-Louis' Point of View-

I decided not to tell Harry about the attack, I didn't want him to get worked up over something so stupid. I laid my head against my couch, Niall sent me home, claiming that since it was the second attack this week, I should get some rest. I scrolled through my phone and saw Harry sent me a text.

Hazzy: Miss u baby :)

I smiled at the text and put my phone on the coffee table. I sighed and decided to call up my therapist/doctor. Harry didn't know about him, and I didn't plan on telling him. I don't like when Harry's upset or scared over me. It makes me feel like a bad boyfriend.

"Z-Zayn?" I began. Yes, Zayn was my therapist. Although he was also my client and I was his, we were fine with that.

"Ah Louis! How are you doing today?" I rubbed over my shoulders

"I- I had an attack today Zayn." I confessed quickly. I heard a sharp breath.

"Why don't you come in, we'll talk. Yeah?" I agreed and hung up the phone. I slipped into baggy sweatpants and a hoodie. As well as slipping a gray knit beanie over my freshly dyed, now auburn hair. It was different, but more natural looking. I walked to Zayn's office in silence. The only thing disturbing me was the crunch of the fallen snow underneath my red vans. I walked up into the white and glass building, where Zayn was already waiting at the desk.

"Louis! Great to see you! Come, come." He called over. His white button down shirt was pulled up to his elbows. His tan trousers pressed, and his shoes shiny and work-like. His tattooed sleeve was visible, and his hair was messily, but suitably swooshing randomly on his head, not in its usual perfect quiff. We walked to the door, his office. He sat in his black swivel chair as I sat crossed legged on the couch.

"So Louis, tell me what's happened, it's been a while." I smiled

"Well, I got a boyfriend and his name is Harry." I pulled out my phone and showed him my background of us skating. He grinned.

"He seems very nice Louis!" I smiled.

"He is, he's a few years younger than me, he's only 18. He's in college with his friend, Liam. Anyways, Harry gets beat up. A lot." Zayn nodded.

"Mmhmm, continue." he urged.

"He came to me with bruises and a broken nose a couple weeks ago. At the hospital we found out he had a concussion. I got nervous and stayed with him for the night. I really care about him." I mumbled and smiled at the blast bit. Zayn smiled as well.

"Well Louis, I'm glad you're trusting him. But on the phone, you said you had another attack correct?" I nodded. "Have you been taking your medications?" I sighed.

"Yeah. Every single one of those stupid depression pills that I don't need."

"Louis, you tried to-"

"I know. I know! I'm fine now!"

"Louis, you haven't been off the pills since you were 19. You're 21 now." I tugged on my hair.

"WELL MAYBE IF YOU TOOK ME OFF I'D BE FINE!" I shouted. Silence. That was until I broke down in tears. Zayn got up and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Shh Louis, we know you hate this. But it's for the best." Zayn cooed. I shook my head.

"You don't know what it's like. Every time I think about it I have an attack. I had one in front of Harry. Now he's so freaked out about them." I sniffled

"That's because he doesn't know what to do if you are having an attack. He feels helpless towards you. You have to teach him what to do when it happens." Zayn explained in a soft voice.

"Okay... Alright I'll do it" I gave in. He smiled and took out his prescription pad.

"I want you to take these now. Don't take them with your other pills were gonna try something different." He ripped off the sheet and handed it to me.

"Xanex?"

"Just tell me if it makes you feel woozy all the time. You and Harry aren't sexually active yet, are you?" He asked. I blushed and shook my head. He chuckled. "Yeah this might decrease that 'urge', as will it make you sleepy." I nodded, still blushing at his words. "And do not drink-"

"Alcohol I know! I know!" I complained.

"Well it's the holidays Lou, I'm just warning you." I rolled my eyes.

"I haven't had a drop of alcohol since I was 19, why would you think differently now?" I asked heading towards the door.

"Just a warning! Have fun with your new boyfriend Lou." Zayn waved me off. I left the door and eagerly left the office. I pulled out my phone and unlocked it. I looked at the picture of Harry and I again. I checked the time. Only 12? He doesn't have classes til 3 again...

Me: Hey Haz! U busy?

I continued to walk as I waited for a reply. The snow was falling again. Lightly and it wasn't sticking to the ground. It looked beautiful.

Hazzy: Nope :) I'm all urs. Y?

Me: I got the day off wanna come over?

Hazzy: Sure! Meet you in 15 :)

I sighed and opened my apartment door. I said hi to Marty and rushed up the stairs. I took off my clothes and pulled on a band tee and tight black skinny jeans. I replaced my gauges with normal solid black ones. I also changed my snakebites. To bright green, not bad. I heard a knock at my door. I jogged over to get it. I unlocked the 3 locks and there stood my perfect boyfriend.

"Hi love" I said kissing his cheek. I pulled him in as he shook the snow out from his hair.

"Hey, I have to get back at 3 so,-"

"I know. I know. Wanna cuppa?" I asked. He sat down.

"Please." He nodded. I went off into the kitchen filling up a kettle.

"Louis?" Harry called out. I set down the kettle of water onto the hot stove.

"Yeah babe?" I asked approaching him. He held up the prescription.

"Why do you have Xanex?" He asked. I bit my cheek

"Medical purposes, that's all don't worry." He sighed.

"Why do you keep telling me not to worry?" He asked. I bit the inside of my cheek harder.

"Because, you're a worry bug." I smiled sitting on his lap. I connected my lips to his as his hands sat helplessly on my thighs. I kissed his jawline.

"Louis..." He moaned. I smiled and connected our lips together again. He opened his mouth to moan out again, but I rolled my hips on him and slipped my tongue in his mouth. He moaned into my mouth, and I'd be a liar if I said it wasn't hot. I ended up rolling my hips again, before the kettle sounded. We parted and I looked at his now swollen red-pink lips. I hopped off his lap to get the kettle. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Harry shift uncomfortably. I turned back to him, and realized he was staring at his slightly tented pants. My eyes widened, but I tried not to pay attention to in.

"I'm gonna use your bathroom. Be right back." He excused himself rushing out of the living room. I chuckled.

"Have fun!" I called out. I made him his cup of tea, the way he likes it. I looked at the bottles of pills in my cabinet as I was putting away the tea. I sighed and popped them open. "F*ck you anxiety attacks." I mumbled to myself dry swallowing them and putting them away. I heard the bathroom door click open and Harry returned, jittery, but less 'turned on' if you will.

"Thanks." He blushed taking the mug from my hand. I smiled and we sat on the couch. "So got any plans today?" He asked.

"Nope. Just gotta fill that prescription and do some laundry after you have to go back to school." Harry's eyes watched the tea in him cup like it was the most precious thing to be on this planet. "Harry?" His eyes snapped up.

"Louis, why do you have attacks I still don't understand." I sighed.

"Harry I can't really talk about it." He frowned. "Are you still worried about me taking pills?" I asked. He slowly nodded. I set down my tea on the coffee table and hugged him.

"You are taking Xanex." He mumbled.

"It's for my attacks."

"But it's not Louis! I've seen people take those when they do drugs." He explained.

"Harry, I'm not on drugs babe. Calm down why are you getting so worked up about this." I asked rubbing his back. A tear fell from his eyes.

"Because I don't wanna lose you like I lost my dad!" His voice cracked.

"Harry come here." He wrapped his arms around my waist and sobbed. I kissed his cheek and curls.

"You can't lose me. I won't let it happen." He moved his face from my shoulder.

"P-Promise?" He hiccuped.

"I promise." I kissed his wet cheeks. His green eyes filled with tears again. "Shh. Don't cry. Why are you crying?" I asked wiping his falling tears.

"Because."

"Because Why babe?" I asked softly, pushing a stray strand of his fringe back in place. He looked up at me with his big green eyes. His pupils big.

"Because I love you Louis."