The Royal Dining Room.
Oredison Palace, Gazda.
The evening of the Welcome Dinner.

Despite Igell and Ross's worries over getting me to the dining room twenty minutes early, I found that I was the first one there. The table was set similarly to how it had been during the first welcome dinner. That had been over six months ago, and yet it still seemed like it happened yesterday. I felt those same nerves.

I'd been unsure of myself then, and I was still incredibly unsure of myself, but my feelings of inadequacy were different. Now, my anxiety was rooted in not knowing what Caine would do next. At that first Welcome Dinner, I hadn't even really known to be afraid of Viera. The Monroe Benson who had arrived at this dining room wearing combat boots and a pastel gown was starkly different from the girl I was now.

I felt powerful in this dress.

I hoped I could emulate Uri, maybe even a little of Viera. I hoped that when Caine looked at me, he saw a girl who would kill to be queen. I wanted to be that girl. And if it had been only Kinsley in the arena, I think I could've stomached it. I think I could have really dug into myself—buried my reservations in that dark, swirling abyss of power—and fought for the throne. I could have really wanted it if it didn't mean that my friends would have to die.

Those thoughts scattered as my guards stepped back into the hall and a footman moved forward to escort me to my seat. Just like that first dinner, there were name cards in front of each chair, one set before every silver-rimmed table setting. My chair was pulled out for me and I sat, trying not to overthink everything.

I was near the door, with Caine at the head of the table directly to my right. There was a name card for Anna across the table from me. So, Caine was keeping his two weapons close tonight. I wondered who he would abuse more, me or Kai's drugged mother. I didn't want to know.

Dread ate at my confidence, but I forced myself not to cave to it as I took in the other table settings. There were two names I didn't recognize—Darragh and Isla. Isla would be seated next to me, while Darragh was on Anna's other side.

At the end of the table was Kai's seat—where Viera had once sat. Cohen and Larkin had assigned seats on either side of him, with Cohen to his right. Nadia would be next to Cohen, with Graves between her and Isla. And then, next to Larkin would be Kinsley and Heidi.

There were fewer chairs at this table than there had been the night of the first welcome dinner, and yet the dining room seemed somehow fuller—more cramped. There would be a lot of power in this room tonight and I feared none of it would belong to me.

I watched as the footmen finished straightening things on the table. My hands ached and my skin itched with suppressed power as one man leaned across my seat and used a match to light the candelabra at the center of the table. I was offered water or wine. I'd never been one for alcohol, but just then, with Caine's arrival looming, I felt I needed some liquid courage.

Someone filled my glass with a purplish liquid. I didn't touch it. I didn't do anything as one by one they exited the room, leaving me alone with myself and a fire I could see, by no longer sense.

I was still watching the two small flames of the candles burn, the white wax dripping slowly down the silver sconces, when I heard footsteps. Instinctually, I stood up, preparing myself for Caine. My fingers dug into the white linen table cloth and I sucked in a deep breath, trying not to show my fear as a man rounded the corner.

I nearly collapsed in on myself as Kai appeared in the doorway. He must have seen my expression, because he stepped forward, a hand outstretched to me.

"No." I shook my head, trying to dismiss my relief and my desire to move towards him.

I couldn't.

We couldn't.

He remained where he was, standing at the head of the table as I sat back down. I kept my hands in my lap, my eyes locked on my mark. I'd only seen Kai wear a crown a number of times: once during his coronation, another time for interviews, and then again for Uri's funeral—which I hadn't been allowed to attend.

He wore a crown now too.

I didn't look up at him as he rounded the opposite side of the table and took his seat—Viera's seat. I didn't want to see if that crown was the same one that had fallen from Uri's head. I knew it would be. It was a greyish black matte, with glittering jet-black diamonds and onyx stones. It was the crown of a monarch in mourning. And we were still technically in mourning for Uri, even if the world seemed to have moved on without her.

His chair scraping the floor was the only sound in the room. The doors to the dining room were partially shut, but I knew guards lingered outside. We were trapped. We were always trapped.

I counted heartbeats. I counted drips of wax. I counted chairs, plates, forks. I counted every breath. I counted each second before Kai said—

"I got your note. In the aster book."

I glanced up at him, meeting his eyes for the first time. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find something else to say. I didn't know what I wanted from him. He'd said a lot of things yesterday and I was still trying to decide how I felt about it all.

His voice was no more than a whisper as he said, "I've left you another note in the Galanthus book. But...but I'll just tell you now, so you don't have to go searching for it." He swallowed and leaned across the table towards me. "I'm going to do what I can for Heidi and Nadia. I'm searching for a way out. I'm trying. Please, please just realize that I'm trying."

"How can we stop him?" I was unable to look at Kai as I breathed, "How can we ever stop him when he owns everything. He owns me, Kai. He decides what I can and can't do. He tells me when to eat." I glanced up; my throat tight with emotion as I looked at him. "Yesterday I drank two cups of tacet laced tea, because he told me to. Because he would have had it injected into me if I didn't. I'm an object to him."

"I know."

"Do you?" I blinked away the sudden burning in my eyes. "Do you have any idea what the hell you've done to us?"

He sat back in his chair. "If I could save you—even if it meant losing you—I would. But I don't know how to do it."

"I don't want to be saved. I'm going to be queen. I told you that yesterday."

"It isn't what you want."

"Yes, it is." I fought past clenched teeth as I said, "This is the Culling. It's a game. And this time—this time I'm here to win it. I'm going to take the throne."

"And marry me?" The question held within it a million other questions.

I leaned my head back, exhausted from all of this. "I used to dream of that, you know. Before all of this. When we were staying at my family's homestead, I imagined a life with you. One where we could have a home and children. A future without the Culling. I thought we could fight and win and maybe have it all. Goddess, I was stupid and naïve."

"And you don't dream of those things anymore?"

My hands hit the table hard enough to make the plates jump. "I dream of nothing. I am either blessed or cursed, I'm not sure which. Maybe I'm both. But either way, the things I wanted are long gone and I'm not going to hurt myself more by wishing for anything else."

"I'm sorry," his voice broke over the words. "Monroe, I'm so sorry."

"Every time I think I can forgive you—every time I think I can cave and fall back into your arms—I find something else that hurts. I remember something else that makes it all raw again."

I knew the guards were probably listening, but I didn't care anymore. Nothing about this was surprising. Anything they might tell Caine would only confirm what he already knew—which was that Kai and I were at odds. We were in love and we at odds.

Kai's voice was soft as he said, "Monroe—"

"We made promises to one another. Promises that relied on trust. And all the while you were hiding something that you knew would change everything. You were hiding your true self from me."

"You are the only person who has ever seen my true self, Monroe. I allowed you in—and I'd never done that with anyone before." He swallowed, his throat bobbing with the action. "I never meant to love you the way I do." He shook his head, dismissing our past. "I lied. I broke your heart. I put you at risk. We have the same conversation over and over again. And we both know I will never be able to apologize enough—"

"I don't want your apology. I want action. I want you to help me save my friends."

"I will." When I only shook my head, he whispered, "Monroe please look at me." I did, turning to see the sharpness in his expression—the pain and regret buried there. "I will," he repeated.

"Will what?"

We both jumped at the words.

The door creaked as Caine walked through, Anna was a step behind him, the nurse—Audra—at her side. I sat back in my seat, trying to turn my face so that Caine couldn't see the tears still lingering in my eyes. Kai fell back in his chair too, his expression shifting from concern over me to concern over his mother. I wiped hastily at my eyes, trying not to smudge the makeup Emilie had done.

By the time I turned to look at Caine, he was seated next to me, his smile wide and predatory.

"Well, don't you look lovely, Miss Benson." His eyes darted to Kai. "Doesn't she look lovely, Kaius?"

Kai's eyes found me again. For a moment, he just gazed at me, his lips parted—words formed there but unable to leave his mouth. I wondered what he'd say if Caine wasn't there, watching and listening.

I hated that I cared what he thought. I hated that, as I looked down at the dress I wore, I wanted his approval. I wanted him to smile at me. I wanted him to tell me what I already knew—which was that I was radiant tonight. I looked beautiful. I knew it. Birk was too damn skilled for me to be anything less. And yet, I still wanted to hear him say it.

I desperately wanted to give up on wishing, but I couldn't stop wishing that everything was different.

"She's beautiful," Kai whispered, his gaze wavering as he glanced between me and his uncle. When those golden eyes finally settled on me again, his words were earnest, meant for me alone. "You're a damn picture all the time."

***

Cohen arrived with two people I'd never seen before, a young man and woman who could only be siblings. They shared the same warm brown skin and jade green eyes. They were both tall too, at least six foot and made only taller by their crowns.

Kai's was dark, subdued because of royal mourning, but these two—they weren't following our customs. The man's crown was silver and shone starkly against the shaved black hair on his head. The woman's was smaller, more of a tiara than a real crown. It was inlaid with topaz gems that matched the gold dress she wore. I had no idea where they were from, but their presence automatically set Caine's teeth on edge.

His smile was tightlipped as he said, "Welcome."

He stood as he watched them walk into the dining room, his eyes cutting as blades as he took in the comfortable way Cohen walked next to the man. Guards flanked them and I was struck with the realization that it might be difficult, if not impossible, for Caine to pretend we weren't prisoners with visiting royals here. My anxiety lowered slightly as the woman moved to sit next to me.

Her name card read simply Isla, but I felt certain that there was a title missing.

That green-eyed gaze settled on me just as Cohen and the man split, moving towards their own seats. My attention was locked on Cohen as he took his place next to Kai. The tension rolling off the two of them was a physical thing.

A hand touched my arm and I turned to see Isla smiling at me. "You must be Monroe Benson. I've seen your picture in the papers." Her accent was thick, each word pronounced too correctly—as she was over-compensating.

I only knew my native tongue, but Vaylish was similar enough that I could usually figure out what Caine's guards were saying, even when they weren't using my language. But this girl, her accent was different from theirs. Where Kai's way of speaking was lilting and soft, hers was all angles and sharp syllables.

My hesitation must have come off as worry, because Isla gave my arm a squeeze. "And Cohen has told us about you too. He speaks very highly of you."

The man, Darragh, laughed at this, the sound rich and echoing. "Higher than I would have if you'd led a rebellion into my palace and killed my mother."

"Darragh," Isla chided. "Do not be unkind to our new friend."

"I didn't kill Viera, Cohen did." I met Darragh's eyes from across the table. "And I certainly didn't lead the rebellion."

His lips twitched and I could tell by the surprise on his face that he wasn't used to being talked back to. Isla's own smile faded slightly and her hand on my arm fell away. Under Darragh's gaze, she sat a bit straighter. "Well, either way," she said, "it's very nice to meet you." Her gaze darted around the room. "All of you."

The door to the dining room opened once more and Graves entered, Heidi and Nadia with him. They were both dressed in gowns as lovely as my own—Heidi in blood red and Nadia in lilac. Both girls were silent as they took their seats.

On tacet or not, Heidi's gaze was cutting. I remembered the feel of her ability—the way it warped the mind and tricked my senses. She'd had me believing that I was being strangled and all the while it had been my own hands.

Her ability let her sense what people were most afraid of and use that knowledge to manipulate them. I'm sure she'd seen plenty of fears when she'd looked at me. I was awash with terror constantly. My nightmares were a constant sea of strangulation, dark cells, dank alleyways, poison-laced food, a blood-soaked princess, the press of Larkin's boot against my face, the feel of Caine's eyes on me—assessing and undressing. And Kai. He was in my dreams too.

Sometimes he saved me, sometimes he was my tormentor. I hated both equally.

If I went up against Heidi in the arena, she would have no shortage of ammunition.

Watching those knife-like eyes turned on Caine, I wondered what his biggest fear was. Had she been able to tell before he'd put her on tacet? Had she thought to look for it? I'd pay good money to see her hurt him.

I'd pay good money to see anyone hurt him.

As Heidi collapsed into her chair her gaze shifted from Caine to me, it was then I saw the cut that ran down one side of her face. It stretched from her hairline, down her cheek, and nearly through her upper lip. It was puckered and red. Her stylists must have tried to conceal it, but their efforts had done little to disguise the jagged red line.

I opened my mouth to ask what had happened but stopped as Larkin and Kinsley arrived. Larkin's black dress was reminiscent of the gown she'd worn on Sauenmyde. That dress had been as beautiful as this one, the picture of a queen in mourning. I couldn't forget what it had looked like—how it had fit Uri too well. How, after weeks of torture at Larkin's hand, Uri had been a shell of herself. She'd been so easily mistaken for Larkin that no one had even hesitated. Larkin had traded dresses and masks with her younger sister. She's chained Uri to the throne. So, when Caine's men had fired, it had been Uri and not Larkin who had been shot.

Larkin was the one that should've been dead.

Kinsley's smile was tight as she caught sight of who was sitting next to me. As she took her seat she said, "They finally let you out on good behavior, Isla?"

Isla turned her gaze on Kinsley, her eyes narrowing as she took in the velvet green dress Kinsley wore. "You..." she paused, considering what she wanted to say—and probably translating it in her mind. After a second, her lips twitched and she said, "You are proof that some things never change. I like consistency. So, it is nice to see you are still a bitch, Kinsley."

I picked up my glass of wine, using the rim to hide my smile as I said, "I think we're going to be fast friends, Isla."

She laughed. "I am always happy to find new friends, especially friends who share the same interests as me."

I took a sip of my wine, but before I could set down my glass, I froze—the feel of Caine's hand on my upper thigh more than enough to make me halt. I glanced towards him, the liquid sloshing as my fingers shook around the glass stem.

"You will behave."

The words were quiet enough that the rest of the table didn't seem to notice—but Kai did. His gaze was heavy as he watched his uncle's hand move from beneath the table again. I relaxed as Caine moved away from me, his attention shifting to the conversation happening around us.

"I believe proper introductions are necessary," Darragh was saying. He looked to Cohen; his brows rose in question.

The prince shot him a tightlipped smile. "Everyone, this is Prince Darragh and Princess Isla Blackburn of Pellarmus." Cohen gestured to the two of them and then to us. "Would you like to introduce yourselves or...?"

Isla leaned forward to look down the table at Cohen. "I, for one, would like to know about these goddess-touched girls. I have been following the story, but who is to know what is true and what is false in the press?"

There was silence, so I spoke up to fill it. "Well, you said you already knew who I was, but I'll introduce myself anyway—I'm Monroe Benson. I'm goddess-touched and my ability is fire."

Isla clapped her hands together in delight. "Fire?"

Darragh's smile was wide as he nodded to the candelabra at the center of the table, "Well go on, show us."

My breathing hitched and I glanced towards the flickering flames there. For a moment, I looked inward, searching myself for the recognition, the connection between myself and the fire. But I came away empty.

Isla smiled, her expression alight with eager anticipation. "Well?"

I gripped the edge of the table. "Oh...I—"

"No." Caine cut me off. "She will do no such thing."

Isla's smile faltered and she glanced at her brother, who had leaned back in his seat and was now watching me with open curiosity. The princess cleared her throat. "Yes. Yes, of course. That would be inappropriate, especially at the dinner table. We—We'll just have to be patient." When Darragh didn't look away from me she said, "Isn't that right, brother?"

His green eyes darted to her. "Certainly."

"It is wonderful to meet you, Monroe." Isla touched my arm and then turned her shoulders to peer further down the table. "So, who is next?"

Nadia spoke up quickly, ready to divert attention from me. "I'm Nadia Reese. I'm from a smaller city in the east called Kaupei. I'm seventeen, goddess-touched, and my ability is healing."

"Oh, how brilliant," Isla said.

"And how old are you, Monroe?" Darragh asked.

It was only then I realized that he hadn't really stopped looking at me. There was something in his tone, a pointedness that told me he knew something—or at least suspected—something was going on.

"Eighteen."

"Very young to be trying to take a throne," he mused.

Isla nodded. "Twenty is our legal age. Any new crownings don't usually happen before that."

"Of course, we know Kinsley from our past visits. But what about you?" Darragh asked, nodding to Heidi.

Heidi picked at the tablecloth as she spoke, "I'm Heidi Larson. I'm fifteen and my ability is..." she glanced up at him and shrugged, "most people just call me a nightmare."

"A nightmare?" Isla repeated, her eyes widening. "How frightening."

"Yes," Heidi turned back to the tablecloth. "Yeah, you could say that."

"I thought you were fourteen," the words escaped me before I could think better of them.

Heidi's gaze turned on me and, regardless of her ability being suppressed, I felt the anger in her eyes. "I had a birthday."

I caught the unspoken words there. I had a birthday while locked in a prison cell.

Caine snapped his fingers and a footman stepped forward. "I think we're ready for our first course," he said, taking the attention away from Heidi and me.

"And who are you?" Isla asked, her attention moving to where Anna sat across from us.

She wore a light-yellow dress that seemed to somehow make her seem more ghostly than she already was. I was certain the stylists had meant to make her appear warmer, more alive—but the pale color made her look desaturated, like dried out fruit or wilting flowers.

When Anna didn't respond to Isla, Audra, who had been standing in one of the corners, stepped forward and laid a hand on her shoulder. Anna glanced up at her nurse; her chapped lips parting in confusion. She seemed more out of it today than she had when I'd see her yesterday morning. I wondered if Caine had upped the medication to make sure she was extra sedated for tonight.

Kai spoke up. "She's my mother. Her name is Anna Caine."

Isla seemed surprised by this. "Oh! I thought your mother was dead." One sharp look from Darragh had her covering her mouth with her hand. "I'm sorry. That was...what is the word? That was not good of me to say. I'm, of course, happy to hear that she is not dead."

Kai inhaled a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, using the time to compose his expression into a neutral one as he explained, "My birth mother is dead. Anna is technically my aunt. But she raised me."

Isla's face flushed an even deeper color, making her brown skin darken as she fought for something to say. After a moment she whispered, "I meant no offense. I—I was only—I am sorry if I was rude or—"

Kai shook his head. "It's a confusing situation. There's nothing to apologize for."

"At least you got an explanation from him," Heidi said snidely. "That's more than the rest of us have gotten."

Nadia made a sound at the back of her throat and muttered a quiet, "Please, for the love of the goddess, don't start something."

"So, tell me, Monroe," Heidi said, leaning over the table so she could see me better.

"Here we go." Nadia sighed and leaned back in her chair, resigned to whatever was about to happen.

Heidi's smile turned feral as she asked, "Are you on some sort of contraceptive tonic or should we expect news of a new little prince or princess any day now?"

***

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