Dedicated to the author who gave me courage to put this idea to paper (typed), thanks!

Author's note: I'mma be honest, ok? After waking up from having a dream that was a mashup of k/c-dramas, I was wondering whether I should write a satire on them. Then, I read ImagineDragonflies16  's work on cliches/tropes, and the 'bad-boy-meets-good-girl' trope story, "Terms and Agreements" deconstructed which got me thinking...how about I write a satire of the Korean/Chinese (not so much Taiwanese dramas, but those count too!) drama genre, and The Pearl was born! It's not as funny like Zombiefied, but it's not meant to be.

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"Where's my co-star?"

Eyes split between looking at the two leads, the producer nervously chuckled, and tried to introduce the female lead to the male lead, only to be interrupted.

"Not that it is not particularly pleasant to see you again, coffee girl, but I assume this is your other job, right? You did kinda leave in the middle of a shoot, but I guess they need production assistants everywhere," he casually remarked, flipping his dark sunglasses in the air as he did so.

Producer awkwardly grinned, stating, "Well, guess no need for introductions, seems you've already met before."

Both of them glared at him, causing the poor producer to back away slowly.

"I guess you must have quit," he commented, caring more about his manicured nails than the conversation at present.

"I got fired," she explained, resentment almost hidden in her voice.

Was it technically his fault that it happened? No. Would she still blame him anyways? Yes.

"Hmm, interesting. Guess they don't do background checks around here."

Shocked, Wang Ming Yue glanced over to the befuddled producer, praying he save her from this mess.

"I prefer someone else take care of my coffee though," he commented while brushing off his Italian-tailored suit.

Barely holding it together, she surmised that just the jacket alone was worth more than her monthly salary. It was not worth it to spill coffee on it, but it would be extremely satisfying for a moment.

The one time she wished she had listened to her family and stayed in the company.

A benefit being then she wouldn't have to listen to rich jerks like him talk for instance.

"Mr. Jun," the producer started, swallowing, he continued, "We are so thankful that you managed to make a spot for us in your... schedule to substitute for the other star that had to drop out, and are glad to be working with someone as illustrious as yourself."

Still seething, Wang Ming Yue stared at the wall behind the producer, hoping that this was only a nightmare and she would wake from it soon, finding herself drooling on her only k-pop merch pillow.

"Ms. Wang?"

"Yes?" Straightening her posture, she made sure not to glance at the rich jerk and attempted to listen to the producer's detailed instructions regarding rehearsal.

"...rehearsals usually start that early in the morning. As a result, the director has made arrangements for most of the cast to stay in one of the hotels in this complex. You'll be living together with the other crew members and working from sunrise to twilight. Are there are any other prior commitments or jobs that would prevent you from devoting your efforts to this full-time?"

"No, of course not," she answered with a smile. Well, that takes care of the whole 'Where am I going to live?' issue.

"Good," the producer stated as he kept wringing his hands. "Come in early tomorrow to get your paperwork done, I say around 5:30 or so."

Facing the rich jerk, the producer mumbled, "The director said that anytime you drop by would be greatly appreciated by our staff."

"I'll be here in the evenings," he calmly said.

"Alright then, I'll leave you to get to know each first, I mean get reacquainted."

Leaving, he repeated what he had said while she was in a daze. "Remember that rehearsal begins at 6 am sharp tomorrow, so I suggest going easy on the drinks at the bar. Fighting!"

Sprinting out of there, the producer grimaced as he left the pair alone in one of the long corridors between the main hotel and the theatre.

Turning to leave, Ms. Wang felt a rough hand grasp her wrist, and felt pulled towards the celebrity's orbit.

"You sing?", he asked, looking deep into her eyes for any sign of malice.

"I do now," she quipped, ripping his hand off her arm, heading to the closest ladies' bathroom.

Once there, she closed a random stall, and let her emotions run loose. In the middle of her temper tantrum, she recalled the old fortuneteller's words and searched in her purse for her IPhone.

"Grandma Wu?"

"That was faster than I expected. What do you need, child?"

"I think...I'm involved in Li Jun's world at the moment."

Standing at the edge of her seat, Grandma Wu practically yelled into the phone, "Oh my God, did you kiss him?"

"What? No. I'm costarring with him in a musical. Why would you think that?"

Relieved, Grandma Wu muttered, "I can't believe things are like this, it seems like fate is intervening...whether that is a good thing or not is too soon to tell."

"What are you talking about? Did you know he was acting in this when you sent me on that audition?"

"Did you get it? Congrats! I knew you could do it!", she started, adding, "No, the other star left? Then, the situation is worse than I thought."

"What am I supposed to do now?", she inquired. Surely the witch would know a way out of her current predicament.

"OK. Listen to me carefully again-there is still one chance left. One chance!"

Why was there only the one? Could the universe not make it any easier on her?

19. Female lead must suffer repeatedly.

20. Male lead must torment, and insult said female lead whenever possible.

"As long as you don't kiss Li Jun, and stay professional at work, then you won't be involved in Li Jun's world."

"Kiss? I would never kiss him," she said with undisguised disgust in her voice.

"NEVER ever KISS HIM! In fact, I encourage you to not kiss anyone to be safe for a while. Good thing you're acting in My Fair Lady of all things..."

Furrowing her eyebrows at this strange advice, the female lead promised the witch, and with that ended her phone call.

Heading up to her hotel room, she soon spotted flames coming from the first-floor restaurant; she figured it must have been caused by a kitchen fire gone wrong.

After hearing the fire alarm ring, she girded her loins and quickly ran down the stairs in a jiffy.

However, once she was outside, she realized that her fellow coworkers might very likely be in the hotel. Debating whether she should go back inside or not as she believed she was in a drama, she spotted the shadow of a man helping several people out from a high-story window to a trampoline below set up by the firefighters.

Rubbing her eyes, she 'could not believe her eyes'.

It was none other than the rich jerk himself, Li Jun.

Turned out he wasn't such a bad person after all, who knew?

Calling the fortune teller once again, she got stuck on dial-tone and left a voicemail saying that she was helping her costar, but by drama luck would probably be fine.

Right?

Climbing onto a fire escape, she scaled up like she had seen done in movies and managed to make it to the floor Xiao Jun was on.

"Are you insane?", he asked after she got there.

"Maybe," she replied.

Sighing, he ordered her to help him lift someone in a wheelchair so that they could come down.

"You'll have to go down with them," he proclaimed, seemingly rubbing his palms anxiously together.

Did stars like him get anxious? She wondered.

"I'm not strong enough to do that," Ming Yue responded. "How about you go, as there can only be one person at a time, and I hold down the fort?"

Peering at her curiously, he placed the handicapped person on his back, slowly going down the escape only for it to completely fall off its hinges once he came down.

Craning his neck, he yelled, "You're going to have to jump!"

Up above, lightning cracked, thunder roared, and the fire accelerated its growth, now spreading to the very floor Ming Yue was on.

Suddenly, the ledge she was on gave away, and she fell straight into the abyss.

Terrified out of her mind, Wang Ming Yue prayed that the drama writers have mercy on her.

A hot second later, a glowing aura spread around her, and she found herself being encompassed by a ball of light.

It lowered her to the ground, dumping her in the baffled celebrity's muscular arms.

Looking back on it, she thinks that it must have been a combination of her fear of dying and dizziness that led her to do what she did.

For she glanced up at his face, pressed her lips to his, abandoning all thoughts of the outside world.

To her surprise-he kissed back, passionately might I add.

Sparks flew between them as everything around of them stilled.

Even time seemed to stop in that magic moment.

Waking up from her stupor and realizing that she had broken all the rules Grandma Wu set for her, she closed her eyes and proceeded to pass out.

"Hello?", he called out. Seeing no response, the male lead slapped her repeatedly.

"You're scaring me. Please wake up! You can't sleep when you have a concussion!"

Of course, Wang Ming Yue heard none of this as she had just fainted.

Nor did she know where the ball of light had come from, and the price that the wielder had paid to save her.

A cost the young chaebol heir would pay for dearly.

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Extra tidbit: Basically Wang Ming Yue feels right now described in one fmv below. The tropes and cliches are getting to her right now, whoops.

https://youtu.be/ZaCcAjK3hgo