I struggle to catch my breath.

Nothing feels real.

Dad's starting to lose his warmth, but I can't bring myself to let go of his hand.

I can't let go of him, because the moment I do, he's truly gone. It will be real. Painfully, blisteringly, undeniably real, and I don't know if I can take that. I can't lose the one bit of real family I had left. Of course, I still have Pepper and Peter—maybe even Claire or gran if they're still around.

But only Dad was there for me when no one else was. He loved me from the second we knew about the other. He brought me to New York when my life imploded. He helped me train and find myself again. He showed me what it meant to be human and how to be a real hero. He spent all his time reminding me that I was always going to be loved and understood.

He was my Dad, and I can't just let him go.

"We need to return those stones to their original places." Strange calls after a long moment of silence, and the sound of his voice makes my skin burn with rage and hatred. "It's imperative that they be taken back to their rightful places."

"Shut up." I glare at him, and suddenly all eyes are on me.

"I know you're grieving, but—"

"No!" I shout back and wrap my shadows around his throat. "You know nothing about me, and you know nothing about what I'm feeling."

"Lia, what are you—?" Peter starts to ask, but I cut him off before he can finish his question.

"You killed him." I barely blink as the pressure increases on his throat. "He didn't have to die. There was another way for us to win, but you let him die. Worse yet, you convinced him to do it and let him stop me when I tried to help."

"It was too late for you to do anything. If you had intervened, everything would have been lost." Strange chokes out, and I shake my head. "I saw every outcome, this was how it had to happen."

"You said there were two outcomes." I counter and squeeze a little tighter. "There was another way. It could have worked, but you—you still let him die. Why? And before you answer, I suggest you tell me the truth if you value breathing."

"You already know the answer."

Tears build back up in my eyes as I recall the way he looked at me back on Titan and his glance over to me before Dad—before he did what he did. "Then why didn't you let it happen? It was supposed to be me. The stones wanted me to be the one to stop it."

"Because, he got there first. He knew what it would cost and willingly paid the price."

"He shouldn't have." I scream as I release Strange as the gut-wrenching sobs overwhelm me. "He shouldn't have stopped me. He should still be here."

Peter's arms wrap around me tightly as he pulls me close to his chest, both of us still hurt, dirty, and grieving. "Hey, it's not your fault. It's no ones fault."

"Yes, it is. I should have been faster." I grip onto his shoulders and barely blubber out the words, "I still need him. I need my Dad."

It starts becoming harder to breathe, and I swear I'm trying to suck air through a coffee straw. Everything is hazy. None of it feels real. I'm just watching myself from outside my body, unable to move as I see myself as a sobbing mess in my boyfriend's arms.

Strange rubs his throat, where a bruise is starting to show. Mum watches from her place next to Rhodey, both of them with pain in their eyes at the entire situation. The rest seem to awkwardly shift on their feet, unsure of what to do or say.

I can't stop, and I wonder if I'll ever stop crying—or this will ever stop hurting so much. Will we ever stop losing those we love? Or are we just doomed to a lifetime of suffering, loss, and pain?

The question swirls in my head until the world starts spinning and what little breath I was taking in is now gone. All I can do is struggle to gain it back, but it only makes me more dizzy. The edges of my vision start to darken.

That's when it all stops.

I come to on the quinjet, my head resting in Peter's lap. My head still feels fuzzy, but it starts to clear enough for me to hear what him and Pepper are saying. "She's gonna be okay, you know. It's just gonna take some time—for all of us." Mum sighs, emotion filling her voice as she continues, "They were both so close. Tony could barely function after he lost both of you, but I know he was hurting even more than he let on. The two of them were always thick as thieves."

"Yeah, I know what that's like."

I finally manage to open my eyes, and I push myself up. My voice feels lost, and the whole world is underwater. All I can bring myself to do is squeeze Peter's hand. "Glad you're awake. I was getting worried about you." Pepper whispers as she brushes her fingers through my hair. She watches me with somber eyes, "It's okay to hurt, you know, but there's some things you should know before we get home."

"I assumed with being dead for five years, I'd have some catching up to do." I mumble with a mirthless laugh. "Just, please, tell me we didn't lose anyone else."

Mum's eyes quickly dart to the others, and I follow it to see the rest of the Avengers avoiding my gaze. I look around, mentally accounting for everyone. My heart breaks even more when I realize who's missing. "No," I cry again, my whole body trembling, "Please, tell me she's here. I can't lose her too."

"She—um—she wanted me to tell you 'it was all worth it if you came back and had the chance to live and be happy' and that she loved you like you were her family." Clint says as he cries with me. "I tried to stop her, but—"

I nod and wrap Clint into a tight hug. After all, out of everyone, he and I were closer with Nat than anyone. She was like my big sister. I learned how to fight, how to ride a motorcycle, how to be a spy and gather information, and so so much more from her. She was one of the few who cared about me despite my past and knew what it was like to be judged for it.

It's not until we drop off Clint that I'm finally able to calm down enough for Mum to start catching me up on what's happened the five years we've been gone. She tells me about the wedding, the cabin her and Dad bought and moved into, and my sister.

That last one is where I lost it.

I ran directly to the toilets and threw up as the tears poured out in fresh waves. This time, Peter was the only one who dared to follow me. "I can't do this." I whisper as I curl up against him. "I just can't. I lost my Dad and Nat. Now I'm told I have a little sister? It's too much, Pete. It's just too much."

He just holds me close for a long moment before he dares to speak. "Yes, you can, Lia. You have to." His voice trembles as he pulls me back to look into his face. "You have to. Because I need you; Pepper needs you. Your sister needs you."

"How? How do I keep going, Pete?"

"One breath at a time. One day at a time." His hands cup my cheeks as he speaks. "You just take it as it comes, keep going, and eventually the pain dulls little by little."

I lean my head against his chest, "You make it sound so easy."

"It's not, but you're not alone." He whispers into my hair, "You're never gonna be alone in this."

"Thank you, Pete." I whisper and squeeze him tighter. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here right now."

We just stay like that for a long minute, just taking in the comfort of each other's presence. I listen to his heartbeat and wonder how it continues after everything that he's been through. "You ready to go back? I'm pretty sure we're getting close to home, and your mom said there's more to tell you."

"I don't know if I can handle anymore today." I grumble and nuzzle my face further into his neck. "I don't want to do anything for a very long time."

"We can, but you know you're gonna have to at least meet Morgan."

"I can't, Pete. I mean, how can I face her knowing she'll have to grow up without her Dad—without our Dad? I know what it's like because that's how I grew up, and I—I'd never wish that for anyone. She should grow up knowing how much he loves her and always be able to go to him for advice and never—never have to question any of those things or wonder why he's not there. He shouldn't be gone and miss these big events in her life."

"You're right." Peter replies with a sad smile. "But even if he's not here physically, he's still a part of you and Morgan. Plus, she'll have you for all those things, and even if it's not the same, you can still be there for her and remind her of all those things."

"I guess so." I take a deep breath before pulling away from Peter. "I'm ready if you are."

"You sure?" He asks but offers his hand nevertheless. I nod and stand up, keeping a tight hold of his hand.

"Is May coming?"

"Yeah, she called while you were still out. Happy's bringing her to the cabin."

"Do you know if they—?"

"Yeah, May did, but Happy didn't." His lips tug into a deep frown. "Do you—do you remember what happened?"

"Every little detail. All the way down to the sand in my mask and hair. I've been trying not to think about it, but it keeps coming back with everything else that's happened lately." I sigh and hold onto his hand a bit tighter. "Do you—do you really think we'll be okay?"

"I do." He grins and stops me. "I've been meaning to ask. Did you mean what you said on Titan?"

I smile despite the continuing ache in my chest, having a pretty good idea of what he's referring to, but I want to make sure. "Depends, which thing are you referring to?"

"When you told me you loved me."

"Yeah, I did." I smile and look up at him. "What did you change your mind?"

"No!" He shouts, clearly anxious that I'll misunderstand. "I just—I just wanted to be sure. It's not the best timing, but I do still owe you that date."

"Why does it feel like the universe is against us?"

"I don't know. If it's any consolation, I love you. No matter what the universe throws at us." His forehead leans against my own as he whispered the words like a wish he'd been holding in forever. "I love you."

"I'm sorry," I mumble as my lips tug down into a deep set frown.

"Why do you say that?"

"'Cause I have a feeling that one day you'll hate me for it." Peter watches me for a long moment, and I can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to come up with an explanation for my reply. "Don't look at me like that, please."

"Like what?"

"Like I just told you Santa's not real." I sigh and try to step out of his arms, but he refuses to let go. It makes my chest ache knowing he won't give up until he knows—one of the many reason I fell in love with him. "Everyone I love gets hurt, leaves me, or dies. I'd rather you hate me than for anything to happen to you."

Peter just shakes his head, bloodshot eyes staring into mine as one hand cups my cheek. "I never could hate you, and I never want to. We both went into this knowing the risks. Please, don't give up on me now."

"I'm not giving up. Just resigning myself to the inevitable." I sigh and try to fight the tears welling back up. "We aren't invincible. Everything that's happened has proved that, and I—I can't lose anyone else. I don't—I can't—if it happens again, I don't think can take it."

My breathing becomes ragged. Peter's face twists into knots as he pulls me closer until what little oxygen in my lungs is pushed out. "Deep, slow breaths." He whispers with a shaky voice as he brushes a hand through my hair. "You're going to be all right. We're going to be okay. I promise."

It takes me a long time to calm down, but Peter is nothing short of kind, patient, and loving the entire time. "Thank you, Pete." I whisper as I cling on to him. "I know how much he meant to you too, and I know you're hurting just as much as I am. I'm—I'm sorry for being selfish."

Peter immediately pulls back so he can meet my eye. "You're not in any way being selfish, Lia." His voice wavers on the edge of cracking, "You lost your Dad, and I know just how much it hurts. It's gonna hurt for a long time. All you can do right now is feel it—as hard as it is—and let the people who love you help you through. Okay?"

"Okay." I manage through struggling breath. There's a lurch as the quinjet lands. I have to take a deep breath and try to steady myself. My hand finds Peter's as the door lowers open. "I can do this. We can do this. Right?"

"Yeah, we can." He replies and gives me a soft smile. "We'll do it together."

Mum approaches us with a nervous smile. "C'mon, hon. I've got so much to show you. Not to mention, Morgan's gonna be so excited to meet you. She's grown up with stories of her big, superhero sister."

I crack a small smile at that. "I'm excited to meet her too. I just—I hope I'm not a disappointment."

"I doubt you ever could be to her." Mum replies and walks out. "Especially since you're her sister."

She starts heading out, but I can't bring myself to follow just yet. I mean, who am I compared to our Dad? Am I just supposed to just plop myself into the middle of her life and fill the whole he left? She never knew me before, and she would have be just fine without me.

At least, she would if she had Dad.

But Dad's not here anymore. He chose to make the sacrifice, which means he must have trusted me enough to know I can be a good big sister to Morgan. Even though I may not believe in myself right now, I still believe in Dad. I always have, and always will, just like he did for me.

It makes me smile a little and offers me the courage I need so badly right now. "Ready?" Peter questions as he squeezes my hand.

"Yeah. I think I am." I reply and begin to walk out with him and start facing whatever's coming next.