eight years, he had been hurting his best friend over and over.

He was so stupid. Truly an oblivious fool.