AN.:// Chapter 6 has been edited

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Merlin returned home late one night. He looked very, very tired.
There were bags under his eyes and he looked shaken. The exact way Arthur looked after using the bus for the first time.

Which is why Arthur wasn't surprised when Merlin fell face first into his straw bed.
Interesting how beds hadn't evolved until the 21th century.
At least not much.
Medically they were now further than they had been in Salem, but Salem was also a major draw back from Camelot standards.
It seemed like a constant back and forth, really.

Anyhow, while Arthur stayed in Merlin's home, he had decided not to complain about the low life standards he now had to live with.
Which were really not that low, actually. Merlin's house was big enough for a whole family and while that wasn't fit for a king, it was certainly more than what Merlin had had in Ealdor.
What Arthur DID find odd though, was how he had somehow turned into Merlin's housewife.
Merlin was messier than Arthur had ever been.
But Merlin was the one with the job and Arthur the one with so much free time, he didn't know what else to do with it, so he cleaned up after Merlin.
He wasn't going to try and cook, because he was certain he would burn the house down, if he did.
Besides, he couldn't deny it was fascinating to see how Merlin let his magic do most of those chores.
The first few times had really thrown Arthur off guard. But since this was all a dream and all the magic was doing was cook for them, Arthur found himself intrigued by the possible uses of magic. And so he watched with childish fascination, while Merlin would groan into his pillows.
"Say, Merlin, how was your day?", Arthur finally asked, as he tried to figure out, if magic in Camelot could be used for similar things. He doubted it, after all his mind was making up these rules. It was still a nice thought.
"Hell.", Merlin muffled through the pillows.
"Did something happen?" It wasn't like Arthur to be this considerate. But he was also very bored. And Merlin was the only person here he dared to talk to. Perhaps he was the only person he WANTED to talk to, after their last conversation.
Merlin looked up at him. "You think after that discussion you had with Joseph where everyone learned about my sex life?
No. Of course not. Everything has been splendid."
He didn't sound accusing, but Merlin also didn't sound very happy. More like he was about to murder someone.

Arthur had wondered how long Merlin could be calm about the entire interaction.

Arthur frowned. "I don't understand why they can't mind their own business. It's not like you would want to sleep with THEM."
Merlin blinked, irritated at the wording. "They are bullies, Arthur. Nothing more. Bullies always find something to bully you with. At first it was my age, which they thought made me somehow less qualified for my job. Now it's my love life."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't bother you.", Arthur decided, as he saw how Merlin just sighed and began rolling up his arm. What for, he couldn't say. But that didn't matter.
Arthur did a double take. He was imagining things. He must be.

There were cuts on Merlin's arms. Scars from what looked like ropes, bruises from recent ones. His entire skin was red, and Arthur knew they couldn't be recent.
"What the hell happened?", he finally jumped to his feet, as he grabbed for Merlin's arm to look at it more closely.
It was a sickening sight. It looked like someone had rammed some needles in Merlin's arm.
Arthur had learned what needles are during their tour through the medical centre. That didn't help him at all. Arthur shivered.

"What always happens when someone discovers a secret of mine. It's no big deal, I've been through much worse."
He spoke as if that was normal. As if ANY of this was norma. As if he just had to bear that, like always.

The implied "remember when I died during the witch hunts?" hung heavily in the air.
Arthur to let go of his arm. A mix of anger and guilt rammed into him, unbidden and unexpected.
"It IS a big deal, Merlin. When did this start?"

No big deal? NO BIG DEAL?
Merlin looked at him oddly. "When did what start? The needles? I don't know... when were they invented again?"

Arthur sputtered in complete disbelieve. "When did people start HURTING you???"

Merlin frowned. "That's - . It happens all the time. In every century. In every country. In almost every life. It's not something that starts. More like something that stops once in a while."

Arthur had not been prepared for this conversation. For all the talks they've had, he had not seen this coming.
"Why would ... why would anyone hurt you?" Arthur couldn't even imagine it. Sure, he put Merlin in the stocks sometimes, but he never got HURT during those times! Did he?
Suddenly, Arthur was starting to feel sick.
" They have all kinds of reasons. If it's not about love, it's about magic.
If it's not about medicine and how to use it, it's about the way I look or talk or what I say about the law.
Whatever floats their boat, really.
I've been hurt in Camelot too, by the way. I have been imprisoned for helping friends, I have been tortured for information, I have been almost killed for protecting you or even your father, I have been poisoned, stabbed, and all those things. I'm not saying this is okay, Arthur. Don't get me wrong.
This is the prize I pay to be myself."

Arthur's eyes widened in utter horror. "The prize I pay to be myself" ricocheting in his head.
God, just what had happened to Merlin?
And pray tell, what the hell was Arthur doing here?
Here he was, the cause for all the pain Merlin ever endured and he hadn't even asked what the consequences had been for Merlin.

Arthur paled. "Why didn't you -"

"Why I don't say anything? Because I know you, Arthur! You would go out there and start a war or something! The you NOW that is.
I'm telling you I'm fine.
They already think you're crazy and under the same mental affliction they accuse me of.
I fear they'll get you to the Narrenturm. That's an asylum, Arthur! You have no idea what they will do to YOU, if you go there. 
I'm immortal. Medicine, sicknesses, they don't work on me. Tomorrow, these will be nothing but scars.
And I'm a physician, I know what they are doing and I can help myself.
I have to let them do this, otherwise they won't let me be a doctor anymore! I do this for half an hour a day and then I can keep doing my job.
I'm under the protection of the king.
If you go there, they will do worse. They will lock you up or execute you, until the laws are changed.
So don't be so selfish, please."

"- Selfish.", Arthur repeated, sending Merlin a pointed look.

Merlin's arms dropped to his side as he looked at Arthur directly.
"You really have no idea, do you?", he asked and he looked so incredibly tired.
"Arthur, you are no King here. You may be an honorable man, but no one here will listen to you.
They will kill you and I cannot let that happen. I don't want to see you hurt, so I dare you, don't put me in that position."

Arthur had expected to be angry, but he found himself sympathetic, instead.
"Can you blame me?", he asked. This was not okay. Surely, Merlin realized that. "You don't want me to get hurt, but I'm selfish, when I want you save?"

But Merlin's shoulders sagged as he relaxed slightly at those words.
Merlin stilled, head hanging low.
"No."

Once again, they were silent and didn't look at each other. Eventually, Arthur got up and searched for Merlin's bandages. He had been here so long, he knew every cabin inside and out.
He came back with a bandage and a salve which Merlin eyed skeptically. But Arthur must have grabbed the right one, because he wasn't complaining.
So Arthur sat down beside him and grabbed for Merlin's hand.
This was, where his apprenticeship in Salem helped him for the first time. He cleaned the wound with saltwater and then salved Merlin up, while the physician watched him do it in silence.
Once Arthur had bandaged the arm up, he reached for the other, expecting Merlin to stop him.
But when their eyes met, Merlin exhaled a shuddering breath. For a moment, he seemed to consider, but then he pulled his shirt over his head.

Arthur almost let all the utensils fall to the ground.
Merlin's chest and back were covered in nicks and scars. It were more scars than anything, but there was a long, fresh gash on his back that had bled through the bandages that someone had put on them. Badly. They had done a shabby job, even Arthur could tell.

Arthur bit his lip to not comment on the sight. For a moment, he closed his eyes and tried not to hit something in his flaring anger, before he carefully extracted the bandage from the wound, where it had dried into the wound.

Merlin didn't even make a sound, when the crust went off with it, while Arthur was hissing in a breath. He repeated the procedure he had done on the arm and hated that the other didn't look any better.

For the first time since Arthur had appeared in this time, he realized just how invasive he was being.
He had come here, into Merlin's world, outed him in front of his colleagues, had expected shelter and for Merlin to provide for him and he hadn't wasted a second thinking of the consequences that this had for Merlin. Arthur didn't know the laws in this world, but he hadn't even stopped to think about them.

"I missed you.", Merlin said quietly, catching Arthur off guard. He was so quiet in fact, that Arthur almost missed it. Was he hearing things?
"You did?", he asked and couldn't, for the life of him, imagine why. Arthur wasn't even the person who Merlin had been waiting for. He wasn't yet the king that Merlin had described to him.
He wasn't even the man that Merlin loved.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know you're not ready yet. I'm probably a bit overworked."
He must have gotten nostalgic, while Arthur bandaged him up. Just how often had Arthur done this for him? How often WOULD he do this for him?
Regardless of his feelings for Merlin, Arthur knew that he owed Merlin more than patching things up. He should have prevented this.

Arthur shook his head. "No, Merlin. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. I've come here for selfish reasons and just expected you to take care of me. I've given you nothing in return.
You suffer, because I'm here. You don't deserve any of this."
With a shuddering breath, Arthur shifted his attention to Merlin's other arm. When he was done, he send Merlin a look.

Merlin bit his lip, reading his thoughts, apparently.
"If you're going to hug me now, I will kiss you.", he warned.

Arthur opened his mouth, then closed it. Unsure of what to do now. Hugs were the only thing he could give Merlin as some form of compensation. They were already passed the walls that Arthur had build up around himself in the real world. He couldn't go further than that.

Merlin sighed. "You know, you're sending me mixed signals, right now.
Do you want me to kiss you?"

For all that was holy, Arthur found himself speechless. Paralyzed, in fact. Merlin expected an answer?

Merlin blinked. "You need to answer me, Arthur. I can handle rejection, but if you're uncertain, I might do something you will hate."

Arthur blinked. He couldn't answer. He simply couldn't. He wanted to, but for the first time, he felt uncertain. Merlin DESERVED to be happy. For everything he suffered, there was nothing Arthur wouldn't give him, if Merlin demanded it of him. But Merlin wasn't demanding this of him.
He was demanding an answer.

"When will I fall in love with you?", he said instead.
'We both know it will happen.' And in here, in a hut where they had both lived together for only a couple weeks, after their time together in Salem and the promise of the life they could live in 2020, Arthur could almost imagine it. Almost.

Merlin hiccuped a laugh.

Arthur was waiting. Waiting for something to change. He didn't know how long he had been waiting, maybe he had just begun, but he found himself expecting his feelings for Merlin to change.
To become what this future was expecting of him.

Merlin leaned over. "I don't know. You tell me."
The unspoken question sounded like 'is it now?'
Merlin's eyes flicked to Arthur's lips and his intentions were more than clear. He demanded an answer still, for a rejection still hung in the air and Arthur wanted to say something.
Wanted to reject him. But then he saw the scars, saw the honesty in his eyes and he felt guilty for giving Merlin hope, on top of all the stuff that was already happening to him.

Arthur averted his face. "I'm sorry." He didn't need to explain it any further.

Merlin leaned away, not even looking upset. "Yeah, I thought so."

Arthur was contradicted in his heart. None of it made sense. This should be easier. He knew for a fact this should be easier. Why was this hurting HIM? Why did he feel like he was getting his heart broken?
HE was the one rejecting MERLIN for goodness sake! And he had every reason to!

Arthur couldn't leave him with NOTHING. The rejection must hurt him, surely. Arthur had to do something!
But hugging would lead to kissing, Merlin had told him that. But that was too much... Or was it? It was just a simple kiss. Surely that couldn't be so bad. Surely, Merlin knew that Arthur didn't feel the same.
In a moment of indecisiveness, Arthur swirled back around and cupped Merlin's jaw with his hands, pulling him back in his personal space. What was he doing?
What was he about to do?
He didn't know. His heart was beating so loud in his chest that it drowned down every clear though he's ever had.
Arthur froze and Merlin blinked up at him through dark lashes. His eyes so blue with the little golden specks, as he waited for Arthur's next move.
Arthur straight up panicked.

Merlin seemed to sense his distress, as he searched Arthur's eyes and found something there, anchored himself. He covered Arthur's hands with his own and smiled at him, encouraging with his eyes to go on.
Arthur leaned in, as his heart pretty much screamed. This was too close for him. And he knew it wouldn't ever be enough for Merlin. But this was how they could meet in the middle.
Arthur leaned his forehead against Merlin's and closed his eyes.
"I really am sorry, Merlin."

Next thing he knew, the room was suddenly colder, and the ringing in his ear replaced with a punishing ticking sound.
Arthur let the clock fall to the floor and marched out the room, not allowing himself to think about what he had just done.

------------------

Arthur decided not to visit the clockroom again, until he felt ready to confront Merlin about it.

For a moment there, Arthur had considered to kiss Merlin. It had been brief and incredibly stupid. His actions had been born of guilt and pity and none of that was fair to Merlin.
Even if he was just a dream. That was hardly okay.

Arthur should have left the day he had talked with Joseph. He should have just gone after he was given what he had come there for.
Even though that wasn't the discussion that left him more confident in his own beliefs. It had been every discussion with Merlin.
And it was good that Arthur had seen what his carelessness could do to people.

Arthur was pale, out of breath and worst of all, divided in his feelings. So much for his certainty in his own beliefs.

What did this say about him? What did this say about his feelings for his manservant? The real one? Not the imaginary one who suffered so much for Arthur? Had Arthur been giving Merlin false hope?

Facing the real version of him now made Arthur, once again, unsure. It was hard to separate the two. Even harder was it to forget how much closer they were in those dreams.
But Merlin would always want more from Arthur than what Arthur could give. In the dream, it was love, where Arthur could only allow himself friendship. In the real world, it was friendship, where Arthur could only allow distance.
Or did Merlin love him already? It was a possibility that Arthur couldn't dismiss.
'Benefit of the doubt, Arthur.', he reminded himself. 'Benefit of the doubt. Those dreams have nothing in common with reality. Merlin is no sorcerer. Magic doesn't work like that.'
So, Arthur was back to treating Merlin oddly again.
Oddly, meant that he began dressing himself on random occasions again. When he wouldn't handle looking at Merlin, while he was vulnerable and emotionally more constipated than normal. It made him fidgety, sweaty and nervous.
Also, all those hunts to find random sorcerers that invaded the city took their toll on him. Because Arthur's view on magic had slowly begun to change, despite his better judgment.
He couldn't help but at least consider the dreams.
For once, Arthur didn't take Merlin with him on missions.
He didn't want Merlin to see what happened to sorcerers anymore. He didn't him to see how Arthur followed his duty, because he didn't have any other choice.
That was why Merlin wasn't there, when Arthur had to arrest Tom the Blacksmith. And he had to.
Like back when he had found Morgana helping the druid boy, Arthur was surrounded by knights who believed him to follow the rules and Arthur HAD to abide by the rules. How could he expect his men to follow him once he was king, if he didn't even listen to his own father?
There was more at risk than one life, when the kingdom fell apart in it's simplest structures.
Arthur hated that when Morgana and him were discussing this with his father, he had to take his Uther's side.
He hated that Uther took his words and twisted them like a knife against Morgana who was only trying to defend the father of her best friend.
He hated that the lump of Gold he had found was proof enough to condemn a man to death.
He hated that as soon as he tried to reason against his father, suddenly his word held no meaning anymore.
And he hated that his father condemned a man guilty, before the trial was held. That was not just. That was not fair.
That was Salem all over again.

He wished Morgana or him had pointed that out.
But against the wrath and hate of his father, there was no antidote.
Fact was, that his father was right about Tauren, the man who the blacksmith allegedly conspired with. He was a dangerous man who had allies left and right. And he had to be caught and judged.
That didn't mean Tom should die for it.
Arthur wished so desperately, he would just find one man, one sorcerer, (or sorceress) who could prove to him that magic could be used for good.
In THIS world. If that ever happened to be Merlin, even better. Someone he knew and trusted, at least. Even in secret. Then, at least, Arthur would have certainty.
Arthur closed his eyes. Tom was not dead yet. He had to prepare himself for the trial. Find a way to get Tom out of that hole he had fallen into. Arthur had to convince his father to reconsider, somehow.

---------------------

Arthur and Merlin were in his room, when a group of men was escorted to the Square. They were to be executed. All of them accused to conspire with Tauren.
Merlin watched them, not listening to a word that Arthur was saying. Instead pointing it out with an offhand comment.
It irritated Arthur who had been hoping he could just ignore the noise.
He couldn't, not really.
"Yes, Merlin.", he confirmed, slightly annoyed by his latest mental conflicts.
"By order of the king?"

'Who else, you idiot?'
"They committed a serious crime.", he said instead. Trying to put on his princely facade in front of Merlin. Arthur did everything to not look into his eyes for a while. Dream Merlin and real Merlin were not the same and this world was not the same as the one showed to him in the clockroom. Arthur needed to remember his place. His own and Merlin's.

"Giving a man a bed for the night?!"

Arthur decided, maybe he should push it. Figure out real Merlin's stance on magic. His friend had been a sorcerer. Either Merlin had too much empathy, or he knew more than he let on.
"Not a man. A sorcerer."
He waited for Merlin to say something against that. That a sorcerer as well was a man. That sorcerers could be good. And that giving one a bed would simply be kindness, but Merlin did no such thing.
"Maybe they didn't know that."
Oddly enough, that stung. How could Merlin betray his own kind like that? How could he talk like that was the only thing that bothered him?
Yet, his comment was right. Not everyone knew who Tauren was. Surely the man didn't tell every living person of his plans, otherwise he wouldn't have come as far as he had.
People wouldn't just report someone for openly advertising for magic. And if they would, then maybe they REALLY needed to consider their stance on magic.
Arthur felt unreasonably angry, despite the logic behind Merlin's words. It made him feel... stupid. And outraged at what Merlin was perhaps hiding. Or not hiding. Arthur was confusing them again, so he lashed out.

"It's not for you to question my father's actions. Is that understood?"
Especially not, when you're going to pretend this doesn't affect you at all. Arthur bit his lip. Did Merlin understand why he said those were his father's actions? 'They are not mine, Merlin. Talk to me.' Merlin didn't.
"Yes, Sire."

Arthur dismissed him.
One day later, Tom was confirmed to have tried to escape. The guards had killed him.
The blacksmith was dead. And everyone who knew him devastated.
Arthur felt horrible. He stared at the wall in his rooms, trying to grasp what this meant.
On his table lay all the proof and arguments he had written in the night to defend Tom's case. Merlin's argument being one of them.
He stared at his own writing, at the expensive parchment and felt his anger once again welling over.
He grabbed the pieces and threw them in the fire.
He hadn't even gotten the fucking CHANCE!

Then he remembered that Guinevere was now parentless. Her father had been a sorcerer, which meant there was a great chance his father would accuse her by default.
Arthur closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If he couldn't help Tom, maybe at least he couldn't help her.
And so he sat down again, took a new parchment and wrote a detailed explanation why Guinevere was clearly innocent.
She had been accused of magic once and Uther had dismissed the thought then. Knowing that she had been wrongly accused once would either make this harder or easier for Arthur to get through with his father.
He hoped it was the latter.

It was the only thing he could do now.

----------------------

He knocked on Merlin's door. Or rather Gaius' door.
Whatever, he knew that the physician wasn't here at this time of the day, so he hoped he'd find both Merlin and Guinevere here.
Those two were close. In fact, Arthur didn't think there was anyone closer to Guinevere than Merlin, except for perhaps Morgana.
And Morgana was unapproachable at the moment in her anger and defiance.

It made sense that Guinevere would be here.
"Sire!", Gwen said, as she saw him and she stood up in a respectful manner. Like servants normally did.
Arthur tried to ignore the sudden reminder that she was the other factor in Merlin's and his apparent open relationship in the future. He would not focus on this right now.
Good thing he was quite good at hiding his nerves.

"Guinevere. I ... want you to know that your job is safe. And that your home is yours for life. I guarantee you that. I know that under these circumstances it's not much but, erm, anything you want, anything you need, all you have to do is ask."
God that was formal bullshit. 'Leave, Arthur leave.'
Arthur was about to, but turned back once more. She deserved more than that.
"I'm sorry."
'Finally something sensible, you block of -'

"Thank you, Sire.", Gwen said and tilted her head in surprise and confusion.

Arthur nodded uncomfortably and left. He couldn't tell her about the case he had tried to build up. It would only devastate her to know they'd had allies. That the trials hadn't been completely hopeless.
All it would do was put Arthur in a better light and he didn't feel like he deserved that.
He thought about future Merlin's wounds and shook his head.

...

The next thing Arthur did, was get Morgana out the dungeons as soon as he heard of her's and Uther's fight. Nothing but emotional work, today, he thought bitterly.
Morgana had been right, but all her anger had done was put her at odds with the king. Arthur didn't know how to handle that. How to handle his own emotions, as once again, he was torn between what he thought to be right and what he was taught to do.

The issue solved itself days later, when Morgana saved Uther's life and killed Tauren herself.

As Arthur heard what had happened, he almost had a heart attack. He was too young to loose a father. And decidedly too young to be king.

-----------------------

And then there was Arthur's sudden desire to learn about magic.
Especially one thing he had neglected for too long, despite his encounters with the Griffin and the Unicorn.
Magical creatures.

Then Sir Bedivere died on the latest hunting trip. Bitten by the questing beast and Arthur realized just how much he had let the topic slide.

To discuss the issue, Merlin, the knights, and Arthur returned to Camelot to speak to Uther and Gaius. Who, surely, would know more about this creature. About magical creatures in general, hopefully.

While Gaius explained what the questing beast was and casually mentioned how it was seen the day Arthur's mom died, Arthur found himself irritated with the entire concept. 
'Come on, why would such a beast appear because someone's mom died? 
People died all the time. Surely not every time someone died a questing beast appeared?!'

If they didn't have to protect the people in Camelot, then Arthur would have loved a thorough interrogation of Gaius' knowledge on magical beasts. As it was, he didn't have time for that.

And should Arthur worry that Morgana ran outside, barely dressed to shout at him to stay in Camelot? Being all hysteric and on the verge of tears? Because she was afraid he would die?
It gave Arthur a strange de ja vu.
Morgana was no sorcerer. And she certainly couldn't see the future. Not before her own death at least and only if one of the clocks responded to her, meaning, if she had broken Uther's rules too.
No. Surely she didn't make the same mistakes that Arthur did. And if, she'd certainly have different dreams than he did.
His nonsense was ARTHUR'S nonsense. It had nothing to do with Morgana.
And that would be, granted the dreams were to be trusted.

Besides, Arthur would die from a dragon, according to those dreams. He had seen it. This beast looked nothing like that dragon.

That however, didn't stop him from being scratched by the beast. Even though he managed to kill it, somehow.
Had Arthur been conscious enough to think, he would have checked if Merlin was okay. If he had felt it's death. If he was hurting, because Arthur was fulfilling his duty.
Long story short: Arthur survived. Thanks to Gaius of course.
And all he could remember from his dream like state was a soft voice whispering to him. Telling him what a great king he would one day become.
It was almost amusing, teasing Guinevere after he woke up. Then he remembered that he was destined to fall in love with Gwen. According to the clockroom.
Maybe Gwen already liked him.
Arthur didn't, he decided yet again and was too tired and exhausted to hold that against himself.
He had almost died. He could afford to linger in the warm feeling of being valued and loved for once.
Hell knew, his father wouldn't have shown him that same care.

------------------------

That same evening, his good mood turned sour.

Merlin had come to his chambers to talk to him. And really, the audacity with this man... Arthur felt almost fond of it.

"You still haven't got it yet, have you? I decide when we need to talk."
Arthur had almost died. Surely Merlin wouldn't use this moment for something stupid, like a confession or something, right?
Arthur wasn't sure right now was the best time for him to hear about magic. But maybe it was the only time Merlin would ever bring up the courage.

"Not today."
There was something in his voice that signaled that this was serious.

"I sometimes wonder if you know who I am."
Arthur tried to keep the conversation on their base line. Let Merlin retreat whenever he needed.
"Oh, I know who you are."
"Good." Somehow, Arthur found, Merlin probably knew him better than anyone else. He knew him without the title. As a simple man. As simple as a crown prince could be. And he wasn't even talking about the dream version.

"You're a prat. And a royal one."

Arthur wondered if he should hit Merlin or laugh. Or both. Both seemed appropriate. He decided to laugh.
"Are you ever going to change, Merlin."
Probably, if the clock was any indication. Not by much. He would grow and learn, but at heart, Merlin would always be the same insolent idiot who liked to insult his prince.

"No, you'd get bored." There was a small pause, before Merlin looked back up at Arthur, seriousness hardening his young glance.
"But promise me this, if you ever get another servant, don't get a bootlicker."
What? Arthur had never even considered getting another servant. Merlin might be an idiot and clumsy on top, but he was as close to a friend as Arthur had ever allowed anyone to be.
Had he ever hinted otherwise?
This... this weird bond they had... was more important to Arthur than any other services Merlin could provide.

"If this is you trying to leave your job ..."

"No." The answer came quickly. "I'm happy to be your servant. Till the day I die."

Okay. Arthur stared. This was a love confession, wasn't it?
There was no other explanation for this. The servant longest in Arthur's care had stayed for three months, until Merlin came along.
No servant would lay their life down for Arthur. Not so many times and not so willingly. And they would definitely not devote their entire life to him. Not when they weren't – devoted.
If this was how the real Merlin thought, how did this translate to the immortal Merlin?
"Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. Other times -", Arthur shook his head. What the hell was going on inside that thick head of Merlin's? To just declare something like that. If Arthur didn't know better, he'd think Merlin was about to get himself into deadly trouble.
To be fair, to declare these feelings in front of Arthur WAS dangerous.

"Well, I know you. And you're a great warrior. One day, you'll be a great king."
"That's very kind of you.", Arthur said calmly, hoping to avert the dreaded topic in his mind, but he was panicking anyway. If he denied Merlin now, would that mean he'd loose him?

"But you must learn to listen as well as you fight."

Arthur blinked. That was unexpected. 'Okay?'
"Any pointers?" He still waited, staring holes into Merlin's weirdly prepared posture. Was he prepared for a rejection?

"No. That's all. Just ... don't be a prat."
Merlin left, leaving Arthur behind and all confused with thoughts that didn't really add up.
Seriously though, was Merlin about to die?

------------------------

Merlin didn't, in fact, die.
In fact, he lived long enough to inspect the hidden treasure in the vaults of Camelot with Uther, Gaius and Arthur.
The hidden treasure belonging to no other than Cornelius Sigan himself. The one who had created the clockroom.

And Arthur would have loved to learn more about the man and his works. However, there were no books left in the libraries that provided any answers and besides, Geoffrey had stared at him like a confused parrot, when Arthur had walked in.
Like Arthur didn't READ. He just didn't visit the library, when he could just ASK Geoffrey for the books. He hadn't this time and for some reason that upset the old librarian.

Arthur had to admit, he got a bit distracted with Merlin after that. It was a bit hilarious, really.
Merlin had always acted like the worst servant Arthur had ever had. And that wasn't really a problem for Arthur himself. But for the public eye, it couldn't be very good, if Arthur couldn't even control his own servant.
Merlin was insolent and rude, he ignored the differences of their status blatantly and overall acted like he'd rather be anywhere else.
Uther had shown fondness for Merlin's loyalty and was overall being very lenient with their arrangement.
But if Merlin didn't start appreciating his job any time soon, then Arthur would be forced to do something about it.

Arthur's entire act towards Cedric, the man who was so eager to have Merlin's job, was really more to show Merlin how it was done.
He hadn't expected them to FIGHT. He hadn't expected Merlin to be so rash and jealous. Though, as he watched, he figured he shouldn't really be surprised.
Merlin had TOLD him not to get a bootlicker. And what else was Cedric, really?

Interestingly enough, instead of proving Arthur that he deserved his job, Merlin began antagonizing the poor Cedric, and then insulted Arthur to his face and slacked off even more.
Cedric said something about Merlin being overworked, but that didn't sound right. Merlin was the type to just disappear, if he was upset. He wouldn't sleep in actual horse dung.
Something had happened between the two, but Arthur didn't need to know the details.

Merlin needed to do his job more than anything and he needed to focus on that and distance himself from his strange obsession.

So the prince sacked Merlin. At least for a couple of days. It was amusing really, to see how outraged Merlin was.
Even though it was usually Merlin who complained he didn't get enough rest. It was always him who asked for a day off. But now that Arthur was ready to give him one ....
And then he accused Cedric of manipulating Arthur AGAIN. That he were enchanted by Cornelius Sigan. It would be funny, if it wasn't so condescending.
Arthur had had enough and put him in the dungeons.

Who would have thought Cedric was actually just out for the treasure in the vaults? And only acted so nice, to get Arthur's keys.
It was almost more annoying to realize Merlin was right than it had been amusing to watch.

And it was true, Cedric had been cursed by Cornelius Sigan himself.
When the Gargoyles attacked the castle there was no time to apologize to Merlin. In fact, Arthur was so distracted by the attack, he had forgotten to let him out.

Then Gaius warned that these monsters were immortal. And suddenly, Arthur was afraid. Because of course, he didn't have the sword.

There was no time to search for it. There was no time risking his life on the off chance that the sword was here somewhere. Surely, if it was real, then Merlin had hidden it somewhere far far from Camelot.
And he couldn't get OUT of the castle right now. Least of all with Merlin.
He had to get everyone to safety. And that meant locking them INSIDE the castle.
Especially Guinevere whom he hadn't known was so ridiculously brave to get out the castle for more water. For the injured. She risked her life for the injured.
For the first time, Arthur noticed a change.
What Arthur saw there in her, were the actions of a queen, not a servant. That was the courage of a knight, not that of a blacksmith's daughter.
Arthur blinked himself out of it.

He cared for Gwen. He wanted her safe. He hadn't even looked twice, before he went to help her. It was only his job.
Maybe it had been her words, when he was sleeping from the questing beast attack that had lulled him in, maybe it was the guilt he still felt about her father, but he felt something bloom in himself for the maid. Something that THIS certainly wasn't the time for.

So many people would swear vengeance, in her stead. Guinevere probably hadn't even considered it.
Arthur was suddenly certain he could admire her strength. Could learn from her actions.
Soon enough, he went against his father's orders, to get the people into the citadel who hadn't made it yet.
In doing so, he was left outside, alone with the creatures that wanted his head. With the creatures that could not be killed.

Arthur tried his best, but he didn't last long, before one of the creatures knocked him unconscious.

He felt dizzy, delirious. The world around him faded in and out and in his stupor, he thought he saw a scene before him that made no sense.
Or was he back in the clockroom?
Merlin would be in the dungeons right now. Why was he standing there? Surely it was just his imagination.
Arthur tried to shake himself out of it, but all he heard were voices, making little sense, fading in and out of his senses.
"But it must hurt so much to be put upon, so overlooked, when all the while you have such power.", he heard a foreign voice say, Cedric's voice, altered beyond recognition.

"That's the way it has to be."

Arthur's mind had trouble connecting the sentences. What had to be what?
"Does it? You're young, Merlin. Look inside yourself. You have yet to discover your true power. I can help you. Think, Merlin. To have the world appreciate your greatness. To have Arthur know you for what you are. "
'To know you for what you are. To know you for what you are. To know you for what you are.'
"Who are you, Merlin?" Arthur muttered to himself.

(...) "You'd rather be a servant."

'To the day I die', Arthur finished the sentence in his head.
He passed out after that. When he woke up, he decided that that dream had been caused by his concussion.

--------------------

Arthur had never intended to keep Merlin away for long. But Merlin wouldn't believe that.

Before Arthur found a different way to get Merlin his job back, he decided to talk to Gaius, instead.

'I went to the clockroom that my father had forbidden me to enter and secretly used magical items ever since', was not something he could just bring up.
But maybe Gaius could tell him more about Sigan.

It turned out that Gaius knew little more than Arthur. Cornelius Sigan had been a man who used magic to gain immortality. That much Arthur had figured out by himself.
It explained why he would create something like the clockroom. To live eternal lives. On the other hand, 'Emrys' in those dreams WAS immortal.

"Aren't there sorcerers who ARE immortal? Why didn't he manage it?"

Gaius looked at Arthur very closely then. "Cornelius Sigan is the strongest sorcerer who ever lived, Arthur. If he hasn't reached immortality, then I don't know who might have. His soul IS immortal, is not?"

Arthur paused to consider that. He didn't think living an eternal life inside a stone was all that worthwhile. "Have you ever heard of a sorcerer named Emrys?"

Gaius almost knocked over his drink and inhaled a deep breath. "Wherever have you heard THAT name?"

Arthur blinked a couple times. "Have you heard of him?"

The physician hesitated. "Sire, Emrys is nothing but a myth. A legend that the druids speak of. Nothing more. The druids have prophesied many things."

"But he is immortal, is he not?"

"What makes you say that?"

Arthur wasn't sure how to say it without making Gaius sound incompetent. "Well, his name means immortal. I figured thad if he lived, he would be what the name suggested."

Gaius swallowed, but he didn't side glance at Merlin's door, which Arthur found to be a relief.
"Well, if his name suggests it, then he might be. If he does exist, then he would certainly be more powerful than Sigan, for sure."

"Would he -", Arthur paused. "Do you think he would put his soul into an object too, to live that long? Do you think, he could create a world inside that object and let other people see what's inside? Could he manipulate the person who went in there to see?"

"Sire?"

Arthur looked up and met Gaius' eyes. "I'm sorry, I was just..."

"You had a concussion, my boy. Try not to think too much on it."

"Yeah... sure." That had not been an answer.

Because one thing was clear. If Cornelius Sigan had invented the clockroom to become immortal, then his goal had not been for Arthur to make magic legal.
If Emrys, however, had USED the clockroom...
But when did Emrys exist? And Guinevere's clock was in there, too.
But Arthur KNEW that Emrys clock had existed for a long time, since his grandmother had told him of it.
Guinevere's might as well have just manifested, once Arthur entered the room for the first time.
He had no idea. It didn't make sense. It didn't add up.