Authors Note: I actually hadn't planned on making this, at the time of writing it, much longer! Which is why some of the previous parts seem a little more final. And... then I got invested in the story and wrote way more than I expected. 

Thanks for reading xoxo!

--

Gon had forced Hisoka back to class by the time he had missed a week of it. By that, Gon had dressed him and dragged him to his class and then walked him back home.

Pika had also started nursing the overly depressed performer. They were worried for him, not that Hisoka seemed to notice. Stuck in his head space about not being a good enough person.

Why was Hisoka like this? Why was he such a mess? He didn't understand why he couldn't be perfect—like Gon. Gon was perfect. Gon had friends, a soulmate, an aunt who raised him, a good future to look for. Hisoka was a no one... Currently, he was a lump of meat with no purpose or willpower to do anything.

"Hey," Kurapika sits next to Hisoka who sat on the couch. Gon and Killua in the kitchen attempting to make god knows what for dinner. "I think you should talk to Illumi."

Hisoka stiffens slightly at the sound of the name, like a poison had been dripped into his mouth. "How did you...?"

"Got to meet Machi and him... Not too hard to put two and two together." Pika responds. "Don't worry, I don't think the kids made it that far." He adds, referring to Gon and Killua who definitely would not have pieced two and two with their brains.

"I'm not talking to him." Hisoka huffs.

"Leorio tried rejecting me too," Kurapika begins. "I know how it feels."

Suddenly Hisoka was interested. He leaned in, ready to listen to Pika's story.

"Leorio thought having a soulmate would interfere with becoming a med student," Pika explains. "So he flat out rejected me when he saw my tattoos. Not enough time for a soulmate when going through med school."

"And?"

"And so I kept pushing. I'm not about to let his stupid ideas keep me away," Pika snorts. "He's an idiot Hisoka, remember?"

"Right."

"So I talked to him. Everyday. I helped him with his school, I pestered and pestered until we became a thing... it was gradual, and neither of us really realized, but we liked each other. It's what soulmates are for. They're meant for you, and sometimes it just takes a little time."

Hisoka nods slowly. Kurapika and Leorio were incredibly close, acting like an old married couple. But... "what if I had sex with someone?"

Pika chokes on the air, that's the best Hisoka could explain his reaction. "You what?"

"I was hurt." Is all Hisoka can come back with.

"Hisoka I knew you were petty but..." Pika trails off, obvious disappointment in his tone, like a mother scolding her child.

"It was bad sex," Hisoka tries to offer and Pika hits him in response.

"Of course it was if it wasn't with Illumi! Do you know how much you must've hurt Illumi? Have you never heard the stories?"

"Um?"

"You're hopeless! Completely hopeless! You idiot drunk! You and Illumi have to talk."

Hisoka doesn't respond since Killua and Gon come into the room holding what appears to be some sort of lasagna. If they expect Hisoka to eat that...

"I'm heading to the corner store," Hisoka stands. "If you need anything text me."

No one stops him since he hadn't exactly left the house in ages of his own accord, besides the class Gon forced him to. Hisoka's mind on the thought he had hurt Illumi.

Not in a million years did Hisoka ever want to hurt his soulmate. Even when Illumi had rejected him, even after Illumis cold-hearted actions, Hisoka didn't want Illumi to be hurt. Illumi's rejection instead made Hisoka want to be better, it made Hisoka realize how horrible a person he was, that someone like Illumi deserved better than him...

And he was right. He hurt Illumi? How? The sex? Could Illumi feel that? Did it hurt Illumi like how it hurt Hisoka?

Hisoka walks into the corner store, over to the snacks, wanted to binge away his feelings. He doesn't notice as another person walks in, finding themselves beside him.

"Where were you?" Machi's voice finds him. Hisoka looks up to see her looking pissed.

"Where was I...? When?" Hisoka hadn't exactly been anywhere but home and the one studio for dancing since being rejected.

"The performance! Illumi was so excited to see you and you didn't even show!" Machi growls in response.

"Illumi isn't interested in me," Hisoka responded darkly. In reality, Hisoka wasn't mad at Illumi. Illumi definitely deserved someone who didn't have a past like Hisoka's. Hisoka's past was so dirty. His master, the orphanage, the circus... Illumi deserved another rich kid.

"You're kidding, right? Illumi has no idea what he's talking about. He hardly understands what friendship is because he spent his whole life working to become the best fashion designer. Then he gets to make a suit for you, the best rising performer, and you go and fuck someone after finding out your soulmates? And skip the performance? Do you know how excited the man was? Illumi never gets excited. And you hurt him! He needs you more than ever!" Her shouting in the corner store drew the cashiers attention, needless to say, and has Hisoka feeling small.

Of course, Hisoka fucked up. It's all he's good at.

"That's it," Machi grabs Hisoka's arm and pulls him with her. "You smell disgusting, not to mention your makeup is all messed up. You're going to see Illumi but first we're gonna clean you up."

The hotel room is empty save for the two of them. Machi forcing him to shower, dressing him up nicely and allowing him to use her makeup so he could feel a tad bit better about himself. The man had to admit, without his signature facepaint, he did feel kinda... self-conscious?

Machi, despite not seeming to like Hisoka much, even helped him style up his hair which he had neglected for a while.

"Good. Perfect. Now Illumi will be back and you're taking him on a date."

"To where?" Inwardly Hisoka was freaking out. A date? With Illumi? Oh god, Illumi probably hates him too... where would they even go?

"There's a carnival... Illumi loves them, but he's too emotionless to ever let loose with us... you, however," Machi smirks. "You already make him go crazy."

"I do?"

"Before you two even saw each other's tattoos, Illumi talked about you all the time. And how amazing you were. 'Oh, Hisoka won so many awards did you see?' 'Hisoka must have worked so hard.' Hisoka this, Hisoka that! Honestly, your name was growing old," Machi tsks.

"Oh...?" Hisoka frowns a little. Lots of people won awards. Even Gon has won medals. Illumi probably has tons.

"Anyways, he's coming back," Machi glances at her phone. "Ready?"

"No," Hisoka answers honestly, fearing to be face to face with the dark haired man again. Especially after fucking up so bad...

"Too bad."

Illumi walks through the hotel room door, hardly noticing the two. He looks stunning, as always, a grey beanie on his head and comfortable clothes adorning his body. Illumi was more beautiful than Hisoka remembered.

"What are you doing here?" Illumi catches Hisoka's gaze.

"You're going out," Machi says for him. "The carnival."

"I just got back from a long day Machi, I am not-"

"You are." Machi had an authority to her voice that neither of them dared oppose. It minutes they're forced out the door and into a taxi, taking them to the fair.

The silence between them is awkward, to say the least. Illumi sat, perfectly still, shoulders back and head high while Hisoka slouched beside him. Hisoka had no idea what to say, how to apologize... Pika's words come to mind and he looks over at Illumi.

"So... How have you been?" Hisoka asks slowly.

"Good." Is Hisoka's only response before the awkward silence again. Good. So Illumi is good without him. Right... Should have expected as much.

Hisoka pays for their entrance into the fair and watches Illumi's demeanour change. Something tells him others wouldn't pick up on the way Illumi grows excited, but he did. Hisoka could tell Illumi was itching to do all the things here.

Gon had made Hisoka take him to this carnival one too many times, but taking Illumi felt good. He led the smaller man throughout the games and the rides. The awkwardness of their silence starting to get filled with small talk. Funnel cake was shared, cotton candy fought over, a good time had. Illumi was lively and Hisoka loved seeing it.

"Why do you wear makeup like that?" Illumi questions as they walk down a pier, cotton candy held away from Hisoka since he had finally stolen a piece.

"Like what?"

"Like you're always performing. It's makeup you'd wear in the circus."

"I came from the circus... It's like my tribute to where I came from. I don't always have it done like this." Hisoka responds slowly, careful about what he says of his past. Hisoka had no intentions of making the night depressing after all the fun they had just had.

Fun... The two really did have fun together. They talked, laughed, bickered... It was just like a date. Illumi only nods, eating the sugary candy happily as Hisoka hops off the pier and onto the sand.

"Does it take a while to get it like that?" Illumi further questions, Hisoka reaching up and daintily moving Illumi from the pier onto the sand with him.

"I could do it on you someday, then you'll see." Hisoka offers to which Illumi nods. Hisoka takes the moment to steal back the cotton candy and run down the beach. Smiling back at Illumi as he chases him through the sand. Illumi throws himself at Hisoka, having them roll on the ground together.

Hisoka quickly braces himself and Illumi, not wanting the man to get hurt. He ends with Illumi on top of him who successfully steals back the cotton candy.

"I win," Illumi almost smiles, shoving the sugar into his mouth.

"You have quite the sweet tooth," Hisoka muses, brushing sand out of Illumi's dark hair. Illumi was so close... Close enough to kiss. Hisoka only had to lean in. Illumi seemed to think the same because he quickly pushes himself up and off of him. Hisoka doesn't respond, not wanting to ruin the moment.

They sit, looking out over the water and the stars, the fair alive behind them.

"Illumi... I'm sorry..." Hisoka finally says.

"Don't ruin it," Illumi responds, tone dark.

"Right..." Hisoka looks over his soulmate. He was stunning. Skin so pale with his black hair flowing perfectly down his back. His beanie a little messed up from them rolling around in the sand and cotton candy in hand, almost done at this point.

"You owe me a performance."

"What?"

"I never got to see you perform. You owe me a performance." Illumi says, matter of factly, finishing the sugary goodness and not even looking at Hisoka.

Hisoka looks over him before standing up, brushing off sand. He pulls off his shoes and starts to dance. Music from the fair overlooked as he dances to his own tune. Hisoka could feel Illumi's eyes but refused to look at him, scared he won't like the performance. Hisoka performed from the heart, moving to a tune only known to him. Trying to show Illumi... To make him feel... He ends the dance, hand outstretched towards the other male, Hisoka's golden eyes searching Illumi's dark ones.

Illumi takes his hand and Hisoka pulls him up.

"Next performance, you're wearing my costume," Illumi tells him.

"Deal," Hisoka says softly, Illumi close to him once again.

Something told Hisoka their date was going well and that's all he could ask for. Even if maybe they were only friends now... They could make this work... Yeah, they could make it work.