Hi, My name is Gustav and I remember being puzzled by the fact that I was different. I always felt like an outcast, like I was destined for more. Like I had this incredible potential that had not gotten exposed yet.
I was right, when I was eleven I got a letter from a raven. To my surprise it was from a school, a school for mages. My parents first thought it was some kind of prank till our house was flooded by letters again and again. It resembled the things I had read about Harry potter, I was the child that was destined to live the dream of every kid. I was a mage, I was cooler than anybody. Or at least I thought so for one whole summer, when I arrived there I found out I was not more than average.
And the magical world is more boring than you'd expect. It's preposterous that writers think the megical community would be stuck in the past. We can fucking make everything work! Why would't we use computers? We can even use the computer whilst others have a power outage. So if you ever see a light in a house during a power outage know that a mage lives there.

Anyway, as I was mildly average I needed to choose a suitable job. Others were destined to become professors, astrologers, part of the worldwide board, potion makers, or the real golden boys were destined to work in the working of the universe. Where you can arrange stars and everything. But I was average, even too average to become a doctor. (maybe I wasn't average I was simply.....bad. I always lose my way while teleporting. But hey I was raised by non mages, I even lose the way while driving a car with gps!) So I had two choices, magical encironmental lawyer or realtor (They did mention that we have a lengthened lifespan so maybe one day.....I'll be better?)
I chose the more exciting job of course.
I'm lying....
I'm a realtor (And not even a great one)

I walk into my office and look in the mirror as I put my hair in a bun. I hear a cough behind me and turn around. Startled by the blonde young man staring at me.
"Oh of course, that's why you wanted an evening appointment." I say with a smile. Vampires, the lack of humanity still creeps me out.
"That's offensive, we all have been humans." The vampire says with a french accent that may very well be fake. Shite I forgot they can read minds. I quickly cast a mind block.
"I don't appreciate how early you are not available anymore. You are limiting your market." The vampire says while standing up and shaking my hand. Revealing his beautiful edwardian suit.
"I am Guion Estiene Gaultier." He says. Okay.... his accent is not fake.
"I'm Jake smithsonian." I say with a slight smile. "What brings you to unreal realtors Mister Gaultier?" I ask with a smile while putting away some papers.
"I am looking for a lavish summer mansion now that I've reached the age that I can take the sun." Then why did he need an evening appointment I think in frustration.
"And what are your main wishes?" I ask while getting a notepad.
"I would like a stately home at least 200 years old, it doesn't matter if it needs some work, I have enough money for that. I only want aluminium mirrors, so that I can finally see myself in mirrors. I also need a spacy cellar and a wine cellar. I need a ballroom, I need to have at least two hidden rooms and it needs to have stables. It needs to be suitable for about three people." He says. I try not to sigh, vampires are almost always my most high matenainance clients, whether they sell a house or try to buy one.
"Noted Mister Gaultier, and what price are we looking at."
 "Doesn't matter." He says with a smile. As he standss up and shakes my hand.
"I'll call you back."
He nods and disappears, I startle from the wind of the fast movement. 

I walk out of my office and put the file on the table of my assistant.
Jackie the warlock walks up to me "Hey Jake, Hi jake come on please why don't we make a deal." He says with his stupid smirk.
"You know Jackie...." His smirk brightens. "This'll never work, I am not going to sell my soul, not even as a house alright?"
"You're no fun,"
"And you are cursed." I say while walking through the parking portals.

The next morning I drive to the next client. His name is Sylvester Fullinel and he is a.....character to say the least. He is a rather old mage who is selling his house to go live in the woods (Without a cabin invovled as far as I know) I am going to his house to inspect it and see how much I can ask for it. I stop in front of the small skewed house with its peculiar colours, lopsided built and random turret on the side. I frown, I thought he said he had sixteen rooms (only counting the bedrooms), that doesn't fit in this little building.

I pull on the doorbell and Sylvester opens it. His white beard ordained with pick ribbons. I try not to laugh but don't fully succeed. He smiles.
"Cheerful aren't they?" He walks into his house. "You know boy, I began as a realtor too. But now I am a happily retired employee of the sun system."
I smile and my eyes widen "really?" He nods.
"Everything is possible dear boy. Trust me, I am now 199 years old, humans don't stay the same long. Do you want tea or a love potion?"
I chuckle "Tea is fine mister." I say while grabbing some papers and trying to decipher the spell I am sensing.
"It's the endless spell. I've made use of the space in the rest of the cosmos to make use of this old home." He says with a smile.
"that's very impressive sir. I am certain it will be a very good sell."

He shows me the rooms.
"and this is the best room of all" He says as he opens it. I step into the round room. The room is filled with books and the light is produced by a miniature of our solar system. It looks beauiful with its golden parts and it's blue sky. I smile, this will be a good sell.

That night I am waiting inside an old gothic manor. I look at the dark sky and smile, it is a beautiful day. I look on my watch and the bell rings. They're right on time. I open the door.
"Goodevening mister....." I say as I open the door but it is not only the elegant blonde vampire. No, beside the beauty who is twirling his hair and is wearing the most beautiful burgundry suit ever is standing a 90's rocker with black hair, a leather jacket, an unhealthy amount of eyeliner and a cigarette hanging from his mouth.
"Meet my partner, Orlando Gaultier." He says with a smile as the young man shakes my hand.
"Well, let's go." I say with a smile while walking into the house.
Guion clears his throat and looks at Orlando and back at me with a lifted eyebrow.
"Aren't you forgetting something mister Smithsonian?" I frown
Orlando chuckles and takes off his sunglasses.
"We need to be invited in if a property isn't ours or public, bestie." He says.
Guion sighs and shakes his head. "Stop using slang, you are too old."
"My mind is young." He says. I chuckle.
"Don't encourage him." Guion says.
Orlando kisses him. "I love you too."
"Well, come in." I say with a smile.

"See, it has all the features you've asked for. It is not even that much of a fixer upper. Follow me to the kitchen." I say while we walk towards the kitchen.
When I enter I instantly see the decorative garlic on the counter and grind my teeth.... I forgot.
Guion hisses as soon as he sees the garlic.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was that bad. I should've taken away the garlic."
Guion frowns. "I'm allergic.... you couldn't have known. Orlando loves garlic."
I cringe in embarrasment.
"What did he mean?" He asks orlando. Orlando shrugs, smiling at me and I know he is simply covering for me.

We enter the fourth bedroom.
"Oh my, this room gate." Orlando says while grooving to some kind of music that seems that only the ones that are currently high on something can hear.
"ATE Orlando! For the last time! The kids are saying ate. Emphasis on the kids, if you say it another time I'll kill you again."
"You litterally have no chill Guion."
"ALL SLANG counts from now on."

They look around for a while and I hear them talking.
"I don't know if the hearths are big enough for bodies."
"Than we'll take a burner in the backyard or an wood oven for 'bread' It's beautiful Guion we would be happy here."
"I know I know....but what about Genevieve?"
"What about Jenny?" Orlando asks softly kissing him.
"She can hurt herself in so many ways here. Look at those old fashioned fans. They could cut off her head... We should babyproof the house."
"You know she is about sixteen years old right."
"Yes but she is foolish Orlando..."

"everything alright here?" I ask.
"May we look at that fan?" Orlando asks.
"Of course, if you can get there."
Guion floats towards it.
"I mean Orlando look at this. It is basically a murder weapon and not the good kind."
I frown, there's a good kind of murder weapon?
I hear a crack and I look up seeing Guion looking embarrased at the fan he accidentally ripped off.
"We'll take it." He says with an akward smile.
I chuckle and nod.

I arrive in my office for the last clients of today. I turn around and am startled by about nineteen pretty youthful boys sitting in front of my desk.
"We need a home for all of us."
"A male coven? You don't see that a lot anymore." I say with a smile. I say while opening my blinds.
"No.....werewolves" They say.
I turn around and see the scratching their skin while fur appears. I shake my head.
"Nope I've had enough shit today. " I say while guiding them towards the door.
"You can come back after....." I look them up and down. "This."

I close the door and sigh, but I catch myself smiling. I realise for the first time in a long time that I am enjoying this job and the adventure that comes with it is a definite bonus.

I tried to write happy today! It's not really good but it was kinda fun to write!