"Thank you for dinner tonight Jack", Sierra climbs into bed just as I pull the blankets over her little unicorn PJs.

"You're welcome baby girl. Did you have a good time?" I slump down next to her, the mattress dipping low from my weight. Sierra nods fervently, moving her curls up and down in almost a cartoon like manner that I chuckle.

"I really like Kylie. She's my best friend", she smiles up at me, her left front tooth is finally making an entrance. My face beams right back. This kid was just adorably mischievous, open to love and I can see why Kylie liked playing dress up with her all the time – she's absolutely cute, kind of like a real life doll.

It still baffles me how any man would so readily give her up, what could have gone through his mind and allowed him to treat her this way. His own flesh and blood. I shake my head, not wanting to allow the dark thoughts I've had of him to surface, it makes me want to punch someone, preferably her douche bag dad.

I ruffle a couple of curls atop her head and she giggles, shuffling her little feet under the blanket until she feels snug and comfortable.

"Well I think she loves you", I say and watch her smile turn a wattage so high; the sun would look like a damn bedside lamp. It breaks my heart. I take her little palm inside my big one and hold it.

"I love you and your mama very much", I whisper slowly and watch as those little brown eyes grow big, squeezing on to her hand, I continue, "and if you let me, I'd like to take care of you both. Would you like that Sy?" I tilt my head at the end and watch her comprehend what I've just said. This is probably the most serious conversation I have ever had with a child. My breathing increases in anticipation to what she might say.

"Will you make my mama cry like dada used to?" she asks, her eyebrows dropping as she looked at me with a 'this means business' look.

I bite on my lower lip and shake my head, "never, I only want to see the both of you happy and smiling", I give her a lopsided grin.

She grins back at me and nods, "okay then, you can be with us" and just like that, I consider myself accepted. I drop down to her little forehead and gave it a tiny peck, whisper good night and get off the bed.

"I love you too, Jack", she says so softly, perhaps too softly, like she doesn't want me to hear it but I do and it sends me soaring through the fucking clouds.

Switching on her night light, I walk back out on to the hallway and rub my chest, the tingles of happiness I feel have me chuckling back to my room.

***

You ever walk into a room and think – 'wait a minute. Is this a dream? Is this some twisted form of Déjà vu?' That's exactly how I feel when I walk into my room; to Alisha coming out of the shower in the tiniest white towel. Her long, dark and wet tresses hang down her shoulders and back. Her beautiful face is clean of any product and her skin glistens with faint droplets of water. Perfection.

She makes her way to the walk-in-closet and then stands, her back facing me as she peruses the clothes looking for something to wear. Sauntering over in faux confidence while my semi hard on presses against my dress pants I stand right behind her, breathing in the scent of her vanilla body lotion. 

I lean in towards her ear, "Sierra's in bed and out for the night, " my voice jostles her and she jerks back, clutches to the knot on her towel.

"Jesus, Jackson! She gasps and then playfully nudges my chest with an elbow, "you frightened me!"

I chuckle, and then pull her close, her back to my front. Her tiny towel against my straining dick. I slowly turn her around and take in the beautiful woman before me. Thick and dark eyelashes look low to the floor. Flushed cheeks and rushed breathing tells me she's shy. 

 I smirk at the thought of her feeling shy around me even after the way we've been around each other.

I place a hand on the knot of her towel and with the other, take her chin and lift her gaze. She's nervously biting down on her lower lip and I growl, before bringing that face in for a kiss. Holding on to her mouth, I slip a hand around the back of her neck to make sure she stays there, then with my other hand, I yank down her towel.

Pulling away, I look down at the beauty before me. Fuck, how did I get so lucky? Our first night together, Alisha had been so worried, ashamed even,  to show herself to me but from the minute I looked at her, my mouth watered, my dick cried and my chest tightened.

Her curves are full and natural, heavy breasts with dark nipples, protrude out in the cold air and begging for my mouth. I lick my dry lips. Her waist is an hourglass with  a round pouch settling for a belly. 

Her stomach is a work of art. I take a finger and travel from her belly button down the exquisite markings. Pale pink lines claw her midriff, and lead to full hips; her thighs are thick and gorgeous that she puts Betty Boop to fucking shame.

I let my finger travel further down over the bump of her tiny incision's scar. It's pale brown. Evidence of bringing life to this world. I don't know why but it caused my chest to swell with emotion. She was amazing, strong, and so fucking real. Did she see it though? Did she know?

I bring my mouth to the column of her long neck and breathe in the sweet scent of her vanilla lotion as I began to whisper I love yous through a flutter of kisses. She trembles, her knees weak from my touch and that only fuels my wants. 

I grab a palm full of thick flesh and squeeze, a moan brushes against my ear. Okay, fuck the foreplay, I'm going caveman. I lift her up and she instinctively wraps those long legs around my waist. Her soapy scent clouding the air I breathe, I love it. Her finger splay across my stubble, her little nails play with my jaw while her tongues dances with mine.

Her very taste is rousing me so much more that my dick now hitting the zipper of my pants and the pain is unbearable. I throw her down to the middle of our bed. Ours. Not mine or hers but ours. It feels familiar, it's warm and gooey to say and it just feels so right.

 I watch her sprawled out in front of me. Her eyes are dark and drooping, mouth slightly parted in anticipation with her breasts perk in attention as she sits up on her elbows.

Climbing on top, I nudged her legs open with my knees. All my breath is knocked out of at the sight of her pink, wet and glistening center. Beautiful. Her soft matted curls form a landing strip and my dick's about to hit its popular destination. Settling over her, there's a mischievous gleam in her dark eyes as she cautiously reaches out for me. I hiss from the mere touch of her warm hands on my length. Peppering soft kisses from my chin, jaw and down my neck, she playfully nibbles on my shoulders – all the while stroking me through my pants

I clamp a hand over hers and stop her, at this rate I'll end up coming inside pants instead of inside of her, speaking of which. I stop, get off the bed and in record speed strip off all my clothes. Jumping back in I'm welcomed by a warm, bubbly laugh before I pull her hands above her head. I intertwine my fingers through hers and squeeze.

"Are you on the pill?" my voice comes out rough and way too eager, then again only thoughts of going bare with her would make me this excited. This hard.

She nods with a gulp whispers, "Yes", I let go of her and she lets her fingers travel up and down my chest in soothing lines. I stare deep into those whiskey coloured eyes, chest clenching with raw emotion. I feel things for her that I've never felt for anyone. Its a foreign possession that I still can't seem to wrap my head around.

I align my dick at her slick entrance, bracing my weight on my elbows besides her head and then slowly begin to sink inside of her. The axis of the earth stops. A record scratches and time stands still because holy fucking hell, being inside this woman, feeling her, filling her...it's the most indescribable feeling in the entire world.

Her heat envelopes me. Welcoming me. We groan in unison from the sheer intensity of it all. I pull back ever so slightly, one hand in hers, the other on her plush hip, fingers digging into her soft caramel skin as I thrust back in. 

She lets out a soft whimper, rocking her hips to meet each thrust. I worship the beautiful woman before me, kissing her lips, her soft jaw, her neck, collarbone and shoulder. With each thrust, I roll my hips and she moans, soft and beautiful.

Pleasure builds within us. She's closer than I am and the need to make her come takes over. Her pussy clenches around my cock, tugging on to me, crying for release. Leaving her hip where I'm pretty sure I've bruised her, my fingers travel down to her clit where I immediately start adding pressure while massaging the little soft nubbin. Her body tightens, she grips onto my shoulders, unconsciously scratching my back. My jaw locks as my balls begins to tighten.

Her breathing becomes erratic and she pulls both her knees up allowing me to sink deeper , "fuck," is all I can manage to growl.

She moans in reply. Slowly, she sinks her teeth into my shoulder and bites me, her body trembling as she silences herself while her orgasm tears through her very being and mine follows ensue. I push my lips down on hers, forcing her mouth open allowing her to swallow my pleasure through my kiss. Soon we're panting and I wince while I slowly pull out.

Not wanting to let go of her, I re-position us so that her cheek lies on my chest. Her leg is over mine and her arm is draped across my stomach.

The room is quiet except for our breathing. I close my eyes reveling in the silence. In the scent of sex, vanilla and sweat that now floats in the air. I feel her lift her head and I slowly peek through an eye, her mussed curls from sex now frame her oval face and her cheeks are flushed. She drops her lips on my stubble and gives me a kiss, "I love you Jackson", she whispers and I smile. Her eyes shine and something tells me she's finally opening up. As if she was admitting it to herself more than she was to me.

That feeling in my chest, it burns, not in pain but of a new emotion, of possession. She was mine. Out of love because she loved me.

"I love you too beautiful." I whisper as I pull her closer. She lays back on my chest and I simply listen to her breathe. The way her short and quick breaths turn even and slow. Eventually her arm goes limp around my waist and she turns her face ever so slightly, nuzzling into my chest. 

I take a good look at the woman in my arms, the woman I suddenly realised, I've waited for my whole life. Since when did you become this cheesy, my mind retorts, I chuckle to myself and then shut my eyes.

***

"COOOKIESSS", the blue haired fucker screams so loud I jerk awake and wince at the late morning sunlight that seeps through the windows. What time is it? Turning to the bed, I realize it's empty and scowl. Grumbling soft curses I walk stark naked to my dresser and pull out a pair of flannel drawstring pants. Slip them on and walk out.

Out in the hallway, I'm immediately hit by an unusual smell. It's strong, packed with flavour and smells as if its spicy as hell. My stomach grumbles and my mouth begins to water. Following the scent much like a cartoon follows the smell of food, I make my way to the open kitchen where my girlfriend –see what I did there? is busy sauntering about. 

There are pots on the stove, each bubbling away, the aromatic flavours play now in full throttle. I clear my throat to make my presence known and I'm greeted to the most breath-taking smile.

"Hey you're awake –" her smile drops and her eyes pop wide in horror "Oh my god, did we wake you up?" she eyes the TV and drops her gaze to the floor where Sierra is comfortably sprawled on her belly, crayons scatter around her while she cups her chin with her palms, concentrating on the words of the great and mighty Cookie Monster.

I smirk and shake my head, "No, was just time to wake up." I stretch, my long arms going above my head and watch as her eyes travel down the length of my body. Loving how her mouth forms a little O. Once she comes back up to my face, I give her a knowing smirk and raise an eyebrow. She shakes her head and fights a smile before turning back around and focusing on the pots.

Heading to the coffee pot, I pour God's gift to man into a mug and tip my chin to the pot closest to me, it's cooking meat that much I'm sure of, It is red in colour and smells deee-licious. "What you got going on over here?" I ask as I sip on the brown fuel.

She beams up at me, a look of pride in her eyes. She looks beautiful in her jean shorts and plaid shirt, bare footed and hair in a messy bun, she looks at peace, at home, and knowing that I've put that look on her gives me inexplicable satisfaction.

"I was on a call with my sister this morning-" She tucks a curl behind her ear, "and she was telling me about how they'd just finished up dinner". I nod slowly trying to understand but coming up blank.

"Well, I just missed the food back home so much...so...I thought I'd cook us some for lunch." She adds a nonchalant shrug, but I can see how excited she is about this and the swell of pride in her tone and it instantly makes me love her even more. Her appreciation for the little things in life, even if it's just a plate of a home cooked meal.

I clasp my hands and together and rub my palms excitedly while looking down at the working stove, "Alright then, what's on the menu", my stomach adds a grumble at the end of the sentence and she's begins to bounce on the balls of her feet while she speaks. Checking each item from the menu off while holding up a finger.

"So I made, saffron rice or yellow rice as its more commonly known back home, we've got a red chicken curry, dhal curry - lentil curry  - and I just finished up frying some papadum," she tips her chin towards a plate of weird looking crackers. 

I look at the dishes in front of me, they look hot, smell fantastic and something tells me they're packed with spices. My mouth begins to water as I turn back to her.

"Is it lunch time yet?

She laughs while she pours the curries into a couple of ceramic bowls and shakes her head, "no, the rice will take a few more minutes to boil, why don't you just put your feet up and relax.." heading over to the sink, I  rinse my mug just as her phone begins to beep in a text.

"Oh..." is all she said, I turn around and notice her eyebrows drawn together, the worry weighing down on the sides of her lips.

"Everything okay?" I ask, wiping my hands on a dishrag and tilting my head.

"I'm actually not too sure, "she gnaws her bottom lip before adding, "it's Wanda and she wants me to check my email. She says it's urgent." Her lips press into a firm line, as she looks up at me from the screen.

I lean against the island across from her and place a hand on her cellphone, "okay, so let's first check the email and see what's going on." She nods placidly and then goes to our room to retrieve the notebook.

***

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Alisha,

With all the chaos surrounding you and Jack Teller, we've decided to pull the plug on the vlog segment we're working on.

I must say, I am quite disappointed in your behavior, I expected this sort of thing from a more inexperience writer. Nevertheless, I won't pry.

Please be at work in your office this Monday and ready to handle your next task.

Best,

Wanda

Ouch. Okay well, I'm just glad its not an email saying she's fired. I look up from the computer only to find Alisha's eyebrows still furrowed as she gnaws on her lip.

I cluck my tongue and swat her hand away, "You don't need to stress over this so much", I shrug and with an arm on her waist, pull her against me. Her back against the island. I drop my mouth to her neck and leave a long trail of kisses, loving the moment she heaves a sigh and wraps her arms around my neck.

She smells like vanilla with a hint of sweat and the fumes of the food she's cooked. It warps my brain and I love it. If I could bury my face in her neck all day, I damn well would.

"Mama―", Sierra tiny feet pad through the cool marble. Untangling ourselves we look down at the tiny person. Her hair is askew and she's got colourful smudges on her hands and face. She holds a pencil in one hand and a drawing paper in the other.

"Yes baby girl", Alisha stretches her arms above her head and re-does the messy bun.

"How do you spell Jackson?" She asks shyly while looking down at her tiny toes.

This peaks my interest so I bend down on my knees to reach her level. With raised eyebrows and a smile I ask, "Why would you like to know how to spell my name?"

She then hesitantly raises the drawing and that's when I see it. There are three human-like figures standing next to a big ball of blue. Two of the figures have squiggly lines a top their head, and at the bottom they've been tagged "MAMA" and "SY".

The big blue puff also has a name, its Cookie Monster. All that's left is the longer human figure with weirdly shaped arms. I point to the drawing and with a straight faces ask, "Who is that Sierra?"

She gives me a melodious giggle, "that's you Jack!" she says, her little cheeks turning a soft rouge as she speaks.

"And what's on his...arms?" the question came from Alisha, who stands behind me, bent at the waist and pointing at the picture.

Sierra rolls her eyes as if the answer was obvious, "those are his muscles, mama!"

I snort and it causes Sierra's mouth to pop open, Alisha pinches me on my back so I quickly spin the laugh around, "yeah...Alisha, can't you see how strong my muscles are!" I flex and it makes Sierra laugh, the sound like a little bell chiming, clear and full. Her smile is open and innocent. An innocence you can't replicate.

Alisha rolls her eyes dramatically and then shakes her head, "alright you two, come on it's time to eat" she claps excitedly and I rise back up, taking the drawing and pencil from Sy. I scribble my name next to the portrait of me and then, I do something I never thought I'd be doing.

I walk over to the fridge and then stick it on with a Bullwinkle fridge magnet Heather placed there a few years back, when I first got the apartment. Taking a step back I admire my new artwork. Growing up, my mom made sure no matter how ugly our drawings were, she'd place them up on the fridge. Making us feel proud of our 'hard work' or simply giving us a sense of achievement. Heather makes sure to do the same for Kylie and now, now I got to do the same for Sierra and it feels pretty damn good.

Sierra claps her hands in glee and then hops on to one of the bar stools by the kitchen island. Note to self, its time I invest in an actual dining table.

Alisha lays out plates and ceramic bowls of food. Each dish carrying a unique fragrance that smells fantastic. I watch how she serves a plate for Sierra, first the soft and fluffy yellow rice, with cashew nuts and peas, second the red coloured chicken curry gravy with two succulent pieces of chicken breast, next comes the mustardy coloured dhal curry which is actually a gravy made from lentils and lastly, the papadum which really look like big ass fried crackers. Duplicating a plate for myself, I serve up the goods and dig in.

Oh, did I mention we eat with our hands? Apparently, there's no better way to eat rice. The first mouth is just amazing. I close my eyes and revel in the different flavours my tongue discovers. Chili, mustard, the soft bits of the papadam now soaked in curry and the crunch of the cashew, its all there and blended in so perfectly. I groan and open my eyes to the muffled snickers of Sierra and her mother.

"This is so good!" my admission seems to please Alisha and she gives me a humbled smile.

"I'm glad you like it" She says before taking another mouth. I shake my head, waiting till my own mouthful is swallowed. "I don't like it...I love it!" I lick my fingers before forming another ball of rice and curry.

Sierra giggles, "I love mama's food too!" she admits with a little grain of rice stuck on the corner of her chin.

I reach across the table and flick the grain away, meeting Alisha's eyes at the same time, there's a sadness in them and I can only imagine what she's thinking. Why couldn't it have been this way with her husband? Why couldn't she have had that happily ever after?

As much as it bugs me that even after all these years, she'd still in retrospect think of him, I really can't fault her. She's been with one man her entire life and now, even as she kicks ass and does this whole parenting thing on her own, I know she misses him and wishes he could share in on it.

I look at her and am at awe. I can't even imagine how it must feel, to have to give her life to someone for so long and build an entire life together, even if it was for a little while. A person changes after that and it can't be easy trying to find yourself after either.

I watch her across the table between bites of more delicious food. What can I do to make her see me? I need to gain her trust. Yes, I had her love, but she's loved before and it only hurt her in the end so I understand why she has her guard up...but what can I do to fix this? And then, just as I bite into a cardamom, I'm  hit with the obvious.