"I'm sorry about this, man," Timmy said. "I don't think I'm going to be able to take you to the Galloping Centipede Inn. That random mob really did a number on my rickshaw."

"Yeah, it's okay," Zeke said. "I didn't really want to go there anyway. I was just kind of going along for the ride."

"You got a place to stay?" Timmy asked. "It's getting pretty late."

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I don't. And I am kind of tired. I couldn't afford to stay at the Galloping Centipede Inn anyway."

"You need a cheap place to stay?" Timmy asked.

"More like a free place to stay. I kind of don't have any floss."

"I know a place nearby," Timmy said. "The guy who runs it owes me a favor. I gave him a free ride one time after he got mugged right outside his motel. Now, I've got to warn you, this place isn't as classy as the Galloping Centipede Inn, but it's got mostly clean, mostly dry beds to sleep in."

"I couldn't ask you to do that."

"It's no problem. Heck, that's where I'm planning on sleeping tonight. I just got evicted from my apartment last night. Word to the wise, don't blow your rent floss on socks. Even if they are collectibles."

"I'll make a note of that," Zeke said. The mob had finished destroying Timmy's rickshaw and had moved on leaving them standing alone in the street.

"I don't think there's any salvaging this thing," Timmy said as he held up what looked like a broken wheel spoke. "Let's just leave the pieces here and get to the Airless Coffin."

"The what?" Zeke asked.

"The Airless Coffin. That's the name of the motel."

"Well, that sounds really inviting."

"It's not meant to be inviting," Timmy said with a shrug. "Let's just say it caters to a bit of a different clientele than places like the Galloping Centipede Inn."

"I've been to the Galloping Centipede, you know. It didn't strike me as all that classy itself."

"Yeah, well, just wait until you see this place."

Timmy led him down several dark alleyways. They had to step over no less than three homeless people before they came to a dirty brown door. A pink light behind a cage flickered on and off, but there didn't seem to be any signs indicating that this was a motel. Nonetheless, Timmy seemed confident they were in the right place and he knocked on the door.

A hunched over green goblin with long pointy ears and a few wispy strands of yellow hair on the top of his head answered the door. "Sorry, no vacancies. Go away now."

"Not even for your old buddy Timmy?"

"Who?" the goblin said as he squinted at them.

"Me. You know, Timmy."

"Never heard of you," the goblin said as he started to close the door.

Timmy shoved his foot into it before he could shut it all the way. "Don't you remember? I gave you a free ride to the medical clinic after you got robbed right here where we're standing? You said you owed me a life debt."

"Oh, yes. I vaguely remember that. Didn't you already cash in on that debt?"

"No, I can promise you I didn't."

"Oh, I see. Well, what can I do for you?"

"My friend here and I are in need of a free place to sleep tonight. Separate rooms please, if you've got them."

"I definitely don't. I'm completely booked full. Although, I do have one room where I haven't seen the guy come out in several days and there's a bit of an odd smell wafting out. It's entirely possible he could have died in there. If he is dead that would free up a room for you. You guys would have to share a bed though. You want me to have Lenny go see if the room has become available? You might have to give us a few minutes to clear out any dead bodies we might find, but then I don't see any reason why you guys couldn't get right in there."

"Yes, please," Timmy said.

"Okay," the goblin said as he turned and called out over his shoulder. "Lenny! Go see if we've got a stiff in room 108, would ya? And hurry it up! We got some customers on standby here!" He turned back to them. "You're going to have to wait out here a few minutes, okay? And watch your backs. I got jumped here myself not three weeks ago." He closed the door in their faces.

"This place seems a wee bit sketchy," Zeke said.

"Yeah, I know it's not exactly a first class resort or anything, but I've stayed here lots of times and never come to harm. I do usually come away with a flea infestation and one time I had a weird rash on my groin, but that could have been a coincidence."

"I see," Zeke said. There was an awkward silence for a minute before Zeke decided to try changing the subject. "What are you going to do about your rickshaw? Don't you need it to earn floss?"

"Yeah, I kind of do. I suppose I'll get another one somehow."

"Don't you need floss to buy another rickshaw?"

"I'm going to have to speak to my insurance agent about that. I know I'm covered in the event it gets damaged by the breakout of a flash mob. Those things are dangerous with all the singing and dancing going on everywhere. I'm not sure about good old fashioned regular mobs. I was much more concerned about flash mobs to tell you the truth. It seems like those things are breaking out every other day. At any rate, I'm not too worried about it. If nothing else I'll take Bobby for all he's worth in a game of poker and that'll cover my rickshaw expenses."

A minute later the door opened again and the goblin stuck his head out. "Well, I've got some good news for you. Turns out the guy wasn't dead in there. He was air-drying about two hundred pounds of old fish, which accounts for the weird smell. It also qualifies as a violation of his rental agreement so we kicked him out. We also sprayed the room down with some air freshener. It kind of just mingled with the old fish smell, so now it smells like an unholy mix of fish and musk. But I'm sure you'll get used to it. And since you gave me that ride to the medical clinic, it's on the house. Enjoy your stay at the Airless Coffin, mates. Lenny will show you to your room."

Lenny turned out to be a hairless rat covered in scabs who walked with a limp. He gave a brief grunt indicating they should follow him. He led them down a narrow hallway with a stained orange carpet. He came to an abrupt stop in front of a door that had the numbers 1 and 8 on it. There was a gap in the middle where Zeke supposed a zero might once have been. There were also numerous dents and scratches in the door. And sure enough, a funky smell was wafting out from behind the door.

"This is your room, blokes. 108, eh? Some folks report it's haunted. I've never seen the ghost, but I've never stayed in this room either. I reckon you'll be fine. It didn't seem to bother that last fellow with all the fish." He handed them a metal key on a large ring and then shuffled off down the hallway.

Timmy unlocked the door and they headed in. The smell was even stronger once they went in. Zeke went and immediately opened a window in an attempt to air the place out.

There was a small double bed with a plain brown blanket on it and two thin pillows. A threadbare chair sat in one corner next to a battered desk. There was the barest suggestion of a closet. It was more of a small indentation in the wall with a rack hung up that was long enough to hold about four garments.

The room itself was not haunted. The bathroom, however, most decidedly was as Zeke discovered when he went in to wash his face. He was greeted by the sight of a huge hairy naked ogre who was slathering himself up with soap in the shower, which didn't have a curtain. Zeke let out a little shriek and leaped back out into the main room. "I thought they said the last guy checked out of here."

"They did," Timmy said with a shrug.

"Then why is there someone using our shower?"

Timmy poked his head into the bathroom. "What are you talking about? There's no one in here."

"What?" Zeke said as he walked back into an empty bathroom. "I swear I just saw someone in there. I'm not crazy."

"Maybe he slipped out the window when he saw you," Timmy said.

Zeke looked at the little slit of a window in the bathroom. "He was pretty big. I don't think he could fit through that thing."

"Maybe it was the ghost," Timmy said.

The ogre suddenly materialized in the shower again scrubbing down his gargantuan hairy buttocks. "Oops, dropped the soap," he said as he bent over to retrieve it.

"I guess I don't have to wash my face. Or use the bathroom at all really. I think I'm just going to hit the sack." He climbed into the bed, which was about as soft as a slab of concrete. The pillow was flimsy and sank to almost nothing under the weight of his head.

"Looks like we're going to have to share the bed," Timmy said as he switched off the light. "Don't worry. I don't snore too loudly." He got under the covers and immediately began snoring at wall-rattling decibels. But that was soon drowned out when the ghost of the ogre began singing at an even louder volume. Zeke tried pulling the blanket over his head. He was in for one heck of a long night.