Harry woke to bright lights, beeping machines, and tears. He tried to lift his head, but the world tilted on its axis and sent his head spinning.

Harry groaned lightly, his eyes closed as he took low breaths to stop the nauseous feeling he'd gotten from trying to sit up.

Cater straightened in her chair, clutching Harry's hand tighter before leaning against the rails of his hospital bed.

Her voice trembled and cracked, "H-harry?"

He tried to smile, but it turned out more like a frown. Everything was heavy and he still felt like he was asleep.

"Hi." It came out as more of an exhale, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Carter started to cry again, her tears heavy on his hand, and she gripped his hand like it was her anchor and she was lost at sea. Something was obviously wrong, but he couldn't tell if it was because he had been shot or because of something else.

Even on heavy doses of drugs, he knew that it wasn't just him. Carter was full out sobbing, her chest heaving with each break, tears flooding her eyes and falling down her cheeks like rivers, and her lips trembling more with each passing second.

Harry couldn't help but to ask, "How...how long have I been asleep?"

His mouth felt like it had been packed with cotton and his tongue felt foreign. Harry grimaced slightly and tried to ignore the pains and strange feelings in his body to focus on Carter.

A heartbreaking sob passed her lips, "Three days. T-they said that you shouldn't b-be alive."

Carter watched through blurry lenses as he absorbed what she'd told him, his eyes falling down to his chest and all of the tubes that covered his body. He lifted his free hand slowly and carefully, bringing it to the heavy gauze on his chest, hidden by the hideous hospital gown.

Harry took a good look at her, focusing on everything that was going on aside from the beeping of the machines that he was hooked up to. Something was very different and very wrong, but he couldn't figure it out with his mind in such a haze and he was starting to worry, his heartbeat spiking slightly.

He swallowed heavily and continued to look at her, determined to figure out what else was wrong.

"What else happened?"

The tears that had slowed only for a brief moment returned like a tidal wave. Carter's lips parted, she was about to tell him, but the flashback hit her hard.

. . .

A good number of the staff rushed Harry back and into the operating room and she was left alone, to wait in uncomfortable chairs with strangers staring at her like she was some sort of display.

Left alone to wonder if the love of her life was going to die in a sterile room, with strangers who knew nothing about him except his name and the blatantly obvious fact that he had been shot and lost a lot of blood.

She was left alone with her thoughts. Depressed became dangerous and, the longer she sat in the infuriating chair in the lobby, the deeper the cuts became. One by one, her thoughts shredded and ripped everything apart.

Harry was dying, or already dead, and she wasn't allowed to see him, and something was so very wrong with her baby. She felt detached, like she was no longer pregnant and, left alone with her thoughts, she started to panic.

Only ten torturous minutes passed before she stood up, no longer able to face her thoughts alone, and made her way over to the front desk.

Someone gasped once she was on her feet. She needed to know why and turned around as fast as she could manage.

Her eyes landed on the dark splotch on her chair and she stopped breathing. Everything caved in, encompassed by a heart-breaking reality that crushed her bones and turned her blood cold.

Tears rolled down the curves of her cheeks, warm and full of despair, even before her eyes lowered to look at her stomach. She couldn't look over the bump, but she knew what it meant and every little part of her heart disintegrated.

She'd lost her baby.

Nothing mattered anymore and she let her knees give way and bring her to the floor. Everything was being taken away from her all at once, but she couldn't even find it in herself to ask why or what she had done to deserve this; why she was constantly losing everything that she ever wanted.

Someone shouted for help and nurses ran over, pulling her up by her arms and settling her in a wheelchair to bring her back and try to help her even though there was no use.

Her chest heaved and her heart felt like it was made out of lead, sinking to the pit of her stomach and leaving an empty hole behind. Her lungs were screaming for air, but she could never get enough in through her desperate and broken gasps and she didn't want to live anyway if she had to go one without her baby and without Harry.

She was terrified of being alone and she felt desolate and abandoned, both by God and by everyone and everything.

They were asking her too many questions, but she couldn't stop sobbing long enough to respond, and she didn't want to because, fuck, she'd lost another life and the lifeline that she held onto was slowly fading and far from her grasp.

She wanted to feel numb, to block everything out, but she couldn't do that anymore and everything hurt so fucking much.

As if she were part of some sick and twisted joke, they made it sound like they could save her baby even though she knew that she was gone. She felt every ounce of pain and the strain of her body after they had induced her, but she knew it was already too late and the tears never stopped flowing.

They'd asked if she wanted them to contact anyone to be there with her and that only made it worse.

"The only person I want is dying in the operating room. I've lost my baby and I'm losing my love."

No one said anything that they didn't need to after that. Hours went by and she thought that she'd been through the worst already, but she hadn't.

The worst feeling in the world happens when you've just had a stillbirth and you get a glimpse of the baby that you lost and how beautiful she was.

. . .

Harry gave her hand a gentle squeeze and she exhaled heavily. Carter shook her head and bit down harshly on her lip. She felt it all like it was happening again, the image of her lost little girl flashing behind her eyes over and over again.

Carter closed her eyes and held them shut tightly, "I lost her." She gasped for air, "I lost our baby girl."

She couldn't look at him, couldn't see the heartbreak written clear across his face and adding to the physical pain that he already felt.

"W-what?"

God, even the heart-break in his voice was terrible and she couldn't force her eyes to stay away.

Carter lost her breath again, her eyes meeting the devastation in his and seeing it reflected clear on his face, "I lost our little girl. S-she was a s-stillbirth."

Thick waves of tears rolled down his cheeks and he swallowed hard, "D-did you..."

Carter nodded quickly and cried harder, "She was so beautiful."

Harry forced the rail down and opened his arms for her. Carter didn't hesitate to climb into the tiny bed with him, surrendering to his arms and her sadness. She clung to him like barnacles cling to rocks, and he let her without restraint because he felt it too, not nearly as much, but enough to feel his heart completely shatter and enough to ignore the actual pain in his chest in order to comfort her.

Carter gasped for air, "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

Harry held her tighter, his eyes burning in the bright light and his tears enhancing the sting, "No, no, Carter, it's not your fault. It's not your fault."

A sob choked her up and she ignored it only to answer, "But I feel like it is."

Harry shook his head, "No. That is never your fault, Carter. Never."

She couldn't hold him tight enough because she didn't want to hurt him even more, "What have I done to deserve this?"

His hand smoothed her hair and he gently swayed them from side to side in a feeble attempt to ease their burden, "Nothing, sweetheart. Not a single thing."

A nurse entered with her clipboard up to her nose. She stopped walking once she lowered the charts and noticed the woman in bed with him, clinging to him like her life depended on it.

Harry met her eyes and she breathed deeply, composing herself slightly only to clear her throat softly, "I...I just need to check your meds."

He nodded slightly before closing his eyes and focusing on Carter, trying to mend both of their hearts at once and mumbling in her hair, "I'm so sorry..."