Carcel Evander Dawson

"What's all that commotion about?"

"I think it's Galini."

"You mean Galini Sinclair? What is she doing with that poor girl?"

"Well, she's always craving attention, that's why."

"Carcel, do you know where Ciel is?"

"Carcel?"

Why does everybody keep waking me up? Fuck, let me sleep in peace.

I slowly opened my eyes, only to see Faye with her usual innocent-looking face, which somehow made me more annoyed. They've been chatting for the last 15 minutes, and I can't get any proper rest. Their voices chirping like ants crawling all over my body, and you know what I do to ants like that?

Smash them.

But I'll stop myself from choosing violence for once. I'm too tired to do shit. My head is pounding from last night's drinking, and even these velvet cushions can't make the room stop spinning slightly. I squint against the harsh light streaming in from the tall windows, which seems to pierce right into my skull.

"Are you still hungover?" Ace asked with a smirk, lounging casually across from me, his relaxed posture a stark contrast to my irritation.

"Yeah, and someone's been bothering my sleep." I glanced at Faye, who looked scared. Or should I say, fake scared? This woman might be fooling everyone with her innocent facade, but I'm not them. I can see through her like glass, the kind you'd want to throw a rock at just to see it shatter.

"Don't scare her, man. She was just asking you where Ciel is." Ace defended her, his tone annoyingly soft. I hate it when my cousin acts like this. He's so weak for women with pretty faces and big boobs.

"And why would I know where she is?" I said, trying to close my eyes again, hoping to shut out the world and retreat into the darkness of my thoughts.

"Because she's your fiancée?" Faye asked softly, almost like she was being careful with her words. She definitely knows that I'm a ticking bomb, ready to explode at any moment.

"Yeah? And? Have you seen me carrying her around?" I answered bluntly. Fiancée, my ass. I'm too fucking young to be engaged. All this wealth and responsibility my parents are handing to me is suffocating. I would rather drown in alcohol than deal with an assload of duties as the 'perfect son'. I never asked for in the first place. The pressure feels like a weight pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe. I just want to escape it all, even if it's only in sleep.

And these fools are taking that away too. "You know I hate to be woken up, right Faye?" She flinched at the sound of her name being called. She nodded slowly like a good girl.

"I'll head out to smoke," I said, standing up and making my way towards the exit, my movements sluggish from the remnants of last night's debauchery.

Ace Astor, my cousin, owns one of the biggest entertainment agencies here.

Faye Pembroke and Jade Pembroke, their twins— their mother is the highest-paid model in the industry, and their dad is a lawyer and the owner of the largest Law firm in the country.

Crue Fairchild, own the largest insurance company,

Ciel Montclair, they own the second largest conglomerate company.

And the first largest conglomerate, of course, is owned by Arthur Dawson, my father.

These people are the few students living in privilege in this sick university. The fame, the status, the treatment, the connections—all of that, you can have it if you're just born a little richer than the other. Some students would be desperate, some would say it's fair, some hate it, and some despise it. I honestly don't want to be born poor and weak, but I also don't want to become stronger but greedier. 

Then what do I really want? I don't know. I'm still about to find out.

"Is that Carcel?" I looked back and saw girls walking by, and the pins on their uniforms were glistening. I smiled intentionally, and they seemed to like the attention I gave.

Pathetic.

This life is just a game for all of us. A game of who can shine the brightest, who can climb the highest. And here I am, stuck in the middle, not wanting to play but forced to anyway. Because in this world, if you don't play, you get stomp on and I refuse to let them land a single dirt on me.

I saw Crue walking by, his face glued to his phone, not even wearing his uniform. This was surprising Crue, was always the obedient one among us. I approached him from behind, intending to tackle him, but as expected from a man born a Fairchild, he knew how to defend himself.

Just as I was about to make my move, he sensed me. His body tensed, and he spun around with an elbow aimed at my head. I barely had time to react, and I almost ended up with a cracked skull. Thankfully, he stopped his blow when he saw it was me.

"Shit, Carcel, you trying to get yourself killed?" Crue said, his face breaking into a rare grin.

I smirked, rubbing the back of my neck. "Just trying to keep you on your toes, Fairchild. Maybe next time you'll look up from your phone."

He rolled his eyes and slipped his phone into his pocket. "You know, you should probably find better ways to get my attention. Not everyone's as forgiving as I am."

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, brushing off his concern. "Where's your uniform? Don't tell me you've skipped class?"

Crue shrugged nonchalantly, leaning against the locker beside mine. "I was in a meeting with the owner of Casa Monte. Dad's orders."

"A casino?" I asked, curiosity piqued. Damn, these Fairchilds are getting richer by the minute. Dad probably has his eyes on them too.

"Relax, bud. It's supposed to be a gift," Crue said, crossing his arms and grinning. "Guess who the lucky recipient is."

I raised an eyebrow. "Don't have a clue."

"It's for your fiancée, birthday" he announced, and I let out a chuckle. These people never fail to amuse me, funny how wealthy people also show signs of desperation.

"Are you trying to snatch away my future wife?" I joked as we started walking down the crowded hallway towards our next class.

"As if you cared that much, you freak," he shot back, a smirk playing on his lips.

Our friends know that my relationship with Ciel is nothing but a political marriage. I was forced into this hellish arrangement for the sake of what they call 'securing a better future for our families.' It makes my blood boil just thinking about how they've sacrificed the well-being of their children for their damned ambitions. We are literally treated as an ROI here.

And Ciel is acting like a good loyal wife. Which adds more fuel to the fire. It's not that Ciel isn't good enough for me; she's one of the top beauties at our university, the wealthiest female heir, and more famous than most artists. She probably has everything her little heart desires. I would sleep with her anytime if she wanted too. Lucky for her I'm not that cruel of a man and to be honest..

She's not my type.

Ciel is too perfect, too pristine, and I doubt she could handle a guy like me. Most importantly, I'm not interested in love. Why would I tie myself down to that kind of commitment when I can get who I want, when I want, with just a single smile? But that doesn't mean I sleep around like a dog. I'm extremely picky about who I share my bed with, I get bored easily, and like any other guy, I get irritated when someone becomes too clingy to my comfort.

I also feel sorry for her. I don't know if she loves the life she has, but if I were in her situation, I'd probably hang myself. Heirs of rich families have their fair share of problems and issues. The difference between me and her is that I'm a man and she's a woman. Women have to suffer more than us, it's like that and will always be like that.

"You know that it's her birthday is next month, right?" Crue said with a tune of sarcasm, I didn't know that but do I look like I give a fuck, me Carcel Evander?

"Hmm, what should I get her?" I replied playfully, leaning back against the brick wall of the campus quad. "Should I get her a castle?" I quipped, a mischievous grin spreading across my face. Crue smiled, but I could see the glint in his eyes that said he wouldn't mind smacking me for my humor. Crue is a mature and good man, I know that, all too well.

The university quad around us was alive with activity. Students sprawled out on the grass, some studying, others chatting animatedly. The air was filled with the scent of fresh-cut grass and the distant sounds of a frisbee game. They say the one who wears the crown bears crown and that felt like an invisible chain around my neck, pulling me down. The constant pressure to perform, to be the best, to maintain the family legacy. It was a heavy burden, one I was sure I didn't want to carry. But Crue, he seemed to thrive under it, or at least he made it look like he did.

Crue laughed, the most genuine thing I heard so far today "Just try not to die from a hangover before that day," he said, shaking his head.

I couldn't help but laugh too. "Yeah, yeah, I'll try to keep it together," I replied, though the words felt like a weak promise.

The classes here are pretty boring. As a business major, I'd much rather be learning the actual skill set I need to manage a damn multi-industry company. For a second, I almost sounded interested, but what I really need right now is a drive, a fast drive, one that could blow all this distress away. I couldn't help but wish for this day to pass so summer break would start.

"Wanna go to the twins' party tonight?" Ace asked. He must be kidding me. Can't he see I'm dying of a hangover here? And there he is, asking for another party that would require another round of drinking. I wish I could go, but Mom's gonna beat my ass if I'm not home tonight.

"Pass, I have dinner plans," I said, pretending to listen to the lecture droning on in the background.

"Who is this girl you're cheating with?" Ace said, acting like a jealous girlfriend. I shot him an uninteresting look.

"My mom," I replied flatly. His smile faded instantly.

"Yeah, I'm no match for her. Tell Aunt Helene I said hi," he said, his voice tinged with genuine fear. I smirked at his reaction. Mom isn't the type that normal people can handle. You need to be at least a little drunk to talk to her without feeling intimidated.

"How about going to dinner with me instead?" I threatened, raising an eyebrow.

Ace shook his head violently. "Good choice," I said, leaning back in my chair. "I'm going to sleep. Don't wake me unless the world is falling apart." I shut my eyes and quickly doze off to sleep.

"Carcel!" Ah, someone's waking me up again. It's not even funny now. But where's that familiar voice coming from?

"Carcel, my sweet child." This is Nanny's voice. I want to call out to her, but my voice won't come out. I want to scream, but not a single sound escapes.

"Over here, child." Where? Nanny!

The sound of the bell rings in my ears, like fire alarm. I groan in distress, trying to force my eyes open. Everyone in the class leaving, and Ace is sleeping next to me. It was that dream again. Nanny's voice in my head sounded so real this time, so close, so alive, and happy.

I cup my face with my hands, hoping to wake my senses back up. I left the room, leaving Ace behind. He'll be fine; he'll probably wake up soon. I walk outside to the back gate of the main building. I really like going for a smoke here; it's quiet, with only the chirping of birds. A small fountain stands in the middle of a garden, separating the main building and the annex.

Sometimes, I get the urge to walk inside and see the rooms of the annex, but I never step foot in that building but I always thought about it. I didn't know anyone from there, but from the way I looked at it, the students there seemed to be having fun. Maybe this school isn't that bad after all.

"Sir, we should head out." Jordan, my driver, approaches me. He's in his usual black suit, earpiece, and that perpetually stern face.

"Alright, Jordan, please refrain from nagging me," I say, puffing my cigarette and tossing it on the ground. "And smile more often, man. You'll scare the kids here," I tease him.

We walk towards the car, and he opens the door for me. I slip inside. Jordan has a scar on his face. He was originally Nanny's errand boy, and we're in the same age. He was on the verge of dying in the street when Nanny took him in. Since then, he's been living under her care. But now that Nanny has passed, he's been with me. We were raised together by her, which is why he feels like a brother to me.

"Hey, I dreamt about Nanny today," I say, rolling the window down and letting the air blow on my face.

"What did you dream?" Jordan asks casually while driving.

"She was calling my name," I say, my voice weak.

"You probably miss her a lot."

"Do you miss her, Jordan?" I ask, my eyes wandering outside as the scenery blurs by.

"Yeah, I miss her," Jordan replies with a soft voice.

Nanny died peacefully. She wasn't in pain, wasn't in sorrow, no ounce of regret. She just lay in her bed, smiling, looking at us. It was like a beautiful eternal sleep. She died naturally, and for the first time, I thought, so this is how all of us end up—it's death. No matter what you do to make your life easier, happier, or more fulfilling, death is always where we end up and there is nothing we can do about it

"Remember the day Nanny picked you up from the street?" I recall aloud. "She ordered me to buy a medicine kit from the grocery store for your wounds, and I bought a pudding there too."

"Really? Do you want some now?" Jordan asks, almost like reading my mind.

"That pudding was delicious," I say, smiling. "Can we stop by?"

"Of course."

The car stops in front of the grocery store. There's no parking lot here, so Jordan has to find a spot nearby. I head in first. The place is still the same as I remember from years ago, except it felt huge back then. Now, it looks like it has shrunk in size.

Jordan comes running in after parking across the street. "This place shrank." I said checking out the place, and he chuckled as he looked for something to eat.

"Dumbass, it didn't shrink. You just got bigger." Jordan grabs some drinks off a shelf. "I'm amazed how you remember this place so vividly," he adds.

I squat down to pick up two puddings. "That's because I'm a genius," I joke. The truth is, I almost witnessed a suicide here.

That's why I remember it like it was yesterday.