PTSD.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Jason's mouth let the words out one by one, practicing for when he'd tell his parents. He had to tell them, he knew; this couldn't be a secret for long. And Delilah had advised him to because it would help him on his road to recovery.

Whether it would help him move on from the kidnapping, he didn't know. The trauma had become as much a part of him as the hair on his head, following him around everywhere as a dark shadow. Three years of being stuck in a basement—three whole years—had resulted in this.

"Post Trau-ma-tic Stress Dis-or-der."

Then came the wedding. His parents thought it was a good idea to save the business, both Dynalogic and the one owned by the Abbington family; when Jason and Emily married, it would get them a lot of media attention and trust from the public, which was needed to get everything rolling smoothly again. The idea was good, the execution not so much. Jason had called off the wedding when he realized he couldn't be around Emily for the rest of his life, both because of her loving someone else and the nightmares she reminded him of. That same day, he'd realized he needed help.

Not long after, Delilah had diagnosed him with PTSD. He didn't know what it meant back then, but it was what would control every day in his life—and it already had been controlling everything since the day he came back from the kidnapping, he just hadn't known it.

"Post Trau-ma-tic Stress Dis-or-der."

Only Audrey knew about it. As his assistant, she needed to schedule in all his appointments, the therapy sessions included. No one else knew; not his parents, not his coworkers, not even Emily. Although he couldn't help but wonder if she was experiencing the same thing.

But right now wasn't the time to think about that. Instead, he was practicing the talk he planned to have with his parents today over and over again, which is how he found himself at work mouthing the words 'post-traumatic stress disorder' multiple times.

He was sorting through piles of paper, but his head wasn't in it. Instead, his mouth was forming the syllables, hoping it would do the same when he was facing his parents. "Post-trau-ma-tic stress dis—"

"Jason!"

"Jason!" Emily shrieked, and she rushed to get up. "No, no, no, don't take him!"

A guy was quick to take her down, but her feet were still kicking in the air, wishing to run away. Jason could only look at her struggling as he was being taken away, hands on his back, until his taker turned his head forcefully so he would be looking to the other side.

After having spent every second together for months after months, they didn't even have each other anymore now.

All of his muscles froze at once.

The sudden voice surprised him as his eyes hadn't been looking at the door to see someone approaching, and when he turned, he was met by Ethan and Aiden, who had been waiting just outside of his office. Jason, Ethan, and Aiden had been friends since middle school and now worked at the same company. Or, more accurately, Jason was their boss now. That was a bit weird, but the guys needed a job and didn't seem to mind as much as Jason did.

"Oh, hi guys," Jason said. He felt relief knowing it wasn't an employee harassing him with questions he didn't want to answer or know how to answer, but the same relief caused him to feel guilty.

"Anything interesting happen in there?" Ethan asked his friend while bumping his fist against Jason's shoulder. The unexpected movement made Jason flinch and take a step back, but Ethan didn't notice.

"Bugger all," Jason said. "Shares, merger, problems with the merger, how to solve the problems with the merger... Nothing new." All the employees knew about the merger as the process had been very public.

Jason walked over to the other side of his desk while the guys stood on the other side, giving him some personal space. "So, what's new with you?" he asked them when they kept quiet and looked at him expectantly.

"We have a question," Aiden said. He had a suspicious smile on his lips.

"You look dodgy," Jason said. His chin dipped when he focused on the stack of paper before him, as he'd done just now, but not before he'd given them a last little push to talk. "Well, ask away."

Ethan looked at Aiden and took over. "After work, we and a couple of others are going out."

Going out? Just the words frightened Jason to the bone, and he couldn't even begin to imagine the situation.

"But don't say no yet!" Aiden said before Jason could reply. "We know it's not the same anymore after you came back in January..."

That was true; it hadn't been. Jason didn't spend as much time with his friends as he used to and preferred to be alone now. He didn't need the alcoholic drinks, loud music, screaming voices, unpredictable dancers, or the company of his friends, and actually wanted to stay away from that.

"... but just remember the good times we had," Aiden continued. "During high school and your first year at uni, we used to go out every night!"

"This could be just as fun," Ethan said, and he put his hands down on Jason's desk to lean forward. Jason took a step back, getting annoyed by Ethan's tendency to get close to him, and he ignored his pounding heart and shaking hands. Those same loud noises he'd hear at a club would remind him of something else.

"So, are you coming?" Aiden asked. "Tonight?"

"Where are we going?" Jason asked. They had left the basement now, leaving Emily behind, although her screams were still audible from here.

"You don't need to know." And the guy holding him tightened his grip around Jason's upper arm, dragging him with him.

"Tonight?" Jason repeated. "To a pub?"

Crowded rooms, loud music, chaos, darkness, and strangers—many strangers. He could already feel the walls closing in on him and he started sweating just at the thought of going out. Being in a tight, dark space with no one familiar was his biggest nightmare.

"Well, I'd love to, but..." Jason began, trying to put them off gently. Although he wasn't looking forward to going out, he didn't want to disappoint them with the news either.

Aiden tilted his head and his eyes grew bigger. "Please," he said. "Just think about it for a while."

"I can't," Jason said, and his eyes averted to the window giving a view of many other tall, silver buildings, identical to the one he was currently in. "I'm sorry."

Aiden looked away for a second and bit his lip while Ethan played with the fabric of his red tie. Neither of the three looked the other in the eyes.

"I really am sorry," Jason said again. He felt obligated to give a good reason as his friends didn't even know how much the thought of going to a club scared him. "But... It's not my cup of tea. And don't you think it would be weird? With me, as your and their boss, going to the pub?"

Aiden tilted his head. "So, it's an image issue," he said. It came off more aggressive than he wanted it to, but Jason knew he had every reason to be angry with him.

"No," Jason said. "I also can't go—I have other plans."

"What about Emily?" Jason asked. Her screams were still ringing in his ears, even though he was too far away to hear her now.

"I have a different plan for her," the guy with the beanie said to Jason, spitting out the words. The grin on his face sent a shiver down Jason's spine.

It wasn't a lie; Jason had other plans. However, he also knew these were just excuses. If he hadn't had any, he wouldn't have gone with them either; he was too scared.

Ethan took a step back and held his hands up. "It's cool," he said. "It's fine."

Those words let Jason know he could add Ethan to the long list of people he'd disappointed.

"As long as you know what you're missing out on," Ethan added, his blue eyes sparkling and a dimple appearing as he smiled.

Jason grinned. "I know." A panic attack was what he was missing out on—and he was more than happy to.

* * *

It was Thursday, and on Thursdays, the King family had dinner with the Abbingtons. This had become a weekly tradition for the families after the failed wedding as they tried to sort all kinds of things out over expensive meals.

Jason had forgotten all about it, but driving down the front lane of his parents' house and seeing the Abbingtons' Porsche was enough to remind him. So much for talking to his parents about his PTSD; not when the Abbingtons were here too.

Jason looked down at his plate before him. This King-Abbington dinner, steak and kidney pie was on the menu—not necessarily something Jason liked, but it was British, so it was good enough to make him happy. He was proud of his English heritage and tried to show it off whenever he could. Not that he had to try hard to do that; his British accent usually was a big tell for people to know where he came from.

Malcolm laid his hands down on the table and looked around at all that were present. "So, I'm glad to announce the businesses are doing great," he said. "Our shares' values have stopped decreasing and even had a slight increase in the past few days, so we're excited to see how this will continue." He took his wife's hand in his, looked at her with a smile, and squeezed her hand a little to show how content he was.

It had been a struggle; the businesses had been in bad weather for a few years now. First, the crisis from 2008 took a toll and just when the companies seemed to overcome it, the kidnapping happened. Malcolm King and Matthew Abbington had been unable to lead the companies while they were grieving after having lost their kids, and their minds were set on something else. The return of Jason and Emily didn't do much good for them either—just like the wedding hadn't; both events had had an effect on their minds and had them distracted from work.

But they tried to rise above it again, and these dinners were one of their solutions. However, Jason suspected his parents invited him and Emily to this dinner every week to let them know the damage they caused, even though he was already aware of the mistakes he'd made.

"We're hoping we can continue this good streak," Matthew said. "It would make the merger much easier."

"I'm proud of you," Grace said to her husband Malcolm. She took his hand. "This can't have been easy for both of you." She also looked at Matthew when she said this, and a smile curled her lips.

"Well, a wedding would have made it easier—" Matthew tried.

Malcolm interrupted him. "The important thing is that Jason and Emily are happy and the businesses will survive. We shouldn't dwell in the past."

"Are you happy now?" he asked her. In the background, he could hear the upset chatter of guests, but they weren't a part of it anymore now that the wedding had been called off.

Emily nodded, and a smile appeared. "I am."

Jason had the tendency to roll his eyes at Emily, who was thinking the same thing as him. Their parents—and especially Emily's dad—tried to trap them in guilt. What the point of that was, neither of them knew; another wedding wouldn't happen and even if it did, the public wouldn't trust them to go through with it this time. Everyone had been disappointed when the 'dream couple' fell apart.

"So, Jason, what is it like to work alongside your father?" Brooke asked. She chuckled as she continued, "I can imagine it's not easy."

Jason laughed too but didn't say anything in response to her failing joke. If she thought that way about his father, she didn't know him at all—and even as he tried to laugh about it, Jason didn't think it was funny.

"It's all right," he said. He was holding his fork and knife in his hands but wasn't doing anything to bring the food from the plate to his mouth. "I'm adjusting to the new position after only working at the company for a few months, and although it's difficult, I can handle it."

"Jason has been doing great," Malcolm said, his words now contrasting his earlier words from when he and Jason had been talking in the empty meeting room. "I've only heard good feedback from other people at the company too. We're all excited to have him."

"Do you like working there?" Jason's mother Grace asked her son.

Jason shrugged. "It's okay," he said, with which he ended the conversation he had never wanted to be a part of.

He looked around the room. Brooke picked up her fork, Matthew whispered something in her ear, Emily was unbothered, Malcolm stared at his plate, and Grace looked at Jason, expectantly, waiting for more. So, this was his future. Who knew for how long these dinners would go on, and how long these people would be a part of his life. If nothing changed, this would be his forever.

To shake off such thoughts, he introduced a new topic and an excuse to escape. "I need a drink," he said. "Anyone else fancy something?"

Grace nodded and handed him her glass. "The usual," she said.

"I'll go with you," Emily said to Jason. She was just as glad that an excuse had come up to leave the dining room as he was.

"We'll stay together," Emily said. A tear slid down his cheek, and even though she was wearing cuffs, she managed to put her hand on his shoulder. "No matter what happens, I'll be here."

Together,they left the others behind.