The gas swarms around my feet, ethereal and flowing. At first it confused me, but now it's worrying. It was originally just a thin film covering the floor, but it has grown. Tendrils of it sneak up into the air, moving higher and higher. I keep moving, but the smoke is everywhere. It is a pastel purple, one that would be almost pretty if it wasn't trying to kill me. Then again, isn't everything in this arena?

It keeps growing higher and higher, until it reaches my waist. The occasional puff shoots up higher, getting dangerously close to my face. I am able to avoid most of them, but not all. One reaches my mouth, and as it does so I have to cough. I inhale sharply, taking the gas into my system. At first it doesn't do anything, but soon I start to feel the effects. The edges of my vision start to blur, only slightly at first and then an insane amount. I feel the darkness start to seep in, like water filtering through sand. Suddenly it flickers in all at once, and I can feel a sudden warmth reach up and wrap itself around me in a cozy embrace. I shut my eyes and let the mist claim me, feeling my body go limp and fall to the floor.

~

I wake up in a room, one that is completely empty. The walls are white, splattered with what seems like black paint. Is this really what the afterlife is? If so, it's kind of boring. Nothing like I expected. But there is a sort of humming in the background, which I didn't expect. It's kind of catchy, actually. And I have nothing better to do, so I start tapping my foot along to the beat.

I'm studying my shoes as I do this, but I don't think to look up. When I do, I am shocked by what I see. The black dots have grown, so that they have almost completely covered the wall. And intertwined with them are flashing red lines that glow and flicker across the surface. They are constantly moving, and as they do so I can hear the intensity of the song growing. The notes get deep and there is a huge buildup, and then the red flashes everywhere, shooting into random places and taking over entire sections of the wall. Then the climax comes, crescendoing as the red starts to heat up. There is actual warmth coming from the wall, and I can feel it in my bones. It is agony and pain and everything in my life I have ever hated all at once, but it is also love and happiness. Then those are sucked away and I'm just left in pain, sharp and stabbing. The red turns white, taking over everything and blinding my vision. And just when I thought the pain couldn't get any worse, and I couldn't take anymore? It stops. I collapse to the floor in relief, and clutch my head to try and get the visions out of there. And then they are... But they are forced out into the room.

They are everywhere, strewn all around like unwanted Polaroids. I stand up, the pain gone, and take one in between two of my fingers. It's a picture of a memory, one that brings harsh pain with it. In and of itself, it isn't painful. My boyfriend taking pictures of me? It should be a happy time. But it isn't, because the one next to it is of when he died.

He jumped out of his window. It was on a dare, because his friend told him he should. He broke his foot on the way down, but everybody thought he was fine. Turns out he wasn't, because the wound got infected and he ended up dying from it. I've lost so many people, and I didn't want to lose another. But I did, which I why this memory was tainted.

Why would I want to look at any others? More pain and terrible things resurging? No thank you. I just want for these Games to be over, to be able to go home. I just want to go out.

Out.

Out.

Out.

Out....

out.

i just want this to be over.

no.

more.

pain.

i'm not okay, i can promise you that.