Samantha is half angry half destroyed, she doesn't have the strength to yell so she just breaks down in tears instead. Half of the story is still blurry and confusing to her, she doesn't understand how the hell her mother and Cassidy have shared a love affair when they were young? She knew the past of her mom, she used to work as a journalist at Bazaar for around like a decade and then she quit when she married her father to work in town.
As she's standing in front of the two speechless women, she understands nothing will ever be the same.
« Did you hear... ? » Cassidy stutters.
Samantha inhales deeply.
« Yes. I heard almost everything. Now who the hell is going to tell me what's going on? » She asks again, almost screaming at the two women.
Her dad is probably awake with all the noise now but it doesn't matter to her, she just wants to know the truth.
« We can discuss it later at home Samantha. » The editor tries to argue. The last thing she wants is tell her everything next to Sierra.
« No. I wanna know. Did you have an affair with my mom? » She repeats, each time she raises her voice more.
Cassidy looks down, Sierra sees she isn't answering so she does it instead.
« It was supposed to be an affair, but nothing happened. She didn't let it. » Sierra explains.
Cassidy looks up at Samantha, in hope Sierra's answer will be enough to calm her down. It won't.
« Samantha... » She mumbles again.
Samantha hides a sob in a chuckle.
« You want me to congratulate you because you didn't let it happen? » She bites. « Are you in love with my mom? » She sobs again, the answer is what she fears most in that moment.
« Not anymore Samantha. Everything changed since I met you. » The editor tries to defend herself.
« How am I supposed to stay with you knowing you've been in love with my mom all your life? » She asks.
It isn't an hopeless question, she is really asking what she has been wondering out loud for the past minutes. Samantha has never been that vulnerable. Tears are making her vision blurry, she can't see anything properly but she is sure she sees Cassidy tearing up.
« It wasn't love, not the same love she feels for you. » Sierra says.
Cassidy gives her a grateful gaze, she does not know why she has suddenly decided to defend her but still. Though Cassidy starts getting afraid, the conversation is too much for her. She doesn't want to talk about her feelings now, and not in front of Sierra.
« I think it's better if we finish discussing it in New York. I can get a taxi right now to bring me back and I'll send someone to drive you home with the car. » She snaps going into the ice queen mode for a few seconds, her feelings too exposed earlier.
Samantha winces, confused.
« What? No you can't leave me here, we can sit down and talk about it. » Samantha states, almost begging.
« And we will. We will talk about it in New York. » She repeats as she goes upstairs as quickly as possible, followed by Samantha.
She grabs her suitcase already packed and is stopped by Samantha who is standing in front of her.
« I know you've been hurt for many years, I know that now but please Cassidy don't run away. Please. I need an explanation now. » She begs in a whisper now, her tears won't let her yell.
Cassidy gets near the young woman, trying to tuck her long lock behind her ear.
Samantha flinches without wanting to, Cassidy retracts her hand and skips Samantha to walk downstairs. Sierra watches them in silence.
« I thought you loved me. » Samantha cries at the woman who is grabbing her coat over the sofa.
« And I do. That's why we have to talk about it in New York. » She says softly.
« Then I am coming back with you. »
« No. You stay here and enjoy your weekend with your parents, I'll be waiting for you. »

Cassidy walks briskly to the door and walks out, the door locks quietly. The large house is eerily quiet for what seems like an eternity. Samantha stares at the door, speechless.
« Seems like she hasn't changed a bit. » Sierra speaks on the sofa.
Samantha turns around to her mother briskly.
« Don't you fucking dare talk to me! How dare you?! » Samantha screams at her mother, burning of anger.

Somewhere between Illinois and New York, Cassidy decided not to fight for Samantha that night. She loved her, oh yes, she will always, but she feels like something has changed since that night. God knows how, Cassidy managed to date the only person she could not, the daughter's of the woman who broke her heart. Some people would say it was meant to be, it was a sign that Cassidy and Sierra's path was bound to meet again in the future. But it isn't that. If one positive thing happened that night, it was the fact that Cassidy realized Sierra was just an illusion, the Sierra she has always loved doesn't exist. The real Sierra is a snake, she bites whenever she can, always a glass of wine in her hand to support her. Cassidy knows that now. What she knows too is that she is in love with Samantha, with all her own being and more. But now, the conversation of the other night with her has left doubt about their relationship. Cassidy wonders if she should be selfish and call Samantha, tell her to come over and just forget about it all. It would be selfish, Samantha doesn't deserve it. Dating Sierra's daughter seems impossible to Cassidy, but she would be willing to, if that means staying with Samantha forever. In that case now it is more impossible to Samantha than to Cassidy to do so, because Samantha would be the victim of the old affair between the two older women.
She knows what she is about to do is hard, Samantha would need time to process, that's why she ran away. She wants to have a proper conversation with Samantha, but only the two of them, with privacy.
There is two main reasons for her change of heart, reasons that came as she sat sipping cognac in the few hours between the red painted barns of Columbus and the lights of the big apple. She doesn't want Samantha to decide between her mother or her lover, and how would Samantha live knowing that her partner was once in love with her mother? Would it be something that would wear them down with time? Cassidy would rather pull the band aid and hurt now, than years down the road.
It sounds selfish when she tells the explanation to the woman in the mirror, her reflection judges her just as harshly as anyone would. Cassidy is not someone to give up. She never gives up on important matters. In the board room Cassidy is a force to be reckoned with, she never leaves without a deal closed, a model hired, a shoot redone. She always believed you should fight for your dreams.
She shakes her head at the woman in the mirror once again. The two last days have been exhausting. Those thoughts have never left her head since she left Shelbyville two days ago. Samantha hasn't called yet, Cassidy wonders if she will ever do.
The guilt thoughts have already hit her mind yesterday, she should have stayed there with Samantha to explain her everything in time. She should have taken her head, tell her to stop sobbing and that everything would be okay. She should have told her the version of the story of the young 23-year-old Cassidy and she should have reassured her, that whatever semblance of love she had felt for the woman with the honey colored eyes was nothing compared to what she felt for her.
That is the other revelation she had on the taxi, or rather the moment she saw Sierra. She has spent a lifetime resenting her, thinking she loved her immensely. When in reality it has been half young love and half ego. The revelation is she loves Samantha with her heart and soul. She would love Samantha forever, and yet fate is cruel indeed.
She should have stayed to tell her that, maybe it was her only chance back then. But she avoided, like she always does when it comes to something she hasn't control over. She panicked, felt like if she didn't get out she was going to die. She knows it isn't an excuse for leaving the young woman, but still.
She allowed her tears to fall finally in the taxi, that was the loneliest hour of them all. The arrival at the house had been cruel too, Emily had been asking questions, and saw something bad happened and tried to consol Cassidy. The worse thing is that she hasn't even her girls there for her, they are at their dad's for the rest of the week and Cassidy has not the guts to call them and tell them to come back earlier because she isn't feeling well.

Sleep alludes her, sleep alludes her the moment her eye caught sight of a forgotten cardigan that Samantha has left. It is lavender, Vera Wang two springs ago. It is strewn across the armoire, Cassidy can not see how Emily has missed it, but she has. Cassidy has folded it neatly away, in a drawer and then she has turned off the lights and finally after a long, exhausting day she cries.
Not everyone can say they have seen the fashion queen cry. Samantha is one of the few, even before being anything other than a simple assistant, she had seen her cry. Cassidy doesn't know where things went from here, all she keeps thinking about is that a few days ago they had been so happy. Samantha was supposed to move in after they returned from her parents. Cassidy looks over at the cardigan that she can't see, locked away in a drawer. She has the urge to take it out, to hold it, to inhale whatever scent is left of Samantha. She shakes her head, it would be too cliché, too much like those series that her daughters like to watch. She slides down on the pillow, the tears still streaming down and eventually she falls asleep.

She's then woken up the next day by Emily, she simply tells Cassidy that Samantha is downstairs and came to see Cassidy. Cassidy nods and tells her maid to send her upstairs.
« Samantha. » She breathes out. She's dressed in a simple robe, sitting on the edge of her bed. Samantha is wearing a black hoodie, she always wear those when something is wrong.
« Hey. » The young woman replies in such simplicity that you couldn't tell if they had argued too days ago. « I am not here to fight you. Just tell me what happened. » She then says in a lower tone.
Cassidy sighs and invites Samantha to sit next to her, which she does. She knows she has been avoiding enough, now is the right time to let everything out.
Cassidy looks at Samantha as she sits closer to her, she looks extremely tired, her eyes are heavy and red like she cried for the two days straight. Cassidy doesn't point it out, but she feels guilty again.
« I thought your mother being the one to tell you would be better. » Cassidy starts before telling her story.
« I want to hear it from your mouth, with your words. I think I deserve to know. » Samantha insists, tilting her head.
Cassidy sighs as she remains silent for a while, Samantha is patiently waiting.
« I met her when I was younger than you, in Milan. I can't remember at which fashion show, but it wasn't a good one. » She softly chuckles to chase the tension in the room. « She caught my eye, she wasn't like everyone else in the room. I went to her after the show and we talked for a few minutes, only a few minutes. She then found me again a few days after in Paris, there we got closer and got to know each other. » She stops to meet Samantha's gaze, somehow to make sure she is still okay. She doesn't let out any emotion, she just nods to tell the older woman to continue.
She tells her everything there is to know about her short affair with Sierra, from their conversation at the little party to their walks along the Seine hand in hand. She tells her about Sierra's indecent proposal, her refusal, then their attempt to make it work. Cassidy tears up as she tells her about her unexpected phone call during the night, their short but deep talk, and then their goodbye. That's the first time Cassidy ever talked about it to someone.
Samantha doesn't say anything, she listens carefully the whole time, she fights the urge to hug Cassidy tightly when she sees her tearing up at the end. She can't hug her, she is not mad at her, but she is not sure a relationship between them could really work in the end. Especially after that conversation. She is scared to imagine what would have been between her mother and Cassidy if they would not have said goodbye, if her mom didn't marry her father, maybe they would have lived a happy ever after together, the story would have been entirely different.
Cassidy ends the memory with the exact opposite train of thought.
« I meant what I said to your mother, I'm glad she left. It gave me the strength to follow my dreams, it gave me the two most beautiful daughters I could have asked for. The truth is we were not meant to be, we would not have made each other happy, we weren't truly in love. All of this gave me you. »
Cassidy turns to look at Samantha. Both women's eyes are wet. Samantha is relieved now, she knows all the truth and knows that whatever Cassidy has felt for her mom in the past, it isn't the case anymore.
« But this love I feel for you is surrounded by my biggest regret about all this. » Cassidy adds sadly, she tries to smile slightly but she doesn't find the strength to do so. Samantha tenses as she feels what is coming.
« That whatever we do, she's still your mother. Samantha as much as I love you, it will never be possible. We will never be possible. »
Samantha bites her lip attempting not to cry, but her tears are stronger than her this time. She has thought about Cassidy doing this, she has thought about it so much that she saw it coming but wouldn't allow herself to accept it.
« Is that it? » Samantha says with a little voice.
« I love you more than you could imagine, I wish you could understand that is the reason I am doing this. We just can't... It would ruin your life. » Cassidy attempts to say again, even if it's against her own will.
Samantha shakes her head briskly, sobbing. She wishes it was all a dream, that she would wake up soon in Cassidy's arms, that everything would be okay.
« I don't care about my life Cassidy I only want you. » She tries to make the editor change her mind, but she knows how damn stubborn she is.
Cassidy takes her hand to calm her down, she forces her to look into her eyes.
« But your mother... »
« She'll accept us, trust me. Please. » Samantha begs her, tears running down her flushed cheeks.
Cassidy's throat has never burnt that much, her heart never ached like that ever.
« I'm so sorry. » She says this to Samantha and to herself as well, she is sorry for making everyone suffers around her, sorry to herself for breaking her promise of never breaking Samantha's heart.
She'd never have thought she'd be the one to end this relationship.