I walked through the sterile corridor that led to Dr Senju's office. I felt nervous, as if I was going to meet an echo of the man that was Tobirama.

Tobirama...

I hadn't seen him all week. Not since I'd fallen asleep next to him, in a puddle of his blood. In the afternoons when I came home from lectures, his door was always closed. Sometimes, the light was on inside, sometimes, it was dark. I didn't knock, just went into my room and minded my own business. Which was basically just thinking. A heavy gloom lay over me, matched by the rainy weather. Oh, if only it was sunny! If only the sun shone upon us, this wouldn't even be half as hard!

It wasn't just the absence of Tobirama, and the confusion regarding him. It was the absence of Henry, and the insecurity regarding him. How changed would he be when he woke up? If he woke up? Would he be the same? Would he recover?

I shook my head, taking a deep breath. I was wearing a long, light blue shirt and black jeans, my hair in a clip fastened on my head. I'd never worn black jeans or my hair like this before. It felt good. I wanted to make a good impression on Dr Senju.

I knocked, and she opened, beaming. "Welcome!" she greeted, and my gloomy mood immediately disappeared. She was so like my own mother. I couldn't help but think they would love each other.

"Thank you, Dr Senju."

"Oh, we're well past that, pumpkin. Please, call me Helen."

"Thank you, Dr Senju."

She gave me a stern look, then burst out laughing. "Today, I'll teach you some basic surgery. We have a whole fish I'd gathered from the store."

"You shouldn't have gone through the trouble."

"Oh, but I should!" she said, waving a dismissive hand at me. "Tea?"

"Oh, please." I noticed I really didn't feel comfortable calling her Helen, so I'd just stopped referring to her altogether. The tea was delicious, smelling of blackcurrant. I'd tried blackcurrants since I started university and eating fruits, and had learned that I detested the berries, but loved everything that was flavored with them. The tea comforted me, reminded me of tea in the evenings at home, although then, the nasty taste had been a necessity to fill my stomach for the night. Here, the pleasant taste was for comfort and pleasure. It was a strange experience.

"Before we begin, there's something I want to talk to you about", Helen said. I was taken aback. "It's about my research. Why did she want to discuss her research with me? "Have you ever been told by your parents how deeply alphas fall in love?" I shook my head. We kind of had no business discussing alphas at our dinner table. I believed Dr Senju knew this, but was trying to be polite. "I figured when you asked me why I didn't leave my husband. Once we've bonded with someone, that is our person forever. Separation among alphas are unheard of." I looked at her curiously. "I wasn't entirely truthful to you the other day, and I'm sorry. My husband has threatened to hurt Tobirama if I were to leave him, but he knows he doesn't have to. I couldn't leave him, even if I wanted to."

"Because you've bonded with him and just love him too much?"

Helen smiled warmly at that, looking away into the distance. "Funny. My son asked the exact same thing." The thought of Tobirama discussing love with someone sent a pang through my heart. How can you miss something you've never had? "No. It's not because I love him too much. To Tobirama, I explained it as it's as impossible to leave the person you've bonded with as it is to leave your liver behind. I thought it was a good comparison. It's just not possible. Your liver is stuck within you."

"Actually... It's not impossible." Dr Senju looked at me quizzically. "Of course, you'd die. But you could cut yourself open and pull out your liver and leave it behind. But you can't do that with the person you've bonded with?"

Dr Senju looked at me. "You're one of a kind, Izuna."

"I don't mean to be rude, but I don't feel comfortable hearing that. They I'm one of a kind, I mean. It has caused me a lot of trouble."

"I'm sorry", Dr Senju said.

"I'm interested in your research. But I would, without doubt, leave my liver on the ground for someone I loved."

I didn't know why I suddenly felt like challenging her. Maybe because I thought she deserved so much better than a husband that beat her son. Maybe because I had a certain someone in mind, and I didn't want anyone to question how far I'd go for that person. But it felt refreshing.

"Do you... Have a certain someone in mind?" Dr Senju asked curiously.

"I do", I said, sticking my chin out.

Helen's eyes glittered.

She then continued explaining her research. "We've found pheromones triggering endocrinological pathways in both alphas, betas and omegas. The alpha pheromones can only activate the pathways in other alphas of the opposite sex. The same goes for betas and omegas. We don't know yet why the bonding between alphas is so much stronger, but we're trying to figure it out."

"I respect you and your research. But why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"Because I might be interested in studying your endocrinological pathways at some point. Yours and... Someone elses." I just stared. "Of course, with your consent only."

"Umm. I would be glad to be of service."

"No omega has ever fallen in love with an alpha before."

Her eyes glittered again.

That night, I walked towards my room, not even thinking about Tobirama's room anymore. And of course, that's when I got a life sign from him.

His door was ever so slightly ajar, and the light sipped through the cracks. But what caught my attention where the sounds coming from the room. He most definitely, without a doubt, had a girl in there. I stopped dead. No... I felt my heart freeze to ice. I didn't understand it, but I was in such a state of shock that I didn't even bother thinking about why. I just stood and listend, unable to move. There were rustling of sheets, and loud mounds from a female. There were grunting from him and he seemed to be in a state of immense pleasure. It brought tears to my eyes. I unlocked the door of my room in a hurry, walked in and closed it behind me, but not entirely. I just couldn't stand shutting them out. I slid along the wall of my hallway, panting. I snaked my hand to my trousers, closed my eyes as I felt I was leaking already. Fuck... I let my hand travel to the hem of my black jeans, unbutton them, and snake in to grab my length. I started beating myself to the soft moans from the room opposite mine, all the while fantasising about... No, I wouldn't go there.

But go there, I must.

For the full hour Tobirama and the girl went on, I beat myself, having to work my heart out in order not to come, increasing the pace bringing myself close to the edge only to back off again. I hated Tobirama, hated him for having so much stamina. It caused me to go absolutely fucking mental. I fantasised about me being the one beneath him, me being the one he made moan, me causing him all that grunting. And as their pace increased, and her moans became screams, and his grunting became roars, I pushed myself over the edge, having such a heavy orgasm I convulsed, slumping down on the floor as the couple opposite me climaxed. I lay down for a while, eyebrows furrowed, feeling such an immense jealousy it ate my heart up.

And beneath the jealousy, the pleasure, the madness of it all, one thought.

No omega has ever fallen in love with an alpha before.

I couldn't sleep that night. I was reading, holding Tobirama the alpaca plushie in my arms when there was a soft knock on my door. My heart started pounding out of fright. Was someone coming to beat me up? Was I disturbing a neighbour as my lights were on? No, they couldn't see it, surely? I tiptoed and opened.

"Hi."

"Oh my God, I am not ready for this", I blurted out, holding my alpaca close to my chest.

Tobirama snorted. He pointed at the alpaca. "That's fucking adorable." I didn't know if he meant the alpaca, or me holding it. "I'm glad it found you safely."

"Safely? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm from an omega dumpster, yet I'd never felt so unsafe in my entire life. I keep being beaten up."

"Can I come in?" Tobirama asked.

"Don't you have a girl in your room?"

He looked at me apologetically. "You heard?"

"The entire country heard."

"I'm sorry." He had the decency to look ashamed.

"It's okay. It was kind of hot so I jerked off to it."

Tobirama's jaw dropped halfway to the other side of the planet. Then, he burst out laughing. He laughed and laughed, not being able to stop. So this is what his laugh sounds like. As opposed to his voice, dark and murky, his laugh was like a heavy bronze church clock. "You're not serious, are you?" he asked.

"You went on for so long. Might as well take advantage of it. It was good. Thank you."

"I've never been taken advantage of before", he said softly. Suddenly, his face set. Before I knew what was happening, he'd put a finger underneath my chin, tilted my head upwards. "I bet I would finish in two minutes if it had been you."

I just stared at him. What in the Goddamn fuck did he just say? I thought. "What in the Goddamn fuck did you just say?" I asked.

He just smiled and turned to sit in my couch. "I never let my girls stay. I prefer sleeping alone."

I sat on the other side of the couch, taking care not to touch him. "I still hate you for what you did to Henry."

"I still hate myself for what I did to Henry", Tobirama said, suddenly shame-faced. He looked up at me. "I won't apologise because I know it will be worthless to you."

"Apologise", I demanded.

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you bossing an alpha around?"

"You're not even half as alpha as you think you are", I said, hugging Tobirama the alpaca close to my chest.

I closed my eyes, readying myself for being beaten up.

"You know... I've never met anyone like you", he said.

I tentatively looked up. He didn't look enraged at all, just sat with his legs splayed, feet on the floor as opposed to me who was curled up, and his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped together, a curious expression on his face. "What, an asshole?" I asked.

"Someone who isn't afraid of me. Who doesn't back away as soon as I enter the room."

"Hey, I'm Izuna, and I'm Not Like Other Boys", I mocked.

Tobirama snorted in that way of his. "What are you reading?" he asked suddenly.

I looked down on my book. "Haruki Murakami."

"Oh, I love him", Tobirama said. I was taken aback. He just didn't seem the type.

"I hate him", I said.

"Why?"

"Anyone can write a complicated plotline if you never conclude them."

"I know what you mean. It's frustrating. I kind of like that frustration. Is there an author you don't hate?"

"David Mitchell", I said. "The Bone Clocks."

"I've read Black Swan Green."

"I hate Black Swan Green", I said.

We continued like that, discussing literature. Before we knew it, two hours had passed and it was two am.

"Shouldn't you politely ask if I want you to leave?" I teased.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No."

"I don't want to leave either."

"Why?" I asked.

"I'm enjoying our conversation. I've never really talked literature to someone. It's freeing."

I briefly thought about the situation with his father.

"I don't want you to leave", I repeated.

Tobirama became dead quiet for a while, looking down. He swallowed.

"Izuna?" His voice was wobbly.

"Mmm?"

He looked at me. "When you fucked yourselves to the sounds from my bedroom..."

"Don't remind me."

"Were you fucking the girl... Or being fucked by me?"

I looked at him.

I looked at him for a long, long time.

He looked at me with those light eyes of his, his eyebrows so furrowed they almost touched in the middle. His thin lips were set, as was his strong jawline as he stared at me, as if daring me to answer truthfully. I stared back.

Then, I put Tobirama the alpaca beside me in the couch, then clambered onto the side of the couch where Tobirama the Alpha Male was sitting. He leaned back, and I could see his Adam's apple move as he followed me intently with his gaze. He put his arms back on the headrest as I clambered onto his lap, facing him. I released my hair from its clip, letting it tumble down to my waist. I grabbed his simple, white, long-sleeved T-shirt and leaned in to put my lips on his.

As soon as we connected, I felt rather than heard him sigh, and his eyes closed immediately. His lips started massaging mine slowly, agonisingly slowly as his hand went to the back of my head, pulling me closer. I gasped as he entwined his fingers into my hair. He used that gasp to put the tip of his tongue in between my lips. I whimpered, pushing my groin closer to his, closer to his erection.

"Izuna..." he murmured.

I grabbed his face and shoved my tongue into his mouth, and we started wrestling using our tongues. After twenty minutes, I was a hot, panting mess, and to my great pleasure, he was, too.

"Do you think an alpha and omega male have ever kissed?" I asked, out of breath.

"Not a chance", Tobirama said in between kisses. "It just doesn't happen."

"What's wrong with us?" I asked, only half-joking.

"Oh, plenty", he said before licking the tip of my tongue.

"I need to go to bed", I panted after a while.

"Same", he said and kissed me for another twenty minutes.

We didn't nothing but kissing. In the end, he left for his room. In the door, I called after him.

"Hey. Alpaca Alpha." He looked back. "To answer your question. I fantasised about you fucking me."

He looked incredibly pleased with himself.

But of course, as an alpha, he wouldn't let me have the last say.

"I might not be half as alpha as I think I am, but real me is more than ten times better in bed than the me you conjured up in your fantasies."

I didn't let him have the last say anyway.

"Oh, Mister English Literature. So poetic."

He smiled.

"As opposed to Haruki Murakami, I always finish off what I start." He winked and closed the door behind him.

AAAAAAAHHHH! Fuck, that was smooth. Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK, that was smooth.

I fucked myself again, imagining a Tobirama ten times better than last time.