We were both shocked to learn that Shore Acres wasn't a beach rather than a beautiful, large flower garden. Collin appeared both confused and disappointed by the discovery. We drove around a little just in case we were in the wrong spot. There were merely trees on either side. After driving for a little longer, Collin finally went back to the parking lot. He parked then stared ahead silently. I clapped, breaking the tense silence.

"How about we go check it out anyway?" I suggested. "I know it's not what you had expected, but it could still be fun."

Collin took a moment to consider it before getting out. I frantically wrestled the seatbelt away before doing the same. By the time I had gotten out, Collin already had Boh on his leash. The dog excitedly looked around at his new environment. He tried to tug Collin in all different directions, but Collin simply stood still, unaffected by the attempts.

I walked towards the garden with Collin following from behind. I opened a tall gate, revealing colorful plants and a small fountain in the heart of it. Though it hadn't been what we expected, it was gorgeous. We walked around and admired the scenery. There were flowers of all colors and beautiful trees. Walking further, we discovered a large pond filled with lily pads and stone cranes.

A few ducks were floating around and cleaning themselves, but the flapping of their wings was the only sound that could be heard. For such a gorgeous place, it was empty. It felt like an area that needed to be shared with everyone.

The garden wasn't very big, and it wouldn't have taken long for us to explore every square inch if I hadn't been taking photos of everything. Collin stayed at a distance, bored. My heart pained for him. I knew that he was so excited to finally see the place that he had been dreaming about. It turning out to be a garden wasn't just unexpected but shattering.

We crossed a little bridge that went over the pond. Collin looked into the dirty water, his lips as thin as a blade. I stared at him, chewing my lower lip. I wish there was a way to make him feel better. In a desperate attempt, I pulled my phone out and started taking goofy pictures of myself. Collin noticed and stared at me. After a moment, he broke into a small smile. Seeing that it had worked, I came over and wrapped my arm around his waist. "Smile."

He ducked his head away. I rolled my eyes. I lifted onto my tip-toes and slung my arm around his neck. He instinctively leaned down, posing him in a funny way. I couldn't help but laugh as I took the pictures.

He stood at his full height, causing me to drop my arm. "Let's try to get through the rest so that we can leave."

I nodded and slipped my phone back into my pocket. The mood had already significantly changed, to my delight. He was now walking right next to me, nodding and making comments with me about the plants.

"That one's definitely a face," I said, pointing at one of the bushes. "Kinda looks like Washington."

"Funny, I was going to say that it looks like you."

"Hey!" I laughed, gently pushing at his arm. He barely rocked. He shook his head, smiling.

As we were passing another group of trees, a crack in the gate caught my eye. I derailed from the path, my curiosity getting the best of me. The crack turned out to be a door. I pushed it slightly. It was unlocked.

I slipped through it. I ended up on a thin cliff. I shuffled to a safer spot before looking around. There was a trail to the left of me and a beach in front. I looked down at the trail, my heart leaping. What if...

Collin must have had the same idea, for he immediately started walking. I nearly had to jog to catch up with him. The trail was straight for the majority of the time, but it suddenly dipped, leading us onto a sandy beach. I looked up from my feet. The cliff that we were just on inhabited gorgeous trees, ones which I had barely admired when I was up there. The cloudy sky made the ocean appear a dark, bluish-green. Unlike the glassy look it had when I had seen it with Lewis, this part of the ocean was hidden by kelp and rocks, making it mysterious yet inviting. The waves rolled onto the shore gently, hardly making a sound.

I recognized the view instantly. It looked exactly like it had in Collin's photo.

I looked at Collin, not wanting to miss his reaction. Instead, I found myself being entranced by his features. His defined jawline, his striking eyes, his gorgeous, soft lips...

I looked away as I felt my cheeks grow hot. It felt like I was looking at something classified. I stole a short glance at him again. He was still looking at the water, but his expression had grown sad. His jaw clenched as he tried to hide it, but his quivering lips gave it away.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Aren't...aren't you happy to be here?"

He looked at me with his eyes wide, as if he forgot that I had ever been there. Then he looked away and turned around, heading back to the trail.

I followed him, confused. This was what he wanted, right? We had gone to Oregon just for this moment. I had expected him to be excited. I had expected him to roll up his jeans and to wade in the water. I had expected us to spend the rest of the day and the entire time at the beach. I had expected—no, had hoped—that he would have shown a side of him that I hadn't seen yet. A vulnerable and childlike side, like how I had acted the first time I went to the beach.

But instead, he was unhappy. He had looked at it for five minutes and then left.

I ran to catch up with him. "Collin, are you okay?" He continued walking, gripping Boh's leash tightly. I grabbed his arm. He stopped and spun to look at me. I staggered back at his sudden moment. After taking a split second to recollect myself, I said, "What's wrong?"

He sighed and lowered his head. His eyelids were squeezed shut. I stared at him, full of worry and sorrow.

He whispered something so quietly that I couldn't hear it. I stared at him, confused. He sucked in a breath before repeating it louder, "I'm supposed to be here with someone else."

"Oh." I wasn't sure how else to react. His words felt like a punch to the stomach. Was he saying that I was the problem? I had thought that he was finally getting comfortable around me, but maybe I was wrong.

But no, the way he worded the sentence wasn't saying that he wanted to be with someone other than me. He had planned this trip with someone a long time ago. At Wendy's during one of the first days we were together, he had said how "we" had always wanted to go.  Who was the other person? Why weren't they together now, going as they had wanted?

A sudden realization struck me. "Is it Harvey?" I whispered. It was bold of me to assume it was the one person Cece had told me about, but it made sense. They had been best friends and they apparently traveled together.

Collin's bottom lip trembled, verifying my assumption. A fat, silent tear slid down his cheek. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. I merely watched, not knowing how to comfort him. Finally, I came to my senses and approached him, wrapping my arms around him. After a moment he hugged back, placing his chin on my head. I rubbed his back soothingly. We stood like that for what felt like forever. I couldn't tell if he was crying, for he was so still and quiet. I started to wonder if he had fallen asleep standing up until he spoke, "I loved him."

He let out a choked sob. My heart pitted. His voice was filled with weight and sorrow, as if in those three words he had confessed all the pain he had endured in his lifetime. I clutched onto him tighter, now knowing what else to do.

I felt tears well in my eyes. I tried to hold them in, knowing that it wouldn't have helped. I couldn't help the heaviness I felt in my heart. The words replayed in my mind like a broken record, causing me pain and misery. Poor Collin, was all I could think. No wonder he had been so nervous to come here. He had been afraid of the reminder. I felt myself clutching him tighter, a melancholy tune playing in my head, grieving for him.

He loved him.

***

I sat in the driver's seat, staring ahead at the cliffside view. Music played softly from the radio, though I paid no mind to it. I only turned it on because I thought that it'd help the time go faster. But after what I had learned an hour ago, it seemed impossible to keep my mind from spinning with thoughts. It was moving so quickly that it caused my head to ache and my body to go numb.

Collin had found a trail by the beach and told me that he was going to take Boh on a walk to clear his head. That was so long ago that I thought he'd never come back. Though it seemed like a ridiculous thought at first, it was starting to become more and more plausible. Had I messed up that badly by taking him here?

I had to remind myself again and again that I would have never known about Shore Acres being Harvey's and his dream location. I never intended to take him here to cause him pain. I had thought that I was helping someone achieve a goal before the world ended. Apparently not.

Harvey. What had he been like? I knew how he and Collin had met and that Cece like him, but what else? Had he been witty and clever? Sensitive and gentle? Had he been handsome? Surely he had been if Collin loved him. What adventures had they gone on? Were they far more exciting, more fun than the ones that we've gone on?

I shook my head, trying to remove the thoughts from my head. To try to figure out what about a person Collin loved. Hoping that in some way that they'd be similar to me.

Because, deep down, I knew that Collin would always love Harvey far more than he could ever love me.

Tears pricked my eyes. I blinked them away and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. Really? He's mourning and you're just worried about yourself? I felt sick to my stomach. My worries were wrong to think, and yet they lingered in my head. Somehow during this last week, I had fallen for Collin Reyes in a way that I couldn't recover from, and I didn't know what to do about it. And after today, I knew that it was hopeless.

So? Get over it, I snapped at myself. There was no use in dwelling in my own sorrows. I had to respect Collin and his feelings. And that took burying my own feelings deep, deep inside of myself where they couldn't resurface.

Another half an hour passed before I saw Collin's figure through the rearview window. My heart jolted and tears threatened to overtake me once again. I looked down at my hands, trying to conceal myself.

The trunk was opened and Boh hopped inside the car. Collin was silent as he closed it again. I expected him to then go into the passenger's seat, but instead, he went to the driver's side and opened the door. He kept his hand on the door and looked down at the ground. I looked up at him, studying his face. It was back to his normal, resting expression. There were no signs that he had been crying left.

We stayed like that for a moment. I didn't know what to say and it seemed like Collin was trying to find words of his own. After another excruciating minute, he sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. "I was worried that coming here would...remind me of him." I nodded. I had figured that was why he had been so hesitant about coming here like an hour ago. "...But it made me realize that...I...I have been trying not to think of him for a year now, and..."

He cleared his throat as his voice started to choke. I sat there silently. I knew that saying anything would only break his train of thought, and he needed to get this out.

"The man who's been chasing me—his name is Ronan—shot Harvey. He didn't pay up on time or something like that, was trying to send a message to everyone else." His voice sounded dull and heavy as he explained this as if he had suddenly grown detached from himself. When he looked at me, though, his eyes were glossy and full of emotion. "If it had been me, Harvey would have killed him where he stood. But I couldn't...I called the cops instead. They've been chasing him ever since, and Ronan has been chasing me because of it—trying to send another message, I guess.

"And like I've said, I've been running ever since. But Harvey...he would've never wanted me to. Not from Ronan, not from my problems, and not from other people."

The last part caused my heart to twist. This was probably the most that Collin has said all at once, and each word seemed to make me feel heavier and heavier. He had gone through something terrible. No wonder it was so difficult for him to trust people.

"Harvey would be angry if he knew that I stopped looking for someone after him." He chuckled softly. "He found it to be the most important thing in the world, being able to live life with a partner. He said it was a waste if you were just laughing at your own jokes all your life." His eyes glistened when he talked about Harvey. There was a look on his face that I'd never seen before. It was a dreamlike, almost nostalgic expression. I couldn't help but smile at it.

"Natalie, you've made me happier than I've been in a long, long time." His eyes bore deeply into mine. "I just...really want you to know that."

My heart pounded against my chest so quickly that I thought it was going to burst. I clutched onto my seat, not knowing what to do. He had just spoken words that I had longed for days for, and yet it didn't settle right in my stomach. Was this him trying to recover from his grieving or was it unrelated?

"But Nat, I don't have the financial stability or the lifestyle that you deserve. You should be with someone that has a big house and cars and..."

The last part of his sentence didn't register in my mind. I was too busy staring at him, shocked. Did he really think that I cared about that stuff? Maybe at another time in life that would be a slight concern, but when our lives were on a limited timer, it was a completely different story. There was no time to buy a house or get a job. All I wanted to focus on were the strong feelings that were swimming in my mind for him, the ones that I wanted to shout about at the top of my lungs for him to hear.

"...but I'll turn my life around for you, I swear. I'll get a long-term job and maybe I'll go to community like you and we could..."

He tapered off and stared at me. I was smiling like an idiot. I'll turn my life around for you. For you. I couldn't help but gush at the words. No one has ever told me that before. It was unnecessary and I'd never ask for him to do such a thing for me, but it was still nice to hear.

I shook my head. "I don't need a Gatsby."

"But you need stability and security," he insisted.

I took his hand in mine, trying to wipe the smile off of my face. Every time it fell, the corners of my lips tugged back up. "Thank you."

I would have dismissed what he had said, but I knew it's not what he wanted to hear. He didn't think that we were dying soon, so it was better to give him this than to shut it down.

He smiled and gave my hand a squeeze. My hand felt cold as he slipped his way from mine and closed the door. I sat back in my seat, a swirl of emotions swelling in my chest. It was bittersweet, but I didn't feel sad like I had earlier. Collin loved Harvey still, that was undeniable. But the way he liked me was different. I didn't want it to be any other way.

Hi guys! I'm so excited to finally have this chapter out and ready. It's a big turning point in both Collin's character and their relationship. What do you think is going to change now that this moment has happened between them if anything at all? How do you feel about them? I'd love to know!

If you scroll past the lovely song there's a picture of the Shore Acres beach! Gorgeous, isn't it? Wouldn't you love to visit, too?

If you liked this chapter, make sure to vote, to comment, and to share it with your friends! Don't forget to vote with your ring finger. Stay happy!

This song is called We Don't Know by the Strumbellas. Enjoy!