**Quote: "I don't know the actual meaning of maturity, but for me, maturity is when a person hurts you and you try to understand their situation rather than hurting them back." ~~Unknown.**

Chapter 7

Eliza flys the both of us to her house, which is pretty impressive considering how tiny her wings are. But the time we land in her back yard, our silence is getting a bit awkward. Sadly my pride is still bruised and I can't bring myself to be the person to speak up. So I do the mature thing and give her the silent treatment, only she is doing the same thing to me and her slicing eyes are like looking into a burning fire not to be neared or touched. Anyone with a brain would find this scary as hell.

Without saying a word she walks right past the back door and around the corner of the house. I follow just so I'm not left with a clueless look on my face in the middle of her yard. When we round her mothers garden, filled with little purple and pink blooms, I squeal with a little clap of my hands as I see my old truck parked in the drive way. I missed my old rust bucket!

I turn to Eliza with a huge smile on my face and almost all of my anger has fallen away as I see her cloudy grey eyes soften. She and I are always like this. Fighting until there is nothing but glares between us. Then she ends up doing some small thing that makes me smile, and no one I have ever met has resisted my smile.

She jerks her head in the direction of her front door and our apologies pass silently between us as we make our way into her house. As soon as we enter I'm not surprised to hear clanging in the kitchen where Eliza's mother is most likely cooking something up.

"We need to talk with her about her involvement in all this." Eliza's whisper makes me stop only a foot from the kitchen.

"She is a-" My startled response is interrupted by a soft voice.

"Angel? Why yes I am. And I rather like to think of myself as the den mother of you five." Lily's words yank at my heart strings and I feel the now familiar anger come back.

"You mean you aren't Eliza's mother?" Even as I ask the question I know I kind of figured it out before all this. I mean Eliza came down to this earth as a teenage angel. I doubt she needed a mother.Yet Lily was the woman who would put her arm over my shoulders and hold me while I told her of my mother. I would tell her about my father and trust her not to alert anyone. She would always threaten to get my father locked up but she seemed to understand that by doing so I would be put into a system with no hope of the future I had planned for myself. She had even spoken of legally adopting me. She was the mother I always wanted and she truly loved me. Now I find out that all this time she has lied to me.

"Now don't get all angry sweetheart. We only did this to keep it more safe for you. This way we could let you grow old with a normal life. When you would die and become a angel we would confront you about the truth. I was placed in your life as a calming piece. Something to help you with your life. It has been an honor to work for the Phoenix." Lily looks more serious then I have ever seen her as she tilts her head forward in a way that would only be given to royalty.

I suddenly realize how much these people-or angels- look up to me. They respect me in a way that only comes after I have done something great and measurable of this power I have been given. All of that comes crashing down upon my shoulders and I have to grip onto the nearest side table to keep from staggering over.

"What's wrong?" Lily is suddenly right next to me and her soft hands are running the length of my arm. I can tell she is trying to comfort me but she doesn't understand why I'm freaking out.

I shut my eyes tightly so the wave of nauseous energy stops flowing through me. Only when I feel a gentle hand slide over my shoulder do I look up. Pepper is in the place Lily had been standing only a moment before.

Suddenly I feel the smoothest sensation take over my body starting from where her hand is placed. The feeling is like a cool salve spreading over a scorching burn. My nausea immediately fades away and it's replaced with a almost natural calm.

I straighten up and with a shaking hand I grip Pepper's shoulder, offering her a thankful grin in return. "Thanks Pep, that has to come in handy."

She laughs and wraps one of her arms around my waist giving me a slight squeeze. "It only comes in handy with you. You are the only one I know who has complete freak outs when she gets overwhelmed." Eliza shakes her head as she enters the kitchen.

Pepper tilts her head to the side and I see her eyes scanning me for any further problems. When she finds none she slides away from me and points a manicured finger to Eliza's room.

"I need to make a few phone calls before I join you all for dinner. Try not to miss me to much." Right before she enters Eliza's room she throws me a air kiss.

I use the calm that Pepper had just given me to enter the kitchen where Eliza is sitting on the island and Lily is chopping lettuce up on a cutting board. They are both silent and I know they are waiting for me to ask something. Here we go.

Let's start with the first thing I noticed coming into this house. "What kind of angel are you?" I direct the question to Lily and she doesn't even pause as she starts chopping carrots next.

"I am Eliza's Messenger, and I have been since she was first put into this world."

That makes sense. It seems that angels come in threes: Messenger, Healer, and the Guardian Angel.

"Alright so next question...why did you call me the Phoenix just a bit ago?" I don't really know why that's so important but I feel like any leverage I can get I should take it.

Eliza snatches a piece of celery from Lily's cutting board and munches on it before answering me. "Well the story of the Phoenix is a bird who has super natural powers of some sort. When it dies it burst into ashes and from that dust a new bird is born. You were given this nickname so that when it is used any one who hears it knows how powerful you are. It protects your real name and identity as well among the Fallen."

The nickname makes me sound mysterious and, as Eliza put it, powerful. The fact that I have to full fill the true meaning of that name terrifies me.

"So you are saying that every angel looks up to me as some big role model?"

"Well no offense but you are kind of a small role model from their view point." I know her use-humor-to-diffuse-the-tension voice when I hear it, but this time it's not working as well as it should.

"I'm only human though! I can't live up to these expectations that everyone seems to be wanting from me. I don't have my memory fully restored, I have no super ninja skills, and most of all I would rather be reading a book then chopping evil guys heads off." I'm breathing a little harder than before and even though it's easier to except most of what they are telling me, I can't become the angel I was once before.

Eliza throws her head back and laughs. Her laughter booms around the room and it makes me loosen up just a bit.

"Calm down crazy lady! You should appreciate the power we are giving you."

Lily slams her knife down into the board so hard it wobbles in the air. "Don't mess with her, Eliza." She walks around the island and swats Eliza on her knee. Coming to me she grabs my hands and holds them between her own. I feel the motherly affection practically radiating from her as her expression goes deadly serious.

"Marie if you don't become who you were when you were an angel then we all have no hope. The beacon of light that led us will extinguish and the whole Fallen army will know. There will be nothing to stop them from advancing on us. Nate is the best leader there could be, but our numbers are dwindling. The result will kill us all." Her eyes softened and she presses one of her hands to my cheek. "But you will never be alone in this. Never. Do you understand?"

My mouth snaps shut and I feel anger. At myself. Here I am whining about how hard this is all going to be on me, all while thousands of other angels are relying on me as they fight in this war. I may not be an all powerful angel at the moment but I can try my best to give these angels what they are looking for.

With new determination I lift my chin a few notches and give them the best determined smile I can conjure up. Eliza hops off the table and pushes playfully at Lily.

"See there's that tough nerd I know and love. Now come on I can feel a question coming on and I'm starving. So let's get this over with and then we can all eat while watching a cheesy horror flick." Eliza says this while trying to nab another piece of celery from the cutting board. Lily promptly does a impressive job of driving her butchers knife directly between Eliza's first two fingers.

"Oh...nice aim Lily!" Sure it's a little creepy that the woman I consider my mother just did a very scary looking knife move on my best friend, but still it was pretty cool.

"What do you mean? I missed." Lily says this with the casualty of a weatherman. Eliza just smiles with a challenge in her expression while Lily goes right back to chopping vegetables.

"So are you going to ask the question that you've been wondering for a day now?" Eliza questions.

"Well when you were describing angels you said that we always come back remembering everything. And I also understand that no one has ever died and come back as a human right?" Eliza nods her confirmation and Lily stars pouring noodles into a boiling pot. "Well when Nate showed me my last life it was a long time ago. So how did I come back decades later with no memory, and no angelic powers?"

"When Nate killed you to keep you from being trapped in Patellina the archangels were more than a little pissed. They wanted to punish all of us for letting it happen. But mostly they wanted you punished for going against twelve Fallen with no back up therefor causing Nate, one of the most decorated angels alive, to take drastic actions. So they trapped you in Patellina and they trapped us on earth to live without you. They couldn't keep you there forever though. So they returned you during this time period." Eliza's face has suddenly been etched into stone but her eyes...they hold something so sad yet livid that I wonder how she still manages to smile everyday with that much anger held within her.

"But your long stay in Patellina was more damaging then any of us expected. When it was time for you to come down your mind and soul had been so damaged that it was impossible to come down to earth in the traditional way. So to keep yourself from combusting on the way down you thought it would be safer to enter the world as a human with powers.

"It took us forever to figure this out and another forever to track you down. When we finally did we had to keep our distance. Putting a teenage human into all this mess was more than a little crazy-"

"So we had to wait it all out and try to not murder that bastard father of yours. Now that you are eighteen we decided it was time to confront you. Come over here and help me set the trays up in the living room so we can eat and watch this horror movie." Lily interrupts in her I'm-the-mother-in-this-room voice and so Eliza and I don't hesitate to help.

As we set up the trays in front of their couch and recliner I can't help but feel a sudden burst of hatred to the archangels that out of spite they took away years of my life. Years of the life I could of had with my family taken away. And now I can't guarantee I will be the strong leader to these angels who ask for it. When I look back at Eliza again she seems to be happy again but I can see the anger and sadness that clouds around her.

I wake up to the sound of bacon sizzling and the smell of coffee brewing. Which is the most heavenly thing on earth that could ever disturb my beauty sleep.

Last night Pepper, Eliza, Lily and I ate till we were about to burst and then finished it off with melted chocolate chip cookies. While we stuffed our faces we watched some netflix movie called The Ward. But really I just enjoyed the feeling of having a girls night where I can eat as much ice cream as I want and not be judged.

Sitting up from my curled position beneath a fuzzy blanket on Eliza's floor I realize that I'm alone.

Getting up I stretch my hands above my head to try and get the knot out of my back. I look around and spotting a brush haphazardly balancing on the edge of Eliza's side table. Snatching it up I quickly drag the brush through my tangled frizzy hair. All it does is make it more freaked out so I decide not to mess with the wavy beast anymore.

I think it would be best to not go out with my breath of death so I make quick work of brushing my teeth in the bathroom right across from Eliza's bedroom. When I am finished and I walk out the hushed voices reach me.

Taking a few silent steps I can't help but lean against the wall that separates me from the kitchen and the angels I'm listening in on.

Immediately I recognize the girly voice of Pepper's and I can tell by the faintness of her snappy tone that she is by the oven.

"She needs as much training as she can get. With the Fallen knowing exactly who she is, where she is and they have no fear in striking then that means two things. They don't know who she has with her and they don't know she is human."

Eliza's voice joins in."So here are the pros and cons of that. Pro: they won't strike her down if they think she still has her powers. Con: if they figure out that she is human then they will come after her no hesitation. Pro: they don't know that she has the full force of the angels army to back her up. But what's the point of teaching her to fight when the only difference she will make if she goes against a Fallen is maybe give him a black eye." Wow thanks Eliza for the vote of confidence.

"Think about it. Marie is the most powerful Healer in the world. So now that we have told her our story it is only natural instinct to repair what has been broken. If we trigger the old training she received she could become skilled in fighting in a matter of weeks." Pepper says.

"I guess that could work if you could get the girl to stop engulfing bags of chocolate a night." Lily says and her voice bounces so I have no doubt she is the one cooking.

The voice that comes next is deep and smooth. It's also so close it makes me wish I was not hiding behind a wall so I could see his face. "If we can get Marie to look like she can fight and look like she still has her angelic powers then any Fallen around planning an attack will be wary of her ability to defend herself."

As soon as Nate says this there is silence and I think that they are all nodding at him. They may all be friends in there but he is still the one in charge, and whatever he decides sticks.

I am about to walk around the corner and make my appearance known when a hand clamps down on my shoulder. I feel the pit of my stomach drop and a loud gasp escapes me as I spin around to see a grinning Royce. How could I forget the fact that the kitchen was so silent without him?

"What do you think you are doing giving me a heart attack like that?" I punch his arm and scowl furiously.

Royce just smiles even bigger. "First off-OW! And secondly I was watching you creepily stand in this dark hallway and listen to their conversation. Come on Marie, save the creep factor for actual stalkers. They do it the best you know." He has the nerve to wink at me before walking past the living room and into the kitchen.

With embarrassment written all over my cheeks I go into the kitchen where I find Lily flittering around the kitchen, Eliza perched where she had been last night, this time with Royce wrapping his arms around her waist. Pepper stares at me with a perfectly lip glossed smile and she is the only girl not in pjs. Instead she wears skinny jeans and a loose green top that accents her dark skin and hair.

But the only one I really notice is Nate. He is leaning against the sink with his arms crossed over his chest. I cant help my eyes as they flicker over his long lean form that is covered by dark jeans and a blue shirt. When I meet his eyes I see arrogance sparkle in his eyes.

I think I just got busted checking out my newly acquired fiancé.

"Are you enjoying the nice view?" Nate's voice is as arrogant as his expression is.

I cock my head to the side as if I'm confused. "I haven't seen one yet. But as soon as I do I will inform you."

Everyone in the room burst into laughter as Nate smirks and steps closer to me, a challenge in his eyes now. Before he can get another step in Lily moves between us and points to her giant oak table.

"Everyone sit to eat before you pass out from hunger." Lily commands.

Luckily as we load up on bacon, French toast, and orange juice no one mentions the fact that I had been listening in on their conversation. I don't question anything I heard about me needing to train like a soldier. But that doesn't mean it doesn't stop running it through my mind.

I'm not stupid enough to have thought that I wouldn't have to fight. This whole situation made me understand the amount of work I'm going to have to put into it. But this isn't the movies. Bad guys aren't predictable and I'm not invincible. I could very well die at any time, training or not. And then a sickening awareness dawns on me. One of the angels surrounding me could be killed with red rock and never wake up. I'd much rather die then live through a day without any of them.

"You look like someone just put a worm on your bacon." Eliza voices and since she knows me better than a common lie I decide to change the topic.

"So where exactly are you taking me to train?" I ask.

"Fine change the subject. But remember as all these secrets pile up you will one day drown under the weight." Eliza says casually buttering her toast.

"Thanks sunshine, just what she needs. We are all going to Nate's house. There is something we need to show you." Pepper says. She throws a smile my way and looks at my pjs pointedly. "But you may want to change out of your I heart Coffee pants before we leave."

I detect the slight disappointment in her voice at my non-fashionable choice of sleep wear but really I could care less. They are the fuzziest things I have in my bag and the statement they bare is very truthful.

Keeping my mouth shut tight I look down and see my plate has been cleaned of all the fattening breakfast and I can tell that I'm full to the bursting. I think it would be best to change now into something more workout worthy.

They continue their conversations as I get up and start towards Eliza's room. When I glance over my shoulder I find Nate looking after me, a smirk curling his lips. He mouths the word payback to me and I practically flip over the couch I just about ran into. Heat rushes to my cheeks as I realize he had been getting back at me for checking him out earlier. That means he had been checking me out.

I really couldn't find one thing wrong with that. I was wearing really baggy pjs, with no makeup, and my hair was still frizzy. Yet he found something about me attractive.

After changing into tan cargo pants and a short sleeve black T, I pull my hair into a tight pony tail, I was ready to go. Walking back into the kitchen I find the dishes cleared off and no body there. Feeling a slight annoyance at not being told they were going out already I jog to the back door.

If we are going to fly, which I assume we are, then they probably aren't going to fly off in plain view. Walking out the door I find them all standing with their backs to me. I notice two things immediately.

One, they have long slits in the back of their shirts so their wings can easily pop out. I realize this is the reason why I never saw Eliza or Lily without some type of jacket or slip. It covered the holes in their shirts.

Two, Lily has soft pink wings that look just about the size and color of Pepper's wings. But right at the bottom is a baby blue color that adds to her soft character.

Royce is the first to turn around and notice me. His big grin is in place like usual and he beckons me over with a wave of his hand.

"I know I am stunning to look at but really did you have to stand there that long? You are embarrassing me." Royce taunts.

I walk over and ignoring his comment I look at Nate, who just stands there staring at me.

"So are you going to be the one flying me there?" I ask a sliver of excitement getting stuck in my words.

Nate doesn't answer but instead just holds out his hand for me to grab. It's becoming slightly easier to be near him. Well easier in the sense I don't completely feel like I'm about to faint.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Eliza roll her eyes and before I can turn to her and say something Nate has us soaring through the air.

By the time we land in Nate's yard Eliza and Royce are already arguing.

"Really, you think super hero movies are better than horror movies?" Eliza says with chipped ice scattering among her words.

"Of course they are! I mean the last movie you watched had a terrible plot line. Everyone died except the dog." Royce replies.

"Yes but it was scary. And your movies about some chick that can manipulate things with her mind, oooh so scary." This time I'm offended.

"Jean Grey is one of the coolest characters in the X-Men series!" I proclaim and Royce reaches over Nate to give me a high five.

"Hey geeks, shut it will you. I can't stand another mention of your nerdy world." Pepper demands as she enters Nate's house.

We all fall quiet as Pepper leads us into the living room. Nate strides over to the brick fireplace, and without hesitating he kneels down onto the floor and punches a random brick, close to the stack of wood. I can't hold back the gasp as the brick easily slides back and there is a barely audible click in the wall.

Stretching his hand over the place where the wood would sit, he traces his fingers along something, and with a hard shove the back of the pit slides open.

He turns around with a mischievous glint to his eyes and pulls my hand into his. "I think it's time you meet an old friend."

I can't even begin to imagine what or who is in a super secret room, worthy of any spy movie, but it sends a nervous flutter in my stomach.

"Well let's move on then. She isn't going to wait all day!" Eliza burst out, but when she gets to me her expression softens if only for a moment. "Don't worry, there is no reason for us to get rid of you in a secret dungeon." She pauses for a dramatic moment before raising her eyebrow. "Yet."

The tension in my shoulders drops completely and I burst into laughter along with everyone else in the room.

"Well then by all means you may go first." I playfully push Eliza towards the opening.

"Chicken!" She dodges into the passage way before I can swat her.

Nate touches my arm with a reassuring smile before heading in after her. Pepper bumps me with her hip as she passes by, and I'm beginning to think that is her trademark move.

"Don't worry girl, we have got your back."

Royce throws an arm over my shoulder and with his goofy grin in place he pulls us into the dark crevice.

"This my friend is our very own secret lair. It may not connect to a massive mansion like Bruce Wayne's but it has done us well in the past."

I barely pay attention to Royce as my heartbeat rapidly speeds up since we are walking in the pitch black, and the air is growing cooler as we seem to be descending down a sloping floor.

"It's underground..." My remark sends Royce into a chuckling fit.

"Great deduction skills Sherlock."

I elbow him in the ribs as we continue downward for a couple more seconds. "If I was Sherlock my hair would be wavy and black. My eyes a startling blue and my cheek bones would be so sharp you could cut yourself."

"Are you still obsessing over Benedict Cucumber?"

We are nearing the end of this creepy tunnel, towards a dim light. "His name is Benedict Comberbatch." I pronounce each syllable of his last name so he gets the idea.

"I know, I'm just messing with you, Cat." I almost forgot the very mundane nickname that Royce had given me before all this mess. I feel the foolishly large smile stretch across my face at the familiarity that the nickname brings.

It quickly falls away as we finally step into the largest room that I have ever been in my life.

It stretches as wide and far as a football field with a extra few meters added on each side. Floor to ceilings are made completely of solid grey stone. Columns twist their way up to the top and torches lit with fire line the walls. Not that I really care but the curiosity at who takes this time to lights these torches burns around me. I feel as if I have just stepped into a Middle Ages dungeon where the soldiers are kept to train.

I'm not even going to start on the rows and rows of weapons that hang on the walls like trophies.

"I'm glad you like our work. It took us seventy-five years just to make this room to perfection. These swords alone that you see took me fifteen years to collect." Pepper smiles from across the cavernous room and gently slides her fingers down the shaft of a mace, like its a little puppy.

"It wasn't all you and you know it." The voice bounces out from behind one of the columns and I swing my gaze to catch a glimpse of the newcomer.

When she steps out into view I can't help but to stare with open curiosity. She is dressed oddly in a pinstriped suit, complete with a vest and her white button-up sleeves are rolled past her elbows.

Oddly enough the girl is wearing red converses, that are slightly scuffed around the edges, with her business like attire. And then it hits me full in the face on why she struck me as strange.

"That outfit...it looks like...um." My sudden realization pops out before I can stop it and I'm left with my mouth hanging open in a fish like manner.

"It looks like the tenth doctor from Doctor Who, does it not? I'm impressed, not many would get that." Her voice holds a certain amount of sarcasm in it with humor laced in every syllable.

Eliza and Pepper look at each other with exasperated expressions. "Another nerd to accompany Royce and Marie. Great."

The girl just smiles at me and walks over with the grace of someone used to being noticed. I notice her all right, and it amazes me how I can meet so many all powerful angels like me who have the same geeky obsessions as I have grown to love.

"I would've worn the bow tie as well but that is more of the 11th doctors territory. My name, as I can tell you can't remember me, is Jamie Vincent. But everyone calls me Jem for short."

It seems to happen more and more as I meet old friends, but I can't help the grin that stretches across my face in a wide arch. I already like this girl. She has the most exotic hair I have seen in a while. It's cut short and spiked right at the top like a tornado had taken it's time to whip it up. Her milk chocolate eyes spark with a fire that most wouldn't be able to miss.

Nate walks up behind her and winks at me. "I hope you both enjoy your reunion. We all have business to get to. "

"Oh yeah really important war stuff to deal with." Royce doesn't bother to hide his devious smile.

"What's going on here?" Pepper steps up and puts a small hand on my shoulder for comfort.

"Ok everyone get out. Marie and Jem need to get to work." Her voice is more commanding than I would have expected from someone as perky as her.

No one argues, but Nate comes to my side as if by habit and kisses my cheek in such a gentle way it sends sparks shooting right down to my toes and I loose track of my breath.

He smirks at my reaction to the simplest of touches but he leans back anyway. "Was that alright? The last thing I want is to force you into something that you don't feel comfortable with." I can tell his words are sincere and yet I can't seem to find that reliable logical voice that usually tells me to slow down.

With deliberate slow movement I manage to lean in close, and not melt at the heat and power surrounding his whole body. "How about you take me on a real date soon and then we can decide exactly what I'm comfortable with."

"Deal." His breath is warm against skin and this time his kiss on my cheek last a moment longer that before.

Finally he leans back and walks backwards toward the secret passage way. He doesn't once look back to see where he is going and he never so much as stumbles.

"Show off!"

"Anything for you, my love!"

Our yells vibrate around the room and I try to fight the girlish giggle that seems to be bubbling up at the sight of him throwing me one last wink, and then heading up the dark tunnel.

When I turn around I find Jem and I are the only ones left in the dungeon. She is showing her amusement by casually flipping a Japanese throwing star in her hand and smirking at me.

"What?"

"It's just good to see you guys getting along again."

"Oh we aren't together-I mean we are engaged. Well I mean we are not dating." When Jem starts to laugh I finally just give up and chuckle along with her.

"Wow...that came out really terribly."

"It's alright. I heard what happened. Those bastard Fallen's will do anything to win. Trust me I understand." Her sudden change in mood makes me curious. I saw the bright light inside her eyes dim.

"What kind of angel are you? I mean you mentioned that I don't remember you, and Nate said you were an old friend. So if I want to get to know you again I might as well learn the basics."

Jem sets her throwing star down and walks swiftly toward me and for a moment I feel extremely intimidated. Eliza shows off her toughness with her words and that, "Just try me, I dare you", expression. Nate has his muscles, and dark looks that practically scream danger. Royce and Pepper really just have the attitude that sets them apart from the softies.

Yet Jem has this silent anger that only comes out when she wants it to, and right now it's scaring the hell out of me.

"It's true you and I were good friends back then, I even trained and fought along side you. But that does not give you full access to my personal life, understand?"

I feel the spark of anger, it fires the monster inside me awake but I real it in. Instead I just step closer to this very scary looking girl that is just about the same height as me and I narrow my eyes.

"I understand completely but if there is trust in our friendship don't you think I deserve a little information?"

For a second we just stand inches apart in a silent standoff until she cracks a grin. "Glad to see that fire is still there. And since you passed my test I will grant you a token. I was a Guardian Angel until my Healer and Messenger were both killed."

While she steps away from me and gauges my expression I just blink at her. I know that anger and sadness she had practically bleeding from her only moments before were real. The whole test excuse was being covered up by her sarcastic smirk. This truth thing was going to be harder than I thought.

"I'm sorry about your Healer and Messenger."

She just keeps staring at me with that odd look on her face. "I am going to be straight with you. Saying your sorry for something that wasn't your fault doesn't help anyone. They are just useless words, and I gotta say. Wouldn't it be better to go out and do something instead of just apologizing to make yourself feel better?"

"Look I'm just human I can't-"

"That's why you are here! Nate would love to teach you all of the time but not only is he super busy he will only be a distraction for you. Today I am only going to range how much work I have to do. We need to get you trained up with all the lessons that you have had over the centuries."

I am already regretting this. And the sweets from last night aren't helping to calm my raging stomach.

"I want you to run the perimeter of this whole room. You will do this as many times as you can. I will stay here and monitor your heartbeat."

Running has been a hobby that I use to channel my frustration out when drawing doesn't work. This should be easy. Right before I start to the side of the room something dawns on me.

"How are you going to monitor my heartbeat with no machine?"

"Observant aren't you? Well I'm sure Nate mentioned that each Angel has their own personal power. I can basically listen in on your basic organs to see if they are working properly. Sounds creepy but it actually is like a mini band in anyone's body."

At first, my reaction is to be freaked out until I hear something. It's like a crackling voice is speaking through a broken voice box in my head. "Her power is ever so useful...in war...can tell if...enemy is dead. With the ability to control...able to stop the heart completely."

My eyes shut and I crush my hands over my ears as if they will stop the inner voice in my head. The only thing is, it's my voice I'm hearing, only older. Like I'm in my thirties or something. My hands start to shake and a screaming migraine splits my head like an ax.

I moan and I fall to ground as everything spins around me. It's like a thousand voices are trying to break through that little crack that fractured the prison holding my old memories.

"She's so weak! Just look at those small bones. They are like a birds skeleton. So easy to break."

This mans voice is so clear and strong I almost believe he is in the weapons room right next to me. It sounds deep and smooth and evil. Shivers rack my body and I wind myself tighter to stop them.

That must be the only logical reason why when a hand touches my shoulder I spring up and tackle the surpriser. With moves I have only seen in the movies I grab the persons arms and twisting them to uselessness I grip the throat and squeeze.

"Nice...to know...you still got some...moves." I force myself to blink and register Jem pinned painfully beneath me in some twisted angle. Her face was going purple from the lack of oxygen to her head. Ten more seconds and she is dead.

I jump away from her and try to kill the dreadful thoughts clouding every conscious thought in my mind. It makes me want to scream and stifle my hard breathing all at the same time.

Thats when the retched coughing reaches me and suddenly everything clears and all that I can focus on now is helping my old friend.

Putting both palms on the ground I pounce from my cowardly position on the floor and slide over to Jem. Her breathing is ragged and her face has stayed a lighter shade of purple. I must have nearly crushed her windpipe.

"Jem look at me, sweetheart. It's going to be alright. Just look at me. Come on that's it." Her tear filled eyes search mine and I can almost taste the fear rolling off of her.

"Here we go." I reach up and with the familiarity of doing this thousands of times before I gently put my hand over her heart. I will my soothing emotion of healing into her and a warmth burst into my soul and releases the most beautiful explosion of power.

It erupts around us in sparks and rays of green light that I can't contain and from the way Jem is not flinching from the shower of sparks I doubt she can even see them. She smiles like the power I'm transmitting calms her and I can barely concentrate as my insides flame. I can't seem to stop the flow going into Jem. It's just too relieving. Like a dead weight is jumping off my shoulders as I heal my friend. My soul has been begging for something like this.

To heal.

"Marie...your hurting yourself. Stop, please. You are done, my friend." With shaking fingers she wrenches my hand from her heart and we are separated.

With the refreshing rush of emotions, that had filled my soul from top to bottom only moments before, gone I felt empty and cold. Almost hollow. The sun in me melted away to reveal nothing but a cold stone floor.

Stars dance on my closed eye lids and I practically have flying birds flittering around my head.

"Marie! Open your eyes and look at me now. Do it."

With a shuttering breath I manage to crack open my eyelids and stare into those puppy dog oceans.

I don't even wait a moment before tackling her again. Only this time I hug her fiercely and mumble over again and again my apologies.

"Hey! You have already attacked me once. I think I prefer the choking to the hugging. Now get OFF!" In a very hard attempt to not burst into laughter she shoves me off.

I can't believe what I'm hearing. "You mean your not angry at me!"

"If I hated every angel that attacked me I'd have no friends. Besides I'm beyond ecstatic that you remembered something from your past trainings. That means if we can just access your old memories I can easily help you regain all of the skills I have taught over the centuries. It's brilliant really! All I really want to know is what caused that freak out. Just randomly you crashed to the ground and started to scream. Then I just about died when I tried to get your attention."

Jem was pacing back and forth along the stone floor. At times she would just randomly jump up and down like that would help trigger the idea.

"Well um...when you told me about your power I felt like I remembered something about it. So I tried to let that memory come back and it's like I opened the door too wide. There were too many memories screaming in my head and it was so painful." I grip my head remembering the splitting ax in my skull only moments before. "Then it's like one voice got through. It was a males voice-"

"I know. You stopped screaming for a moment so that you could say in this creepy calm voice 'She's so weak! Look at those small-'"

"I know what I said and it freaked me out. Tell me who that was." I pause when I see Jem nervously twist her fingers again and again. "And don't lie to me. I can tell those words mean something. If this race of angels wants me to be some all time hero then I must know more."

She looks away from me and stares at the wall for a few moments. "Alright then let's talk. But this is the only time I'm letting you out of your running."

We both offer each other weak smiles since it's obvious we may not be smiling afterwards. Sitting ourselves across from each other on the cold floor she swallows two times exactly before beginning.

"You found me when I was just a little human girl. I was seven years old and it was in the middle of the 1800s. My legs had been crippled in a accident and I was mostly bed ridden. Then one night, it was actually a full moon which in my time was a cursed night to be awake on, my father came home in a rage about my mother. He accused her of sleeping with another man. Any way the sweet woman was shot dead protecting my younger brother from his anger. I tried to get out and crawl to her but the useless twigs I had called my legs had tangled up into the sheets.

"I was afraid he would go after Adaly, my younger brother, so I started screaming so loud I knew the neighbors had to have been woken. He stormed into my room and what you heard and spoke out loud...that was the first thing he said to me. Then two strangers in traveling cloaks came storming into the house. One was a tall handsome man in his late twenties and he knocked my father out without so much as trying. The other was a glowing woman, almost the same age as the man, and she had golden hair with the strangest green eyes."

I suck in a breath as I realize who she is talking about. "Nate and I saved you."

She nods. "You just knelt next to me and touched my heart as you just did a minute before. Then your whole body started glowing green in the most elegant of patterns that I thought you were alien. I passed out and when I awoke my brother and I were in my aunts house and I could walk.

"Never forgetting you I constantly roamed the streets looking for you. I needed to see my savor face to face. One night when I had turned nineteen I found you, Nate, and Eliza battling five Fallen. One of them was none other than my father. Just seeing him reminded me of the anger I felt towards that vile man for taking my precious mother from me. So I charged him, not caring about the impossibilities of how he was alive. In the end I just got myself stabbed and you were so busy taking care of one brute that it was too late for me-"

When she told me this a rush of pain, regret, and sorrow fill me to the brim and it feels as if I could be sick. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you-"

"Don't you dare! Getting out of that weak human body was the best thing that happened to me! I became a Guardian Angel and my Healer, Messenger and I traveled with you five for a bit.

"Nate trained me and soon I became so good he let me train his soldiers. All was going so well it came as a shock when my aunt passed of old age. She had been a lot like my mother in ways. Nate gave me a full month to go in search of my brother. Adaly thought I was dead so I couldn't show myself but he was actually doing well. Married with four kids and he was just starting his own shop. He loved to carve wood into anything of his imagination. But my emotions got in front of my judgement.

"I got distracted and didn't notice the Fallen following me. They saw how I reacted to my brother and the next day they set fire to his house. He and his family were inside it at the time. It destroyed me. My mind, body and soul were no longer in control. They had been lost to the blinding rage I felt coursing through me like venom. I was being driven by that rage. Just as my father was.

"I hunted the demons down and with the help of my Messenger we killed the beasts easily. Only it was a trap. And once I was safely out my Messenger went back in to clean up. She got shot twice in the head with a special bullet made of red rock. My Healer was later stabbed by the same demons on the street with a dagger encrusted with red rock. In a matter of weeks I had lost everything I ever loved."

Suddenly it's like the truth of this whole situation finally is settling on my shoulders. There must be thousands of angels in the world doing the same thing we are. But even though our number is great we are each alone.

Our whole life is to die the first time, get a job description, work, and then die again. After all this is done we come back to life to repeat the whole thing over again. Even our companions end up leaving us and we are left alone to repeat this horrific cycle.

This whole angel thing is sounding a lot less appealing right about now.

"So...um, do you fight in the Angels Army now that...well," I stop myself from putting my foot I'm my mouth any further.

"What?" Jem spits out. "Now that I don't have a Healer to protect and a Messenger to give a job to. No, I don't fight this god forsaken war. It was violence that took my family away from me. I wasn't about to dive back in."

I raise my eyebrow at her and look at all the violent looking weapons in the room. "So to stay away from the fighting you work with soldiers and really sharp weapons. All while teaching them how to fight."

Jem's lips curl slightly at the corners and I have a mini celebration inside for making her smile. "I forgot you had a bit of salt in your veins." She hops up from the floor and dust off her pant suit.

"That's enough avoiding work out. The crew will be back in two hours. And we have got a lot of work to do."

I really do not like the evil smile she is giving me right now.

**Quote: "The world does not benefit from you hiding your bad-assery." ~~Unknown**