A/N: Credit to Renowned-Wolf for helping with a few things.

Scene opens with Charlie and Vaggie in their room. Charlie is packing clothes into a suitcase while Vaggie sits on the bed, looking troubled because Charlie is overpacking a lot of things to the point she has a closet-sized suitcase, a guitar case, two extra large suitcase luggage, and a small handbag.

Charlie: Ok, I have my warm weather clothes and my cold weather clothes. I have a light jacket, flak jacket and rain jacket- wait, does it rain in Heaven?

Vaggie: Charlie, you and Y/N are only going to Heaven for a few hours.

Charlie stands up and paces a bit.

Charlie: Vaggie, The three of us are only going to heaven for a day. And I just want to be prepared! It's our last chance to convince heaven a soul can be redeemed. I feel like Y/N's been making a lot of progress.

Vaggie: Yeah, I wish I could come, sweetie, but I have that...thing.

Charlie: What thing?

Vaggie: The thing with the.. thing uhm.. fuck, gah, I'm such a bad liar.

Charlie takes Vaggie's hand.

Charlie: Vaggie, you're my partner, I need you there with me.

Vaggie: (sighs) Fine.

Charlie: Yes!!

Charlie hugs Vaggie and kisses her on the cheek.

Cut to Husk in the lobby. You walk in wheeling a suitcase.

Husk: Got everything you need, Baby?

Y/N: Well, I've never been to Heaven, so I'm not really sure what I should expect. Good thing is Charlie, Vaggie, and I are only going for a day.

Husk: You nervous?

Y/N: A little. The first forces of Heaven I encountered were hypocrite Cherubs defending a scumbag. Then I find out that Angels come down once a year to commit Genocide, and now Adam wants to make that a twice a year occurrence.

You take a few swigs of Beelzejuice straight out of the bottle. 

Y/N: Ugh. Fucking Adam. That dude is technically our however-many-greats grandfather, and based on everything Charlie said, he's a complete scumbag.

Angel walks in, looking exhausted.

Angel Dust: Oh, fuck.

Y/N: Everything ok? You look exhausted, what happened?

Angel Dust: It's who happened to me, and the answer is everyone! Twice. Val had me working 16 hours straight on a fucking whim. The absolute dickbag. UGH!

While Angel is explaining this, he pulls his hands back to straighten his backside with crackles of bone being popped. He collapses on the couch to rest or sleep for the night. Charlie and Vaggie come into the scene with Vaggie holding two luggage suitcase with all of a sudden, the wall explodes, freaking Angel out.

Y/N: Everyone, STOP fucking up the walls of places I work/live! This is the already the third time this year!

The smoke clears, showing Cherri Bomb holding another bomb in her hands.

Cherri Bomb: What up, hoes! [laughs]

Angel Dust: Holy shit! Cherri Bomb? Long time no see baby!

Cherri: Angie, ya bitch! You been texting me depressing shit all day! Figured we could tear shit up like old times. (playfully jabs his gut) It's been fucking forever!

She tosses a bomb to Charlie.

Cherri Bomb: Here, hold this.

Charlie: (fumbling with it) Ah! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Y/N: I got it.

You grab it and pitch it like a baseball. It explodes in the distance.

Cherri Bomb: What up, ya cute dork? 

She flirtatiously presses her breasts against you.

Cherri Bomb: Been a while since we've seen each other.

She dips you and initiates an aggressive make-out session.

Vaggie rolls her eye at the PDA. Charlie has a strained smile while clenching her fist, digging her nails into her palm. 

When she pulls away you have a goofy, dazed expression.

Angel Dust: I love seeing' ya, Cherri. But I'm too tired, I need to pass out.

Cherri Bomb: You can sleep when you're double dead, fuckhead! Come on, what you really need is a recharge! A reinvigoration, a re—

Charlie: Responsible night on the town! That is a great idea! (shakes her hand) Hi! Charlie! That's my wall that you just blew up. It's no nice to meet one of Angel's friends! Agh! He never brings anyone around.

Cherri Bomb: (sarcastic) Wonder why?

Charlie: (oblivious) Yeah, me too. Anyway, Angel and everyone else have been working so hard, I think they deserve to have a little fun.

Cherri Bomb: W-w-wait, they?

Charlie: Yeah! (waves at Husk and Niffty) Hi, everyone! Angel and his friend are taking you all out for a night of fun and relaxation!

Cherri Bomb: Wait, I am only here for Ange—

Charlie hands Cherri a stack of money.

Cherri: Oh! Never mind, let's go!

Charlie: Make sure they have the best time tonight! Anyway, the portal to heaven should be opening right about...

Portal to Heaven opens.

Charlie: (Screams with delight) Now! Bye!!

She throws you and Vaggie through the portal, with you sporting several lipsticks marks. As she steps a foot inside, she turns back to the guests and workers with Cherri Bomb, waving them goodbye for the day.

Charlie: Bye!

Charlie enters the portal and vanishes on the spot just before Sir Pentious walks by with a drink in his mouth. He notices Cherri Bomb and spits out his drink in shock

Sir Pentious: Well! If it isn't my arch-nemesis! Have you come to meet your fate in battle, Cherri Bomb?

Sir Pentious doesn't notice one of Charlie's discarded luggage in his way and ends up tripping over while Cherri Bomb doesn't seem to mind about him.

Cherri Bomb: Apparently, I'm going out with Angel and I gotta drag your sorry asses along.

Cherri Bomb takes out a piece of gum and starts chewing. Sir Pentious hears her well, and is flustered by Cherri's suggestion. He immediately goes over to her and seemed nervous while Cherri faces him and blows a bubble.

Sir Pentious: Oh, oh, you and me are going out like for fun? I... I didn't think this would ever happen. (panicked) What-What do I do? What-What do I wear?

Sir Pentious grabs Cherri's shoulder for suggestion, but she doesn't like Sir Pentious touching her and grabs his claw to the point it seemed like she's crushing it.

Cherri Bomb: Don't fuckin' touch me, ya munted dickhead.

And with that, Cherri leaves behind the flustering Sir Pentious who is blushing red after Cherri touched his hand.

Cut to you, Charlie, and Vaggie standing outside the golden gates of Heaven as the portal closes behind you.

Charlie: Vaggie, look at this place! It's so clean! Isn't that amazing?

Vaggie: (sarcastically) Yup, super cool. Heaven. Wow.

Y/N: Looks just as stereotypical as every form of media portrays it as.

Charlie: Y/N, come on! Think of this as a sneak peek of everything you'll get to have once you get into Heaven!

Y/N: (a little uncomfortable) Greaaattt.

The three of you approach the front desk, where St. Peter pops up.

St. Peter: Hiya! Welcome to Heaven! Can I get your name, please?

Charlie: Oh! Uhhh, uh, uh, Charlie Morningstar!

Peter opens the book of reservations that are supposed to be a list of names they've cataloging for those who are to enter heaven.

St. Peter: Charlie Morningstar, hmm, (mumbling names from list) I'm not seeing you on my list here, that's so odd.

Charlie: Uh, um, my dad got me this meeting, so maybe...

St. Peter: [in background] Oh, Dad! Okay!

Charlie: Try Lucifer... Morning... star?

St. Peter: Oh, fuck! *nervously* Yeah, hoooo, hehehe. Yikes, am I right? Are you sure you're in the right place? Because I think you might be a little lost.

Peter nervously flies down from the desk to Charlie and Vaggie. Vaggie is unamused of St. Peter, crossing her arms in disappointment.

Vaggie: Oh, here we go.

Charlie: No, uh... we're, we're here for a meeting.

St. Peter: Oh, uh-

Y/N: Look, dude. We scheduled this appointment a couple weeks ago. Don't you have an iPad or something to keep track of this stuff?

???: St. Peter.

You look up as two Seraphim, Sera and Emily, float down.

Sera: We can take it from here. Greetings, daughter of the Morningstar. I am Sera, the high seraphim of heaven. (Emily squeals and laughs in excitement) You are gifted to be here.

Emily comes forward to greet you.

Emily: Hi! I'm Emily, the other seraphim, though you can call me Em! Emmy, E, whatever you want, I go by whatever. (giggles) Welcome to Heaven! O.M.G., I can't believe I'm meeting three demons for the first time!

Y/N: Technically, two demons. (a little awkward) Hi. Y/N. I haven't died yet.

Emily: Wait, there's a human in heaven for the first time ever?!

She can't contain her excitement and hugs you tightly.

Y/N: (slight blush) Ok...there's *one* good thing about Heaven.

Unknown to the rest of you, Sera is making this expression.

Sera: There's a human in heaven?! He could ruin everything if he finds out the truth!

https://youtu.be/a9s6FRLNJAo

Emily leads you, Charlie, and Vaggie off. Unknowingly, the three of you pass by Adam slurping a drink and Lute without her helmet.

Adam: Holy fucking shit balls, am I seeing who I think I'm seeing?

Lute: What is she doing here? How did she even get up here? And why did she bring the human with her?!

Adam: Who cares? I'm handling this shit right now.

Adam goes to challenge the three of you, but Lute stops him.

Lute: Wait! You want to start a fight on the promenade in front of everyone?

Adam: Better than waiting for the fucking extermination!

Lute immediately grabs Adam by his collar and pulls him to shush him harshly.

Lute: SHHH. Sir, what was the Seraphim's one rule?

Adam: Uuughhh, "No one but the exorcists can know about the exterminations". I know, fine. (slurps drink) Don't fucking shush me, bitch.

Just before they can settle this, Sera suddenly appears behind them both, teleporting them to an office-like building with just one sway of her wings. The light goes white on the screen before reappearing to show Adam and Lute being confronted by a stern Sera.

Sera: You should listen to your lieutenant, Adam.

Adam and Lute yelp in shock.

Adam: Fuck! Sera! You can't sneak up on a guy like that, jeez.

Lute: Your highness, forgive me, but what are the hell-spawn and human doing here?

Sera: Well, you failed to control the demons' unrest, and now Lucifer is involved, setting up an audience for his misguided daughter. I never would have agreed to your...(Adam slurps his soda drink) 'yearly activities' if I thought it would bring trouble to our doorstep. Keeping Heaven safe was my only reason for allowing it.

Adam: What do you want from me? I'm just one guy.

Sera: I want you to do whatever you need to do to keep this problem from getting any worse. Are we clear?

Adam: (sighs) Yeah. Got it.

Sera: Good. Now, tell me about this "Y/N L/N".

Lute pulls up a file on the computer. 

Lute: He was a human had an abusive mother and sister and was unknowing dating a vile Hellhound for sometime, before some lowly Imp named "Blitz-O" messed with Goetian magic he didn't understand, opened a portal, and Y/N fell into Hell and found out the truth. Now he works for an organization called "Immediate Murder Professionals". 

He still dates that same hellhound, a couple more, that succubus harlot Verosika Mayday and her gang of worthless whores, a few Sinners, and maybe even a couple sins like Asmodeous and Beelzebub.

Adam: Respect.

Lute gives him a "seriously?" look.

Adam: What? He may be a lost cause fucking demons, but dick respects dick.

Lute slugs him in the arm.

Adam: OW! I'm just saying! Don't fucking (slugs Lute in the arm) punch me!

Lute: OW!

The two of them start sissy-fighting while Sera has a deadpan expression and drags her hand down her face.

Sera: Enough! It's possible Y/N already knows about the exterminations and could tell anyone back on earth! 

Adam: Would you relax? If he does tell, who's gonna belief a dork like him other than conspiracy theorists and content creators who make politics their whole personality? Worst case scenario, we could just discreetly kill him with an angelic weapon. He's still human, so that would mean no afterlife.

Lute looks at the file of you again.

Lute: He's kinda cute...in an adorkable way. Hey, if we don't kill him, can I keep him as a pet?

Sera and Adam: O_o.

Lute: What? I wouldn't go overboard, and I'd take his collar off when we're in public. But he's keeping it on when I'm riding him senseless.

Sera looks mortified and makes the sign of the cross on herself.

Adam: Would you just- ju- CHILL, Lute. Fuck.

Cut to You, Vaggie and Charlie are shown in their hotel room, Vaggie putting their big tons of luggage down as Charlie sits on the bed excitedly.

Charlie: Okay, I love Heaven! Guys, did you see the ice cream shop? They had sprinkles made of rainbows!

Vaggie: Those are just rainbow sprinkles.

Charlie: *stands up excitedly* Emily's going to take me to a zoo where all the animals are actually soft! You coming?

Y/N: Sure, why not?

Vaggie: Uh, I need a break. But hug a koala for me.

Charlie: O.M.G! Can you imagine an actual koala? (squeals happily*)See you later!

Charlie zips right out of the door. You linger behind.

Y/N: Hey, are you feeling ok? You've been kinda distant ever since we got up here.

Vaggie: It's nothing. It's just, I don't see what's so great about this place, you know?

Y/N: I get it. Apart from Emily, it seems like everyone else is a hypocrite defending bad people like those Cherubs or psychopaths like Adam. 

Charlie: (off-screen) Y/N, you coming or what?

Y/N: I'll be right there.

You give Vaggie a sympathetic look before walking out and closing the door leaving Vaggie alone for herself. She lays on the bed and sighs, but there is a knock on the door a second later. She answers it, revealing Adam, barging right in to greet her.

Adam: Hey there, Vag-asaurus!

Vaggie: Charlie and Y/N will be back soon, you need to get out, now.

Adam enters the room, Lute behind him

Adam: I'm not looking for the blonde babe or human. I'm looking for you.

Vaggie: Why?

Adam: Maybe 'cuz you left the band. You tried for a solo career, or I guess it's more of a... duet.

Vaggie: I don't know what you're talking about.

Adam: Do you really think I wouldn't recognize one of my top girls just cuz you're out of uniform?

Vaggie immediately grows pale when she realizes how Adam has never forgotten her. A flashback cuts to show a past extermination. Exorcists come flying down with swords and spears as they hunt and kill every Sinner they find. Screams can be heard as many demons are being massacred by the Angels. An Exorcist flies down and kills a demon, before taking her helmet off, revealing it to be Vaggie with a shorter hair.

Adam: (voiceover) You were on the front lines, I wouldn't forget a bad bitch like you. It's why I named you after the best thing ever. Vaj-ee

Cuts back to the present with the annoyed Vaggie.

Vaggie: Actually, it's pronounced Vaggie.

Adam: Hmmmmm- no. Anyway, you sure fucked up, didn't you?

Cuts to a flashback of the Extermination. As Exorcists kills a demon, a sinner child is running away while being chased by a vicious Vaggie as an Exorcist. The child runs into an alleyway where he reaches a dead end. He turns, and starts crying where he is prepared to meet his demise. However, Vaggie hesitates, seeing the innocent child right before her eyes crying in fear. She reconsiders her decision.

Vaggie: (whispering) Go, run. Now!

The sinner child flees from Vaggie right before Lute's shadow appears behind her. Vaggie realizes she has been spotted, dropping her spear before Lute stabs her eye out. Vaggie screams in pain. Her eye falls before Lute steps on it. She steps on Vaggie.

Lute: Sinful filth like you has NO place in heaven.

Lute brings up Vaggie's head and rips her wings off. Vaggie pants as she watched Adam appear before her in a shadow silhouette before Lute throws her discarded wings and sword before she and Adam leave, Adam carrying her Halo. The scene then changes to Vaggie stumbling down an alleyway, now with only one eye. She collapses against a dumpster, before Charlie, in the past, spots her. She puts a bandage over her missing eye, and Vaggie smiles. In return, Charlie smiles back.

Adam: To think someone as worthless as you landed Lilith's little hottie. 'Grats on that I guess.

The scene cuts back to the present where Lute is disgusted of their relationship.

Lute: Their love is vile and blasphemous.

Adam: Hot as fuck though. But I wonder what your bitch would think if she found out you are actually one of us, hmmm?

Vaggie: What do you want?

Adam: Simple, you work for me again and at the hearing, you're gonna help me shut this kindergarten snowflake bullshit down for good.

Vaggie: Never!

Adam: Oh yeah, you know, that's totally cool. I guess I'll just tell little miss butterflies and rainbows that she's been fucking someone who's killed-- thousands of her people. I'm sure your relationship will be fine. And we could always just kill the human. Being stabbed by an angelic weapon would just mean-

Vaggie grabs Adam by the collar.

Vaggie: Leave Y/N alone! He hasn't done anything to you!

Adam: He decided to throw in with demons. (menacingly) As far as I'm concerned, he's getting exactly what he deserves. (Cheerfully) See you in court!

Adam and Lute leave the room, leaving Vaggie reeling with fear.

Cut to You, Charlie, and Emily at a petting zoo.

Charlie: Y/N, come pet this one! It's so soft and cuddly!

You walk over and pet said animal.

Y/N: Eh. Not as soft and cuddly as Hellhound fur.

Emily walks and stands next to Charlie, the two of them talking in lowered voices.

Emily: Is he okay?

Charlie: Sort of. Some of his girlfriends are Hellhounds, and he's scared of getting into Heaven because if he thinks if he does, he'll never see them again.

Emily: (disappointed) Oh. So, he already has a lot of women in his life.

Y/N: (oblivious) One of the perks of having an open relationship.

Emily blushes and twirls her hair.

Emily: O-Oh! That sounds...(blushing profusely) interesting...

The scene transitions to an angelic courtroom, where you, Charlie and Vaggie are sat down. Adam walks by on his way to his seat with Lute.

Charlie: Oh no, not him again!

Adam flies up and sits down beside Lute.

Adam: What up, baby? Saw that you went to my manager. Low blow, Karen.

Sera: We are gathered here today to determine whether or not a soul in Hell can be redeemed into the heavenly realm via means of this "Hazbin Hotel". Princess Morningstar?

Charlie: *sigh* Thank you, Seraphim. *clears throat* Webster's dictionary defines redemption as-

Adam: Objection, lame and unoriginal.

Sera: Sustained. No further dictionary references please.

A/N: I like how Sera sustaining that hints that even she has her steaks of immaturity.

Charlie: Right, ok, uh, uh... uhhmmmm...

Charlie shuffles through multiple cards, all which have various dictionary references on.

Adam: If you have actual evidence, then show it already.

Charlie: We have two patrons right now who is making incredible progress!

Adam: Who?

Charlie: Angel Dust and Y/N L/N. 

She gestures at you and you wave awkwardly.

Adam: (sarcastic) Oh yeah, the porn demon, and the guy who kills people for a living. They're totally worth being redeemed. 

You exhale in frustration.

Y/N: Can't believe I'm technically related to this guy. Also, how do you know Angel's a porn demon?

Adam: Uh, -

Y/N: You know what kind of porn he makes, right?

Adam: I-I-I mean, when you put it like *that*, um-

Y/N: (smug) You totally have a stash of gay porn, don't you?

Adam: (flustered) Uh-uh-uh-, you, um, - SHUT UP! NO ONE WAS EVEN TALKING TO YOU!

Y/N: Well, if you know so much, what do you think it takes to get into Heaven?

Adam: Uhmm... w-w-well... Uhh...

Sera: Is everything ok, Adam?

Adam: Give me a fucking minute, ok? 

Adam scrawls something down on a golden piece of paper, before teleporting it over to Vaggie.

Vaggie: *reading list* "Act selfless, don't steal, stick it to the man". Are you fucking serious?

Adam: Uh, yeah. Sure got me here, didn't it? (laughs nervously) Right, Sera?

Y/N: Oh, come on! He stole that last one from School of Rock!

Sera: He was the first human soul in Heaven...

Y/N: Ok, but does that even prove anything? Practically no other humans were around, and this was long before societal norms or laws were established. Did you really let him up here because he was a good person, or you had no other choice because Lilith was condemned to Hell and who knows what even happened to Eve?

Sera looks taken aback as the court mutters. Adam looks pissed. Vaggie gives Adam and Lute a smug look. Charlie and Emily are looking at you dreamily with hearts in their eyes.

Sera notices Emily's expression and looks concerned and somewhat disgusted.

Charlie: Well, I bet Angel is doing all of those things right now!

Adam: Then let's fucking see it bruh! (snaps fingers)

A spying orb appears in the middle of the courtroom.

Charlie: Your honor, may I present: exhibit A.

Scene transitions to the nightclub Angel Dust and co. are at

Cherri Bomb: Woo! Isn't this place the fucking best?

Husk: I'll admit, "Consent" is a good name for a sex club.

Sir Pentious: Niffty, dear, what are you doing?

Niffty: I'm sweeping! Urgh, look how icky it is in here!

Sir Pentious: That's because we're at a club, dear.

Niffty: Oh! I thought the hotel looked different! *giggles*

A/N: -_-

Sir Pentious leans over to Cherri Bomb.

Sir Pentious: Ms. Bomb, I-I-I'd like to buy you a drink.

Cherri Bomb: (smugly) Why? Didn't you say we're arch-rivals? Also, I have a boyfriend.

Sir Pentious: Um... uhh... because I'm buying EVERYONE a drink!

Crowd: Free drinks! I love alcohol!

Angel Dust: Good, I need a drink after today. You know, Val, he's into this waterboarding shit now, I don't know, it's a kink.

Cherri Bomb: Angel, enough with the Val talk. He already ruined your whole day, don't let him ruin your night too. (holds out three pills) Here, take one of these and you won't be worrying about nothing.

Husk: Here we go.

Cherri Bomb: Oh look! The drunk sobered up long enough to judge us.

Husk: For starters, I've stopped drinking as much since Y/N and I started dating, and I ain't the one trying to get into Heaven. Look, you want to fuck up all your progress? Be my guest. I just... (sighs) I just thought you were better than that.

Cherri Bomb: Thanks, Ms. Buzzkill. Come on, Angie, let's get fucked up! It's been too long.

Angel Dust: I uhh... I don't know, it's been a long night and I don't need to go too wild.

Husk: (approvingly) Hmm.

Cherri Bomb: Come on, bitch. If you've really been working that hard, you deserve a little R and R, some THC, or maybe PCP with DMT. Aw, fuck it, let's see where the night takes us, huh?

Sir Pentious slithers back into frame holding shots.

Angel Dust: I.. I guess?

Sir Pentious: Cherri, I bought you a shot. B-because I bought everyone another shot! Hooray! (chuckles)

Crowd: Yeah! Another drink! I love alcohol!

Angel Dust: (drinks shot) ah... Fuck it, let's do it.

Husk: (sighs)

Transitions back to the courtroom.

Adam: Heavenly people, what more do you need to see? The porn star chose a night of debauchery. That's not a soul worthy of being in Heaven!

Y/N: Uhm, objection! Are you really telling me you've never had a drink with friends at the end of a hard day?

Adam: Uh, we don't have hard days? It's fucking Heaven, bitch. (to Charlie) You seriously gonna sit there and pretend like this behavior is ok?

Charlie: *growls*

Adam: (To Vaggie, with malicious intent) What do you think?

Vaggie: I-I- I have to go the bathroom!

Vaggie rushes out of the courtroom.

Charlie: What? Vaggie, can you hold it?! *frustrated groan* Angel will make good decisions, come on! 

Adam: If you say so. But don't think that Y/N here is getting off scot-free. We still need to see if he can pass!

Y/N: (determined) Bring it on, scumbag.

Sera:  (to Emily) Yeah, I don't know.

Emily: Come on, let's give him a chance.

Sera: Very well, the court will allow it.

Charlie: Fuck yes!

Sera gives her a dirty look.

Charlie: I mean... heh... thank you.

Adam: (laughs) Ok, then. Mr. L/N, give one instance in which you believe you were selfless.

Y/N: There was the time I tried to kill Valentino because-

Adam: AHA! You admit to trying to kill someone!

Y/N: - To help my friend Angel Dust because Valentino is a psychotic asshole who abuses him in every way possible. 

Charlie looks proud and Emily looks sympathetic.

Adam: (begrudgingly) Fine. How about "don't steal?"

Y/N: I've never stolen anything. And what I am even supposed to do with a bunch of witnesses? It's not like I could even get away with stealing anything even if I felt like it.

Adam: (sweating a little) Ok, how about-

Y/N: You want me to stick it to the man? Ok, you asked for it. (inhales deeply) I find it deeply disturbing that we're technically related. You lost the first woman because you were a controlling asshole, got cucked by a Lucifer, and from what I've seen and heard of you, you're just a manchild clinging onto the delusion that you're somehow a good person when you belong in Hell more than most demons I've met.

Adam looks completely furious, going red in the face and having steam come out of his ears.

Charlie squeals in excitement and hugs you tightly while jumping up and down.

Charlie: Y/N! That was amazing!

She hugs your face to her chest while you blush profusely. 

The scene transitions back to the club, where the gang have had multiple drinks. Cherri Bomb walks into frame with 5 shots

Cherri Bomb: Round 12, motherfuckers! Heels are coming off!

Cherri Bomb sets the shots down on the table and hands them out to Husk, Angel and Sir Pentious

Angel Dust: Ho ho yeah! Keep 'em comin'! Come on, right here! Come right here to daddy.

Sir Pentious: Oh, it's wonderful to have friends! *chuckles*

Niffty reaches across the table trying to reach her shot glass.

Niffty: Everything's spinny! *giggles*

Angel Dust: Ha, I think you're done, tiny. (takes glass)

Niffty: No! Gimme gimme gimme!

Cherri Bomb: Oh come on, bitch! She can handle a little more!

Angel Dust: She's like 10 pounds soaking wet and— oh shit, where'd she go?

Niffty is shoving other patrons' drinks into a sack.

Guys at a table: Hey! Fuck!

Niffty: Dirty, dirty! Make it CLEAN!

Angel Dust: Damn it, Niffty. Sorry fellas, here, next one's on me. Niffty? Shit!

Niffty's digging through a supply closet.

Niffty: Chlorine...! Bleach...!

Cherri Bomb: Angie, the fuck you doin'? You're supposed to be relaxin', not playin' nanny!

Angel Dust: Look, she ain't used to this scene, I-I just don't want her to end up in the gutter like I used to.

Cherri Bomb: Pfft, whatever, nerd, just catch up when you're done.

Niffty: *laughing*

Angel picks Niffty up.

Angel Dust: STOP!! You can't take tha- GOD, Niff, why you bein' such a mess?!

Niffty: I'm... the mess? (starts crying)

Angel Dust: Oh, oh shit! Hey hey, Hey calm down. (Take deep breaths) You ain't a mess, it's fine..! Shh.. Hey, you wanna play with the kitty?

Niffty: (stops crying) yeah...

Angel puts Niffty on Husk's head while she giggles about it.

Husk: The fuck is this?

Angel Dust: She's wasted, just go with it.

Husk: Re-Really? (Sees Niffty playing with her ears and wings) Ugh...

Scene changes to Sir Pentious falling off his seat and slithering over to Cherri Bomb at another table.

Sir Pentious: Ahh... HEY, wow!!!! Hey, so... I see the club has a sex room, so I was thinking, maybe you'd want to, uhm... do a... sssSEX with me?

A/N: Rizz.

Cherri: (snort)  I'm sorry, why would we have sex? I doubt you can even measure up to my boyfriend's massive knot.

Sir Pentious: Uh... Uh...uhm... because I'm having sex with everyone here! (laughs briefly before being grabbed)

Crowd cheers, before dragging Sir Pentious towards the 'sex room'. Many sets of eyes are visible inside

Sir Pentious: Wait! (screams)

Cherri: You know, we can do this fucking shit every fuckin' night! You don't have to spend all your off hours "working on yourself", you little bitch.

Husk: The hotel isn't a problem in his life, it's—

Angel Dust: Valentino.

Husk: Exactly. So why don't you-

Angel Dust: No, Valentino.

Camera pans to Valentino at a large sofa-bench talking with some female demons.

Valentino: Yeah, I'm here all the time, they know me. You're gorgeous, do you need a job? How many dicks can you suck? Ooh, I could make you a star.

Angel Dust: Let's get the fuck outta here, okay? Come on.

Valentino: [in the background] Yeah, a star.

Angel Dust: Where's Niffty?

Valentino: Porn star. OK, yup, bring me another drink or I'll fucking kill you.

Niffty is seen running towards Valentino

Niffty: Bad boy! *giggles*

Valentino: I said I'll fucking kill you, and I will.

Angel Dust: Excuse me. Pardon me. Get out of my way.

Angel tumbles onto the platform and grabs Niffty, who is still running in midair as Angel holds her.

Valentino: Holy shit, Angel Dust? What are you doing here, baby? You didn't get enough dick today?

Angel Dust: Funny.

Valentino: Who's this chiquita? You bringing me fresh meat?

Niffty attempts to bite Valentino's finger and he yelps.

Valentino: Oi!

Niffty: I just want a taste.

Valentino: Ehh, weird, but there's a kink for that, I'm sure!

Angel stands up, still holding Niffty.

Angel Dust: Fuck off, Val.

Valentino: Excuse me?

Angel Dust: I said fuck off! I may have to put up with your bullshit, but you ain't fuckin' with any of my friends!

Valentino summons his red smoke chain and grabs Angel with it, pulling him close.

Valentino: You forget who you're talking to? I own you, bitch.

Angel Dust: Yeah, you do, in the studio. And you can do anything you want to me there, just like our deal says. But out here, I get to do what I want. So once again, FUCK. OFF.

Valentino smacks Angel, sending him tumbling to the side onto the ground. As Angel coughs and splutters blood from his mouth, Valentino walks over.

Valentino: Enjoy the rest of your night, bitch, because I'm going to enjoy making you pay for it tomorrow.

Cherri: Fuckin' dickhead...

Angel stands up and walks back to his friends while wiping blood from his mouth.

Angel Dust: Fuck it. It was worth it.

Husk smiles and puts a hand on Angel's back as they walk off.

Husk: Way to go, kid.

Niffty appears tearing off a part of Valentino's fur.

Valentino: OW! 

Valentino: What the fuck?!?

Niffty: *chuckles* For my collection! *further chuckling* Wait up, guys!

Cherri: Did you just call these cunts your friends? Thought that was my job.

Angel Dust: There's room for everyone, and ya know... you could come crash with us too.

Cherri: Okay, look, Angie, I'm glad this hotel shit is workin' for you, but you know me, bitch, I'm doin' just fine! In fact, I'm gonna fuck the next guy I see, okay? But if you need me, you know where to find me, yeah?

She walks off.

Sir Pentious: Is Cherri still here?

Angel and Husk point to her by the exit, showing the girls that were with Valentino a picture of you and giving them your number.

Sir Pentious: Damn it!

Scene transitions back to the angelic courtroom.

Charlie: See! He did everything on your checklist! He was selfless, he stopped Niffty from stealing and he stuck it to that moth man!

Y/N: YES!

Y/N: (flips off Valentino) FUCK YOU, you rapist piece of shit! AHHAHAHAHA!

Charlie and Vaggie:

Sera glares at you.

Y/N: Oh, kiss my ass, prude. (flips her the double bird)

Adam: Uhhh... well, uh... Then, then why isn't he here then? Hm?

Emily: Yeah, why isn't he here?

[The angels observing the court all murmur together.]

Charlie: Wait... (pissed) none of you know what gets someone into Heaven?

Y/N: Are you. Fucking. KIDDING ME?! If you don't even know, what gives any of you the right to judge another people-

Sera: (abruptly) This questioning stops now. We know when a soul arrives, we know when they pass divine judgment, it is our job to ensure these souls are safe.

https://youtu.be/TXcb49xSYuo

Emily: ♫ But she was right, Sera ♫

♫ She showed us a soul can improve ♫

Emily flies up and shows the orb with the scene of Angel defying Valentino.

♫ He saw the light, Sera ♫

♫Checked all the boxes that you said would ♫

Emily flies with the orb and asks the other angels observing the court.

♫ Prove a person deserves a second chance ♫

♫Now we turn our backs, no second glance?♫

Sera: ♫ It's not as simple as you think ♫

Emily flies back up to Sera, who takes her hands.

♫ Not everything is spelled in ink ♫

The camera turns back down to Charlie staring defiantly with you and Vaggie in the background.

Charlie: ♫ It's not fair, Sera ♫

Vaggie steps forward and puts a hand on Charlie's shoulder.

Vaggie: ♫ Careful, Charlie, keep a cool head... ♫

Charlie pulls away and looks at Sera.

Charlie: ♫ No! Don't you care, Sera?♫

♫ That just because someone is or isn't dead♫

♫ It doesn't mean they can't resolve to change their ways ♫

[The orb shows multiple images of you and Angel]

♫ Turn the page ♫

♫ Escape infernal blaze ♫

Sera: ♫ I 'm sure you wish it could be so ♫

♫ But there's a lot that you don't know ♫

Camera turns to Lute and Adam's seat abruptly.

Lute: ♫ What are we even talkin' about? ♫

♫ Some loser who's fucked up already? ♫

♫ He blew his shot, now he'll burn in a pot ♫

Lute stands up and puts her Exorcist mask on.

♫This discussion is senseless and petty♫

Adam and Lute fly in front of you.

Lute and Adam: ♫There's no question to be posed♫

♫You're unholy, case closed♫

♫ Did you think that you had a chance? ♫

Adam: ♫ A man only lives once ♫

♫ We'll see you in one month♫

Adam grabs you by the collar and you glare at him.

♫ Gotta say, I can't wait to ♫

Sera: Adam...

Adam: ♫ Come down and exterminate you! ♫

Emily: Wait!

Adam: Shit!

Emily: ♫ What are you saying? ♫

♫ Let me get this straight ♫

Emily flies down and lands in front of the orb, which now displays an silhouette of an exorcist standing among frames, staring sadly.

♫ You go down there and kill those poor souls? ♫

Y/N and Charlie: ♫ You didn't know? ♫

Adam: Whoops!

Lute: ♫ Guess the cat's out of the bag... ♫

Adam: ♫ What's the big deal?♫

Emily looks up at Sera.

Emily: ♫ Sera, tell me that you didn't know ♫

Sera: ♫ I thought, since I'm older ♫

♫ It's my load to shoulder ♫

Emily: No!

Sera flies down to Emily and takes her hands.

Sera: ♫ You have to listen ♫

♫ It was such a hard decision ♫

♫ I wanted to save you, the anguish it takes to ♫

Sera takes Emily's hand and forces a smile, the fire from the orb reflecting in her eyes.

♫ Do what was required ♫

Emily: ♫ To think that I admired you ♫

Emily tugs out of Sera's grip and flies upwards.

♫ Well, I don't need your condescension ♫

♫ I'm not a child to protect ♫

Emily turns in the air and questions Sera directly, before she lands in front of the orb next to you and Charlie.

♫ Was talk of virtue just pretension? ♫

♫ Was I too naïve to expect you ♫

♫ To heed the morals you're purveying? ♫

Charlie: ♫ That's what the fuck I've been saying! ♫

Y/N, Charlie and Emily: ♫ If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie! ♫

Sera: Emily!

Y/N, Charlie and Emily: ♫ If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky ♫

♫ The rules are shades of gray when you don't do as you say ♫

♫ When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again ♫

The members of the court are shown to be horrified.

Charlie: ♫ I was told not to trust in angels ♫

Adam walks nearer to Vaggie.

Adam: ♫ By her? ♫

Lute leans on Vaggie's shoulder.

Lute: ♫ Ha! She should know ♫

Vaggie walks over to Charlie, who takes her hands.

Vaggie: ♫ We should go ♫

Charlie: ♫ No! Don't you see? ♫

♫ We've come so close ♫

The camera cuts to an above view, showing the angels all talking together and Emily refusing to listen to Sera.

♫ Look at them fighting; they're at each other's throats ♫

Adam: ♫ Don't you act all high and mighty ♫

♫ Did you ever think your little girlfriend might be a liar? ♫

Adam walks through the gap between you, Charlie and Vaggie and approaches the orb.

Vaggie: ♫ Don't, Adam, please! ♫

Adam: ♫ What's the fuss? ♫

♫ Why hide the fact that you're an angel ♫

Adam sinisterly turns while Lute grabs Vaggie and pulls her over to them.

♫ Just like us?♫

The orb shows Vaggie in the past as an Exorcist, a shadow falling over the darkened courtroom as she spreads her wings.

Song ends on you and Charlie's horrified faces.

Charlie pulls you close and cries into your chest while you hold her protectively as Vaggie runs to her and Emily settles back by Sera.

Sera: *Inhales to keep composure* I'm sorry... but this court finds that there is no evidence souls in Hell can be redeemed.

Adam: Oh, FUCK, YES!! I WIN!!! SUCK IT BITCHES. You better save the date cunts, 'cause we're coming to your hotel FIRST. And the human is first on my list. Guess no one ever told you what happens if an angelic weapon kills a still-living mortal, Y/N. No afterlife. You're just dead. And I'll enjoy this.

Adam snaps his fingers, reopening the portal to Hell.

Charlie: What... NO!! NO!! You can't-

Vaggie: You... Motherfu-

Y/N: Pathetic...CUCKHOLD MANCHILD!

The three of you scream as you're transported back to Hell through the portal.

Emily: Charlie!! Don't give up on this! I'll figure something out, I promise!

Sera: That was uncalled for, Adam. 

Adam: Yeah, But did you see the looks on their fucking faces, it was.... d-d- *stammers* Sorry....

The court, Adam, and Lute fly away.

Emily: Extermination...of human souls!? Demon or not there is NO reason to be doing this! Y/N is still alive! He deserves the chance to *live*!

Sera: They were uprising, Emily, and a human is siding with them! It is my position as the head Seraphim to protect our people at all costs. And it's your position to keep them happy and joyful.

Sera leans forward, putting her hands on Emily's shoulders.

Emily: How can I bring joy when I now know we are bringing misery to thousands of innocent people?

Sera: Heaven needs us, Emily. Everyone looks to us... and we can't doubt ourselves or worry about the fates of demons when we have our own souls to protect. Please.... if you start to question... you could end up like Lucifer: Fallen. I couldn't bear to see you suffer that fate, so please, let me worry about this, ok?

Sera kisses Emily's forehead

Sera: I'm sorry.

Emily puts a hand on Adam's list gently, as the episode ends.