[Location: Ozpin's office]

James: They were here... Ozpin they were here!

Glynda: We are very much aware of that. Thank you James.

James: Fantastic, you're aware. Now are we going to do something about it or should we just stay the course and continue to ignore what's right in front of us?

*beep beep beep*

Ozpin: Come in.

From the entrance, Ruby walks in.

Ruby: Ah! Sorry it took so long. Someone accidentally hit all the buttons on the elevator on the way up here... It wasn't me.

Ozpin: Thank you for coming Ruby, how are you feeling?

Ruby: Okay, I guess. I'd feel better if my bad-guy catching record wasn't 0 for 3. Heh...

Ozpin:...

Glynda:...

James:...

Ruby: Okay so that's the tone we're going for got it...

James: Ruby, I feel it's appropriate to let you know that I think what you did last night is exactly what being a Huntress is all about. You recognized a threat, you took action, and you did the very best you could.

Ruby: Thank you sir.

Ozpin: Now, the general here has already informed us of the events that... transpired last night. But now that you've rested we were wondering if you had anything to add.

Glynda: Was anyone else with her? Did she look familiar to you at all?

Ruby: I... "sigh" I don't know. She was wearing a mask. And she never said anything to me, but I know she fought with glass. I don't think that was her semblance though. Her clothing lit up whenever she attacked.

Glynda: Save for the glass, that sounds like the woman I fought the night we met Ruby.

James: Embedding dust into clothing is an age-old technique. It could have been anyone.

Ruby: Wait, you think this girl is connected to Torchwick and the White Fang?

Ozpin:... It's possible. But we still lack the required evidence to link the two together.

Ruby: Actually I-I remember her saying something about a hideout or something... in the Southeast. Just outside the kingdom.

Ozpin: *smirk* Interesting.

Glynda: I thought you said the intruder never-

Ozpin: Thank you for your cooperation Ruby. Why don't you go and spend some time with your team? You have a big day ahead of you.

Ruby: Anytime.

Ozpin: And Miss Rose, please try and be... discreet about this matter.

Ruby: Yes sir.

She takes her leave.

James: Well there we have it. We send as many troops as we can to the Southeast. Find out exactly what's going on and eradicate any forces that stand in our way.

Glynda: Why must your answer to everything involve a triumphant display of military bravado? You treat every situation like it's a contest of measuring d-

Ozpin: Glynda!

Glynda: Well he does.

Ozpin: She's right. As much as I too would love too end this situation once and for all. We must remember that this may go beyond Vale, beyond Beacon. And if this truly is part of some master plan for which we know not the final move, we must not be so bold. Nor can we risk the spread of panic.

James: I have served you faithfully for years. But if you mean to tell me that your plan is to really hold the defenses and wait-

Ozpin: It is not! You're a general, James. So tell me, when you prepare to go to war, which do you send in first? The flag-bearer, or the scouts?

After a few more minutes of talking, both Glynda and James leave Ozpin's office. As he sits down in his chair, he looks around the room and notices what seems to be smoke sinking into the ground over in a corner. He rubs his eyes and looks again. Nothing.

Ozpin: "sigh" At this age, the mind is the first to go.

[Location: Team EBNY restroom]

(Y/n)'s p.o.v.

I faze back into the cubicle in my dorm bathroom and think about what I heard.

(Y/n): 'Hmm. At least Cinder was a little more discrete this time. But Glynda remembers her... No big deal. They still don't have the slightest clue what's going o-

*BAM BAM BAM*

Elly: BY MONTY OUM'S ASIAN COCK! WILL YOU TWO HURRY THE FUCK UP!

Brock: Girl, you do not rush perfection!

Oh yes. In our dorm, we made a rule that boys and girls will take turns using the bathroom. Brock and I could have been done thirty minutes ago... but we are taking longer as payback for how long Elly takes. Unfortunately, poor Natalie has to suffer as well.

Natalie: Mmmmmmmh. What are guys even doing in there?

Brock: Doing my hair.

(Y/n): And I'm giving birth! I think I'll name it Cardin.

I tighten up a wad of toilet paper and drop it into the toilet to elicit a splash before flushing.

(Y/n): Well, I'm done.

Brock: Aaannd... So am I! Oh, wait. I think I see a split end.

Elly: BROCK I SHIT YOU NOT!!! *grumble* Ooohhh, why did I say that?

(Y/n): Alright, let's go before they defecate themselves.

We open the door and see Elly with her hands over her stomach and Natalie holding her crotch while doing the pee dance.

(You know the one)

Brock: Your majesties. The royal throne awa-

Elly: Move blondie!

She shoves Brock out of the way and makes a bee line for the toilets. Natalie passes by with a quick 'excuse me'.

(Y/n): Let's head to the auditorium. They can catch up.

Brock: Sounds good.

[Location: Auditorium]

As Elly and Natalie finally show up, everyone had to listen to Ozpin drone on about war being bad and people naming their kids after colors. Back then I was hoping that trend would die out. We made our way to the monitors where we will be traveling with a Huntress or Huntsman. There is just one problem though...

Brock: Search and destroy!

Natalie: Village security!

Brock: Search and destroy!

Natalie: Village security!

Elly: "mumble" Oh my gawd. (Y/n), can you help me with this?

I step up to the monitor and type in our team name in search and destroy.

Natalie: Aw, come on!

Brock: Ha! In your face, tree girl!

*MISSION UNAVAILABLE TO FIRST YEAR STUDENTS*

Brock: What the-

(Y/n): That's what I thought. Too dangerous for us even with a Huntsman.

Natalie: Alright! Than let's go for-

(Y/n): We're not doing village security either.

Natalie: Aaww...

(Y/n): Hmmm... How about this?

SEARCH AND RESCUE

*MISSING SUPPLIES

*QUADRANT 4

*MISSION START: ASAP

Elly: I'm down with that.

Brock/Natalie: Sure, I guess...

(Y/n): Alright, I'll just put in our name a-

Weiss: Will you hurry up!

Turning around slowly, I am faced with team RWBY. I focuse my gaze on Weiss with my hand on my chest.

(Y/n): Excuuuuuse me, princess. But I don't recall asking for your fucking opinion! Shut up! If I want to know about refining dust or minimum wage for manual labor, I'll find you.

I punched in our team name and we made our way to the airships, leaving behind a flabbergasted Weiss and a chuckling team.

Natalie: So, who are we going to shadow on this mission?

Brock: I don-

???: Team EBNY, correct?

We turn around to face the owner of the voice...

Elly: Professor Peach?

----

*you see the author running in the distance*

A/n: Everyone, head for the hills! Salem discovered the internet!

Salem: WhY iS tHeRe A pIcTuRe Of Me WiTh TwO dIcKs NoW?!?!?!

A/n: Run for your lives!

*rips off a man hole cover and dives in*