AVANTAE ROMIREZ

I opened my eyes slowly, my vision was partially clouded. I rubbed my eyes then opened them again. This time, I could see everything clearly.

I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I was in the infirmary laying on a small bed. I swung my legs over the edge, a small exhale leaving my lips.

I could remember throwing up but it wasn't the kebabs I ate. It was some type of dark blood. I had no idea why but I felt fine now. I jumped off the bed and made my way outside the infirmary.

The walk back to the pack house was peaceful. I smiled as I looked at the kids playing in the grass. They were carefree and had no worries in the world. When I was younger, I couldn't wait to grow up, to see what the adult life was like.

Oh how I regret saying that. The adult life is not the bed of roses I imagined.

Once inside the pack house, I headed straight for the kitchen, the scent of breakfast already teasing my senses. I could almost taste the warm waffles and perfectly cooked eggs. My stomach growled in anticipation.

But the moment I stepped into the kitchen, my breath caught in my throat.

Dezin was kissing the life out of Jay. It was like a battle between lips and tongue. I stepped back slowly ensuring not to make a sound. I didn't want to interrupt them. I guess breakfast will have to wait.

I walked upstairs to my room and quietly closed the door behind me. Letting out a deep sigh, I stood there for a moment, just staring at the door. It had been three weeks since everything happened, but the weight of it was still with me. Everything still lingered refusing to fade.

I decided to take a shower, by the time I'm finished the kitchen should be available. I replayed the scene in my head of Dezin and Jay. Can one be so infatuated that they chose the kitchen of all places to make out? I guess it was their mate bond.

Once inside the shower, the dark thoughts started to consume me. I was alone, both physically and emotionally. I had no one to love. The one person who I wanted the most didn't chose me. Sometimes I wonder if maybe, if I was better, she would've chosen me. Chosen us.

But those were just useless thoughts.

Thoughts I try my best to ignore. But they come back anyway, creeping in when the world is quiet. She wasn't coming back, I knew that. Deep down, I think I don't want her to.

Lina had always warned me. She saw things I refused to see, pointed out the cracks I kept trying to fill with excuses. But I was stubborn. I let my feelings blind me, convinced myself that love could fix everything, even when everything was already falling apart.

And in the end? Look where it got me. Broken. Alone. Sitting with memories that feel more like regrets now. I should've listened.

But it's too late for that.

Now, all I have to do is move on and continue living. Life goes on, and it always will.

I finally stepped out of the shower about ten minutes later. I wrapped a towel around my waist and left the bathroom. I had no idea what to do today for fun. Maybe I could ask Lina to watch some movies with me. Either that or help out with the newborns at the infirmary.

A soft knock on the door brought me back from my thoughts.

"Who is it?", I asked softly. It wasn't Lina for sure because she would've barged in already.

"It's me, Javai", he replied and a small smile appeared on my lips. He was a cool guy and the time we spent chained up in the Alpha's dungeon, we developed a little bond.

Javai was tall and muscular. To some he seemed scary but he was a softie at heart. He had a bundle of black locks for hair and a pair of deep brown eyes. His favorite type of movies were horror and for music, rap and hip hop was his jam.

"Can I come in? I want to see how you're doing."

"Give me one sec", I shouted before running to my closet. I quickly pulled on a pair of loose pants and a t-shirt. I glanced in the mirror at my reflection before turning towards the door.

"You can come in."

The door was pushed open and he stepped in. I didn't want to think on it but my mind betrayed me.

He looked really good.

His locks were tied up in a bun, not a single strand out of place. His hairline was neatly lined up and his eyebrows were carefully trimmed. He was dressed in a pair of black pants and a blue button up shirt. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, exposing his tanned, muscular arms.

I mentally slapped myself when I realized that I was staring for way too long.

"How are you feeling?", he asked, his expression unreadable.

I shrugged. "Not bad I guess."

"Your hair is all over the place", he joked, a smile gracing his lips.

"I know, I just showered", I replied before taking a seat on the bed.

He stood there for a while longer before taking a seat beside me.

We sat there shoulder to shoulder, none of us uttering a word. I didn't know why but his presence felt so good. I wasn't gay or anything but my body felt calm being this close to him.

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?", he asked after some time had passed.

"I remember throwing up and ending up in the infirmary. I don't know why I threw up blood and why it was black", I answered, my fingers brushing over the silk of my pants.

He turned and looked at me. "I know why."

My eyes met his instantly.

"Why? Am I sick? Am I going to die?", the questions flew out before I could stop them.

He only half smiled before turning away.

"No, it's none if that. What happened to you, happened to me many years ago."

He had my full attention. I wanted to know everything.

"It happened to me when I was mated. I still remember like it was yesterday", he said next, his eyes staring straight ahead.

I touched his hand, ushering him to continue.

"When I first met her, I fell in love instantly. As a panther shifter, finding your mate was very rare so I treasured her more than anything. In the first few weeks of us being together everything was great. Until she changed completely."

I stared at him, my mind taking in all the information. He had never mentioned having a mate. But I couldn't blame him. He was trying to forget and move on.

He continued. "She started cheating. And it messed me up because I gave her everything I had. I tried my best to be perfect for her, yet it wasn't good enough. I confronted her about it but she kept lying and lying. I had my last straw when she slept with a very close friend of mine."

I started rubbing circular motions on his hand. It was meant to be a soothing technique but I couldn't help but notice the slight tingles in my body.

I brushed it off before meeting his eyes.

"I couldn't handle the betrayal and I killed him."

I bit my lip really hard. I didn't expect him to say that but I wasn't judging.

"After that, I rejected her. Breaking our bond was painful, but staying with her hurt even more. She wouldn't accept the rejection so I found a witch and asked her to break our bond. The day that happened, I threw up blood."

My movements stilled. I knew the conclusion he was drawing but I didn't want to believe it.

"So you're saying that...", I trailed off, my eyes wandering to the floor.

He confirmed. "Your mate has broken the bond between you two."

I didn't know how to feel or even react. I was numb and blank. I stared at the wall ahead, my thoughts jumbled up.

"Don't overthink it Avan. If she loved you, she wouldn't have hurted you like that. Someone better is out there for you, and you will find that person."

I looked at him, his eyes held nothing but sincerity in them. We both were victims of heartbreak. Both of us trying to piece our hearts back together.

"Someone is out there for you too", I said, giving him a genuine smile. He returned it, his hand reaching out to caress my cheek.

The action caught me off-guard. My hand was still on his and I couldn't force myself to remove it. My breathing was coming out in short pants. Our eyes were staring into each other's souls. I didn't know what he was thinking and I wish I could read minds.

"AVAN!"

I shrieked and pulled away just in time for my room door to burst open. Lina came in, her eyes going back and forth between me and Javai. I licked my lips, praying and hoping she doesn't find anything suspicious.

"Are you okay?", she asked before holding out her hands for me.

I sighed in relief.

I got up and engulfed her in a tight hug. Her baby bump was pushing against me and I grinned. I couldn't wait to be an uncle.

"I'm fine", I replied after pulling away.

She smiled but then it quickly vanished. "Avan, there's something I need to-

"-Javai already told me,"I cut her off.

She glanced at Javai then back at me. "I'm so sorry about everything."

I cupped her cheeks. "You have nothing to be sorry about her. Daija made her choice and you know what? I'm happy that our bond is broken. I can finally move on and find happiness."

Her smile returned once more. "That's the spirit of my strong, handsome brother."

I smiled brightly. It was time to write a new chapter in my life.

One that doesn't involve Daija.

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