"So, really, I think it all began when I was a kid. My parents divorced when I was twelve, which is a very formative year in a young woman's life. Anyway, my mom never remarried, and she didn't even date. So, I developed this phobia that I would never find love either." Carolyn paused, finally. "Wait, what was the question?" She asked as she moved her gaze from one woman to the next.

A tall blond woman, whom Carolyn didn't bother to even think of learning her name, snapped her mouth shut, gathered herself, and continued. "I asked if you have any pets," she stammered. "This is a roommate interview. Remember?" she added, in shock at the therapy session unfolding before her.

"Oh, right. So, yeah, I don't own any pets. I don't really have the focus for a dog, and I just can't get a cat; it's too close to that old cat lady stereotype. I had a few houseplants at my last place, but left them with Michael. Did I mention Michael? He's my ex. I thought he was the one, but he thought we should see other people. Other people named Sarah. Other people that are fun and easygoing and not afraid that all their eggs are shriveling into stones that will never bear children and, therefore, are destined to die alone..." Carolyn spiraled again.

"Um," the other woman cut in. "So, I just remember the room isn't available," she shot as she stood.

"Wait, what? What do you mean?" Carolyn asked, as a nasally disappointed whine began to seep into her voice.

"I totally forgot that I offered it to my third cousin from Canada. So..." The shorter brunette with a pixie cut that looked like she belonged in a vampire movie added.

"Canada, that's like the universal sign for you made this person up. Trust me, I know. When I was in the seventh grade, I had a 'boyfriend' from Canada too," Carolyn began, emphasizing Canada with air quotes. "His name was Zander, and he played the tuba in the marching band. Except that he didn't because I totally made him up because stupid Mary Beth Allen told the entire school that I didn't have a boyfriend because I had lice. Oh boy, did I show her. I did have a boyfriend from Canada that I made up. And I had lice. It wasn't a great situation. My mom panicked and shaved off all my hair. Then I had to admit that even my imaginary boyfriend Zander wouldn't stay with me and my bald, probably going to get lice again, self. I'm not one of those people who can pull off a bald head. I mean, some people look all GI Jane cool, but I just look like Mr. Potato Head's weird aunt who clearly grew too close to a rock or something. There are a lot of weird lumps and indentations on this old noggin..."

"So, it was really nice to meet you, but, like Evie said, the room isn't available..." The tall blond started to usher a still babbling Carolyn to the door until Carolyn was finally met with it slamming in her face.

"Oh, and I'm in the hall," Carolyn said to no one. She glanced around the dingy yellowing-green hallway before noting, "this place would have been perfect."

Carolyn sucked in a heavy breath and headed back to where she knew she would always end up; at her best friend Keli's apartment. Keli and Carolyn had been best friends since the ninth grade when Keli moved to Fryburg, the Little Buffalo of New York. It was a small town, and Keli was from New York City. The cliques of a suburban middle school proved daunting to Keli as she hid behind thick-framed glasses. She had hoped that perhaps her braces and glasses would endear her to the nerdy clique, but unfortunately, Keli was not overly gifted in the academic department. The athletic clique was out, as she had no coordination, and the popular clique was out because, well, it was the popular clique. Keli found herself hiding in the library at lunch, begrudging her mother for packing her carrot sticks, the loudest of all the lunchtime sides. It was there that she met an awkward brunette with wide eyes and an awkward haircut that fell somewhere between a pixie cut and a shag.

"I'm Carolyn," the curious girl announced.

Keli was secretly elated that someone was talking to her, as she suffered from extreme shyness and could never start a conversation. "Hi, I'm Keli. I just moved her from the city."

In Fryburg, everyone knows what city 'the city' was referring to. Carolyn had never been to New York City. Her mom informed her early on that it was filled with rats and bimbos. It took years before Carolyn understood it was just a city, like any city, where her father moved with his new wife after he divorced her father. It took nearly a decade, but an eighteen-year-old Carolyn would learn this while out to dinner with her father, who tried to get as much of his side of the divorce story out over plates of chicken parmigiana with a thick layer of cheese congealing on top.

"I didn't leave you, Care Bear. I left your mother," I finished.

A still fourteen-year-old Carolyn was still thinking her father had vanished in a cloud of indulgence to a city of rats and bimbos. However, Carolyn didn't care because it returned to her Keli, who would become her much-needed best friend.

Now, as she stood outside the door of Keli's adorable one-bedroom on the fourth floor of a five-floor walk-up, she breathed a heavy breath of relief before unlocking the door with her key and announcing, "I'm back. That place just wasn't a fit. They really wanted someone with pets and houseplants. Plus, there is a cousin from Canada," Carolyn began to ramble as she tossed her keys into the bowl on the side table and glanced up, expecting to see her oldest and dearest friend. Instead, her eyes fell on a man. "Oh," she announced in surprise before looking the handsome man over.

He was sitting, but Carolyn imagined him standing tall before her. He exuded confidence and grace. His skin was a rich, deep shade, smooth and flawless. His dark, deep brown hair was thick and lustrous, styled in a way that complemented his strong chin and defined cheekbones. His eyes were captivating, a deep brown or black, with a piercing gaze that could hold your attention effortlessly, giving him an air of mystery and allure. A strong, masculine structure and overall symmetry and attractiveness result from his chiseled jawline and high cheekbones. His lips were full and well-shaped, curling into a charming smile that lit up his entire face.

He stood to greet Carolyn. As he did, he carried himself with an air of sophistication and elegance, his posture straight and his movements fluid and purposeful. His attire was always impeccable, looking effortlessly stylish and put-together.

"Hello, sailor," Carolyn greeted in an awkward cartoonish voice.

"Um, hi. I'm Derek. You must be Carolyn. Keli has mentioned you." His voice was smooth like caramel.

"Don't believe what you've read in the papers," Carolyn awkwardly announced before adding a nervous giggle. She then took a deep breath and steadied herself, imagining she was as poised as Princess Kate. "Derek, you say. I haven't had the pleasure," she channeled too much, and a terrible British accent soaked her words as she stuck out a delicate hand like a southern belle.

"Right, so Keli should be right out. She was just grabbing a coat. It's getting chilly outside," Derek offered.

"Chilly like a dog," Carolyn babbled. "I don't like chili dogs. They give me the runs..."

"Carolyn, you're back... so quickly," Keli stammered from the doorway to her bedroom.

"Yep, it wasn't a fit," Carolyn began.

Derek, seeing where this was going, cut in with "they wanted pets, and houseplants, and someone from Canada."

"Oh, okay, so we're still looking, and you are staying here," Keli said, almost to herself.

Keli looked over her friend of a decade. Carolyn was still an awkward but not unattractive woman. She styled her brunette hair with blunt bangs that framed her wide, expressive eyes. A striking feature, her eyes were always wide open, as if she were constantly surprised or curious about the world around her. Her attire often resembled that of a kindergarten teacher, featuring a lot of loud, colorful prints. She had a penchant for bright, mismatched patterns that made her stand out in any crowd. Dresses adorned with cartoon characters, floral prints, and vibrant geometric shapes filled her wardrobe. Despite her quirky fashion sense, there was a certain charm to her appearance that made her endearing, almost homey.

Even in her mid-twenties, Carolyn's mannerisms added to her awkwardness. She had a tendency to fidget when she was nervous, often playing with the ends of her hair or adjusting her glasses. Her frequent tangents of personal anecdotes, unrelated to the conversation, sometimes made her speech disjointed. However, her genuine and earnest nature made it hard for Keli not to love her. She had a warm smile that could light up her face, and her laughter was infectious, even if it came at unexpected moments.

Conversely, Keli had grown into a beautiful woman in her mid-twenties. Her transformation over the years had been remarkable. The braces and glasses that once adorned her face had given way to perfect teeth and contacts, enhancing her natural beauty. Her smile was now radiant, showcasing her flawless teeth, and her eyes, free from the confines of glasses, sparkled with a newfound confidence. Wherever she went, she turned heads, drawing admiration and attention effortlessly.

Her skin was a warm, rich tone, smooth, and glowing with health. Dark and lustrous, her hair framed her face in soft waves, adding to her allure. Keli's features were striking: high cheekbones, a well-defined jawline, and full, shapely lips that often curled into captivating smiles.

Keli carried herself with an air of elegance and poise. Her posture was straight, and her movements were graceful and purposeful. She had a keen sense of style and always dressed impeccably, whether in casual wear or more formal attire. Her wardrobe was a blend of modern chic and timeless classics, reflecting her sophisticated taste. She had a knack for accessorizing, often adding a touch of glamor with statement jewelry or a stylish handbag.

Despite her stunning appearance, Keli remained grounded and approachable. Her warm personality and genuine kindness made her even more attractive. She had a way of making people feel comfortable and valued, and her laughter was infectious, bringing joy to those around her. Keli's transformation was not just physical; it was a testament to her inner strength and resilience, making her a truly remarkable and beautiful woman, and much of it she contributed to Carolyn. Her loyal friend that stood by her as an ugly duckling. She found it hard always to trust new friends and often found herself gravitating back to Carolyn.

"Yep, the hunt is still afoot, dear Watson, but don't fear. I have many leads," Carolyn continued. "And where are you too going?" She added in a loopy, immature voice.

"There is a new fondue placed a few blocks away that we were going to try," Derek offered. "You could join us? I am sure they could fit another seat at the table."

Images of a table for two with boiling oil in the center and Carolyn in the thick of it splashed through Keli's head in a panic. "Or if you wanted to come, we could go someplace else," Keli added.

"No, no, no, you two kids have fun. The night is young, and so are you. I'm just going to change into my jammies and put on some historical romance movie. Tasteful, of course; I'm not in the smut," Carolyn added with a wink to Derek, making both him and Keli feel slightly awkward. "Maybe I'll think about what I would name a cat if I had one. I'm thinking something classic, like James, Orson, or maybe Mr. Boots. Oh, I could name him Adam. I dated an Adam in high school. He was my first love. Keli, remember Adam?" But Carolyn didn't wait for an answer. "He was great; kind, smart, cute as Mr. Boots. Who knows what would have happened if college hadn't separated us?"

"Okay, well then. We are going to go," Keli cut in. "But call me if you need anything," she added earnestly.

"I'm fine. Mr. Boots and I are going to have a great night," Carolyn offered.

"Carolyn, you do realize you don't actually have a cat, right?" Keli skeptically asked.

"Do I look like a crazy person?" Carolyn joked.

No one answered. They just backed away with awkward laughs. As the door closed behind Keli and Derek, Carolyn slumped down on the couch. She let her mind wander to Adam and all the other men between him and Michael who had passed through her life. She couldn't help but wonder if one of them was really her one in a million.

Welcome to ONC 2025, where there are so many beginnings and far fewer endings. The plan here is for Carolyn to rant her way through all her previous failed romances in hopes of finding her one true love. What do you think? Are you interested in reading more? Let me know in the comments!

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