"A lot of you cared, just not enough. And that. . . . that is what I needed to find out."

Footsteps echoed as her voice grew lower, emotionless.

"And I did find out."

I cared, Hannah. I did.

"And I'm sorry."

Then static. The tape was done, they all were. Those had been Hannah Baker's last words.

"I'm sorry."

Why was she apologizing? She hadn't done anything. . . or maybe she had. She had been there, stricken with fear in my closet, watching as Bryce raped me that night.

So had Justin.

The boy I trusted with my life, my boyfriend, had allowed his best friend to rape me. He hadn't told me he knew, he hadn't showed any signs he did. He acted the same around Bryce, he still hung out at his house.

"Jessica, honey! You better get ready for school." I heard Mom shout from the kitchen. I took one last swing from the bottle in my hand before pushing it under my bed, sniffling the clear my sinuses as I grabbed my backpack and the package I had wrapped up less than ten minutes ago. Ready to send on to. . . to Alex.

"Jess!" Mom sounded closer now. I hurried out of my room, shutting my door loudly behind me. I kept my head bowed as I headed for the front door, afraid Mom might catch me and force me to look at her.

"You aren't hungry?" One of my brothers asked, but I didn't have enough energy to see which one. I shrugged, offering my family at the table a tight smile.

"No. I'll see you after school." I waved, seeing my father ready to rise from his chair at the table and come after me. He could hear it in my voice, he knew something was wrong.

I jogged down the steps once I was outside, my eyes stinging. From alcohol or from everything I had just heard, I didn't know.

"Hey, Jess!" I slowed to a walk, lifting my head to find Zach's car on the road beside me. My eyes widened a fraction when I saw Justin in the back seat, his head resting against the window.

"Hey, Zach." I mumbled, continuing to walk.

"You need a ride?" He called out, his eyebrows arched. I shook my head, wiping at my running nose.

"I'm okay, thanks." I lowered my head again, keeping my eyes on my shoes.

"Come on, Jess. It's freezing and-"

"She's already got a ride!" My head whipped back at the sudden yell. Tony's Mustang was illegally parked beside the stop sign at the end of the street, his hand cupped around his mouth. I stared at him for a second, then let my eyes fall on Zach again.

Zach Dempsey. One of them, of us.

"Jess?" Zach gave me one last long look, revving the engine of his car. I waved him off once more, trying my best at a smile.

"I'm okay, Zach. I'll see you at school." He smiled then, a kind smile that made me insides turn inside out, before driving off. I caught Justin's eyes in the back of the car, his hand on the window slowly clenching into a fist.

I was ready to turn the corner opposite of Tony's car when he fell into step beside me, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"You finished the tapes." It wasn't a question.

"We killed her, Tony. She. . . we did it. Me, Justin, Zach, B. . ." Tony laid a comforting hand on my arm, a sad, bittersweet smile on his face.

"Hannah made the final decision, Jess. Hannah killed herself." I shook my head in desperation, my hands trembling as I tried to get him to understand.

"No. We all had a part, Tony. You listened to the tapes, you know. . . everyone's going to know about Bryce and Justin. . and. . ."

"Jess." He said my name softly, letting it roll of his parted lips without any emotion, "I want you to tell me if you want to do something, to report him to-"

"And what do you think will happen then, Tony?" I whispered, "His family is powerful, they'll fight their way out of the case. After all, I'm just one girl, and Hannah. . . Hannah's dead." He almost looked as if he winced in that moment.

It wasn't a wince of shock, or one someone may have if they're about to be hit. It was one of pain, and by the expression that broke out across his face, guilt.

"Jess-"

"I'm okay." I assured him, "I. . . I'm going to see if Justin tells me. I want to hear the words out of his mouth." Tony started walking ahead of me, his head lowered, hands deeper in his pockets now.

We walked the rest of the way to school like that, Tony never turning around to head back to his car. He stuck beside me, his shoulder occasionally brushing against mine. He stopped at the stop sign in front of the school, sending my stomach into yet another frenzy at the thought of what Sheri had done, what Hannah had done.

They had killed Jeff Atkins.

"I'll drop these off for you." He gently pried my fingers from the shoe box in my hands, his eyes not leaving mine.

"Aren't you going to come to school?" I whispered. I should have known the answer already. This was Tony, he rarely, if ever showed up to school. And if he did, he was usually with . . .with Clay Jensen.

"I will if you need me to, Jess." He responded, holding the shoe box under his arm. I stared at him in surprise, trying to find some sort of joking look in his eyes. He was serious.

"I don't." I lied.

I had never had more than a sentence conversation with Tony before, I barely even knew the guy that seemed to show up when I needed him the most over the last couple days. He had always just been another guy I passed in the hall, sort of like Hannah.

But there was a part of me, out there in the cold October breeze, that wanted to beg him to stay, to come to school in case I broke down in the middle of class. He was the only one that knew about the tapes, other than Justin, and I suppose as of right now, I trusted him far more than I did my own boyfriend.

"Jessica." He touched my cheek, swiping his thumb under my eye to catch a tear before it could roll on to my cheek.

"Tony." I replied, my voice shaky.

We stood there for a moment, his hand on my cheek, a look in his eyes that reminded me of the Justin Foley I had fallen in love with. A look in his eyes that reminded me of Alex Standall that first day we met behind Hannah's back. It was a look of security, protection.

But neither of them came to my rescue that night. The look in their eyes was nothing more than that; a look.

"I'm here for you, Jess. When you think you're alone, by yourself, locked up inside yourself, know that I'm out here, waiting to see you smile, okay? I'm only a call away." I stepped forward and buried my face against his chest, breathing out slowly to keep myself from crying.

I knew why he was doing it, but in that moment, it didn't seem to matter. Sure, he was offering this because he believed I could end up like Hannah Baker. But he was also handing me a way out, and maybe that's what I needed once all the tapes were through. I just needed a hand to hold on to, one of someone that understood.

*

I set my tray down on the table as gentle as I could, lowering myself slowly on to the bench. Justin was staring at me, his eyes glistening with tears. I thought there was a possibility that he would tell me then, that he'd open up and explain his side of the story. Then maybe, maybe there was a way I could forgive him.

"Did you listen to them?" I asked. It was a ridiculous question, but I was curious to hear the answer nonetheless.

"Some of them." I raised my eyebrows, shocked.

Had he not listened to his second tape? Did he not know that Hannah knew?

"It's my fault, Justin." My voice wavered, his hand resting on top of mine, "I killed her." He stood up, catching nearly everyone in the cafeteria's attention as he walked around the table and sat beside me, his arms snaking around my waist and pulling me into the familiarity of his warm embrace. I stared back at everyone over his shoulder.

Alex, quiet and alone at a table in the corner of the lunchroom, meeting my eyes once he realized I was looking in his direction. Tyler, his camera inches from his eyes. Courtney, a disgustingly big smile plastered to her face that didn't meet her eyes. Marcus, throwing his hand up to hi five Zach. Zach, his kind eyes on the lunch table under my dark gaze. Clay Jensen, his chin propped up on his hand as he listened to his surroundings. Bryce Walker with his signature don't-worry-about-it grin plastered to his face. He turned suddenly, his eyebrows raising when he realized he'd caught me staring.

Then he winked. He winked as if he was the same Bryce I had spend endless nights talking with at his house. The Bryce I had called my friend less then a month ago.

"Jess!" Justin caught my arm as I ripped myself from his grip and stood up, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Jessica." he chased me out of the lunchroom, following me into the girls bathroom, not caring if a teacher caught him in here.

"Who else is on there?" He demanded, taking my face in his hands. I shook my head, fighting against my mind telling me to pull away.

"You have to see for yourself, Justin." I said, "You'll be getting the tapes back. Figure it out then." He staggered back, slamming into the wall beside the door, his hands covering his face. I gripped the edge of the counter in my hands and turned to look at myself in the mirror.

I looked horrible. My hair was a tangled mess, greasy and unwashed, throwing into a messy bun. I hadn't cared enough to put make-up on, it would have just been smeared by my tears.

But it wasn't my physical look that had me staring at my reflection. It was my internal one. The vacant look in my eyes, the emptiness that I felt in the pit of my stomach. I started to turn my head back toward Justin, but I froze before I could.

Hannah was leaning back against the wall behind me, beside the full trash bin that hadn't been emptied in weeks. Her hair cut short, a smile on her face. Then I saw it, the look in her eyes.

The same look that I held in my own.

"Are you guilty, Jess?" She asked, pushing her bangs up to reveal the scar I had left above her eyebrow, "Do you regret what you did?" I started to hyperventilate, everything inside me beginning to unwind.

"Do you feel better now that I'm gone?" A scream rose in my raw throat as blood began to soak her from head to toe, her lips slowly curving downward, eyes narrowed.

"What's wrong, Jess?" she repeated as had before, "Isn't this what you wanted? Didn't you want me dead?" Then she leaned back against the wall and slid down it, her eyes, once innocent and kind, wide and lifeless as she rested her head against the trash bin.

"Jess?" I felt Justin's arms around me, but for the first time in months, it wasn't comforting. It only made things worse. I spun around, turning the faucet on to splash water on my face when I saw a blanket of blood had covered both of my hands. I cried out, scrubbing it off and watching the clear water turn red.

"Jess, baby. Hey, it's okay. I'm here."

Are you Justin? Are you really here for me?

I lifted my head back up again to stare in the mirror, at the terrified and empty girl that stared back.

"I killed Hannah Baker." I touched my reflection in the mirror, my throat closing up. Justin was shaking his head, his reflection beside mine looking nothing like Justin Foley, but a timid and broken boy that had taken his place.

"No, Jess. She killed herself." He pushed my hand from the mirror, a look of desperation similar to my own in his eyes. He wanted to believe that, didn't we all? Wouldn't we all?

But the truth was that I didn't kill Hannah Baker. Zach, Clay, Bryce, Courtney, Marcus, Tyler, Justin, Sheri, none of them killed Hannah Baker.

We all did it. We all killed Hannah. 

***AN***

Hope you guys enjoyed! 

Let me know what you thought! 

~ChasingMadness24