Callie's POV

I stumbled when we appeared in a lush garden. His large hands grabbed my arms and steadied me. "Easy Zia, wouldn't want you to fall and hurt those little ones," he smirked.

"You do know that's not my name anymore, don't you?" I asked him, pulling away from his touch.

He grinned, holding his hands up, "I know, but to me, I still see that young girl who drew my attention. Of course, finding out who and what you are explains my reaction."

"How so? I thought it was just the blood bond?"

He motioned for me to walk with him and I did. I had no idea where or when we were, but the garden was breathtaking. I paused near a lilac bush and took a deep breath. I was so lost in the fragrance and beauty that I failed to realize he'd come up behind me. "Incubi are drawn to succubi, Zia. You are the direct descendant of the single most powerful succubus in creation. Add in your purity blessing and that makes you irresistible." His hand trailed along my arm as he spoke. I could feel his essence ebbing and flowing, but not forced. I couldn't stop my response as my heart rate became elevated. "The moment you walked into that courtyard, I wanted you for my own," he whispered in my ear. "You have been my obsession, my craving for centuries, Zia. Your wolves aren't wrong about my connection to your sister. It isn't a choice."

"Choice?" I snapped and spun around facing him nose to nose. "It sure seemed like a choice every time you defiled me, every time you killed my children, killed me! It seemed like a choice you enjoyed, hell, you reveled in it!"

His nostrils flared as his eyes turned crimson. He let out a low growl as he grabbed me and pulled me against him. "Is it a choice that you're aroused right now, Zia? I'm a demon - an incubus. It is in my very nature to deceive, seduce and destroy. You know that all too well, don't you? Each time you're with your mates, you have to hold back now. The demon in you wants to devour them, to feed until you get your fill, but you can't, can you? If you did, they would be nothing but hollow shells - soulless."

I wanted to pull away, but I couldn't. He was right. Even with Gabriel, I had to be careful. I was terrified of this new power, terrified I would kill the ones I love.

"So are you telling me you've killed me again and again accidentally?" I scoffed.

He chuckled, "No. I won't lie. I've enjoyed feasting on you, but over the years it has become less. There were times I couldn't do it myself and I had to influence others." I rolled my eyes in disbelief. "The battlefield, the fertility ritual, the wolf, the bear," he started to list the times. I noticed most of them were recent incarnations. His eyes were still crimson, but they held something... regret?

"Why - why did it become less enjoyable?" I pushed, desperate to understand.

His hand trailed down my face, muttering, "Always the inquisitive one." I started to ask what he meant when his lips crashed against mine and my mind was flooded with moments between us - some violent, while others were gentle, almost loving. I recognized some scenes, while others I did not. His fingers tangled in my hair and tugged, making my lips part as a low moan escaped me. His tongue darted in and swept over my own. Your light calls to my darkness. I am drawn to you, Zia.

His voice filled my mind, and I found myself on the ground underneath him. He held my hands above my head with one of his, while the other ran along my body. When our kiss broke, I was panting. He watched my every reaction, his eyes glittering. "You feel it, don't you, Zia? The connection, the desire - it's just below the surface, clawing to get out, to be satisfied." His hand pressed between my legs, his fingers making circles over my clit. I bucked and moaned as I breathed in, pulling his essence. "Fuck, Zia," he groaned when he felt the pull. "You've never pulled from me before, my goddess, please don't stop," he begged, his body grinding against mine.

"Stop, Clay," I said softly. "We need to discuss our bargain." His eyes snapped open and locked on mine.

"Well played, Zia," he said, his tone colder now. He did not move as he asked, "What are you offering in exchange for information, or better yet for my help?"

"Are the two mutually exclusive?"

He chuckled, "You are definitely Samael's daughter - always the wordsmith." He shifted his weight so that I clearly felt his hard cock pressed against my core, then spoke, "They are not mutually exclusive, but since I do not know the extent of your sister's power, I hesitate to help. Self-preservation, of course."

I moved slightly, watching his pupils dilate slightly as I rubbed against him, "What is your price?"

His eyes darkened, "So innocent - that's not how it works, my goddess. If you summon help, you must make a sacrificial offering. It is up to you to entice me, not the other way around." I felt his essence surrounding me and shivered. He leaned closer to my ear, "I have countless centuries of experience at this game, love. You can't outmaneuver me."

I held his gaze, searching for something, any hint of what I could bargain with that wouldn't cost me my life. "Why does the blood bond affect us so? I mean, I'm a fucking vampire and I've never felt a reaction like the one I have to you. Why is that?"

I don't know if my question or my admission surprised him more. He leaned back and said, "I'm not entirely sure, but the moment our blood mingled and she set the curse, I was hooked." He grinned, then nuzzled my neck, "So I affect you, Zia? Not just my essence, but me?"

"If I tell you, will you tell me everything you know?" I offered.

"Hmmm, an interesting offer, but not enough," he mused, "Show me, little goddess and I'll answer your questions."

I stiffened. Could I do this? Would they ever forgive me?

Clay moved away, completely releasing me. "You actually were considering it, weren't you?" His voice was surprised. "Are you really that afraid, Zia?"

I broke.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I began to shake. "I'm terrified. I can't keep doing this." I put my hand over my stomach, "They don't deserve this, none of them did. I don't even understand what I did to make her hate me so much. If you're going to kill me, just know this will be the last time. I made Lilith and Sam promise they would stop my soul, their souls, from entering the cauldron. Oblivion is better than this endless nightmare." I couldn't catch my breath, I was sobbing so hard. I pulled at my hair and let out a scream as I cried.

His arms circled me and he pulled me onto his lap. My fingers dug into his arms as I continued to cry. He didn't say a word. He simply held me and stroked my hair as I broke into a million pieces.

I have no idea how long we stayed like that when he finally broke the silence. "I'm not going to kill you or your children, Zia."

"Do you have a choice?" I asked honestly. "What about your bond and oath to Zilla?"

"Let me worry about that," he answered. "She doesn't know about them, and I plan to keep it that way." He muttered under his breath, "pala madarikatua" and a curved knife appeared in his hand. "Take this." He held the knife out to me. I looked at him in confusion. He sighed, "It's a cursed blade, one of the few things that can kill an incubus or succubus. Don't remove the sheath unless you intend to kill me or your sister, although I doubt it will work on her."

"Why?" I asked.

"She's an accolade of Hecate, Zia, and she's powerful. I've never met a witch that could bind me, but she did. I haven't found a way to break it either, and fuck I've tried."

"No, I meant why are you giving me this? But thanks for the information," I grinned.

"Cheeky girl," he smiled back. "The blade is to kill me if she sends me after you again. I don't know if I can go against her orders, to be honest. Right now, I'm here with you of my own free will. She has no idea where I am or that you are pregnant. If she finds out, then I have no doubt she will send me for you and the father."

I looked at the blade and then back at him. "Aren't you afraid I'll kill you right now?"

He pointed the knife toward his chest, "If you must, then I'll accept your judgment, my goddess. We both know I've earned it." My hand shook at the thought of ending his life. I couldn't do it, not like this. Maybe in a life-or-death situation, but not here, not now.

I set the blade on the ground next to us, then turned back to meet his gaze. "You make my heart race, even when I don't want it to. Even at the brink of death, you make my body burn with desire. And now, well now you make me want to kiss you, to feel your skin against mine. I'm drawn to you, Clay. I want to hate you for everything you've done to me and those I love, but I find it harder and harder each time I see you. I don't know if I can ever forgive you, but I'm also afraid of never seeing you again."

His eyes were wide. "Wh...why did you tell me all of that?"

"You earned my trust, and a bargain is a bargain," I said, then putting my hands on either side of his face, I leaned up and kissed him.

****

"Did you find your answers?" Gabriel's voice came from the darkened room.

"Answers and more questions, but you already know that don't you, my guide, my watcher?" I asked him. He let out a low growl. "Would you rather I lie?" I demanded.

He stepped forward, showing he was in full demon form, towering over me, "Is this what you want, Callie? Is this what draws you to him? I just want to understand."

"Oh Gabriel," I sighed, "I wish I understood so I could explain it to you. Do you understand why you were drawn to me, to Sang? Maybe it is just the blood bond, but it's grown over the years. I will not make excuses for his crimes, nor have I forgiven them, but I do have a better understanding after today." I held out the blade Clay had given me.

Gabriel took a step back, "Where the hell did you get that from? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

I laughed, "Yes, I have been well informed. Clay gave it to me. He wants me to kill him if Sang forces him to come after me again." Gabriel's eyes widened the red receding. "Now do you understand? This isn't just about the past, it's about the here and now, about the future." I sat down in the chair with a huff, "I learned a lot about Sang, Clay, and even myself today. You stand there towering over me as if I'm only attracted to your demon form, but Gabriel, you forget one thing. I'm a demon. I may not look like one, but both of my parents are demons, so that makes me one hundred percent demon. Is it really so surprising that I'd be drawn to darkness, even when it hurts me?"

He knelt before me. "Do you love him?"

I shook my head, "No, but someday I might. I really don't know. I don't understand any of this - I mean, is it real or just a cosmic spell that is pulling us to one another? It's changing both of us - he claims he can't bring himself to hurt me again. Do I believe him?"

Gabriel shifted to his human form and stood before me, "Do you want to believe him?" I nodded hesitantly. "Then believe him until he proves otherwise, but you need to tell the others what you've learned - what's changed."

Author's Notes: Yeah, I know, here I go making things muddy again...