I GO UPSTAIRS and lay next to Hanes as he attempts to fall asleep. His face is somber and he looks broken up. The Hanes I knew has been completely crushed under the stress. He's just a dead and lifeless soul slipping out in bits of madness and rage.

I don't wish to taunt him as I have. I don't know why I like his negative attention as much as the good, nowadays. I think I just like the fact that he still cares enough to get worked up over it all.

We've grown cold. I never know how I'll be feeling in the next minute or how he will react. I never know if he'll be loving when I speak to him or dismiss me entirely. I've forgotten how things used to be. Was he always so distant? So cold?

He peeks his eyes open to see me laying beside him.

"Still hate me?" He mumbles in his raspy waking voice.

"Yes," I nod. "... as always."

"If you hate me so much, then why do you keep begging for my attention?"

"Any attention these days is better than none. I don't think things are going to get better. I think they'll get worse until they kill us... or we kill each other."

He sighs and pulls me closer to him. "I fear it might be both."

I can smell that familiar vanilla and cedar-wood on his neck and I'm reminded of the man who I used to stay with in an upscale hotel in the city. He's a man who will be missed dearly.

"Why do you turn so cruel so quickly?"

"Why do you constantly taunt me?" He retorts.

I sigh. "You're not easy to be around. I feel like I'm alone in this place."

"You know I'm here. Isn't that enough for you?"

"It doesn't feel like you are."

I tuck my head under his chin as he runs his fingers through my hair gently. It's strange that such an angry man can be so gentle in the dark.

"Are you afraid of death?" I question.

"There's nothing to be afraid of."

"I can't think of anything more terrifying." I admit.

"My death doesn't scare me as much."

Then I get to thinking of Hanes dying. What would it be like to lose him? I hadn't thought of it much. I was so consumed and worried that I'd be killed, that I didn't even think him dying was a possibility. Come to think of it, his death is quite possible, certainly in this situation. Kai is angry with him. Whatever else is after us, I'm sure is angry with him too. He's their target, I'm just the dangling temptation.

I'm overcome with more emotion than I had intended on feeling. Losing him would mean losing the only other person on this earth that I care about. As much as he infuriates me and hurts me, he's the last living thing I have to love. He's the only person willing to care for me. He's the only person who loves me who I can love back.

Hanes takes notice to my sadness as he moves back to look at my expression as I start to tear up. Before I know it, he is wiping my tears again. Gently and silently.

"I don't want you to die."

"Don't worry about me." He consoles me.

"You're the last thing I have. The only person I have left." I feel more tears fall. "I don't want either of us to die..."

"Listen, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay? Nothing fucks with my baby." He kisses my wet cheeks.

I would smile at him calling me his baby, but I feel too weak to even try. He continues to wipe my tears but doesn't offer anything more. His silence becomes unnerving to me. His face has changed. His expression becomes something worrisome. He knows something that I don't.

"You know something." I observe. "You're not going to tell me what you're thinking, though, are you?"

He shakes his head. "It's not good."

"How bad is it?"

"It's not good." He repeats, clearly not wanting to elaborate more on what he's thinking about.

"Is something bad gonna happen to us?" I already can guess the answer but I want to hear him say it. I need to hear him say it to know.

"Very bad..." his voice grows weak and gives out. "This isn't going to end well."

More tears fall again as my face burns while the tears well up. Tears rise in his eyes too and I lean in to gently kiss his closed eyes as they fall.

I put my hand on his cheek and embrace him, completely overcome with, not fear, but grief. I know we're ending. I know one of us will be left worse than the other and I know that this is the end of my life as I know it. I don't want him to be torn from me, but I can tell now, that might very well be the case.

"I'm going to do whatever I can to stop it." I cry.

He shakes his head. "You can't."