Revelation

“Chaz!”

I shouted in the state of panic. Parang hangin sa bilis na dumaan sa gilid ko si Chaz at muling sinugod si Rhys na nakahandusay pa sa sahig. Hinawakan ni Chaz sa kwelyo ng kaawa-awang si Rhys at bago pa niya ito muling masuntok, mabilis kong linapitan ang dalawa.

I pushed Chaz broad shoulder with so much force. His gaze flew to me directly and I glared at him. He’s furious. His jaw is tightly clenched and his eyes blaze with anger.

“Have you lost your mind? He’s my friend!” sigaw ko sa mukha niya. “Let go of him!” I pushed him once again.

Chaz took a step backward, finally letting Rhys go. Nilingon ko si Rhys at mabilis na sinuri ang pumutok nitong labi. Rhys tried to give off a smile but he winced at the end. I breathed heavily.

“A-Ayos lang ako..” sabi niya sa akin.

“Obviously you’re not,”

I held his right arm and put him behind my back, facing Chaz who looked grumpier. Matalim ang tingin nito kay Rhys at batay sa mahigpit na pagkakuyom ng kamao’y ramdam ko ang kagustuhan nitong muling sapakin ang kaibigan ko.

“Anong bang problema mo? Susugod ka rito at basta-basta na lang mananapak! Iniwan mo pa ang mga bata para manggulo!” I shouted shamelessly.

People are going in and out of the cafe, and I thanked God they’re minding their own business. Kung may ilan mang nakikiusisa’y mabilis ding umaalis na parang walang pakialam. O, siguro dahil na rin sa katotohanang nasa labas kami at bilad na bilad sa araw.

“So he’s the man you’re telling us? Rhys really?” Chaz laughed menacingly.

I glared at him more. The arrogance of this bastard!

“Sofia..” Rhys whispered behind me.

I gritted my teeth. Pilit kong kinakalma ang sarili. Walang magagawa kong papairalin ko ang init ng ulo.

“You better apologize, Chaz. This isn’t funny.”

“Siya dapat ang humingi ng tawad.” tumaas ang sulok ng labi niya, natatawa. “Oh never mind, a mere apology wouldn’t suffice his crime. I’ll sue you, asshole.”

The way he smirked is offending. It’s as if what I am saying are pure nonsense and he knows better!

“Rhys didn’t do anything wrong, you bastard! Siya pa nga ang tumulong sa akin! If it is not because of him—"

“Kung ‘di dahil sa kaniya, hindi ka sana mawawala sa amin ng ganoon katagal!”

I jolted with his thunderous voice. I felt Rhys stiffened at the back. Habang ako ay parang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig sa mga binitawang salita ni Chaz. He brush his hair, looking so frustrated.

“Tang ina, Grace. I've searched for you everywhere! I’ve been to places in hopes to see you but heck, I didn’t! My investigator gave me nothing and that's because of your so called friend!"

Tinaliman niya ng tingin ang tao sa aking likod at kung hindi dahil nasa gitna ako, malamang kanina niya pa ito sinugod.

“Kaya pala.. kaya pala walang maibigay na impormasyon ang mga tauhan ko dahil sa isang hudas na kagaya mo.” he said those words with utmost rage, directed at Rhys.

My lips parted to breath. Nilingon ko si Rhys na nakatitig din pala sa akin. Tila pinagmamasdan ang reaksyon ko.

“All these times, while all of us are grieving for our loss, you are probably laughing your ass, huh.” Chaz hissed. “Your damn evil, Ryan. You didn’t even think of her kids, who will need their mother!”

I looked at Rhys, begging him to defend himself and say that all of it were untrue.

“Sabihin mo sa aking hindi totoo ang lahat ng iyon.. hindi mo naman ako tinago diba?”

I managed to smile at him. I am confident he has nothing to do with them unable to trace me.

“Rhys, hindi mo ako magagawang lokohin. You can’t do that, right?”

I was hopeful. It was very evident in my voice. Because Rhys will never play with me! Kilala ko siya at hindi ako nito magagawang saktan. Ni ang madapuan ng lamok ay hindi niya hinahayaan. Kaya hindi.. hindi totong tinago niya ako sa loob ng anim na taong nagdaan.

“Stop being a pussy, asshole. Tell her the whole damn truth! You’re not Rhys to begin with!"

I can hear Chaz heavy breathing. Umiling ako at hindi tanggap ang mga sinabi niya.

“Rhys.. tell me, hmm?” I held his hand tightly. "You can't do that. Hindi ka masamang tao para gawin ang binibintang niya.."

Mahigpit na hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Rhys, na tila roon nakasalalay ang buong buhay ko.

“Rhys.. damn that pet name.” Chaz laughed insultingly.

I shook my head, lowkey telling Chaz to shut up.

“Paniniwalaan kita. A-Alam kong hindi mo iyon magagawa. You’re a good person, you can’t..you can’t fool me right? Right, Rhys?” buong pusong pakiusap ko.

“Paano naman ako, Grace? You will believe that man, over me?” si Chaz iyon, nasa boses ang pagtatampo.

Hindi ko siya pinansin at pinanatili ang titig kay Rhys. I swallowed the bile on my throat, staring intently at him. At sa bawat segundong lumilipas na hindi siya nagsasalita, nadudurog ang puso ko.

Parang apoy na mabilis kumalat ang pait at sakit sa buong katawan ko habang pinagmamasdan ang namumungay na mata ng taong inakala kong kakampi at kasangga ko.

“Oh my goodness!” napabitaw ako sa kaniya kasabay ng pagtulo ng luha sa aking mga mata.

Ibig sabihin.. pinaglaruan niya ako? Hindi totoong siya si Rhys and he knows me all along!

My tears fell like a river. My heart hurt so much. Rhys, or more likely Ryan advances a step. He tried to get a hold of me but I firmly shook my head.

“Sofia, let me explain—"

I cut him off with a slap on the face. Alam kong masakit iyon lalo pa at doon lumapat ang palad ko sa dumudugo nitong labi pero wala akong pakialam. My concern about him dissipated.

“I trusted you, Rhys! I trusted you!” puno ng hinanakit kong sigaw.

From my blurry eye sight, he extended his hand in attempt to hold me but I was quick to dodged it off.

“Don’t touch me!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. “A-Ano bang kasalanan ko sa’yo para bilugin ako? Anong.. anong ginawa kong masama sa’yo paglaruan at lokohin ako, huh? Ano?!"

I lost my six years with my children. Nagawang magalit sa akin ng mga anak ko dahil sa kagagawan niya. Pinagmalaki ko pa siya sa mga magulang ko iyon pala..

“I thought you were true. Buong akala ko kakampi kita. Nagtiwala ako sa’yo. Pinagkatiwala ko ang buong buhay ko sa’yo, pero ano?!”

I saw the pain in his eyes making my blood boils even more.

“H-Hindi ka pala totoo..”

I cried harder. Nanlalabo ang mga mata ko dahil sa luha.

"Pinaglaruan mo lang ako.."

Sa loob ng anim na taon. Siya ang kasama ko. Siya ang naging kasangga ko. Siya ang pinagkukunan ko ng lakas noon pero siya rin pala ang dahilan kung bakit ako nanghina.

“Hinahanap ka na ng mga kabaro mo sa loob ng selda. One of these days, you’ll have your reunion.”

Naramdam ko ang presensya ni Chaz sa aking likod at ang paghawak nito sa baywang ko. Siguro kung nasa ibang pagkakataon, agad na akong hihiwalay sa lalaki at pagbabawalan itong hawakan ako ngunit sa puntong ito.. wala roon ang atensyon ko.

“I’ll make sure you’ll end up in jail. Kung noon nakalaya ka, sisiguraduhin kong hindi ka makakatakas ngayon."

Ryan stood in front of us, unbothered with Chaz threat and he was staring at me. Binaon ni Chaz ang ulo ko sa dibdib niya at doon tahimik kong binuhos ang bigat ng aking pakiramdam.

“Wala akong planong tumakas.”

My head was on his chest, his smells attacked my nose. Doon ako natauhan at mabilis na humiwalay sa kaniya. Nakatitig si Chaz sa akin, nakaigting ang panga at salubong na salubong ang kilay.

“I’ll face your wrath.. I deserve it.”

Kung hindi pa ako inakay ni Chaz paalis doon at pinaalalang naghihintay ang mga bata, baka hindi ko pa tinantanan si Rhys—Ryan. I was so disappointed and broken.

I didn't see this coming. I trusted him so much that even in his silence, I respected it. I asked him about it once and his answer was vague. Dahil pala may nililihim siya..

“Kaya pala hindi ko na ito nakita matapos ang aksidente,” bulong-bulong ni Chaz.

I told Chaz I need to freshen up before facing the kids. I don’t want them to worry especially Eira’s observant. We went inside his car and I rummaged through Eira’s things. Mabuti na lang ay may wipes siyang dala. My eyes looked puffy. Sinuklay ko na lang ang buhok ko ng sariling mga kamay. Si Chaz ay pinagmamasdan ako sa driver seat.

“Do you want me to buy you—"

“No need. Magtataka na ang mga bata kung bakit ang tagal-tagal natin.” putol ko sa kaniya saka bumuntonghininga.

I looked at him, who’s staring at me with those deep eyes. His façade is domineering. He doesn’t looked friendly at all.

“Don’t inform my parents about this, Chaz. Baka pwedeng, sa atin na lang muna ito.”

Matagal itong nakipagtitigan sa akin, tinatantya ang reaksyon sa mukha ko. Maya-maya’y huminga ito nang malalim.

“If that’s what you want..” he said, yielding to my command. “But I can’t promise you his freedom. Ipakukulong ko siya, Grace.”

Bumalatay ang galit sa kaniyang mukha na parang kahit anong sabihin ko’y wala nang makakapagpabago sa kaniyang desisyon.

“I’ll..” I licked my lips. “I’ll talk to him first..” mahinang bulong ko.

I have so many questions and I believe he have answers to all of it.

“What? No! Hindi ako papayag!” aniya sa matigas na boses.

“It’s a statement, Chaz Theo. Hindi iyon hiling na kailangan ng aproba mo.”

His gaze dropped to me. He twisted his lips, staring at me with amusement. Kumunot ang noo ko sa kaniya.

“May nakakatawa ba?” sikmat ko.

Kinagat ni Chaz ang pang-ibabang labi na tila pinipigilang mapangiti. Pero sa huli, hindi iyon kinaya at mahinang humalakhak.

“Sige lang, Grace. Magsungit ka lang ng magsungit, mas lalo mo akong binabaliw.”

The smirk on his faded. His eyes softened this time.

“Mas mabuti iyan kaysa makita kitang umiiyak. Your tears are killing me..”

I sighed heavily. Bumabalik na naman ang kirot sa dibdib ko nang muling maalala ang naging tagpo kanina lang.

“Kakausapin ko siya, Chaz. I want to learn his side of the story. Kung totoo mang tinago niya lang ako, there must be someone helping him.”

Then I remember, the woman he addresses as his friend. Iyong palagi niyang pinagkakautangan para lang may pangbili kami ng pagkain at gamot ko kapag walang-wala na.

“He can’t do that alone. Imposibleng sa liit ng Islang iyon, at sa lapit sa Isla Cali.. hindi niyo ako mahahanap kung gayon man. Rhys.. I mean Ryan,” I cleared my throat. “He’s a fishermen. Hindi sa minamaliit ko ang mga mangingisda pero hindi makakayang itago ako ni Ryan sa loob ng ilang taon, without you knowing. You, who has all the resources.” I expounded.

Tumingala si Chaz na tila nag-iisip. This could be the reason why Ryan is mum about the accident. At iyong babaeng palagi niyang kausap sa telepono ang posibleng kakuntyaba niya.

“You’re right. Someone else is behind this.” Chaz murmured. “Whoever that person is, we’ll make them pay. They can’t get away from this.”

“Yes, kaya kung ano mang pinaplano mo, huwag mo munang ituloy. I need to know everything.”

Bumaba ang tingin sa akin ni Chaz. Ngumiti siya, iyong ngiti na walang bahid ng ng kapilyuhan. A sincere smile per se.

Hindi rin kami nagtagal doon. Pagkabalik namin sa loob ng restaurant, wala na sila Xander at Eira sa pinag-iwanan namin. They’re supposed to sit near the glass wall, reason why I instantly spotted Ryan going out of the cafe but my children are not there!

“Where are they?” nilingon ko si Chaz, natataranta na.

Pero si Chaz ay kalmado lang na nagpamulsa at may tinuro sa kung saang parte ng restaurant gamit lamang ang kaniyang labi.

Sinundan ko ng tingin ang nginuso niya at napahinga ng maluwag nang makita ang dalawa kong anak. Eira is busy eating her cake. Si Xander ay preteng nakaupo, pabalik-balik ang tingin sa may pinto at nang makita kami, nanlaki ang mata nito na parang nakakita ng multo.

We walked towards them and as if in que, Eira lifted her head making our gaze met. Nasa bibig pa ang kutsara na agad nitong tinanggal. Lumiwanag ang kaniyang mukha na tila kanina pa kami inaabangan. Hinagilap ni Eira ang baso ng tubig sa gilid saka uminom.

“Mommy!” she exclaimed, sounding excited.

Tuluyan kaming nakalapit. Chaz pulled a chair for me just beside my daughter. Umupo ako roon.

“Hi, anak. Sorry natagalan kami.” I said before caressing her cheeks.

“Where have you been, Mommy, Daddy?” she curiously asked as she stared at me and to her Dad.

“Diyan lang sa labas. May tiningnan lang,” I smiled.

“Tagal niyo po Mommy, si Xandy nakilipat ng lamesa.” sumbong nito.

Napalingon ako kay Xander. Mukhang kanina niya pa ako pinagmamasdan at agad na naglipat ng tingin nang nilingon ko.

“Mabuti naman at naisipan mong lumipat. Pangit ng pwesto roon,” si Chaz sabay gulo sa buhok ni Xander.

Siya ang katabi ng bata habang kaming dalawa ni Eira.

“Y-Yeah..”

Muntik ko pang hindi marinig ang sinabi ni Xander sa hina no’n.

“Mommy why do you look so sad? Nag cry po ikaw?”

Nawala ang atensyon ko kay Xander at nalipat sa isa ko pang anak. Matamang nakatitig si Eira sa mukha ko.

“Uh.. no baby,” I lied.

Ayaw ko mang magsinungaling dahil masama iyon lalo pa at sa sarili kong anak, pero kailangan. If I’ll tell her the whole story, she will be worried and worse will shed tears too. Beside, they’re too young to understand the context. Hindi dapat mga ganitong usapan ang inaalala nila.

“I’m fine, anak. Eat na tayo so we can go home?” I uttered, diverting the topic.

Eira smiled and nodded her head. We then started eating. Ngunit palaging
lumilipad ang isipan ko kay Ryan. I really need to talk to him. Kailangan kong maliwanagan.

Pagkarting sa bahay, nauna kaming pumasok dahil si Chaz ay may kakausapin pa raw sa telepono. Naghihintay na si Veronica na agad linapitan si Xander.

“I cooked your favorite, Xandy. Lets—"

“I’m good po.” Xander abruptly said, cutting her off. “We already ate. I’m full, Mom.”

Si Eira ay inakay na ako palapit sa sofa, iniwan silang dalawa. Kahit ganoon naririnig ko pa rin ang kanilang usapan.

“Mommy, we have a homework.” si Eira sabay lapag ng bag sa upuan. “Teach me po para perfect ako!”

Naupo ako habang si Eira ay nagsimulang maghalungkat sa kaniyang bag.

“Ayaw mo bang magpalit muna, anak?” I asked her.

Umiling lang si Eira at nilabas ang kaniyang notebook na may cover na Winnie The Pooh. I chuckled remembering her story about that cartoon character.

“Are you excited for the kids park? You’ll love it there, Xandy. Sama natin ang daddy mo?”

Nilingon ko sila Xander at Veronica. Xander was looking at us even though Veronica is still talking.

“I am not in the mood today. Maybe next time?” malumalay na sabi ng anak ko.

Tumikhim ako at tinuon ang atensyon kay Eira. Pinakita niya sa akin ang takdang aralin at nagawa pang basahin ito. Both of us sat on the carpeted floor, facing the round center table.

“I have homework too..” it was Xander.

Mukhang hindi ito sasama sa pupuntahan ni Veronica at magpapaturo na lang sa kaniya.

“Then I’ll help you! Where’s it? I’m sure it’s just a piece of cake for you..”

Tumayo si Eira at binalikan ang bag. Pasulyap-sulyap ako kay Xander at Veronica. Mabuti na lang at hindi pumayag ang anak ko na lumabas.

“Yes. I won’t need your help po. I’m okay. I can ace it." may pagmamayabang sa boses na aniya.

Nakontento akong hindi siya sumama kay Veronica. Eira and I stayed at the living room finishing her homework. While Xander head straight into his room. Nasa ganoon kaming posisyon nang pumasok si Chaz.

“Si Xander?” agad na tanong nito.

“Xandy’s upstairs, Daddy. Mommy is helping me do my homework!”

Chaz smiled and went to us. He kissed the top of Eira’s head making my daughter giggled.

“I’ll talk to him.” sabi niya, nasa akin ang paningin.

Tumango ako. Si Veronica ay hindi ko alam kung nasaan na naman. Pagkatapos tanggihan ni Xander ay hindi na nagpaalam kung saan pupunta.

“Dito lang kami,” I said and smiled.

Nagtungo rin siya sa taas para kay Xander. Habang kaming dalawa ni Eira ay naiwan sa sala. It took us an hour before we finished the task. Until then, Chaz didn’t return. Mukhang napapasarap ang kanilang pag-uusap.

“Mommy let’s play!” Eira announced after arranging her things.

“Mom’s game. But first, let’s get you changed. You're still wearing your school uniform.” ani ko saka tumayo.

Eira stood too and held my hand.

“We can play scrabble with Daddy and Xandy..” aniya habang tinatahak naming ang hagdan.

“We’ll do that. Anything else, anak?”

I am not certain if Xander will agree but I’m trying my luck. After what I heard earlier from him, I can really tell he got bad impression of me. Hindi niya ako gusto at galit pa sa akin. Sana lang.. bigyan niya ako ng pagkakataong maging ina sa kaniya. Na bumawi sa ilang taong pagiging wala ko.

“I’m happy you’re here, Mommy. Thank you for coming back to us..” Eira murmured softly.

She encircled her hands around my neck and kissed my cheeks.

“I love you po. Love na love ko kayo ni Daddy and Xandy..”

My heart warmed. We are now currently inside her room. Nakapagpalit na siya into a pink dress which I personally choose.

“I love you more, baby. Mahal na mahal ko kayo ng kapatid mo.”

“And Daddy, yeah?” sinilip ni Eira ang mukha ko.

Her ecstatic eyes yields hope and undying love.

“You love Daddy too, Mommy?” ulit niya pa.

Napakurap-kurap ako, hindi alam ang sasabihin. Parati akong nagugulat sa mga tanong ni Eira.

“Right, Mommy?” she probed more.

I bite my lower lip. I stared at her for a moment. Her face is so bright. The overflowing love for her Dad is very evident. I smiled at her and slowly nods my head. The nonverbal que made Eira smiled widely.

Nahihirapan ako kapag ganitong ang anak ko. Sana hindi na muli ito magtanong ng ganoong bagay. Chaz and I have to tell them our stand. Hindi pwedeng ganito na lang palagi.

“Daddy loves you too so..so..much, and Xandy. I'm sorry for what he said earlier, Mommy. Xandy didn't mean it.."

I let her express her feelings comfortably. Mabuting habang bata pa siya, marunong na itong magsabi ng nararamdaman.

“I only like you for, Daddy. Not tita Veronica.”

We were already walking to the door when she said that.

“Tita is nice when Daddy’s around, but when it is just me and Xandy.. she would always say your dead na. That I should start calling her Mommy because Daddy will soon marry her.”

I twisted the doorknob and we both went out of the door.

“It’s obvious she likes him, but Daddy doesn’t love her. Even after Daddy rejected her when she confessed, tita still is desperate to pursue him.”

I stopped from walking and turn around to face her. I labeled my gaze to Eira. Nakangiwi ang anak ko na parang may inaalang nakakadiring pangyayari.

“She didn’t hurt you, right anak? Hindi naman kayo pinagbuhatan ng kamay ng tita mo?”

If ever she did, I don’t think I can forgive her. Maaaring pinsan ko siya pero wala siyang karapatang saktan ang mga anak ko.

“She didn’t hurt us physically, Mommy. But every time she talks about you.. being gone, na ‘di na raw kayo babalik.. I was hurt too. That’s why I don’t like her.” aniya sabay irap.

Napahinga ako nang malalim.

“Well, tita is wrong since I’m here now. I won’t leave you two anymore. We won’t be separated.” I assured her.

Nagpapasalamat ako kay Veronica sa pagtayong ina ng mga anak ko, pero hindi tama ‘to. I might be gone years ago but talking about death in front of my children is too much. They’re just kids. At hindi tamang paulit-ulit niya itong ipaalala ang masalimot na pangyayaring iyon.

Pagkababa namin sa sala, si Chaz ang naabutan namin. Agad na tumakbo si Eira sa kaniya at nagpakarga.

“Daddy, let’s play! Oh, wait I’ll call Xandy to join us!”

Chaz and I shared a look but he hastily look away. Kumunot ang noo ko nang mapansin bahagyang namumula ang mga mata nito. Umiyak siya?

“Xandy is resting, love. Let’s not disturb him, hmm?”

Lumapit ako sa kanila. Hindi pa rin nagawang tumingin sa akin ni Chaz na tila sinasadyang iwasan ang mga mata ko. Naningkit ang mga mata ko. Nag heart to heart talk siguro ang mag-ama at nag-iyakan.

“Okay, Daddy! Us three na lang ang mag play!”

Iyon nga ang nangyari sa mga sumunod na oras. The activities seemed to exhaust Eira that immediately after talking half bath and changing into her pajamas, she dozed off to sleep.

Ni hindi na nga ako nagawang kulitin tungkol sa pagtulog ko sa tabi niya. I was about to remind her of the sleepover but looks like she also forgot about it. 

Bago umuwi ay muli kong binisita si Xander. Buong magdamag lang siyang nasa kwarto niya at gustuhin ko mang puntahan ay hindi ko nagawa para bigyan siya ng panahon magpahinga.

I texted the driver to fetch me. Kanina ko pa hinahanap si Veronica pero hindi pa rin ito bumabalik.

“Ihahatid—"

“On the way na ang driver namin. Stay here and look after the kids.” I said, not letting Chaz to finish.

He sighed heavily. I thanked God he didn’t pushed the subject. Habang naghihintay sa labas ay kasama ko lang si Chaz. A black SUV pulled over in front of us. Chaz was fast enough to open the car’s door.

“Thanks,” I said and went inside.

“Always, Grace..” Chaz smiled. “Have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He shut the door right after it. I sighed heavily and leaned my back on the sit. Akala ko aalis na kami pero nagulat ako ng katukin ni Chaz ang bintana ng passenger seat. The driver then rolled the windows down.

“Gandang gabi, bossing!” he said it casually. “Ingat ho sa pagmamaneho, kung maari bente lang ang bilis. Papakasalan ko pa ‘yan.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Dinungaw ko siya at ang hudyo ay nagawa pa akong kindatan. Humalakhak lang ang driver namin sa ginawa nito.

Habang nasa biyahe, binuksan ko ang cellphone at hindi na ako nagulat nang mabasa ang text mula kay Ryan.

From Rhys:
I'm sorry, Sofia. Please know I only did what I thought is best for you. Maiintindihan ko kung magagalit ka. Tatanggapin ko iyon at handa akong pagbayaran ang kasalanan ko.

Natulala ako sa labas ng bintana. He lied to me. He knows where my home is hence but he feigned ignorance. Looking back, he was really so good to me. Hindi niya ako binastos at inalagaan pa. Ang hindi ko lang matanggap ay kung bakit niya ako nagawang lokohin. When I said I remember my family, he didn't have a second thought and immediately agreed to help me.

I started typing for a reply, determined to unveil everything and end this once and for all.

To: Rhys
See me tomorrow at 8 AM.

I indicated the name of the restaurant where we had our lunch. Dahil binabagabag pa rin ako sa nangyari kanina, hindi ako dumiretso sa kwarto pagdating sa bahay. Sa pool area ako dinala ng aking mga paa. I heard the splash of water, meaning someone is having a night swim on the pool.

Lumapit ako sa isa mga sun lounger saka naupo. On my side is a glass and a bottle of wine. Nasa tabi ko ring sun lounger ang siguro kaniyang silk bathrobe.

I watched her swim back and fort. My eyes is fixated on her but my mind is somewhere else. Hindi ko pa rin matanggap na nagawa akong lokohin ni Ryan. Napakahirap tanggapin lalo pa at saksi ako sa pagiging mabuti niyang tao.

Ilang minutong nagpalangoy-langoy si Veronica hanggang sa magsawa ito at umahon. I watched her walks like a model in a runway. She’s only wearing a red two piece, hugging her perfect curves.

Veronica spotted me. Linapitan niya ang pwesto ko na kung saan naroon din ang mga gamit niya. She didn't bother drying her body and instantly pour the alcohol on the wine glass.

"Sinong naghatid sa'yo? Si Theo?" tanong niya, nasa baso ang mga mata.

"Hindi. Sinundo ako ng driver."

Tumutulo pa ang tubig sa kaniyang katawan nang umupo siya, paharap sa akin.

“Do you love him?” tanong niyang muli saka inilahad ang baso ng alak sa akin.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa kaniya. Is she drunk already?

“You don’t, correct?” she asked again, her lips twitching.

Hindi ako sumagot at piniling pagmasdan siya. Kung ganoon ay si Chaz ang kaniyang pinupunto.

“You know, Sofia..” she trailed off, bringing the glass into her mouth when she realized I have no plan of accepting it.

Mukhang kanina pa siya nag-iinom at may tama na ng alak. Pinagmasdan niya ako habang iniinom. After drinking, she licked her lips and sighed.

“I was with them for the past years. I was there when he needed someone. Because apparently, he was devastated. You broke his heart and I was there to put it back into pieces..”

She smiled, but it didn’t reached her eyes.

“I love your kids, and their father. I love him when I first laid my eyes on him, seven years ago.. when he visited his mother on the U.S.”

I squinted my eyes on her. Okay, why is she telling me this right now?

“We had a good time back then. Chaz was oozing with sexual appeal that I find myself seeking for him everywhere I go. I have no idea he was already married, worst is.. to you, who’s my fucking cousin.”

Pilit na nagtagpo ang kilay ko habang pinagmamasdan siyang tila nahihirapan.

“I was willing to give up. I am not a homewrecker. Kahit masakit kayo kong magpaubaya kasi nakikita ko namang mahal niyo ang isa’t-isa. But all of my sane thoughts vanished when the accident happened, and right then and there.. I discovered you aren’t really legally married.” basag ang boses na aniya pa.

Napasinghap ako. Magsalubong na ang aking mga kilay habang nakatingin kay Veronica na nagpapahid ng luha.

“Anong magagawa ko, Sofia? Mahal na mahal ko siya. I left my career.. I left my everything for him. I served his family in hopes that one day.. he will love me, like the way I love him.”

I gritted my teeth. I don't like where this is heading.

“Wala ka naman ng nararamdaman sa kaniya. In fact, you’ll most probably despise him when you recover your memories.” she burst out into tears.

Napasinghap ako. Patuloy na umaagos ang luha niya sa harapan ko.

“You will only hurt him. A-Ako hindi.. hinding hindi ko siya sasaktan. Mamahalin ko siya nang higit pa sa buhay ko. But you..” her voice broke. “You will only give him pain for the love that you can’t give.”

Nagtiim bagang ako. I watched her wipe her own tears. Siguro.. ang sama kong pinsan na kahit umiiyak at nagdurusa siya sa aking harapan, wala akong nararamdamang awa.

“So please, Sofia.. a-akin na lang siya. I-Ipaubaya mo na lang siya sa akin.”

Napatayo ako. Her eyes followed my movement, looking so broken and desperate.

“Bakit hindi ka sa kaniya makiusap na suklian ang pagmamahal mo, Veronica? It’s not like I own him,” matabang kong sabi.

“Iyon nga nga..” she chuckled. “We were getting there. I know, I can already feel it but then suddenly, bumalik ka para guluhin ang pagsasama namin!”

“Both of us know the real score between us. Mga anak ko ang habol ko, not him!”

Dahil ba nagkakamabutihan na sila wala na akong karapatang magpakita? Our life doesn’t revolve around them! Parang pinaparatang niyang kasalanang nabuhay ako at naging balakid sa namumuong pagmamahalan nilang dalawa!

“But you’re giving him hopes, Sofia! Sa tuwing nag p-pupunta ka sa bahay nila.. umaasa siyang magbabalikan pa ka—"

“Well of course I’ll be there. My children lives with him. Ano ako ang mag a-adjust para sa love story niyong dalawa?”

Veronica stood. Nagmamakaawa niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko.

“You can be with the twins without having to see him. That way.. Chaz will not expect anything from you. You can bring them here, or in your condo. Anywhere away from him..”

Binawi ko ang kamay ko. Dismayado sa mga naririnig mula sa sarili kong pinsan.

“If he really is into you, he won't jeopardize your relationship just because of my presence. Kahit pa buong araw kaming magkasama, kung talagang ikaw ang mahal niya hindi iyon titingin sa iba."

Umawang ang labi ni Veronica. She looked so hurt but that's the truth.

"Veronica, he's just a man. If ever he can't reciprocate your feelings.. he's not meant for you. Marami pang—"

"Iyon na nga, Sofia! Marami pero siya ang gusto ko! Siya lang! Nag-iisa lang si Theo na mahal ko. So please.. please.. give him to me, Sofie. Nagmamakaawa ako.."

Matalim na ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Bakit ba ako ang pinakikiusapan nito eh hindi ko naman hawak ang desisyon ng lalaking iyon!

"Kahit magmakaawa ka pa, o sabihin kong sige iyo na.. walang saysay kong ang tao mismo ang aayaw. Pwede ba, Veronica wake up! Hindi nililimos ang pag-ibig!"

Eira and my sister informed me about this. Hulog na hulog na nga ang pinsan ko para umabot sa ganito. She's even threatened that I am back when I am exactly doing nothing! Hindi pa nga nag-iisang linggo..

I left her alone that night. Dumagdag lang sa gulo ng isip ko ang nangyaring iyon. Sa sobrang pag-iisip ay pumipintig pa ang ulo ko sa munting kirot. Hanggang sa tuluyang akong dalawin ng antok.

Maaga muli akong nagpunta sa bahay ni Chaz sa kabila ng bilin sa akin ni Veronica na huwag magpupunta roon kinabukasan. It’s not like si Chaz ang sadya ko.

Like yesterday, we shared breakfast on one table. Tumulong ako sa pag-aayos ni Eira. I even braided her hair. Xander on the other hand was silent. Not new but I still tried to strike a conversation.

“You can watch us from a distance.” sabi ko kay Chaz habang papunta kami sa cafe para kitain si Ryan.

I was still not used to call him with that name.

“I can join your table, it’s better that way.”

Mabilis na lumipad sa kaniya ang matalim na tingin ko.

“Huwag mo nang ipilit, mabuti nga at hinayaan kitang sumama.”

He glanced at me before sighing heavily.

“Alright. I’ll be watching you.” pagsuko niya.

Napatango ako. Pagkatapos naming ihatid ang mga bata sa ekskwela ay agad akong nagyayang puntahan na si Ryan. Kating-kati akong malaman ang totoo. Pinagmasdan ko si Chaz. Hindi ko masisisi kung bakit hulog na hulog ang pinsan ko sa lalaki.

“Wait here,”

Nang maayos na naipark ni Chaz ang kotse ay mabilis itong lumabas. Umikot siya at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto. Tahimik akong bumaba. My eyes flew hastily inside the restaurant.

Kaunti pa lang ang mga customer, siguro dahil na rin kasi maaga pa.
Pagkapasok namin sa loob, namataan ko na agad si Ryan. Linapitan ko siya.
Ryan was about to stand and probably give me a sit but I instantly shook my head.

Sinipat ko si Chaz na naupo sa katabing lamesa, mabilis ko ring binalik ang tingin kay Ryan at nang matapos na. He looked so weary. Parag puyat at ilang gabing walang tulog. Bumuka ang labi niya, akmang magsasalita ng dumating ang server.

“Good morning, Ma’am, Sir! May I take your order?”

I dropped my gaze and saw a glass filled with half water. Iyon lang yata ang inorder niya. For the waitress to leave us, I ordered three dishes. Hindi naman ako nabigo at umalis din.

“Let’s go straight to the point. Tell me everything, Ryan. Lahat-lahat, iyong walang halong kasinungalingan.” I said before he could even say a word.

Umawang ang labi niya, tila nagulat sa malamig kong pakikitungo sa kaniya.

“I want to know everything. Mula sa umpisa, kung paano mo ako nahanap at kung sino ang tumutulong sa’yo.”

That has been a question since they one. Only that, I don’t have the courage to asked him way before. I respected him. Tinanaw kong utang na loob ang buhay ko sa kaniya na kahit ang kaniyang pananahimik ay nirespeto ko.

"This is your last chance. I am already disappointed. Huwag mo nang palalain."

Nakipagtitigan siya sa akin, malamlam ang mga mata. I really can't believe he can do it. I even like him. Kaya ba.. iyon ang naging sagot niya nang inamin kong gusto ko siya?

“I will tell you this, not to save myself because I know what I did was awfully wrong." he sighed.

I maintained a straight face despite the chaos deep within me.

“Before anything, I want you to know that I did that to protect you. Nag-alala ako sa'yo at iyon ang nakikita kong tamang gawin ng mga panahong iyon."

Habang nagsasalita siya, narinig ko ang mahinang pagtikhim ng tao sa kabilang mesa. I remained my focus on Ryan and not giving a single glance at Chaz.

“Nag tatrabaho ako sa isang restaurant, alam mo ‘yon dahil isang beses kayong kumain ng kaibigan mong si Jenny. I sometimes do the delivery service, and that day.. we accidentally bumped into each other..” namungay ang mata niya.

“Tulala ka at parang wala sa sarili. Hindi mo ako namukaan at nang makita ko ang babaeng kasama mo, dumoble ang pag-alala ko. Malaki ang pagsisisi kong inuna ang trabaho bago kayo sundan. I saw the car you were in, falling from that cliff..”

“What happened to the person I was with? Maayos naman siya diba? Nakaligtas naman siya?”

Ryan gaze softened more, then he nodded.

“Natakot ako, Sofia.. I was scared you wouldn’t make it so I called the only person I know who will help us. Dahil sa kaniya, nadala ka namin sa malapit na hospital. Siya ang kinakapitan ko noon, kaya nang sinabi nitong lumayo muna tayo habang hindi pa nahuhuli ang may sala.. walang pagdadalawang isip akong pumayag.”

I was right.. hindi nga siya nag-iisa.

“Wala akong intensyong itago ka sa kanila lalo na sa mga anak mo. But everytime I tried to bring you back to your family, she will hinder it saying the culprit wasn’t captured yet. Nagtiwala ako sa kaniya.. na malaking pagkakamaling ginawa ko.” his jaw hardened.

"I was so scared, Sofia. Those men are after you.. I was blinded by own feelings.. all that is clear to me that time is to protect you. Kampante akong ginagawa nila ang lahat para kapag bumalik tayo'y maayos na ang lahat." Rhys bowed his head.

“Then why did you lie, Ryan? Kahit ang totoong pangalan ko, pinagkait mong malaman ko.” I said, disappointment is laced in my voice.

“Sofia, you’re vulnerable! At kung sabihin ko man sa’yo ang totoo, magkakandarapa kang bumalik at delikado. I don't want to risk your health. Mahigpit na bilin ng doctor na huwag kang biglain o tuluyan mong makakalimutan ang mga alaala mo." binasa nito ang pang-ibabang labi, malalim na nakatitig sa akin.

"That time, I have no other choice but to trust her. I was so convinced she wouldn’t betray us. Kapamilya mo ‘yon, katulad ko umaasa akong nag-aalala rin siya sa’yo..”

Parang nagpanting ang tainga ko sa narinig. Kapamilya.. huwag mong sabihing.

“Ma’am Veronica was one of my boss friends when I was still working. Ilang beses ko siyang nakita noon, and she would even gave me tips. Nalaman ko lang na magpinsan kayo nang bisitahin kita sa hospital. She asked for my number. Every time she will asked for foods from the restaurant, ako ang tinatawagan niya.”

My jaw clenched. Naikuyom ko ang sariling mga kamay habang unti-unting bumibigat ang paghinga.

"Kasalanan ko rin.. kasi habang tumatagal na magkasama tayo, nagugustuhan ko na rin. Na habang tumatagal na magkasama tayo.. may parte sa aking ayaw ka nang ibalik sa kanila.."

I saw him licked his lower lip. Tila hindi gustong tapusin ang dapat sabihin. I gritted my teeth. Watching him darkly.
From my peripheral vision, I saw Chaz stood.

“We're done here. Let’s go.”

We are probably feeling the same rage and betrayal right now. All from the same person.