Stella's POV

I don't know what to do. Since Noah left yesterday, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Meeting up with him has made me realise how much I miss talking to him. Smiling and laughing with him. Or just being in his presence. After finding out that I had been suspended, I thought that when I returned to school, I would never see the real Noah again.

However, back then, I thought the real Noah was the popular boy who never openly defended me because he didn't want to ruin his reputation. Now, seeing the real Noah, the boy who ruined his reputation by defending me, the idea of going back to school isn't as daunting as it used to be because I know that I have one person who will have my back no matter what.

My thoughts about Noah somehow start to involve Storm. She's a very different story yet her tale shares similarities with Noah's. The last time I had talked to Storm, she had told me everything her sister and Emma had done to me. Don't worry! If you think that I'm judging Storm on the actions of the people close to her, I'm not.

I know too well how it feels to be judged. To not be accepted. To be shamed. I know how tempting it is to not break the cycle; to judge, to reject and shame others. I know how tempting it is to become the person who hurt you; to become bitter and act from your pain. Opportunity may knock only once but temptation leans on the doorbell and waits for you to give in. I had let opportunity in and left temptation on the doorstep, which left after witnessing my victory. By letting opportunity in, I had broken the cycle.

I had chosen understanding, acceptance and compassion. I had chosen to be the person I needed when I was hurting and promised to be better than what broke me. I had chosen to heal and act from the heart as I know that bullies are created from bitterness and unhappiness. Only people who are not happy with themselves are mean to others.

Sorry, back to Storm. Unlike with Noah, I haven't been able to talk about our friendship with her. Yesterday, Noah had brought up the question about if I will ever forgive Storm and I told him an honest answer: I'm not sure. I feel like if Storm would only act as one person and not two, I would definitely answer Noah's question with a yes.

She has it in her head that at school, she has to be a different person from who she actually is; she has to wear a mask. Keep up a façade . I feel like Storm thinks that there's a script made just for the popular girl and she follows it, which is why she is fooled into being mean. I can't say that I haven't seen any improvements from Storm because she has been mean to less people but just as I think we're getting somewhere we go back to square one. What's that idiom called? Ah yes, one step forward, two steps back! If I'm going to be friends with her again, it will have to be with the real Storm Jackson. She'll have to pick; it's her choice and I can't force her to take one or the other.

"Are you busy?" I ask Kate when I enter the kitchen. She's just put a tray of chocolate chip muffins in the oven.

"I'm never busy for any of the people in this house. Why? What's on your mind, little one?" Kate replies while taking all the dirty dishes to the sink to wash.

"I think it's better if we talk about this when you're done with the washing."

"Stella, can you just spill the beans! The suspense is killing me!"

I take a clean tea towel from one of the drawers and start drying the baking equipment that Kate has managed to wash so far.

"Well, I was thinking about...going back to school."

Kate drops the sponge she's using to scrub the dishes.

"Maybe it is a good idea to talk about this when I'm done washing."

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"What makes you feel like it's the right time to go back to school?" Harry questions.

I'm joined by him and Kate at the table.

"My time off has made me realise that how I think of myself is more important than how the people at school think of me. If they think of me as a murderer, let them! I can't waste my life living it for others."

"I'm really happy that you've learnt that but can't you wait to go back until after the Christmas holidays? That was our original plan. Go back when we know the drama has calmed down. I mean there would be no point going back on Monday because there's only a week left until the holidays. You would have a fresh start back to school in the new year," Kate doesn't look onboard with my decision.

"But even if I return back to school in the new year, I wouldn't know for sure if I'm ready. So this week could be a trial. If I'm ready, I'm ready. If I'm not, I'm not."

Kate and Harry look at each other, then back at me.

"How is it...that you've grown up so much in weeks? You've become so strong and confident. I feel like there's a new person sitting opposite me," Harry seems like he's talking more to himself than to me.

I shrug.

"Strength is what we gain from the madness we survive," I answer.

"Yes, it is," Kate agrees and for a moment I think her eyes are watery; there would be no point asking her because she would just come up with the typical excuses like 'an eyelash fell into my eye' or 'hay fever'," But I think before we make any decision final we'll have to ask for Frida's opinion."

I really thought I had got through to her but at least now, she's much more convinced! I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed that my social worker won't be against my choice; if Frida doesn't agree, me going back to school on Monday will go from unlikely to impossible on the probability scale. Foster parents try as much as they can to please the child's social worker because they don't want to risk having the child taken away from them.

Although I was the person who went running to Frida for new foster parents weeks ago, I don't even want to imagine being ripped apart from Kate and Harry. It's after that it hit me that I'm lucky. There are some kids in the system who don't have supportive foster parents like the ones I have. They don't have people sitting alongside them as they digest the hurt and damage they have undeservingly experienced.

After losing my parents, I promised myself that for as long as I live, I would never get attached to a person ever again. I told myself that it would be easier when the time arrives to let go and I wouldn't have to feel the way I did when I lost the two people I thought I had more time with. No strings. When I walked into Kate and Harry's home, I tried to avoid unpacking my suitcase; I came up with prepared excuses. Kate thought that I was just being lazy and offered to help me settle down, which was something I didn't want to do, so I told her I could unpack myself.

I needed time alone in my new bedroom to pack a secret emergency bag, which I hid under my bed. Back then, I believed becoming a foster kid meant becoming a suitcase kid. I thought it meant that I must always have a bag packed, ready for when I would have to move to a new foster home. Every time Kate offered to help me clean my room, I used to always insist that I didn't need any help and that I could do it by myself(but the real reason was because I didn't want her to accidentally stumble upon the bag hidden under my bed). She gave in every time and she never discovered the bag I didn't want her to find. It's funny how I've only just remembered my emergency's bag's existence; I'll have to unpack it because I don't need it anymore. For the first(and probably the only time)in the thirteen years I've been living on this Earth, I'm celebrating because I've failed. I've failed at not becoming attached to anybody...because the truth is I have.

If I would ever have to leave this house, I would also miss Jake, Josh, Evie and Ellie. My friends back in Bristol used to always envy me because I was the only child, which meant I didn't have to deal with annoying siblings. If only they knew how lonely it was not having somebody apart from your parents to talk at home. I used to wish for a younger sibling so I would know how it's like to cradle a baby's head in your arms. To stop him or her from crying. To watch your brother or sister walk for the first time or listen to him or her when they start speaking.

I had wanted a sister because I would have liked to dress her up and style her hair. I had pictured my imaginary sister like a miniature me, with the same tanned skin and dark hair - just not with the same square glasses because I was praying she wasn't cursed with the same horrible eyesight. Don't get me wrong! A baby brother could have been fine with me but for some reason, I had my heart set on a sister.

Not only do I now have one but two along with two brothers. Although we're not biologically related, I feel close to them as if we were. Family isn't biology. It's loyalty.

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The doorbell rings and we all know who it is: the person we've been expecting. Frida. Kate is the one who lets her into the house and my social worker greets everyone. She makes a huge fuss of Jake, Josh, Evie and Ellie, which they're absolutely thrilled about.

"Why don't the four of you go back to your game upstairs?" Harry suggests when it seems like they don't want to be separated from Frida.

"Why can't we play downstairs?" Evie tilts her head to one side, pouting innocently.

"Because I need to talk to Stella for a bit," Frida answers for Harry.

This makes Evie pout even more while she exclaims, "You always come for Stella and never for us!"

"That's not true because I come bearing sweets for all of you."

Frida takes out a few packets of sweets out of her black handbag, which makes the four of them squeal in delight. They each take a packet of sweets before running upstairs.

"Manners!" Kate reminds them.

"THANK YOU!" Jake, Josh, Evie and Ellie chorus.

Frida chuckles while replying with,"You're welcome!"

"I think we should call your bag 'The Magic Handbag', eh?"

"I could be a fairy godmother."

"That would be great because it would be easier for you to come whenever we need you and we wouldn't have such hard times solving our problems. You would just have to wave your magic wand," a world where fairytale magic existed popped into my head.

This world may not have fire-breathing dragons, magic carpets, princesses with magical hair or ice powers, talking trees that give you wise advice or curious mermaids but it has magic. It has love. It has kindness. It has hope. It has happiness.

Winnie the Pooh says, you don't spell love but you feel it. As Mary Angelou says, people forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

"What problem have you called me over to solve?" Frida brings me out of my daydreaming.

"I think it's the right time to go back to school," I tell her.

My social worker looked at me in astonishment, probably not believing her ears.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Frida asked but unlike Kate, there was no disbelief dripping from her voice.

I stared at her straight in the eye, "Yes."

She nodded in approval, now, letting a grin show on her face.

"I don't know about you but solving problems makes me hungry? You wouldn't mind if I had anything to eat, would you?" Frida questions with immaculate manners.

Amongst ourselves, we share Kate's chocolate chip muffins which make my mouth water. Jake, Josh, Evie and Ellie make use of the time we have while we eat to talk to Frida so Harry and I take advantage of the distraction to help ourselves to the baked goods. Occasionally, Kate would smile at the argument us two were having on who gets to eat the last muffin but it would never reach her eyes. I wanted to ask her what had begun to prey on her mind but I didn't want to do it in front of everyone so I decided that I would ask her after Frida leaves.

Once we had all finished eating, Frida began gathering all the dirty plates to wash.

"Oh, Frida, you don't have to!" Harry insists.

"But I want to!" she argued and nobody dared to disagree with her any further because my social worker had that 'I will do whatever I want, with or without your approval' look on her face.

"Well, if you're not going to let me handle the tidying up, then, at least allow me to help you," Kate compromises.

The two of them take the dirty dishes out of the living room and to the kitchen. I also lend a hand by picking up all the rubbish and just as I'm about to enter the kitchen to throw it all away in the bin, I stop when I hear Kate whisper solemnly:

"Frida, we need to talk."

Ensuring that the two ladies are unable to see me and I'm able to listen to their hushed discussion, I stay in my hiding place as Frida questions, light-hearted:

"What about?"

"I'm not entirely sure if it's the right time for Stella to go back to school."

"Relax, Kate. It's going to be-"

"Fine? I can't believe you have the audacity to tell me that it's going to be fine because if I remember correctly, after Stella's past was revealed on social media, I had asked you if it would be wise to send you to school. You told me it would be fine so off Stella went to school. The next thing I know, I find out somebody has written on the wall of the girls' toilets that Stella is a murderer and because of how she reacted to that, she got suspended. So don't you dare tell me it's going to be fine!"

Frida doesn't say anything. Kate doesn't either. I can't ever remember a time that Kate has been angry at my social worker and I would have never imagined that she would yell at her.

"I'm sorry, Kate! Have you told Stella how you feel about this?" Frida's question attracts my attention.

"I tried to subtly but she didn't get the hint. She has her mind set on going back to school," Kate answers.

"I'm sorry, Kate," I come out of my hiding place.

"Oh my gosh, Stella. Don't scare me like that!" Frida exclaims with a hand placed over her chest.

"How long have you been standing there?" Kate questions frantically.

"Long enough to listen to all of the conversation between you and Frida," I respond before apologising even further, "I really am sorry, Kate."

"No, I'm sorry. When I decided I wanted to be a foster care parent, I vowed to always put the children before me so if you feel like you should go back to school, then, I'm right behind y-"

She doesn't even finish her sentence because I wrap her in a hug. For a second, Kate holds back but she returns the hug not long after the moment of shock.

"Please, guys, don't make me cry! I'm having a really good make-up day!" Frida begs, fanning her eyes.

"Come over here, Frida," Kate invites my social worker to join the hug and she accepts the invitation.

Sooner or later, Harry, Jake, Josh, Evie and Ellie find us and join so that it becomes a family hug.

I like the sound of that word.

Family.

Author's Note

Don't worry, guys, nothing has happened to me! School has delayed this update but half term is coming up so hopefully, the wait for the next update won't be too long.