Chapter Twenty Five: We Are Ready To Nap

Upon returning home, I immediately took a shower. I needed to remove all the death and blood off me, because even I have standards. Putting on sweats and a long-sleeve shirt, Halina also proceeded to shower as I made dinner. Both of us were starving, and while I was tired, I was not tired enough to sleep before eating.

Plus bad things happen when I sleep.

But whatever. Life is full of bad things. When suffering meets reality, is the curse of the necromancer.

Since I had near zero energy, I made something simple: ham sandwiches. With various condiment choices. Nothing too crazy, but what can you do?

Once Halina finished, we ate in silence. I munched away, and after taking a gulp of beer, I said, "Are you alright?"

"Yes. Why?"

"It's not everyday one witnesses a slaughter. And it's not everyday one gets to live to tell the tale." I don't need random screams in the middle of the night. That ruins what little sleep I already get. "Please. I need to know if you'll be okay."

She looked away, her eyes screaming. That's never a good sign. "No. That whole scene was horrifying. I.......I want to something to help. Please. I.......I can't relive that ever again in my mind."

Nodding, I got up. "Be right back." I left, and returned in a timely manner. Handing her the Dream Keeper, she seemed at lost. "You can give it your memories. Permanently. You can start from a specific sight, sound, place, and it will go until you tell it to stop. There's a reason these things are illegal. It makes it easier to do horrible, terrible acts."

Halina went to reach out, then paused. Her fingers shook. "But what if it takes more? What if I can't stop?"

"I'll help. Don't worry, as long as I'm watching, nothing bad will happen." Words are dreadful. But for now it's all I have. All I can use. "Believe me, you will feel bad afterwards. Guilty. But it's better than reliving something that's God awful. Don't over think. Don't overspend. Just start from where you want to, to where you want to finish."

The writer frowned, but she tentatively took the cube. I turned it on, and she began the feeding. The thing about Dream Keepers is they are addicting. Like cigarettes. Once you begin giving it what you wish to forget, it's becomes easy to drain your brain dry. Halina sighed a relief, her uneasiness melting away.

Her eyes were still closed, but once the smile began to disappear, I took the cube. Her eyes shot open. "It's so greedy."

"Greed is a two way street," I said, placing it in my pocket. "But yes. It is."

I felt Halina's motivation leave, and she finished off her beer. "I--I need sleep. I do feel better now. You're right, the guilt is overwhelming."

Halina went off, swaying slightly, as though the events were sinking in, but were just removed in an instant. I sat in the kitchen for a little longer, playing on my phone, trying to distract myself. But it was futile. My eyes were getting tired, which meant torture.

Yet I sat in my study on the couch for a near hour, with the Dream Keeper in hand. I had been staring at it for this entire time, angry at myself. I could do it you know? I could suck my brain dry, until I turned into nothing more than a lump of flesh. Halina would wake up to find my alive yet non-functional body lying here in a pile of piss and shit.

What to do. What to do.

Spot came up, meowing.

I shook my head. "Go away Cat. I want to possibly die in peace."

She didn't leave. Still, my eyes never left the cube. Damn it Ditto, if you weren't so selfish, you'd do it. If you weren't such a bitch, you'd do it. What the hell is wrong with you?

Now, I know what you're thinking. 'Oh Ditto, suicide isn't the answer. It's selfish to kill yourself. It's cowardly'.

Yeah? Well, you don't know anything about being selfish do you? Or being cowardly. Life is full of shit. Life is why I am forced to suffer through this tortured existence. Life is why I'm in this mess right now.

Life is why my parents are dead.

And you believe that for me, dealing with these problems is courageous? It's selfless? No, it's cowardly, it's selfish, it's going to see me killed not on my own terms. And then where will I be?

Dead, with the rest of my race. For me, living life is about as selfish as it gets. Unfortunately, my selfishness will see me die. Who will be more disappointed you wonder? My parents, who wanted me to grow old. My friends, who failed to protect me.

And no one else, because there is no one else.

'You know Son, we necromancers always hated listening to others. But we hate listening to ourselves the most.'

A quote from my father. Who did his best to teach me the ways of my kind. You'll find out later, but there's a reason why I won't use the cube to end it here and now. Necromancers are plight and suffering. Oh, how cruel is the ultimate joke.

I tossed the cube across the room, having it land with a sounding crash. Spot jumped back in fright, while I gathered my blankets for tonight's sleep. The smile crept out onto my face. Yes, the joke sure is a mean one. But it's ironic. And really, really funny for those who know of what the Last Necromancer means.

So I laughed alone, with only my thoughts and secrets to keep me company.

XXXX

We were told to attack the city. In the name of the Witch, for the promise of immortality. To defy the cursed Magi and get what we want. He told us to do this. So the Vran pack and Heller pack joined together with the help of a rare shaman. She got us into the city. She, along with that damn fae, were able to get us deep into the city. We were wiping out the cities protectors like nothing.

Then something happened. I was in my doberman form, ripping apart a witch with ease, when suddenly a blasting heat destroyed my friends around me. I looked up, to see an army of freaky looking creatures running towards us. My brethren went to go face the new threats, while I continued with the battle. Two heroes were in my path, and I dodged their magic, watching as more of my friends were killed, watching the heroes themselves weakening and dying like the filth they were.

And then I turned to see a man coming closer. He was decimating everything in his path. His two swords were destruction, were death incarnate, none able to stop him. I knew someone had too or else he would kill us all. The dark-looking man was distracted, shredding those I never even talked to. Now was my chance.

I ran towards the dark-looking man, sensing his death, and leaped towards his back, fangs barred. I didn't see him move, but I was thrown to the side, a cold pain spreading over me. I watched the dark-looking man walk up, swords dripping blood. He didn't even bother to keep his eyes on me when the purple one came into my skull.

It was nothing now. Blank and endless, like the caves I use to explore as a pup. Where were my friends? I was dead I was sure, so where were my friends? I want to see my friends!

But a horrible, terrible anguish came over me. It ate me apart, devastating and precise. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. It felt like an eternity before I heard a voice.

What do I want? I--I don't know.

I should know? How? I'm dead, failed in my mission, failed in my life.

But the voice grumbled, and then I knew what I was suppose to say.

I know what I want now.

And the voice sighed.

XXXX

I was back in West again, standing in an old, dirty alley by the lake. The sun was still up, but it would be setting shortly. Promise was a promise, and I was here to collect.

Eating a tasty granola bar, I was still hella tired and wanted to be sleeping, I flipped through my first journal until about halfway through. Ah, here it is, the Aftermath Battle spell used by warring necromancers. It was complex structurally, but required little power since all it was doing was bringing anything freshly dead to my location. A clean up spell, so to speak.

I activated it, and after several minutes the first of the dead came walking up. I opened a portal to the Spirit Layer, sending my new treasure within. It took about an hour, but soon a huge line was entering slowly, like a death march. Ha! I crack myself up.

Yes, I'll store these tools for later. In my eerily location that none know about. The dead are always useful, no matter who or what you are. Wait--that doesn't sound right. No, just useful to me and myself and I.

Once the last went on in, there became nothing more to do here in West. The citizens were on the start of rebuilding, but with access to magic, it shouldn't take much longer than a few days. The people will mourn, curse the shifter packs, and be on their way with normal life.

But what will become of me now? What is next on the old agenda, what is written down in the planner? Beats me, I'm sorta half-winging it, half-planning ahead. No one is perfect. I guess. That's what people like to tell me.

I closed the portal only to hear steps behind me. I sighed. "You know Sasha, it's easier to just wait until I get back."

Sasha la Rose, her bigger body swaying smoothly, golden hair flying, only laughed. "I needed to get out of the city. The mess you made is driving me crazy."

"I suppose you want me to apologize."

"Yes. Every once and awhile it'd be nice. I know your arrogance refuses it however." She joined me as we walked back to the Light Portals, wrapping her arm around mine. "We've never done this before."

I raised a brow. "What? Walk?"

"Wage a war."

Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense. "You could leave. Step down as councillor, retire to some villa, live a happy life. I can manipulate any other fool on the council."

"Haha, you are so clever aren't you. But you want me by your side." She sniffed, breathing in the city air, which reeked of battle and loss. Wow, such babies. "Because even an arrogant man like you wants help."

"I may be stupid, but I'm not dumb. I wish to try and save what I can. Otherwise, what's the point?"

Sasha shrugged, like a woman on edge. "You always were the best of us. But I wonder if this is too much, too much for a man whose indifference is greater than anything the world has ever seen."

"That's why you're here. To be the one who cares."

The witch sighed, a hint of regret and ease touching her lips. Even a cruel man would cringe at the sight. "And now I suppose we must start removing our weapons from our arsenal's. This is where I get scared. I'm not sure if the world is ready for what the 'mighty' Ditto Night has to offer."

"He has nothing. And everything."

"Ah. Then we are all doomed, are we not?" We walked the streets with poise, but I'm sure it looked like Sasha was supporting me. "Will you still be attending us at the Singing Goose tonight?"

"Of course," I said, thinking about the most alcoholic drinks I could think of. "I should have more energy too."

"Really? Why?"

"I'll have whacked off thoroughly. And I'm kinda horny from all this death going on."

Sasha rolled her eyes, chuckling kindly. "Boys. Total idiots."

"Yeah. Didn't I once catch you getting it on to the Brawny Man? Like on the paper towels?"

"It was convenient!" She yelled, smacking my arm, and we both laughed. The witch smiled cheerily. "We are going to die aren't we?"

"Probably. I'll protect you, so no worries." I huffed out cold air, seeing my precious breath leaving. No, don't go. Not without your friends. "Sasha, if I die, and you manage to survive this whole ordeal, you can find my will in the second drawer in my study desk. It's a red notebook. Written in black pen. It's for your eyes alone."

I knew it hurt her to hear those words. But they had to be said. Someone had to hand out my stuff. Someone deserves to know the truth.

"Please Ditto, don't do this to me," she whispered, holding me closer. "My parents always said my time was wasted on you. They still think you a joke. But we both know they're wrong. I just wished they had treated you better."

"Meh. I mean, they tolerated me. Which was enough." Finally, we came to the cities edge, watching the lake go back and forth with its waves. So peaceful. "I'm glad to have you by my side. It's been rather rare to have a person who's stuck with me for so long."

"Oh, don't get all sentimental on me, you oaf. We still have a long while to go before we can breathe easy." Sasha gave me a squeeze, ready to leave with dignity. "I'm ready to fight. But I can only keep the peace here for so long. The other Water councillors will go against me eventually."

"Huh. Me and Fina will do something about them eventually. But for now we must party. With a ton of beer."

Together we went back home, if only to remember the times we had succeeded. Because now everything should be only looked at with failure.

XXXX

The Singing Goose once again housed myself and friends, but instead of the normal crowd, Jamie and Halina were now sitting at our normal table. The night began with laughter and drinking, all of us getting some chicken wings and some hard ass whiskey. With Fina by my right and Jamie on my left, we couldn't help but laugh at every joke. Cry at a every story.

Paul sucked the meat of a chicken wing. "Super tasty."

"Wait-wait." Halina slid over another basket of wings, the sauce a dark brown. She smiled. "I--I bet youth can't eath all these in under as minute."

Paul looked offended. "Sure can."

And he did. It was awesome, and we all drank to it. I took a shot, loving the real buzz it gave. Damn I needed this. We all needed this.

About two hours went by, and Jamie started to rub up on me, his nice cheeks tinted red. "Ditto, you--you arth myth best friend. And I loveth yous. A lot. You hear me?"

He emphasised that by poking me repeatedly. Damnit man get ahold of yourself.

So the night when on, with all of us drinking to our heart's content, laughing and being loud. I won't bore you with the details. Just a bunch of fucks getting drunk and having a good time.

Eventually everyone was super intoxicated except for me and Paul, who watched with an amused smile. I studied Halina for a bit. She was basically passed out, face down and breathing steadily. Her warm-winter clothes were stained with alcohol and sauce. I sighed. "Paul, can you take Halina back to my place? I kinda want to stay a little bit longer."

He said nothing, and picked up the woman with both hands. Paul motioned at the others. "What of them?"

Sasha stirred, burping like a champ. Jamie slumped in his chair, causing Buddy to stir slightly. I think Buddy was awake enough, and he starred at Fina on the floor. "The mighty flower has wilted."

"I'm sure they'll be fine." I watched Buddy rise sluggishly, and he grabbed Sasha, going to take her home. The others were sound asleep, but I'm sure they'll get up eventually. Or Paul will get them, or myself. "Just let them rest for now."

Paul shrugged and went off, and I got up and sat at the bar. The vampire bartender for the night gave me a coffee, since my head was killing me. The late night had gone by in such a blurr, but I for one enjoyed every second of it.

The door opened, and Valory Asore sat beside me. She got the vampires attention and ordered a glass of white wine. After a small sip, she said, "You know, I never got the chance to thank you for your help with my sister. She's such a bitch sometimes."

I glanced at her, her red hair not as curly as normal. Still fashionable as ever though. "No need. After all, what are rivals for?"

"I mean it. Sandy is so arrogant and elite. She has no respect for anyone." Valory glared at her wine like it could feel her pain. Or wished it would take it away. "God, that sounds like me doesn't it?"

"Only a little," I said, holding my own cup with tender love. "But not that it matters now. I need soldiers. Warriors. Heroes. For a cause not my own."

Valory laughed, though it sounded strained. "Stop being humble. It doesn't suit you."

"And stop being nice. It's freaking me out." I wondered if I will ever find this peace again. Most likely not, but a fool can try. "If only we could be what we desired."

"I know the feeling," she replied, making some eye contact. Then she glanced at Jamie. "He still misses you, you know. When we go out for lunch together, I can tell. Can see his eyes longing."

God. There is no more selfish and horrible a man than myself. And it's killing me.

"I know," I whispered, wishing I wasn't who I was. "But we all know I can't be loved. Not now. Not ever."

Maybe, for once, Valory found a heart for a moment. "One day, Ditto. One day." She smiled as though the joke wrote itself. "But who would ever want to be with you is beyond me."

"Yeah? You didn't feel that way that one night we--"

"--I told you to never speak of that night ever," she interrupted, eyes fierce and scared. So much passion in such a tiny frame. "And if I have to remind you again, there will be consequences."

"That's the Valory we all know and love."

Her smirk matched her attitude. Cocky. "You want a hero? I'll give you a hero. And I shall burn the world with your tears."

And so together we sat and drank in the silence, waiting for our promises to come true. Waiting for a time where truth will finally speak volumes, and not in kindred whispers. I wage a battle to save a world that never saved me. A world that would see me destroyed if only to have a clear conscience.

A war not my own, a cause not my mission, a belief not worth fighting for. For the love of all things holy, when shall I be rewarded for the love I give? The love of the Necromancer greets his soldiers with a deadly response.

And nothing else.

I for one wish mercy on my foes. Because I may not be in the merciful mood.

Such is life, such is life.