A Bit About the Author:

mrimagination01 is a writer, debater, and game designer with one title in print. If you've heard of the tabletop role-playing game, BLADE, it was created by this guy. He writes various stories, but his main genre is fantasy, inspired by Brandon Sanderson, J.R.R. Tolkien, George R.R. Martin, C.S. Lewis, and Christopher Paolini. 

(Also bonus points because we finally met a year ago exactly. XD)

Title:

While original and gives off a dark fantasy vibe, it doesn't really grab my attention as effectively as I believe it should. It's fine as it is, but it probably wouldn't get more than a glance from me in a bookstore—unless I was specifically looking for dark fantasy.

Cover:

The cover is alright. I dislike the weird white bar at the top and it's not very eye-catching. It certainly doesn't give off a dark fantasy vibe and I believe your story deserves better, personally. 

Blurb:

First off, too long. This is perfect for a synopsis, but not a blurb. It's far too long. I would suggest cutting it down. Give us enough information to guess what the story's about and be interested in reading it, but not so much that we know the majority of what the story is about. That's the job for a synopsis, not a blurb. Just cut it, shred it, and up the drama. The blurb is to hook the reader into opening the story, not tell them what the story is all about. 

The Good:

You have a fascinating story going on. While I don't usually read dark fantasy because it's...well...dark, this is an exception. I really enjoy the plot that you have going on and your characters are very well-rounded. I've greatly enjoyed getting to know them and I can't wait to see more of them in action in following updates. These are definitely your strong points, but most of all your dialogue. There is little idle chatter in your story, which felt off at first, but I grew to love it and even envy the skill in which you make everything each character says have so much meaning and impact, not just as mere words, but in relation to the story have a much deeper meaning. It flows so well, like it's from some ancient tome of history. I loved it so much. Good work with all of this.

The Bad:

Minus the typos that appear in anyone's first draft, my only issue was the descriptions. While you perfectly describe everything so I literally feel like I'm there, it often works against you in bogging down the pacing with all these chunks of description. Veer away from turning purple-prosey. It's as dangerous as going into the Arcath. Keep your descriptions, but maybe try toning them down so the reader doesn't feel like they have to trudge through all these paragraphs just to get to the action. And when writing action scenes, limit them, please. They slow down the pacing so much that it feels like nothing is happening. Set the scene when necessary and then do minimal descriptions--especially focus on abstract things to give it more impact. You have a gift for description, but don't overuse it. ;)

What the Reader Thought:

Again, not a big fan of dark fantasy. But this isn't like gross dark fantasy. It actually reminded me a lot of my one novella Within the Forest as far as the cursed forest goes, though your story is far cooler and I'm really interested to find out what's really going on and why and whether it's going to be resolved. You have a lot of good things going for you. Just watch the descriptions and maybe heighten up the danger a bit more. This might be due to the description problem, but I feel like your story is not as tense as it should be for dark fantasy. Possibly toning down those descriptions should help, but maybe also consider making the whole "darkness" more apparent as it was in the first chapters and then when Aster fell asleep in the forest. Keep that tension up. It will serve you well. (I hope!) Anyway, I enjoyed reading another story of yours and I can't wait for more chapters!

Score: 8/10