Poppy's PoV

Our girls night ended abruptly as soon as the guys came in. Any nice feelings we had when talking about Kai and eating junk food had been quashed. We all sat awkwardly, not sure whether to end the party or try to help them. I just wanted to hear what had happened. I looked over at Ashton pleadingly, needing an answer. He sighed.

"Alright, in hindsight maybe we shouldn't have said it right then, but he needed to know." Ashton began, running his hands through his hair. "He was really down, not enjoying himself at all. Management have been on our case because paps are snapping photos of him looking down and they're trying to silence stories that the papers are making up. We just wanted him to try to be happier." The girls seemingly all crossed their arms at the same time, knowing what was coming.

"Please, Ash, tell me that you didn't tell him he needed to fake being happy to please management?" Bex snapped, this time not receiving a slap as everyone was in agreement. She looked at Sierra almost confusedly as she realised she wasn't getting punished for speaking out of turn this time.

"We kind of did. And we reminded him we leave for tour next week." Luke looked down at the floor. Sierra shook her head and sighed.

"And you're shocked he didn't react well?" Crystal pushed, the guys now looking like they were under fire. Her brows were furrowed as she cradled India in her arms. "Michael how would you feel? We've got a baby together..." she looked down lovingly at her baby girl. Michael shifted uncomfortably as everyone looked over at him. He looked down at the floor and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'd be terrified." Michael said quietly, his eyes moving to Crystal and India. "I don't think I could handle looking after India all by myself, I'd be wishing for you to get better, I'd be scared that you wouldn't, you're my best friend I really wouldn't want to lose you." Tears filled my eyes at the raw emotion in the room, with Michael wearing his heart on his sleeve for everyone to see.

"So why didn't you guys think of that when you were talking to him?" Sierra asked carefully. "You've all got partners at least, Michael you have a baby, we're in situations so similar to Calum and Poppy minus the illness. You need to think before you speak. All he wants and needs is support, to know his brothers have his back when management come barking down. But it doesn't look like you do..." Everyone looked down now, like the happiness had been sucked out of us all. The silence between people speaking was absolutely deafening, everyone feeling pretty crappy at this whole situation. This was all because of me. I had to get involved with Calum, i got sick, I've made everyone feel like shit.

"I'm so sorry." I said, the tears finally falling despite me managing to hold them in before. "I've caused all of this." Crystal was quick to put her arm around me and pull me into her. The others surrounded me and offered their love, or words of comfort.

"Look, I think it's good to give them some time. Come on, let's go." Mali stood up and began to herd everyone out. "They need to talk." The rest of the gang filed out of our place and shut the door behind them, leaving the eerie silence and painful feelings with us. As soon as Kai fell back to sleep, I placed him gently in his cot and nervously shuffled into the bedroom where Calum was laying, his back to me.

"Babe?" I asked quietly, just to see if I'd get a reaction. A simple sigh was my response. I slowly walked over and got onto the bed, shuffling myself over until I was beside him where I pulled him in for a hug. He didn't seem to move at first, probably weighing up what his best move was with his emotions all over the place.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that and ruined your night." He said as he turned to face me, his arm draping over me in as much of a hug as he could muster. He looked drained, exhausted because of the constant issues we had to fight.

"Don't be ridiculous Calum. From what the guys said I would have acted the same way. I know it's hard for you, that's why I wanted you to go out and forget about me for a day. I wanted you to live your life." He gave me a squeeze as a reply.

"I threatened to leave the band." He said bluntly, causing me to gasp in horror so much that I fell into a coughing fit, my throat feeling like razor blades as I hacked.

"What?!" My voice was even hoarser than before, my throat burning as I tried to talk.

"They're all going on about tour next week but not one of them asked management to put it on hold or reschedule... I thought they had my back, that they'd stick up for me against the world just as I would do for them. If this was happening to anyone else I'd be there shouting my point in managements face, but they're just agreeing with them." I moved back slightly to look into his saddened eyes, my heart pulling painfully.

"I'm so sorry Calum." I offered him a soft kiss on the lips. "They know now. The girls put them in their places out there. It should be better." His strong arms tightened around me once more.

"The only thing that'd make this better would be you getting better." He said, his voice wobbly with emotion. I felt like a failure. I was meant to be his wife, the one person he could rely on to cheer him up or help him out, yet here I was being the reason for his pain.

"I'm sorry. You deserve happiness, not a life with someone like me. I've brought so much misery to your otherwise perfect life." I spoke into his body as I hugged him, my body trying to fight to stop me saying the words I was thinking. "If you want to leave, I don't mind. You deserve better than all of this. I'll look after Kai and if anything happens to me then you can have him if you want. I don't want you to feel burdened..."