Ever scare yourself because of how dark your thoughts can get?

getting that urge to slide a knife into someone.

The urge to pull the trigger.

The urge to throw the match.

Thats what scares me.

My own family believes one day I will kill them in their sleep.

That hurts, ya know?

I wouldnt do it to my own family.

But I've fantasized about others.

Going over and over it again and again.

I've lost friend because of it.

Being a pyro and a sadist doesnt help.

It only makes it worse.

I wanna lit everything on fire.

See everyone in pain.

Just cause chaos.

My mom thinks I'm a Satanist.

Just because I like all things dark and creepy.

I hate it.

I do like devils and Satan, but I also love Angels and god.

God? do i believe in him?

Yes. I do.

But I hate him.

I hate him for the life he has given me.

But I dont worship any higher being.

I'm not an atheist, because I believe gods exist.

I have always been obsessed with Creepypasta, devils, witches/witch craft and all that stuff.

But just cause I love Killers, Devils and Witches, doesnt mean I want to be one.

Having a vivid imagination is nice, but when fantasizing about killing, it gets dark.

Its one reason why I love to write darker stories.

My friend just adds the love.

Now, she has a darker mind that can rival mine.

But it scares me.

What if one day, I do snap?

What then?

Is it bad that I lied?

I have thought of killing my family.

But

I

WOULD

NEVER

do

it.

It scares me. When you lose something, you never realize how much it means to you.

So.. Yeah. Thats the thing I'm scared of. Myself.

Every find someone,

the love of your life?

Your soulmate?

Your one and only?

It hurts when you lose them.

Your whole world just collapses.

Your heart shatters,

and you feel as if you have no purpose.

You want to give up.

To just die.

But what makes it worse, is this.

It was all your fault.

No one elses.

You made one mistake and it caust someone life.

And after you get over that, you fear loving another.

 You dont want anyone else's blood on your hands.

It's a weight you carry forever.

But what happens when you meet someone, and she bring light into your life?

You push her away, scared to hurt her.

  But she never goes away.

And when you get closer together, you look at her every day,

talk to her,

text her,

laugh with her.

But every time you do, you have to think hard.

Think about what to say,

What to think,

How to act.

Its hard.

Fearing that one day I will hurt my girlfriend.

Thats my second fear.

Losing or hurting the only person who loves me unconditionally and understands me.

Heres my favorite qoute;

"Never ignore a person who loves you,

cares for you,

and misses you

because one day,

you might wake up and realize you lost the moon while counting the stars."

Its my favorite because its true.

Now, tell me.

What do you fear?