He knocks again. Dammit! He's really not leaving.

"I can stand out here all day. I don't have any plans," he says as I peek out the peephole in the door.

Oh geez, the man has flowers and a basket of other stuff too. I have to let him in.

"I'm not decent, give me a minute," I say through the door.

I hurry and slip a bra on under my tank top and some shorts over my underwear. I hadn't bothered to get dressed when Leo came because well, it's Leo. As I run my fingers through my hair, I take a deep breath.

I unlock the door and slowly open it. "Hi!" he says cheerfully when he sees my face.

"Hi, um, sorry for making you wait. You caught me off guard."

"Can I come in for a minute?" He smiles and shifts the basket from one hand to the other.

He stands there, tall, tattooed, pierced, rocker guy. He holds a basket with a pink bow. He's such a contradiction. I have to let him in, he's so adorable.

I move to the side to let him in. He passes by me and sets the basket down on my coffee table in my living room. "I brought you some things that'll hopefully make you better. These though, put in water." He hands me a dozen red roses.

The heat rises to my cheeks.

"Thanks!" Taking the flowers, I find a vase in the kitchen. I hear Avery thinking about how nice and neat my apartment is, compared to his. While I fill the vase with water and cut the stem tips off the flowers, he appreciates what my feminine touch brings to the décor. I try my hardest to block his thoughts, but part of me enjoys knowing what he's thinking.

I place the flowers in the center of my dinette and smile as I admire the brightness they bring to the room.

"Your place is amazing!" Avery calls.

I return to the living room.

"It's a helluva lot more put together than my place." Avery chuckles and runs his hand through his loose curls. It's his tell. He does it anytime he's a little nervous, I've noticed.

Why do I make him nervous?

"Sit." I motion over to the couch. He sits and I join him.

"So, what's in the basket?" I ask with a smile.

He grins back at me and a waft of arousal hits my mind. It's so intense. I resist the urge to close my eyes and moan.

"Well," he says, slightly reaching over me and picking up the basket. He places it on my lap before he pulls out the first item. "Migraine medicine. Um, chocolate. This is my favorite movie, Rocky Horror, and since it's almost Halloween, I thought it was appropriate. A candle, my bandmate's girlfriend said helps headaches. She also told me sometimes cold helps, so this gel face mask is for that."

My heart races as I try my hardest not to cry. It's by far one of the sweetest gestures anyone has ever done for me. I bite my bottom lip in a frantic attempt not to lean over and kiss him. He notices...

"God, I wish I could kiss her."

I wish he would, as stupid as I know it would be. I'm supposed to be keeping my distance, and this is the opposite of that. This is far too familiar and intimate. I'm speechless.

We sit in silence. Avery's mind is a blank of thoughts, but his emotions are assaulting me and it's so intimate, it's almost dirty. Even though he isn't touching me, it's as if his hands are all over me. Caressing me. Holding me. I squirm in my seat as I throb for him. He's so dangerous. I can't do this...

"Um, I'll go now," he says after a long while in silence.

"No!" I nearly yell.

Shit! Why did I say no? He was leaving. That's what I want. Right?

"I'm sorry," I finally say. "I'm just not used to someone acting so nice and thoughtful."

"You're kidding, right?" he says, looking into my eyes with his piercing blue-gray orbs. "You must have guys busting down your door and doing nice things for you all the time."

I laugh. "No, far from it. If you haven't noticed, I'm awkward and weird. I have, um... anxiety. So, I stay in a lot and I socialize very little unless someone visits me. People like to go out, party, go to bars and clubs. Those places put me on edge. Too many voices all at once. Guys steer clear."

I don't mention to him I don't make it easy, even for guys who can overlook my—quirks. I had one boyfriend in high school and the rest of my encounters with men have been purely sexual. I usually go to their place, and I'm gone before they wake up. I'll leave a note, so I don't look like a complete bitch, but no number or any way for them to contact me. I like it like that, and until I met Avery, it had been enough for me.

Avery though, makes me wish for things I realize I can't have. I know if he knew the real me, he'd think I was crazy and run away as far as he could. It makes my heart twist with an aching pain to think of being rejected by him.

"Well," he says, interrupting my thoughts, "I think you're beautiful. I think it's okay to have flaws, and none of the things you mentioned seem like deal-breakers. I'm just asking you to give me a chance because something about you, won't let me take your constant rejection and avoidance, and move on."

I sigh. "Avery, I'm sorry I've made it so tough on you. Don't take it the wrong way. It isn't you. My life is just so complicated and strange. I'd rather not drag anyone else into it."

"That's not fair, Alice." He grabs my hand and a jolt of electricity runs from our hands throughout my entire body. "Why don't you let me decide if your life is too much for me to handle. I might surprise you."

"I'm afraid." I can't believe I admitted that out loud, and to him of all people.

"That, I can completely understand. But what kind of life are you living if all you do is in the avoidance of pain or hurt? You're missing out on a lot of amazing experiences. I want to get to know you better. So please, have dinner with me?"

By the end of his speech, I'm ready to have so much more than dinner with him. My mind races with his emotions and mine. The room feels alive, and it buzzes with energy. I breathe heavily as if I might pass out. Quickly, I place the basket on the coffee table in front of me, drop my head between my knees, and start slowly breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth in a circular pattern.

"Alice, are you okay?" Avery rubs my back as I try to regain normalcy to my breath and put up some mental walls. I'm experiencing both of our emotions too raw. It's overwhelming.

"I will be. Just give me a minute," I respond. He continues to rub my back gently. His warm hands feel so good, I yearn to have his arms wrapped around me.

As if he can read my mind, he scoots closer and puts his arm around me. I immediately sit back up. His face is now mere inches away. I look at him with what must be a deer in the headlights kind of expression because he moves back a little, giving me space.

Not listening to the part of my brain that's telling me to run, I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his strong shoulder. He pulls me in close and wraps his arms tightly around my waist. He leans his head against mine and with a deep breath, relaxes into my body.

Strangely, it's so natural and comfortable. It's as if we know one another better than we do. Sure, we've technically known one another for nine months, but we haven't exactly sat and had many hearts to hearts like we have today.

The warning bells in my mind go off with a blaring noise. Don't let yourself get too close, Alice.

It already feels too late for the warning to do me any good. I reluctantly lift my head and allow my arms to slide off his neck. He slowly releases me. His eyes fill with concern, affection, and a little hope.

"I'll have dinner with you," I say.

A smile crinkles the corners of his eyes and I mentally swoon. "Okay, how about next Friday night?" he asks.

"Yeah, that'll be fine." I smile. "Um, I have to shower now though. My friend Trish is coming by for a girl's night in."

"Oh! Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you for so long," he stammers.

"No, it's fine. I'm kind of glad you came by."

He stands and smiles down at me. "Well, I'll head out then." He walks towards the door.

I get up to follow him. He opens the door and pauses before he steps out. "Alice, thanks for giving me a chance. I can tell it isn't an easy thing for you to do."

I gather my courage and move in close to him, pressing my lips softly to his cheek. As I back away, I say, "Please, call me Al. It's what my friends call me. Thanks again. For everything."

He reaches out and puts his hand to my cheek before he leans in and kisses my forehead. My eyes close as his lips linger. "You're welcome, Al. I'll see you soon," he whispers. He releases me and walks out the door, towards the stairs to go back to his apartment.

I close the door, lean against it, shut my eyes, and sigh. The swirling of my insides eases up a little. I gather my things and jump into a shower. Hours later, when I get a text from Trish that she's outside, I still can't hide the cheesy grin on my face.

"Hi!" she yells when I open the door.

I grab the pizza from her hands and place it on the coffee table. She puts down the bottle of pink wine, takes off her coat, and comes and gives me a tight hug.

"Feeling better today?" she asks.

"Yeah, much better. Thanks for coming by and hanging out with me."

"It's my pleasure. I miss you!" She spots the basket on the table. "Who is that from? Let me guess, Leonard, right?" She rolls her eyes.

"Um, it's actually from Avery. He came by earlier."

"What?" She drags me to sit. "Tell me everything!"

She rummages through the basket, smiling as I tell her about our meeting in the hall the day before.

"So today, after Leo left, he showed up at my doorstep with that basket."

"Oh my god! Hot and thoughtful? Please tell me you said yes to dinner. Better yet, please tell me you dragged him into your room and thanked him with that neglected thing between your legs." Trish pouts and shakes her head in pity for my poor neglected snatch.

"For fuck's sake Trish! Who do you think I am?" I roll my eyes.

"I know who you are. I'm hoping you put her aside and had some damn fun for a change!" She gently nudges me.

I sigh and roll my eyes again. "I agreed to dinner. I thanked him with a kiss."

Her eyes light up.

"On the cheek," I add.

She frowns. "You might as well join a goddamn convent. You're practically a virgin again."

"Trish, things aren't as simple for me as you make them seem."

"Al, why is that? You always say your life is so complicated, but you never tell me why. What are you hiding from me?" she practically yells.

"You wouldn't understand," I say while I shake my head.

"Try me, Al!" she replies in frustration.

"Trish, maybe when I figure it out completely, I can explain it to you. But until then, I need you to trust me when I say, it's best you don't know all the details yet."

"Oh my god, Al! Don't you realize how worried that makes me? Are you sick? Oh my god, don't tell me it's cancer! Your headaches! Is it brain cancer?" She glares at me questioningly.

I think about letting her believe it might be something like brain cancer for a while, but immediately decide against it. That would be cruel.

"No not cancer, but I don't know yet. So please, when I get it figured out, you'll be the first to learn." I place my hand on her shoulder.

I hate lying to her. But how do you tell your best friend of ten years, the only friend you've had throughout high school, that you hear her thoughts, feel her emotions, see spirits, and have shit flying off shelves, without sounding entirely certifiable.

"Can we just enjoy the pizza, wine, and the movie?" I pick up the Blu-ray copy of Rocky Horror Avery brought me. "How about this?"

We watch Rocky Horror and have a good time together. Trish stops trying to get answers out of me, and we spend the night gossiping instead.

After Trish leaves, I lay down in bed and get ready to sleep.

I drift off easily, but the dreams come. I dream dreams that are much too real to be only dreams.