M A Y A

Oh, she is not pleased.

Mrs Sinclair stairs disappointedly at the paper I submitted, then heaves a deep sigh as if I've personally offended her entire bloodline.

She removes her glasses, and stares at me. A dejected sigh leaves her lips. "I'll have to be honest, Maya."

Not Miss Roy, but Maya. And that was the cue I needed to know, shit is serious.

I've, throughout my 1st and current 2nd semester, admired Mrs Mackenzie Sinclair as the perfect educator of Psychology she is. She has a Bachelor's degree from freaking Cambridge, a Master's from Yale, both M.Phil and Ph.D degrees from Harvard, before she decided to settle in as a Professor at HallWood University. Generally, to rank up to the Professor role, one begins as Assistant Professor, but given her academic merits, the University Board offered her the Professor and Head of Psychology Department role, readily.

But in my eyes, it is not her degrees that determine her merit, rather the way she conducts classes, doesn't shy away from providing constructive feedback, and genuinely wishes success for her students.

And ever since I came across her lecture videos as a high school sophomore, I had only wished to sign up for her special mentorship program and get accepted. Even though I knew it was going to be hard and competitive like hell; for every 6 months she only selected two students across all the years at HallWood. It was a demanding mentorship program of course.

In the 1st semester, I couldn't but at the start of this semester in January, I did it. I got accepted by her.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to please her with my monthly assignments for the past four months.

Perhaps Mom was right. I am not intellectually smart enough for both HallWood University and Psychology.

"Maya, this is serious."

I nod, gulping down the lump in my throat. "I understand, Mrs Sinclair."

"I don't think you do so, yet." Mrs Sinclair's gaze softens. "I am not saying this to demean you, Maya. You are a gem of a mentee that I am fortunate to have."

A tiny flicker of pride swells in my chest, but I can feel a lingering 'but' coming.

"But, you're stopping yourself from showing your full potential. Do not get me wrong. Your research papers are worth A+ however, they are not enough to please me. And nor will they please the stern administrative board at London Institute of Psychological Sciences."

The lump in my throat grows bigger. I'm painfully aware of the fact that my research papers are not ready enough for the winter internship of one year I'm planning to do at London Institute of Psychological Sciences. They will have one look at my academic transcripts, CV, and no letter of recommendation because of course, Mrs Sinclair won't write me a letter of recommendation until and unless I have reached her expectation—and reject me.

Tomorrow is 1st May and I have till May 31st to send in my application. If I don't, I'll quite likely put an end to ever again thinking of this internship.

Of course, one rejection does not mean I should stop, right? I have three more years before I even complete my Bachelor's degree.

However, I am not like everyone. I do not have time like others. If I cannot get this winter internship this year, I'll be kissing goodbye to my degrees and HallWood University. Forever.

"Bring me a new research paper on a new topic." She wore her glasses back and resumed typing on her laptop. "I have high expectations, Miss Roy. Don't disappoint me."

"Yes Mrs Sinclair." Murmuring, I leave the office as the lump in my throat continues growing.

* * *

"Well, did it get accepted?"

My little sister Mira stares at me with anticipation.

I shake my head with a tightened smile. "Unfortunately, nope."

Mira groans, flopping down on the bed. "Are you sure, this Mackenzie Sinclair is actually legit? I have read your papers and they are amazing with a capital A."

I get on the bed beside her with a smile, pulling the comforter over us. Mira always has my back, no matter what. I just hope I'm always there for her.

"She is awesome, Mira," I say, ruffling my sister's hair. "Like, really awesome. And I just, need that letter of recommendation from her."

"Aren't there other professors at your uni who could do that?"

"Mhm, there are but none's will be as impactful as Mrs Sinclair's. Getting an internship at LIPS? Touching the moon. More like freaking sun."

"LIPS ew, why is that the abbreviation." Mira's face makes me snort out loud. Gosh she knows how to get a cackle out of me.

"Okay fine. London Institution of Psychological Sciences. Better?"

"Much better, pfft." She grabs a pillow and faces me in a way that says 'enough study talk'. "Spill the tea. I want to hear something juicy."

Immediately what happened this morning replays in my head, and a bitter feeling spreads.

"You know Chase Dalton?"

"The hot guy you keep eyeing?" Mira snickers.

I scowl. "I don't eye. I observe and enjoy drama. How else am I going to be your personal radio broadcast?"

She bursts out laughing. "That's true. Okay, continue. This has to be something epic."

"Well, to put it shortly, Chase wants me to fake date him for a month so we can fool his best friend that he didn't actually fuck his best friend's girl."

"And did you say yes?" Mira makes googly eyes at me.

"Ew, of course not Mira." I roll my eyes. "As if I would date him, even if it were real."

"But it is not real and you get to enjoy dating the hottest guy on campus, even though it's fake." She winks. "Enjoy life Maya. Although, I'm not forcing you." She sighs deeply, staring up at the ceiling. "You know, I would've had some fun acting and pretending to fake-date a hot guy as if I were in a rom-com. Not that I can do that, you know."

My heart clenches at her words. Unlike me, my little sister has always wanted to enjoy life and be in dramas—just because she enjoys the thrill of it and could feel like the protagonist of a sappy soap opera. She romanticises life and makes solitude seem serene and fun.

Mira is the sun to my life and oh, how cruel this life is—for tragically, she is losing a little bit of her lively soul every single day.

After frequent asthma attacks, and thorough routine check-ups, Mira was officially diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, four years ago.

For unknown reasons, this disease causes scarring and thickening of the lung tissues and the concerning part is that it's irreversible.

During the initial years, Mira had become so depressed that my urge to study Psychology grew even more. I wanted to study human psychology so I could learn better on how to console and uplift my sister.

At the age of seventeen, she is already stronger than I could ever be.

How tragic that the girl who wants to live is surviving with a smile everyday on her face, knowing one day, she will die?

Who am I kidding? I haven't been able to grasp the full gravity of the situation yet. Or perhaps, it's just my way of coping, hoping one day there will be a miracle.

"Gosh what a depressing silence." Mira chortles, wiping away a tear that had slipped out her eyes. "Enough about me, tell me what's your next plan. About the whole internship thing."

Over the years I've mastered the skill to hide my tears and urge to cry in front of Mira. I clear my throat before saying. "Well, my next plan would be sitting in front of my laptop for hours, researching, browsing, before I find an interesting topic with enough potential to work on. And tomorrow head early to the uni library, I guess."

Mira hugged me. "I'm sorry Maya. I know how important this is for you. Honestly, you're gonna slay. If only I—"

"Hey hey, don't even think about that." I flick her forehead making her chuckle. "None of this is your fault. And honestly, I get where Mom is coming from—"

It is followed by a cough before Mira suddenly begins to hyperventilate, her breathing unstable. I don't even stay at the house to know what she does during these episodes.

"MOM!" I yell, a desperate cry coming out of my throat as I open the door and keep screaming for her from upstairs.

It doesn't take long for the frantic woman to come running, the facial mask almost falling off her face. "What's wrong?!"

I can barely speak, yet I try. "M-Mira, s-she can't breathe—"

"Move!" Pushing me aside, and cursing how I'm always causing trouble for her, she rushes inside the room.

I watch helplessly as Mom helps Mira sit upright, making her lean slightly forward. Then she levels the oxygen at the prescribed level before helping her with the mask.

Even in her weakened condition, Mira manages to smile and shows me a thumbs up before it drops.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

* * *

"What did the doctor say—"

"I think you should leave now." Mom looks at me, her gaze ever the same. Stern and devoid of love.

"I was wondering...perhaps I could stay over tonight. Mira might need me."

"She does not need you." Mom points an accusing finger at me. "Do us both a favour and go back to your dorms." She pours herself some beer, before chugging it down in one sip. "Whenever you're around, something always happens."

My lips wobble. "Mom, I'm trying. It's not that I don't care for Mira."

"Yet you chose your damn major over hers."

Guilt strikes me as memories take me back to last year.

After Dad passed away, Mom struggled with Mira's medical fees and other expenses. As a result, she asked me to not, well, attend university. She wouldn't have been able to handle additional university fees on top of everything and wanted me to find a job somewhere already. So I could maybe help.

My passion was so strong that I, selfishly, argued with Mom and earned myself a scholarship to HallWood University.

But our argument ended on a condition. I have till my 2nd semester to prove myself and earn an internship at LIPS. Otherwise, I'd have to leave HallWood. Forever.

She'd force me to leave, even.

I guess Mom has been frustrated with me, ever since I refused to give up studying for Mira. She called me a 'selfish bitch' and perhaps I am.

It's not that I'm not trying my best. I am. I have even thought of spending all the money I receive at the internship, if I get accepted for it—I'll spend it on Mira.

I hope at least that will have Mom return to her old self. Back when she used to love and cherish us both equally.

"Fine, I'll leave." Grabbing my jacket, I head out into the biting breeze. It's summer yet the night seems especially chilly today.

The subway to campus doesn't take too long. Considering that it usually takes two hours, time passes by in a blur today.

It's a busy night with everyone returning from work and other activities. Yet, I feel empty. Not at all irritated, at the 9 PM crowd.

Even after the ten minutes walk from the station to the campus, my feet automatically take me to the opposite side instead of my dorms.

Famously known as the hidden 'Lovers' Lake', people usually avoid the area because it is rumoured to be frequented by spirits looking for their lovers. The rumour was obviously spread by me, so I could keep the place all for myself.

I climb over the wall of a desolate alley, walk a few steps until I reach ivy vines. Pushing them apart, in moments, I find myself in the safe haven of a bench looking over to a sparkling lake where moonlight reflects beautifully.

Inhaling the fresh air, I sit on the bench.

I guess Mira was right. There is peace in solidarity.

Well, I am not quite in solidarity I suppose, as someone sits beside me. Gosh, who even—

I scowl. "Chad."

He smirks. "Miranda."

"Haha, really funny." I roll my eyes. "Stalking me now, are you?"

"Please, I've much better things to do than stalking someone."

"Like, fucking random girls not knowing they are your best friend's girlfriend?"

His face turns bitter. "Cut it out. I actually didn't know about their relationship, okay?"

"And why should I believe you? We don't even know each other properly."

"Exactly why you shouldn't judge me either."

Fair point, unfortunately.

"Then tell me, how the heck did you discover this place? No one other than me should know about it. Well others do know about it but it's haunted."

Chase snorts. "And I bet you made that story up, huh?"

My face flushes at how quickly he discovers the truth.

"Caught you." He smirks, again. "I've been coming here for a while. I didn't know you did either."

I stare at him suspiciously, before thinking of giving him the benefit of the doubt. I honestly did not have any energy left to argue; even chat with him.

"Didn't know playboys and fuckboys were capable of enjoying solidarity." I murmur, hoping he doesn't hear. To my relief, he doesn't.

And suddenly, my eyes light up. Hold the fuck up.

I think I just found my research topic. And the lab rat? Chase fucking Dalton.

"Hey Chase."

"Mhm?"

"Let's date."