if i cried a lot while writing chapter 50 then haha nOW I WAS LIKE A WATERFALL OR SOMETHING THE TEARS ARE REAL OK this is like the greatest thing i have ever written and even tho i was crying like a baby i also couldn't stop smiling fuck i'm so happy i loVE STUCKY BYE

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  Simply put, Steve Rogers had never run as fast as he did once he heard a knock on the front door of his apartment. For the past days, almost weeks, he had been living all alone - excluding Natasha's occasional visits - and whilst he did enjoy the peace and having time for himself, he had had enough and he was more than happy to welcome his boyfriend, and best friend, back home after so long. Only the thought of how he was so close to being able to kiss and hug and hold Bucky again, was nearly enough to bring the man to damn tears but instead of falling apart before the door had even been opened, he tried to hold himself together.

  However, behind the door stood only Sam and while it was awesome to see him again - since Steve had missed him as well - he couldn't help but give a look of confusion and disappointment to Sam whose happy smile turned into a sour expression as he scoffed and pushed Steve out of the way. A sense of concern kicked in instantly, considering Sam was all alone and after peeking in the hallway, Steve came to the conclusion that he had indeed arrived by himself.

  "Not exactly the warm 'Welcome home!' I was hoping for", Sam grinned once Steve had turned to face him, and after he had pulled the blonde into a brotherly hug, he cleared his throat. "Oh, yeah. Bucky's not here", Sam added as he walked towards the small kitchen in the apartment, causing Steve to roll his eyes as he followed him to the fridge which the other man started to go through in the hopes of some food.

  "Yeah, I can see that. Where is he?", Steve asked nervously, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt as he waited for an answer. He had expected to see Bucky instantly, pull the man into his arms and never let go but instead Sam had come alone and whilst that confused him, it also caused Steve to grow worried. Though, concluding from his best friend's casual way to deal with Bucky's absence, everything was fine and that was why Steve tried to relax only to then realize he was nervous for a whole other reason. Bucky had promised that things would make sense soon, yet it didn't seem like that right now.

  "Uh... Here", Sam muttered after digging through this pockets and finding a piece of paper which he handed to Steve who took it gladly. After unfolding the small note, his eyes met Bucky's handwriting and he couldn't stop a happy smile from spreading out on his lips. The piece of paper had an address on it, and Steve simply thanked Sam before grabbing his leather jacket and the keys to his motorcycle and then heading out.

  "Yeah, I missed you too!", Sam yelled as Steve left, and shook his head while adding,  "Old people", with a bitter look shining on his face.

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Steve was excited, though mostly nervous, as he parked his motorcycle near the address he had gotten from Sam. He had tried to think about what to say to Bucky once he'd see him, but there didn't seem to be any right words, or maybe there was too much of them. No matter how he tried to come up with something, Steve was walking towards his destination with empty - and shaky - hands and a mind full of messy thoughts he couldn't solve. Though, he had a feeling that seeing Bucky would ease his stress and everything would make sense like had been told.

Steve also tried to be confident, and strong, but little did he know, that was all going to come crashing down in a moment. The stern Captain America attitude in him, would be long gone and those baby blues, full of tears.

  Bucky was equally nervous, no doubt of it. He was happy to see his darling after so many days without his hugs and that gorgeous smile, and couldn't wait to do everything they had talked about, but mostly, he was nervous like Steve. For a whole other reason, though, because whilst Steve was afraid of the unknown, Bucky was afraid of what he knew and was about to do. It was terrifying, and it wasn't a joke anymore. But he knew it was the right thing to do - still scary, though.

  Steve had never been to the place Bucky had chosen. But it was beautiful. They lived in a busy city, and calm places with nature at its finest were rare treasures and with Steve being the busy man he was, he barely had time to explore the surroundings. So, that was why he made sure to cherish each second as he walked down the small path surrounded by pink cherry trees that had covered the road with its flowers, making it match the light pink shade. The sun was shining beautifully through the delicate trees and Steve was rather taken by the experience, as he didn't really have time to live these kind of moments and enjoy all the peace and calmness.

  A few people passed him, but other than that, there was no one and he felt almost bad for everyone missing the stunning sight, but instead of focusing on that, he remembered the true beauty he was there for, Bucky. And as he understood that he was about to see him again, his steps grew faster and in no time, Steve had wandered farther and finally reached a bench, where his beloved boyfriend sat. And goddamn it, he took Steve's breath away instantly.

Bucky's hair was a bit shorter, thanks to Sam apparently, and the stubble on his face had grown out enough to make Steve want to grab him with both hands and kiss the life out of him, slightly more than he did a moment ago. He seemed to be nervous as well, and Steve couldn't understand why, but he ignored that for a moment and broke into a happy smile when Bucky did the same as he noticed Steve standing only a few steps away from him. His blue eyes were twinkling with genuine happiness, and he knew he just had to hug Steve so he stood up only to lose his balance at the sudden movement.

Only then Steve understood that Bucky was indeed missing an arm, and the sight nearly broke his heart into a billion pieces but before he let that happen, he rushed over to Bucky and wrapped his arms quickly around him to stop him from falling to the ground. Steve's face immediately went to Bucky's neck, and the hold of safety soon turned into a loving embrace as Bucky clutched a bit tighter onto him and they both closed their eyes and enjoyed the warmth and the familiar scents they had missed. Being there, right on each other's arms, it felt like home.

"Hey sugar. Don't want you to fall down", Steve whispered, breaking the silence between them and Bucky chuckled as he opened his eyes and stood straight. They let go of each other, though remained close and after their eyes had locked, their foreheads met and they rested against each other while inhaling deeply and enjoying the peaceful moment. And honestly, Bucky really liked Steve's voice and a part of him wanted to ask for him to say something more but instead, he replied.

"Thanks, honey", Bucky replied and as he cleared his throat, he took a step away from Steve and adored his boyfriend with a somewhat teasing look in his eyes. "You look so good", he added, and took Steve's hand in his remaining one to interlock their fingers and squeeze the equally large hand, perhaps to make sure he was really there. Steve chuckled fondly and glanced down at his feet while a faint blush covered his cheeks, attempting to hide the fact that Bucky still made him react like that but he definitely noticed.

"Aw, Stevie. You blushing? You're adorable", Bucky teased, a wide grin spreading on his pink lips and Steve looked up with a smile only to lose it immediately as the deep desire to kiss Bucky kicked in. He stared at his boyfriend's lips for quite the while, before looking back up at his beautiful eyes and ignoring the comment entirely.

"Are you okay?", Steve asked, referring to the missing arm, and Bucky nodded as a sigh broke free from his mouth. They both looked at the remains of his left arm, before their eyes met again and they couldn't avoid smiling just because they loved each other that much. Bucky assured he was fine, before looking around and sighing again, though this time it was nowhere near sad, if anything it was adoring. Partly aimed at Steve, partly at the beautiful place he had found with Sam's help.

"Yeah, 'm fine. But, look at this place. Can't find something this beautiful too easily these days, can you?", Bucky spoke, unaware how his voice could easily send shivers down Steve's spine, each word like music to his ears. Bucky's eyes were still looking at the cherry blossoms and the water behind them, and it was indeed a nice spot, but it didn't take the first place in Steve's opinion.

"Yeah", Steve breathed out while looking at Bucky with an admiring gaze, "I can." Bucky turned to look at him again, with a confused look, but once he caught Steve staring at him he broke into a wide smile, and probably even blushed a bit. But, before Steve had time to notice, he turned away and walked back to the bench from where he grabbed a small velvet box Steve hadn't even noticed.

"Anyway... I know it's been hard for you lately, and I'm sorry. The way I've been acting... It's been unfair, I know, but I promised everything would make sense and be fine and I wasn't lying-- At least I'm sure this is the right thing to do and I, I just, uhm... I want you to know that I do really love you", Bucky began rambling, his hand clutching the small red box, while his eyes were nervously glancing around, and he got Steve worried, to be honest. The blonde turned to face his boyfriend, but instead of speaking a single word, he let Bucky, who chuckled yet seemed to have tears in his eyes, continue.

"You mean the world to me, Steve. You always have, and I'm pretty sure you always will. So - damn it - after thinking about this for a long time and planning it all out, I decided that, hell yeah, I want this", Bucky explained, his eyes meeting Steve's as he slowly lowered himself to one knee, almost losing his balance again but even with only one arm, he was capable of doing what he wanted. Slowly, Steve began realizing what was happening and it earned a sharp gasp from him as he looked at Bucky, who had one hell of a smile on his lips and if Steve hadn't been profoundly shocked, yet absolutely blissful, he would have had one on his, too.

  "And, fuck, I love you so much, and it would make me very happy to be able to wake up next to you every day. And, maybe, instead of boyfriend I could call you something else. So, Steve Rogers, the love of my life, the honey to my sugar and the best guy I have ever had the privilege of knowing...", Bucky inhaled deeply, and with one hand, flicked open the box to reveal a brightly shining small ring inside. Steve was breathless, his heart probably skipped a beat and he felt like swooning, and before Bucky could even ask the big question, he knew what his answer would be. Nonetheless, when Bucky did in fact speak those two four words, it was the most beautiful thing Steve had ever heard.

  "Will you marry me?"

  It was silent, for maybe like a split second, but then Steve had already spoken. "Yes, jesus Buck, yes!", he let out, salty tears falling to his soft cheeks as he attacked Bucky with a massive hug, knocking the man down to the ground and straddling his lap. Bucky laughed, but the sound was suffocated as Steve crashed his mouth onto his and their lips met in a kiss they hadn't realized they desperately needed but now, they never wanted it to end.

  It tasted like tears, but it was flawless. They hadn't had many chances to kiss, yet their lips moved perfectly together and they were some kind of professionals at doing it - it came so naturally. Like two pieces melting together, and damn it, it was so good they both closed their eyes and failed to remember the few passing strangers as they kissed on the ground covered in cherry blossoms. Bucky's only hand slid the ring he had spent all of his money on, to Steve's finger and as soon as it rested there perfectly, their fingers intertwined and they eased against each other while the kiss just continued.

  At some point, Steve's other hand escaped to Bucky's hair and he caressed through the mess while their lips eventually separated, only for their foreheads to rest against each other as they tried to catch their breaths and let their heartbeats slow down to normal again. Bucky let out a breathless laugh, and opened his eyes to find Steve staring at him adoringly, his hand squeezing his and their bodies tightly together like they wanted them to be.

  "It's not much, but-- you know, all I could afford", Bucky explained once they had found their way onto the bench, and Steve was adoring the ring on his finger. He shook his head, and with a sincerely happy smile lifting his swollen lips, he turned to look at Bucky and placed his hand on his thigh carefully.

  "It's perfect", Steve whispered, before placing another soft kiss on Bucky's mouth. They both smiled, and for a moment, it was peacefully quiet but then Bucky pulled away and grabbed his phone. His hand took Steve's again, and they stood up from the bench as a song started to play from Bucky's phone, and after leading his fiancé to the middle of the small road, he intertwined their fingers.

It was a sad sight, really, because even if they were holding hands, Bucky couldn't wrap his other arm around Steve. So Steve did it, placed his hand on Bucky's side from where it slid to his back and pulled the man closer, but Bucky still hated being unable to hold his darling. But, Steve assured it was okay as they slowly danced to the song Bucky had chosen.

"Is this... Is this Beyoncé?", Steve asked with a curious smile after listening to the song and recognizing the voice, which made Bucky laugh and god how Steve loved that heavenly sound. He grinned, and as Bucky nodded, a sense of pride flooded into Steve's happy heart. He was getting pretty good - and okay, maybe he did kind of like Beyoncé.

  "Yeah, I just chose a slow song", Bucky shrugged casually, but after leaning closer to Steve and kissing his cheek, he whispered into his ear, "Don't think I forgot about that lap dance, though", and once again, Steve shivered.

  After twirling Bucky around and then pulling him close again, Steve shook his head and smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it, doll", he replied, and Bucky sighed happily while his head dropped to Steve's shoulder and rested there. It was a calm, beautiful moment, and they were both praying it would never end but eventually the song changed and the mood wasn't the same, so they let go of each other and after one more kiss, they started to walk back towards the apartment.

  "I can't wait to marry your ass", Bucky spoke as they were walking home, and Steve let out a cute little laugh.

  "Me either, sugar."

  "Honey."

  "Iced."

  "Tea."

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GROUPCHAT

natooshie: how'd it go ???

sam wilslay: omg pls good news pls

buckaroo: steve said yes :)

buckaroo: we're engaged, bitches

natooshie: OMGMDLSL YESSSS

sam wilslay: SCREAMING

steeb: yeah we can hear and we're not even in the hallway yet

natooshie: IIM SO HAPPy FoRO YOU UYSHG

sam wilslay: mY OTP

sam wilslay: THEYR EGETTING AMRRIED OH YMGOD IMC RYKNG

natooshie: SaME SAm

buckaroo: aw, you guys

steeb: thank you ((: i'm happy too

buckaroo: me too ❤️

natooshie: ME AND CLINT ARE COMING TO VISIT LATER TONIGHT

steeb: yes of course !!

sam wilslay: TIME FOR CAKE BITCHES

sam wilslay: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

buckaroo: see you guys soon :)

sam wilslay: yessSSSS BYE

natooshie: CONGRATS STUCKY

ironman: WTF

ironman: YOU GOT ENGAGED

ironman: AND EVERYONE KNEW BUT ME

ironman: IM SO MAD RN BYE

ironman: but honestly tho, i'm happy for you guys CONGRATS BROOKLYN BABES

ironman: BUT IM SO ANGRY BYE

ironman: now im kinda crying tho

steeb: we all are

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IT'SOVER WTF NOOooOo

a part of me is so happy to finish this but i don't know what i'll do with my life now

BUT it's not entirely over,, i have three bonus chapters and i'll probably publish them all tomorrow tbh

i'll save the long thank you note to the very end but seriously, thank you so much because the support this book has gotten is absolutely insane and all the comments have made me so damn happy okay,, THANK YOU !!