Amanda: Mistyped somethin' as "het lag" so now we have a term for when you grow up thinking you're straight.

-

Samantha: You know who's got a punchable face? Tipsy.

-

[Surrounded by Dumb@$$es has entered chat Dumb@$$ery]

Dumb@$$ Emi: A theif.

Surrounded by Dumb@$$es: You mean "thief"?

Dumb@$$ Emi: No. Theif. Always I before E, except after C.

Dumb@$$ Ryu: Thceif.

Surrounded by Dumb@$$es: No.

-

Min Yi, after spending her 4 dollars on a batch of cookies: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.

-

Tomoe: I hate being told to do something I was already planning on doing.

Tomoe: Like I was all about doing that task, and then you told me to do it and now I am annoyed and this task is now 300 times less likely to be completed.

-

Merlot: Like a fine wine, I get better with age.

Cerulean: That's just a fancy way to admit you're old.

Merlot: I'M NOT OLD, DAMNIT, I'M ONLY THIRTY TWO.

-

Iekami: What are you doing?

Noa: Drawing a cup reward with a feline butt.

Iekami: What? That sounds horrible.

Noa: Yeah, it's a cat-@$$-trophy.

-

Kuroko: How to kiss a boy- Grab his waist. Slip your hand in his pocket. Steal his wallet. Don't even kiss him. Just run.

-

Sarah: I like to scream for the entire duration of horror movies so I'm not caught off guard.

-

Bé, writing on her arm in the middle of Class after making a terrible Joke: I'm an embarrassment, but I'm a happy embarrassment.

-

Kouki, to Ryu: You're not the dumbest person in the world, but you better pray they don't die.

-

My dad: Danke schoen.

Me:

Me: Y'all ever understand a sentence in another language without translate and you're like wow I'm really out here being buy linguini?

-

Ellas: Let's break a window, it's too hot.

Kai: Or, and just hear me out here... You could just open one.

-

Bé: I tried to form a gang once, when I was younger.

Some Dude: And how did that go?

Bé: It turned into a Dance Group.

-

[Somewhere, in an Omegaverse AU, because I find this particular concept hilarious]

Emine: Aren't Omegas supposed to take Heat Suppressors or something?

Ryu: Yep! Though I've never needed them, I punch the heat away!

Kouki: It's a wonder how you haven't died yet.

-

042: Thought I saw a shooting star but the neighbors above me are flicking cigarette butts out the window.

-

Noa: I really hope no one put LSD in my sausage roll.

Euphemia:

River:

Iekami:

Iekami: Why would you even think of that happening?

-

[Titus Sauce has entered Chat NINE IN THE AFTERNOOOOOOOOOOON-]

Titus Sauce: Y'all been saying I'm cute but I don't have a boo so who lying???

Eye See You: ...

Eye See You: It's 2 AM, Sarah.

-

Ryu: What if whenever you cracked your knuckles your fingers started to glow like glow sticks?

Kouki:

Emine:

A smol Lucien in the background: YEAH!

-

Samantha: Remember kids, the only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.

-

Tsumi, from Forgotten-OC-Hell: I'm not even a 2nd choice. I'm like the 8th choice. Sometimes a 10th.

Ian: Shut up, at least you got a design.

-

Njeri: Ameyalli? Why are you crying?

Ameyalli, through sobs and hiccups: I stepped on an ant, a POOR DEFENSELESS ANT. I'M A MONSTER.

Njeri:

-

Kuroko: What's the worst possible job you could do? Like... If a prison warden wanted to make you suffer for your crimes?

Samantha: Tattoo Artist.

Kuroko: That doesn't sound too bad?

Samantha: Oh yeah? Wait until you see people making bad life choices every day and you're not allowed to criticize them.

:>